THE HOUR IS NIGH.

Um…

I think it’s pretty safe to say that The United States of America is going to go to war with Iran. You read me. We are going to go to war with Iran. So soon. So very soon.

My God. My dear God.

We’re not even out of the muck in Iraq, and the signs are all pointed towards this eventuality. Call it fear over their nuclear weapons program, greed, oil, or insanity, but this is going to be happening in very little time. I can predict it in the articles I’ve been perusing with the threats and Israel’s growing uneasiness in taking action. Russia and China are on Iran's side, and there we are (geographically speaking) to the right and left of our next target--with troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, and Iran right in the middle.

So World War III (or just plain Armageddon) really started on September 11, 2001. It really f*ckin’ did. "I can see clearly now the rain is gone!" Since that awful nightmarish stupid day, it’s been nothing but downhill from there: threat of terrorism, increased fear, government surveillance, anti-gay/abortion rhetoric, more natural disasters, a hideous war in Iraq, and increased tension with nations the world over. It’s the Bushy administration ain’t it? They orchestrated that killer tsunami and Hurricane Katrina too I bet....okay, that's a stretch, but I'm only kidding!

Ah…the Clinton years. When all we worried about was his penis getting Lewinskied.

Those were the days…

Further reading (AND BOY ARE THESE SCARY AND MUST READS!) :

http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/012706_bombing_iran.shtml

http://www.fromthewilderness.com/free/ww3/012706_deadman_walking.shtml

THE DAY AFTER THE "CRASH" OF ACADEMY FLIGHT 2006 INTO "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

Now that I'm a little more composed after yesterday's Oscars, I'd like to kinda review the show and some of the winners.

Jon Stewart as host was not great, but was not that horrible either. I thought he did a decent job. My absolute favorite line of his was after the social injustice/problems/issues movie montage that Hollywood has portrayed and tackled where he said, "And thankfully, none of those issues were ever a problem for us again." That had me roaring!

A wonderful surprise and most deserved award went to composer Gustavo Santaolalla for his Brokeback Mountain score, which is truly haunting and beautiful. I was very proud of him, as he has produced one of my favorite Mexican rock groups for years, the amazing Café Tacuba, and now the Argentine is working in Hollywood no less! He made me even happier as he dedicated his award para todos los latinos, or "to all Latinos everywhere." That was cool.

How did that hip hop song even win over the Crash or the Dolly Parton tune? That was so low class! I hated it! It made me wonder if that award wasn't rigged, for just as they had finished embarrassingly performing it, Queen Latifah came out and gave them the award for Best Song! I've heard way better hip hop songs than that piece o'shit! UGH! Gimme Missy Elliot, Busta Rhymes, or Tupac puleaze!

I like Reese Witherspoon, and I watched Walk The Line the night before the Oscars and she was okay in her role, but not Oscar worthy like Felicity Huffman was in Transamerica. That was a mistake! It's Joaquin Phoenix who really makes that movie. Oh my God, he is incredible in that film. My hats off to you!

And then Buttcrack Mtn. won the Adapted Screenplay and Best Director award (which are great prizes indeed), and for sure all the rumors that Trash was gonna sneak up and take the big prize could not be true...and out comes Jack Nicholson (who voted for BB Mtn. according to Oprah), and he almost fainted as he read the upsetting winner. Just like when Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan. Yeah, I took it personally allright, I thought I was watching the Twin Towers on fire again.

And the message/bulletin boards have gone off ever since:

-"With all of the things that are a problem in this country right, due to the neocon agenda, ya mean, I gotta listen to faggots whine too? Look, I'm lactose intolerant (born that way) and they haven't made a movie about it, or given me a place at the political table. Please, save your "poor queers" sob story until after we fix the mess this country's in."

-'Crash' was nothing more than a sub-par TV Movie Of The Week but I'm glad it was made, actually released and then nominated for a bunch of awards it doesn't deserve if only so that we could all be treated to a literal dance interpretation of its ham-fisted bullshit premise."

-"As for the the Acedemy voted for Crash becuase they all live in LA that's a load of BS. It was and is a better movie than Buttcrack Mountain. America does not want to see gay cowboys? Yes you are absolutely right! I would say many Americans are sick and tired of seeing the homosexual agenda pushed down everybody's throats! They proved that the movies are based on merit and NOT on sexual orientation or what is fashionable at the time! ith! However, I know I can do one of two things: 1. Change the channel, 2. Turn the TV OFF. I elected for #2.If ABC and the "academy" wonder why the ratings are so low, maybe they should ask "mainstream" Americans why! Most people in America don't care for queer movies for starters...."

-"I am happy that Crash won because it said some very important things we should all know:1.) When crazy Muslims come to kill your kids, Jesus will protect you.2.) The best hope in life for crazy upper class white women is to have a faithful servent who will listen to their abuse and not quit their jobs. 3.) Racist cops are all really good people underneath. 4.) Liberals are all really potential murderers. 5.) Black hoodlums do in fact carjack. But they draw the line at participating in the slave trade. That's best left to elderly Asian men."

-"Back In Your Closets, Faggots!! Your 15-minutes of fame is over!"

Ah yes, this is America folks!

Further reading:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gene-stone/hollywood-hardly-hearts-h_b_16886.html

http://theenvelope.latimes.com/awards/oscars/env-turan5mar05,0,5359042.story

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/11700333/

http://theenvelope.latimes.com/columnists/insider/env-screenscrash7mar07,0,5184709.column?coll=env-home-headlines

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THE "CRASH" OF "BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN."

