I have known Jay for about six years.I met him when I first started my sucky office job back in 2001. He worked there too. An older handsome Latino lad I must say in his early fifties. Very friendly. Originally from El Salvador (like my family) and very intelligent. Good deep voice. Always homophobic though. Yes, that always did bother me because I guess he had no idea whom he was befriending. We would always talk at work, and even hung out several times outside of the office. About three years ago or so, Jay moved from the office to another shithole closer to his new home and I have been keeping in touch with him once in a while over the phone. I genuinely like Jay, but it was and is very hard to talk to someone who does not know my sexual orientation, especially such a royally staunch strict "straight" dude.
Well, Friday night, he called me out of the blue and told me he would be hanging out