Okay. I almost had a heart attack, but I'll be fine...

The Academy Awards are over, and Crash just pulled off one of the biggest upsets in Oscar history by winning the Best Picture of the year! Yeah, I’m horrified to say the least.

The gays in America are probably dropping like flies at this very moment and the homophobe folk are having a field day I'm sure. Hey, nothing to be ashamed about kids, Brokeback Mountain took home some big awards and will be remembered and stay in people’s hearts long after tonight’s Best Picture winner’s excitement dies down.

It’s only an awards show anyway. Well, to some of us:

http://crushedbyinertia.blogspot.com/2006/03/jon-stewarts-in-serious-trouble.html

BUT SIRIUSLY NOW!

So this week, CBS chairman Les Moonves decided to sue Howard Stern for mentioning his new home Sirius Satellite Radio too much during his last few months in 2005 on the air as king of the regular morning radio airwaves.

How utterly lame! This is certainly in retaliation over Stern’s incredible influence on his fan base (me included) to move from regular boring morning radio to subscribing to Sirius to catch his incredibly amazing and funny show. Let’s face it, isn’t it a coincidence that ratings released this week show Stern’s replacements doing poorly in the morning? Why is this? Because every other morning show is pretty bad! Unfunny, unoriginal bores! And in the same week, he gets sued. Uh huh.

Stern’s former employer is no doubt pissed off at its failure to find adequate morning jocks to replace him, and is most likely jealous as hell that he got me and about two million others to faithfully follow him to his new Sirius home and subscribe to him no matter what.

SUCKAS! I have been a faithful Howard listener since 1995, and will continue to for as long as he’s around. Yeah, I gotta pay now for it, but he brings me so much laughter for being the stupid crude hawk-nosed silly ugly Jew bastard that he is, that it is well worth it. He should win against this lawsuit easily, for it really has no merit whatsoever.

As Howard would say, “What else is in the news Robin?”

WORLD EXCLUSIVE: WAT'S FAILED "AMERICAN IDOL" AUDITION!

YES! The lost tape! My noble, but failed attempt to be the next American Idol!

Oh well.

SO MUCH FOR MARDI GRAS!

Ow! Ow! OH DEAR GOD OW!

As if my sensitive teeth didn’t make me suffer enough back in December! One of my fillings fell out in January, got redone, and just happened to fall out yet again this past weekend! UGH! NOT AGAIN I THOUGHT! NOT FREAKIN’ AGAIN!

In order to avoid strangling my regular dentist, I decided to do some research and go to a brand new dentist that was competent and covered by my insurance. Oh I found him all right, and today’s three and a half hours in that office was about as enjoyable as open heart surgery, and not just the physical experience, but I had a lot more to pay out of my own pocket than usual. Thanks insurance for almost nothing!

My God this doc is good. Phenomenally good, and oh so thorough and a perfectionist. My mouth has not been that agape and hideously opened, prodded, and abused in my entire life! I had X-rays taken, pictures, air blown, a small camera inserted, my gum topically numbed, two injections of Novocain sickeningly jabbed into my piehole, my tooth redrilled, my gum pulled down, my tooth then rebuffed, cleaned, scraped, cured, refilled, then polished! He took quite a few breaks in between to tend to his other patients and let my jaw rest I’m sure during all of this. JAYSUS CHRIST.

He identified a number of other problems I supposedly have to take care of, but I don’t even wanna hear it or think about it, my main goal was to get this filling redone right. He made my teeth sound like a disaster, and I was wondering if it wasn’t his excited joy of bilking my insurance co.

I’m so sore, and oh how my jaw is throbbing. I have to put this all into perspective, it could be worse, it could be so much worse…

Time for Advil.

U GOTS TA LOVE TECHNOLOGY!

I really really like my new laptop and the dude in this pic! WOOHOO! Check it out: WAT’s new laptop. I kept joking with my friend William at work that it’s more of a chesttop to me since I can now use it to view online hardcore porn whilst in my room and on my bed lying down. Yes, we’re crude bastards I know.

And oh yeah, please, and I mean PULEAZE make some time to watch this fully informative and must see PBS online program from Frontline that was just posted about two days ago. It’s about the current God awful violence in Iraq. Very very riveting if you ask me and a must-see to understand the true nature of this awful beast.

And kudos to Frontline for making their programs always very simple and enjoyable to watch. Divided into four parts, each segment is about twelve minutes long, and very very educational:

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/insurgency/view/

"I WANT THE TRUTH!"

I’d like to understand just what is wrong with these people: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Yeah. The most convincing madly in love couple in Hollywood!

Looks like Katie is now a Scientologist and is very heavily involved in that whole crazy cult thing thanks to her loving amazing stud boyfriend. And of course, she’s pregnant with Tom’s child which they no doubt conceived through normal hardcore sexual intercourse. Nope, Tom is not gay at all, and this relationship proves it! He was even on Oprah jumping up and down the couch showing off how overwhelmingly in love he is with good ole’ Katie!

Frankly, I’ve never been a fan of either of these two dolts. Tom’s movies are pretty forgettable, and I remember Katie back from Dawson’s Crack with her God awful character, cheap storylines, and annoying acting. Frankly, she was the only one on that cheesy program I wanted to punch in the face most of the time.

But let’s not be hateful now. I wish these two the very best, despite the break-up rumors, Tom being gay lies, and every other little thing us envious evil celebrity gossipers are saying. And joy of joys, an artificially inseminated baby is on the way too!

I mean, er, um...

I really hope Tom Cruise doesn’t sue my poor broke skinny ass.

صدام حسين عبد المجيد التكريتي

Dare I say it man? DARE I SAY IT???!!!

I’m now starting to believe that Saddam Hussein should’ve been left in power in Iraq. What is it with these ridiculous shocking horrible daily headlines coming out of that country which seems to be spiraling out of control ever since the American invasion back in 2003?

From the Associated Press today:

Shrine Bombing Brings Deadly Reprisals
AP –
SAMARRA, Iraq - Insurgents detonated bombs inside one of Iraq's holiest Shiite shrines Wednesday, destroying its golden dome and triggering more than 90 reprisal attacks on Sunni mosques. The president warned that extremists were pushing the country toward civil war, as many Shiites lashed out at the United States as partly to blame. As the gold dome of the 1,200-year-old Askariya shrine lay in ruins, leaders on both sides called for calm: But the string of back-and-forth attacks seemed to push the country closer to all-out civil war than at any point in the three years since the U.S.-led overthrow of Saddam Hussein

Yeah, that great big giant bastard Saddam might be insane and ran that country like a Hitlerian psychopath, but it seems like he kept all these warring Moslem groups in check. They knew the consequences of stepping over the line, and the country was not in the grave disarray that it now finds itself in. Do these people even want freedom? Democracy? It sure doesn’t look like it.

I love America. I love this country. We make serious mistakes though. And this just may be the biggest since Vietnam. Our precious hot soldier stud boys dying, different Islamic tribes at each other’s throats, journalists/peacekeepers getting kidnapped and murdered, and it goes on and on, despite the new Iraqi president and constitution, which seem to be worth zilch.

Get that hilarious entertaining madman loon Saddam out of that courtroom and put him back in his palace in Baghdad.

‘Cause this shit just keeps getting uglier.

I LOVE L.A.

I finally sat down Saturday night, and watched this so-called "masterpiece", Crash.
The film has an impressive cast, with excellent performances by all, and a gorgeous very haunting musical score. Who did the score by the way? Whoever it was, it was excellent. There were compelling tense and riveting scenes in the film, and I found myself being very involved in many of them.

That being said however, Crash is a deeply flawed picture, a movie trying to preach the ugliness of prejudices and racism, by focusing on several main characters over the course of one day in the city of Los Angeles, with stupid dialogue and way too many exaggerated moments. Yeah, this is my hometown mind you, a city I know well enough to know that many of the storylines in Crash are ridiculous and contrived. How these characters keep running into each other and how they all connect is really quite preposterous, and kind of insulting to this city. I mean really!

Ludacris, is mouthing off to his buddy about the injustices of being black, yet then has the nerve to go and carjack someone? PULEAZE! And he hits a Chinese immigrant smuggler? Absolutely ludicrous, if you pardon the pun. Sandra Bullock’s character screaming at the top of her lungs about her Latino locksmith being a thug and gang member, with the guy within clear earshot able to hear her go off like this? I think not man! I know of no one in L.A. who is brave enough to mouth off their prejudices this way! Matt Dillon runs into the very same black woman he fondled the night before during a search only to save her life in her overturned SUV the next day? U KIDDING ME??!! The Persian vandalized store owner plotting revenge on his Latino locksmith, that ends with a most laughable supposed shooting of a little girl and a very cheesy slow motion sequence complete with over the top acting? HOW REHEARSED! HOW CONTRIVED! HOW TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE AND UNNECESSARY! All this within the span of 36 f**kin’ hours?! Uh huh. Yeah, right. L.A. is not that exciting lemme tell you.

Crash asks us to suspend disbelief way too many times, and I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. It is a film that had potential, that needed to really focus on one or two crucial storylines, instead of trying to bring in this messy hodgepodge all at once. It is a movie that tries to say something, but in the end does not say a thing. It only makes racism and prejudices worse, by continuing to glorify and encourage this insidious type of behavior in its characters. How it could be nominated for so many Academy Awards is beyond my comprehension.

You want better superior films based in Los Angeles that are truly believable and gritty? Try Internal Affairs, Heat, or Training Day.

I hope writer/director Paul Haggis can perfect his craft in his next film and learn from the crucial mistakes made in his latest hyperbolic disaster of a film.

And the Oscar goes to...Brokeback Mountain.

If there’s any justice.

LONG, LONG, LONG.

An obscure and highly underrated Beatles' song off their now famous 1968 masterpiece,The White Album.

Written and sung by George Harrison, with all the other Beatles performing, except John Lennon! How about that?

A very quiet, but gorgeous song. It helps to turn up the volume a bit:





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OLYMPIC STUDS.

Some of my favorite hot athletic dudes from the Winter Olympics so far:

At the very top: Snowboarder Seth Wescott

Bottom Left: Speedskater Joey Cheek

Middle: Speedskater Chad Hedrick

Far Right: Alpine Skier Bode Miller

GO TEAM USA! YEEHA!

A BROKEBACK KIND OF VALENTINE'S DAY.

So, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I find that many gay men out there are blogging about how miserably lonely they are being single or how ignored they feel by the dudes they’re dating or truly in love with.

Ah yes...reminds me of a certain Oscar-nominated masterpiece, Brokeback Mountain. Shhh...don’t tell anyone, but I ran into an Academy voter’s DVD copy of the film and I got to see it again outside of my original trip to the theater back in December. Wow, upon a second viewing I truly realize what a great freakin’ film this truly is. The dynamic chemistry between Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) is enormously convincing and moving. I mean, really man!

I know there’s people out there who will not budge. Who will stand firm and refuse to go see this film. Extremely closed-minded straight men will stand firm against it till the day they die. Howard Stern himself, gave the film a rave review just last week, after being quite uncomfortable with the idea of having to sit through it. But he caved in, and said it was a great film that only reiterated the ridiculousness of the Right in trying to keep gays and lesbians from leading fulfilling romantic lives.

I got that other Oscar-nominated powerhouse film Crash from Netflix in my mail today. Let’s see how it holds up to the already impressive, successful, critically-acclaimed cultural juggernaut that is Brokeback Mountain.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

"Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it..." - Jack Twist.

C'EST LA VIE.

Ah yes, a post that actually reflects the name of this blog!

Do you ever wonder what the purpose of life is? What are we truly here for? At most, we’re given about eighty years (give or take) to accomplish certain tasks, and then we pass on to eternal rest, another dimension, reincarnation, or heaven/hell. Do you ever become aware of your magnificent miraculous existence, only to have it shattered by the realization of your certain aging and death?

Whatever your beliefs are, here we are, in this, the supposed third dimension. Breathing, walking, talking, doing our jobs, going to school, enjoying leisure time--that is, if you’re in the developed world. Others struggle tremendously to make ends meet, just to put food on the table or to have adequate clothing and shelter. So many alive today are poorer than we can possibly imagine.

Some of us come here to fulfill every possible dream, to become an entertainer, to serve others, to make a name for ourselves, or just to cruise on by with as little name recognition as possible. There are those whose actual purpose is to destroy, hurt, and cause mayhem. Certain people come to only suffer it seems, to be true martyrs, to inspire revolutions, changes, and to alter the course of history.

Albert Camus, the great French Nobel-prize winning author believed that life has its happy moments, but that they were merely temporary and that life is in the end meaningless due to our eventual deaths. Another French Nobel Prize winner, Jean- Paul Sartre claimed that humans were constantly trying to define their true roles in this most absurd world. Spanish philosopher José Ortega Y Gasset wrote extensive essays on the meaning of life too, contributing greatly to the theory of existentialism.

Is there a God after all? Or have we created this idea to appease our ultimate fear that we are alone in the end? It is hard at times to believe that all this incredible biodiversity came out of nowhere with no one to create it, that it merely just appeared, all in perfect order through the magic of evolution.

No one it seems, has ever been able to fully explain what the point of our existence really is. Perhaps there is no point, and we desperately try to waste away some time before we die, summed up best by the all-American catch phrase:

"Life’s a bitch, and then you die."

HORROR OF HORREURS.

Yes, this is me. After just having woken up today, or any other day for that matter.

This is what I look like. T'is the reason why I can't spend the night over with you boys. I would horrify just about anyone.


Thank you.

P.S. Feliz cumpleaños mamá. Dios te guarde y cuide siempre. Te quiero mucho. Happy B-Day mom. God keep and care for you always. I love you very much.

MAMA MIA LA TWISTED MADONNA!

I got jo brand spankin' new Madonna video right here ---> Sorry

When tha hell did Madonna become a freakin' circus act Olympic gymnast middle-aged contortionist human pretzel? It's astounding what this woman is now able to do with her body! She really emphasizes a healthy lifestyle by following an excellent diet and exercise. Guy Ritchie must love her in the sack man for all those creative positions she can mangle herself into.

Yes, it is amazing what at 47 years of age, this icon is able to do. Can't wait ta see what she's up to at 60. WOW.

WHERE U FROM VATO?

A little bit of a cultural rant on my part for tonight, which shouldn't matter in this supposedly educated and racially open-minded country of ours:

I have this argument with friends of mine all the time. The term Hispanic/Latino does not designate a race. It’s an ethnicity. Hispanic people come in all races. YES. We do. I tell them, "I am Hispanic, but my race is white." They always seem to look at me in disbelief, even though I am as pale as ghost for God’s sake. We happen to come in all kinds of colors and from different backgrounds, which is something I often find people are not aware of.

The traditional view is that a Hispanic/Latino is brown, and that we can be spotted a mile away when we look like J Lo or George López. While it’s true that a lot of Latinos do look this way, there are many of us who don’t fit the mold. Many of us have strong European, black, Jewish, Arab and even Asian roots! Like the United States, the countries south of our border have seen immigrants settle in from all over the world. The Native American Aztecs, Mayans, and Incas were joined by those raping and pillaging Spaniards (who themselves had strong Arab and Jewish blood), who in turn brought over African slaves, intermixed, and then other immigrant groups came after.

All those baseball players you see playing in the big leagues have strong native Caribbean and African genes, which is why many of them are so dark. An actress like Cameron Diaz is very white due to her Cuban/Spanish roots. Shakira and Salma Hayek have strong Arab genes, but are Hispanic ethnically because they were born in Spanish-speaking countries. Geraldo Rivera comes from a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother of all things! The president of Peru at one time was of Japanese descent. It was kinda funny to watch this very Asian-looking man (another crooked politician of course) speaking perfect Spanish. The typical Spanish last names like González, López, and Hernández are dead giveaways, but you’d be surprised how many Latinos actually have last names that don’t fit that mold, whether by birth, or as they used to do in Hollywood so often, which was to change their last names to sound more Caucasian.

So basically, I’m a mutt like most of us in existence today. An ethnically Hispanic white boy of Spanish, Mayan, and German descent born in the USA. The next time ya think you know what a Hispanic looks like, think again. I’m often confused as being just another white dude who couldn’t possibly know a word of español.

You’d be surprised.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Famous_Hispanic_Americans

MUSAK'S BIGGEST NACHT.

---From L to R: Jay-Z, Sir Paul McCartney, and Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington

The Grammy Awards tonight are still airing here on the West Coast. So far...

I liked the Madonna/Gorillaz opening number. She looked fantastic, but sounded kinda off. At least she’s never driven with a baby in her lap, which is why she still is the QUEEN OF POP MUSIC MISS THANG. Okay low blow on my part. Let’s face it though, Madonna could take a nap on stage and people would still get excited. She has what it takes to entertain still.

Kelly Clarkson of American Idol fame, was nicely rewarded for her work and sung beautifully during her performance of Because of You. She was crying uncontrollably when she won her first Grammy, but gave a nice acceptance speech for her second award.

I liked John Legend and his song, Jennifer Love Hewitt looked like a cheap tramp, Kanye West is annoying, and Mariah freakin’ Scarey is looking a bit chunky. And the size of her TATAS were purty impressive! DAYAM GIRL! DEM R SOME BIG JUGS! But the girl has always and can still undeniably sing.

U2 did a really cool version of their song One with a very interesting cover by Mary J. Blige who really infused the song with a lot of soul and heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was cool. And U2 won big tonight too. Their latest album was rewarded with five awards, including album and song of the year.

But of course, OF COURSE, the true highlight of the night for me, the one that had me giddy with uncontrollable excitement, was former Beatle, ex-Wingsman, brilliant songwriter, and all-around living legend: Sir Paul McCartney.

Ah yes, it was back in November of last year at the very Staples Center (where the Grammys were held tonight) that I saw MACCA, and he was in top form at tonight's awards show during his performance of one of his newer songs and his classic Beatles song: Helter Skelter. Sweet Jesus Amen. The man had the Grammy audience on its feet when he was done.

Rapper Jay-Z (wearing that awesome John Lennon/NYC shirt) and Linkin Park did their Encore/Numb collaboration song, and then went into a hip version of Yesterday which Paul McCartney then joined in on! HOLY MOSES!

Music to my ears...

ALLAH IS ANGRY.

As if the Muslim world wasn’t pissed of at the West already! Whose bright idea was it to print these freakin’ cartoons??!!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jyllands-Posten_Muhammad_cartoons_controversy

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/02/06/cartoon.protests/index.html

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/10705393/

Now, the Jews are gonna get spoofed or picked on, with a set of mocking the Holocaust cartoons from the Muslims:

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,10117,18066746-1702,00.html?from=rss

UGH! Religions are so petty aren’t they?

NO FEAR.

Well, the Super Bowl starts soon, and the only real interesting thing going for it would be the opening national anthem, the commercials, and the halftime show. For me, most of the freakin’ spectacle is quite a bore!

I usually don’t post to this blog on Sundays, but I feel the need to make an exception. I have been on a long hard struggle the past few years with my anxiety and ridding myself of this drug I’ve been on. I can’t lie, the drug has been wonderful and has helped me tremendously overcome lots of hurdles and negativity.

But in the end, my true goal is to be able to quit this thing one day for good. Today marks day three of not taking one single pill, and although I can pretty much manage to do this quite well when I don’t have to go to work, it’s when I am on the job that is the true test. Little things, like being the passenger in a car for an extended period of time, getting on a plane, or being amongst a large group of rowdy people can be a real challenge to my nerves.

It’s stupid really. Those of you free of panic attacks and useless negative thinking consider yourselves truly lucky and fortunate. Of course, you probably have a different set of problems that make up for mine huh? Life is cruel that way ain’t it?

I shall take comfort in that there is a God. Yes, I do believe so. I can do this. I can live a prescribed drug-free existence. I’ll do my best B.G. I really will. And if I fail this time again, it’s okay.

FDR said it best, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”

Right?

I NEED TO SHUT DOWN.

It’s Iran, and Israel, and Iraq, and when am I gonna go back to college, and when am I gonna get laid once again, and should I clear out all those boxes in the back of the office loaded with cases, and it’s time to get my car brakes checked, and I haven’t been to the gym all week lazy ole’ me, and my car does need to get washed, and the boy that works here is increasingly cute to me, and will I ever move out of my house and get a place of my own, and I wish I didn’t have to take that psychotropic med for anxiety anymore, and how sad that ferry sunk with 1,400 aboard, and I keep thinking about getting older and death even though I’m still young and what’s to look forward to in this world that only keeps getting more uncertain and tragic everyday it seems, and is my checkbook balanced, and why am I not in a truly successful intense relationship, and why am I not making at least $60,000 at this stage in my life being as talented as everyone else says I am, and there’s much more plaguing my fragile complex brain, but who gives a f**k anymore.

WHEW! It’s Friday.

And I need a drink.

YOU HEARD RIGHT, YOU'RE LISTENING TO KWAT RADIO!

THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THEY USED TO.

The beauty of our DVD age and Netflix (I can’t seem to say enough good things about it can I?) is that a lot of very old films are now digitally restored and available to view for a whole new generation. Videotapes could only go so far, and the quality of most films on tape was pretty awful. Worse still, was that a lot of old movies were not even available on tape.

Now that I’m a wee bit older, more mature hopefully, and more aware of how life works, I am trying to make an effort to watch really old movies, from Hollywood’s Golden Age. It’s like a new discovery for me, because growing up I really didn’t watch old movies, but what was current at the time. As a kid, the thought of watching anything in black and white was boring.

Well, not anymore! Just recently, I watched Bette Davis give an amazing performance in All About Eve. Heard about the film for years, but had never seen it. The film is a little outdated, but very interesting nonetheless. Even superior to that though, was my first viewing of a true classic: Sunset Blvd. Alls I can say is: WOW. Both All About Eve and Sunset Blvd. were released in 1950, but the latter is the very best out of the two for me.

Sunset Blvd. is dark, witty, creepy, disturbing, sad, and just plain entertaining. Seeing footage of Hollywood back in 1950 was utterly fascinating as I have navigated those very streets they mention in the movie dozens of times. William Holden was a very handsome man and a fine actor in this film, and Gloria Swanson as the troubled has-been actress Norma Desmond is nothing short of perfect in her role. I really really enjoyed this film, seeing it for the very first time fifty-six years later after its release. A biting, scathing, and tragic look at how the industry itself destroys the very people it helps to become stars from a brilliant director, Billy Wilder.

I shall be watching more and more of these old films as soon as I can get them. What strikes me most is that as wholesome as they say times were before the 1960's cultural revolution, Hollywood was already tackling some very serious dark issues in its movies way before.

I’m impressed to say the least, and while our movies today are much more realistic and technically superior, the old stuff is just as compelling and the beauty of these old pieces of celluloid lies in the attention given to the scripts. And who can forget that they are also laced with our glorious actors and actresses from yesteryear.

Lights! Camera! Action!

Hooray for Hollywood indeed.

THE GLORY OF LEARNING.

I hate being mortal and having to die one day for sure only because I do enjoy living tremendously, despite life’s pitfalls.

Aside from my appreciation for nature, animals, physical beauty, love, sex, food, film, music, laughter, or spending time with someone special, I think the one thing I find most amazing about life itself is learning.

LEARNING. I have always loved learning, and I continue to learn, not just from life’s experiences, but from all the facts that one can find out there. I guess that's why I enjoyed school so much and I miss college. I will go back...someday I hope.

The wealth of information is astonishing. That used to be confined to books really, which I have always loved, but with the Internet...WOW! Yes, aside from hours of viewing porn (LOL), I can also spend them constructively online enriching my noggin.

I love digging into famous people’s lives, and reading their biographies. I find it fascinating to learn about people who have already lived and either contributed something to the world or did nothing but help make it worse. Each life story is compelling, regardless.

Learning and being informed on current events like politics is something else I love. The political situation in the Middle East, the role of the United States as a great superpower, terrorism, and other issues are very very invigorating to my brain.

Religion too (although I hate how fundamentalistic it has become) is also a very interesting topic to make cerebral juices flow. Why do people so adhere to their beliefs, and why do wars continue to be waged due to them?

Death is another topic I am very drawn to. Why do we live a certain amount of time, slowly wither, get ill, then kick the bucket? What truly happens to us once we go?

Movie trivia is another one of my favorite things to learn about. Everything related to how a movie was filmed, what actors were in it, the director, producer, awards it may have won, critical reviews and such make for endless hours of intense and involved learning. Watching movies on DVD is very educational.

Other cultures and languages, historical events, authors, books, essays, atlases, almanacs, dictionaries...you name it. Thank you Wikipedia, PBS, Netflix, IMDB, Amazon, other people’s blogs, news websites, etc. for enriching my life with all this gorgeous treasure of info.

I truly will never cease to enjoy learning. Until the day I die.

I wish I had more time.

Damn.

CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!

I really did not get into American Idol until after the second season really, and while it’s great to see superstar talent like Kelly Clarkson come out of all of this, it’s the initial auditions that make the show for me.

The initial coast to coast auditions are just plain ridiculously hilarious! Simon Cowell, supreme asshole that he is, is remarkably funny in his directness towards bad or awful singers. Add the authentic British accent, and you’ve got the recipe for why the show is a tremendous success.

The latest season is no exception--the ratings prove the show is doing very well once again, and as Howard Stern and crew have rightfully stated, it’s Simon who makes the show. No question.

"You ah the whust singa I have eva hud."

"Yo singing is apole-ing."

"That was absolutely towchoous."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Ah Simon. And this season, he has been especially vicious towards the questionably gay or obviously overweight, prompting certain groups to protest and many articles on the show’s current mean streak.

I dunno, I myself find it funny, only because those auditioning put themselves in the situation to be ridiculed by claiming to be great and having an ego the size of Alaska. The really good or great singer is humble, no matter what they look or act like, and in turn, they aren’t mocked.

Last night’s episode was a riot, especially that preposterous skanky black girl with the major attitude going off after being correctly rejected. Ronetta was her name? AHAHAHAHAHA!

I haven’t yet watched tonight’s episode. I don’t TIVO, so I still had to use that outdated thing: the VCR.

NOT MADE IN THE U.S.A.

Aw man. This is bad, bad, bad, bad.

Ford cutting all these jobs and closing plants is not a good thing at all. For the employees, and for our country’s economy in general. Let’s face it, we are not the industrial giant we once used to be, and that is kinda sad and scary at times.

I mean, I own a Toyota myself only because they’re damn good reliable and gas-friendly/conscious little vehicles! Ta hell with an American car man, they have a really bad reputation at this point! Gas guzzling clunkers is what most of us see them as.

And to think, at one point, American cars were the envy of the whole world! The pride and joy of this country! All of our products were! Now where is all our stuff made? China, Taiwan, and anywhere else there’s cheap labor! It’s really quite shocking! Nothing is made in America anymore! What gives man?!

All this outsourcing really gets on my nerves. Last year, when I bought my Dell computer, I encountered some problems getting it correctly delivered, and instead of speaking to a representative in the States, I had to deal with people in India and the Philippines! I hate to be prejudiced, but dealing with those people and their accents halfway around the world really offended and insulted me as a customer.

And yet, our economy is still the world’s largest, most diverse, and technologically advanced. How is that, with everything being made and outsourced to other places?

Is this what they mean by us becoming a service economy?

I TOO, USED TO HAVE A REASON TO BELIEVE.

-----------------------------------------WAT, Spring of 1992.

http://www.lausd.k12.ca.us/North_Hollywood_HS/

DER UNTERGANG.

I have some sort of head cold/allergy and it’s annoying me.

A few weeks ago, I sat down and watched a very interesting movie about Adolf Hitler’s final days in his underground bunker before he, along with his longtime girlfriend then wife Eva Braun committed suicide. BLOODY COWARDS is what they were, seeing that they had lost the war and were going to face criminal prosecution and execution no doubt for their bloody awful crimes.

The film, called Downfall, had its moments, although at times I felt it went too darn slow, but it was effective in its portrayal of a man who nearly conquered the world, but in the end thankfully saw his demented psychotic ideas go to hell. The suicide of others surrounding Hitler like Goebbels and his wife and other Nazi high-ranking officials is pretty compelling as well.

What troubled me more in the film was that while Hitler actually seems human for about three seconds filled with fear and concern that his sick world domination plan is coming to an end, Eva Braun (his wife) shows hardly any concern or care in the world. Was she truly this clueless?

Let’s face it. For better or for worse (in this case worse) Adolf Hitler made an indelible mark on history. He was a shrewd skillful intelligent man, who managed to brainwash millions into adoring him and believing in him. I mean, we still talk about this madman today! Just the mere mention of his name arouses all kinds of opinions and sentiments from people.

Talk about making your mark on history! Hitler accomplished this, despite his negative behavior. Because of the Nazi regime, many industries in Germany and other technological ideas are still in use to this day! The Nazis, as evil as they were, actually accomplished some remarkable things.

Unfortunately, their atrocious deeds outweigh any constructive ideas they may have contributed to. The systematic murder of millions of Jews, Gypsies, mentally ill/handicapped, and gays is something for which Hitler and crew are unforgivable.

It’s too bad. The guy had potential to truly be a positive charismatic leader. And he sure was. With an appalling dark side that will never be forgotten.

Yes, you can change/alter the course of history negatively.

But why would you want to?

MAYBE NEXT TIME HEATH BABY!

The Golden Globe Awards were kinda boring last night, except for the fact that I watched them with some very funny gay friends.

I was happy to see Brokeback Mountain awarded for best film, screenplay, director, and song. However, I was kinda disappointed Heath Ledger did not win in the acting category and lost to Philip Seymour Hoffman who is a great actor himself. This sux because most gay men want to sleep with Ledger! LOL! How superficial!

Felicity Huffman was justly awarded for Transamerica and that was great to see as she does deserve it. Her role as a pre-op transsexual is mind-blowingly good.

The awards for television shows such as Lost and Desperate Housewives didn’t excite me much as I really don’t watch these programs. I really don’t watch regular TV at all anymore period. Maybe I’ll check these shows out sometime on DVD through Netflix or something.

And so Hollywood looks next to the Oscars.

I really thought Heath Ledger was a sure lock, but now Hoffman or Joaquin Phoenix look like the true winners of the Oscar itself.

We’ll see...

BRAIN OVERLOAD.

Let’s see. Codes/usernames/passwords I gotta remember:

–My ATM debit card secret code.

–My username/password for one program at work.

–Code/password for another program at work.

–Username/password for work email.

–Username/password for work Internet access.

–Password to log on to home computer.

–Username/password for four different email accounts on the regular Internet.

–Username/password for this blog.

–Username/password for the photo upload program I use for this blog.

–Username/password for the audio upload program I use for this blog.

–Secret code I use for the phone service for this blog.

–Email/password for my new subscription to Netflix.

–Email/password for Amazon.com

–Username/password for four different adult-themed websites I visit (ahem).

–Email/password for Apple.com/IPOD

I know I’ve missed others, but it’s just way too much for Christ’s sake! I wonder how it is I haven’t gone crazy! I try and use the same ones for many of the above, but still man! STILL!!!

I really hope I never get Alzheimer’s.

TODAY'S BLOG ENTRY SPONSORED BY:

I barely became a member of Netflix two weeks ago or so to ring in the new year, and so far I am loving this service! Whoever created this is a genius business entrepreneur who is probably now worth millions.

It’s really freakin’ cool! I’ve chosen a shitload of movies already to view--way more than I will get shipped to my home in a month and sit down and make time for to even watch, but it’s still purty awesome. I think I’ve got a whole year or so already covered!!!

How did I not sign up sooner man? Driving to Blockbuster, wasting time there looking for a film, not always finding what u want (especially their decent but still sorely lacking foreign film section) and spending all that money there is a hassle! On Netflix, the movies are amazingly presented, reviewed, explained, and navigating through the site is a breeze. The film selection is astounding. If other friends of yours are part of the service, u can share your movie lists and recommend films to each other and all kinds of neat stuff.

Thank you Internet. With Netflix, my life has now become truly more convenient as I am an avid movie buff.

Why read the book when you can watch the film?

BE FAIR MAN!

O.K.

This morning., my co-worker and I William, were being a little too loud laughing it up about the usual crude sex talk we usually have. All in good fun.

But, I was reported to my supervisor for disturbing the peace.

Bullshit. Yes, I was probably guilty of laffing it up a bit wee loud, but come on! Everyone here is guilty of talking, chitchatting, and laffing it up and I never ever complain!

Why try and ruin my party? Sometimes I wonder if it isn’t just envy. Lots of these women and men are married, frustrated, and have kids and crap. Is it their daily frustrations that has them f**kin’ picking on me?

I dunno. Words were exchanged, and at one point I got very upset and started cursing real bad at this one Russian/Armeynian PUTA I got into it with. I’m not proud of myself when I get that angry, but JAYSUS MAN, I am human and it just upsets me when people are hypocrites about this kinda sh*t.

If this were a library and I were the only jackass stirring up trouble, I would understand. But I’m not.

The Armeyneeans get together constantly to speak in their language, live it and laugh it up quite good, and I never ever bitch at them.

But I did today.

UGH.

I’m so much better than this. I really am…what is a talented scrub like myself still doing here???

LOSER!

YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION?

How neat is this?

Howard Stern, my favorite morning crude vulgar psycho debuted finally on Sirius Satellite Radio this very morning. It was kind of weird hearing him on paid radio for the first time actually. He does curse more, and I’m sure he will still keep the show as edgy as always without the freakin’ FCC on his back anymore.

Trying to set up for Sirius Radio was a battle though. I waited till the very last minute, till yesterday to look for a receiver. I don’t know how many Best Buys, Circuit Cities, and Targets I went to, but I finally got this one. I had no such luck finding the home kit though, so I had to order it on Amazon.com. Apparently, Sirius Satellite Radio does not work like regular radio, you have to get all kinds of attachments/accessories to be complete. It’s a way to make money of course. And installing and setting the whole thing up takes a bit of time and can be a hassle.

So for now, I got the thing hooked up in my car, which is better than nothing. In about two weeks, my backordered home kit should arrive and I can finally listen to it at home, or at work.

That is, if the antenna is strong enough to get reception at work. At least they re-broadcast the Stern show at nights in case I miss it in the morning.

This is strange way cool technology in its very infancy.

FANTASTIC. ****

I have seen an astonishingly amazing film last night, Transamerica.

WOW!

Felicity Huffman from Desperate Housewives, gives one hell of a performance and Kevin Zegers is one hot fuckin’ dude. I remember good ole’ Kev from the Dawn of the Dead remake. Mmmmmm...

Funny and touching, this is one film surprise I am glad to have seen. I almost did not make it, but my co-workers convinced me to go last night, and I am so glad to have caught this witty poignant movie.

An Oscar for Ms. Huffman please. She's that good.

???

What in God's good and holy name is this guy's problem?!

WHAT A TOTAL ASS! UGH!!!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060105/ap_on_re_mi_ea/iran_israel_sharon_1

SPARE ME!

I went to the family viewing/wake yesterday. I felt so out of place after not seeing most of these people (extended family and friends) in years and years. And it certainly isn’t comfortable being my age and still not married, whilst most of them are and have kids up the wazoo. No offense, I know us homos come from heterosexuals of course, but sometimes I resent straight people. There they were, a bunch of my half brothers and sisters and cousins sharing their kids’ pics. I felt lonely really.

I resent them being so closed-minded at times. So judgmental. So unforgiving. So proud of their marriages and kids. I know it’s not easy being human period, but it’s so much harder being gay. It sucks sometimes. Why must everyone get married and have kids? Is it some God damn rule that everyone has to follow? I resent this very much. Why do others care so much about my or then again, anyone else’s personal life? Why must they be aware of to whom I’m giving my penis to??!!!

I know it sounds crude, but that’s what people always wanna know. Whom you’re schtooping. SICK REALLY.

I oughtta just hold a coming out party one day and invite all these extended family bastards and just blurt it out one day, "Hey, I’m gay, and y’all either accept me or EF OFF."

They all suspect or pretty much know I’m sure, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling very out of place amongst them.

I wonder if anyone else knows what I’m talking about?

AND THE NEW YEAR TAKES OFF.

Okay.

I did nothing but lounge around today and watch tha Rose Parade. It rained and rained and rained and I felt so bad for the marching bands and people that had to go down the five-mile route, but they were all excellent sports and put on the best show.

Back to work tomorrow and I have to go to my half sister’s wake in the evening. I hate reality, but I must confront it and see lots of relatives and people I have not encountered in many many years. It’s gonna be weird. Real weird.

Are we to believe what these people are forecasting/predicting for 2006? Particularly of concern is possible massive quakes in San Francisco. GULP!

Very very interesting and worth the read:

http://www.coasttocoastam.com/shows/2006/01/01.html#recap

TWO THOUSAND SIX ANNO DOMINI.

Oh my God! A whole brand spankin’ new year! Hello 2006!

Seems like just yesterday Cleetus, we weres alls worried about the millennium, the year 2000, Y2K, and now look at how far into the decade we are! HOT DIGGITY DAMN!

So I did a little champagne last night at the Madrid Theater where they had a decent Beatles tribute show to ring in the new year, complete with party favors and such. The guy who plays Ringo was absolutely dead on and his drumming was first rate. I was most impressed with him actually. Who knew?!

The Rose Parade interestingly, isn’t until tomorrow morning this year. And it might freakin’ rain! EEK!

Anywhozitz...

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY! LIVE IT WELL.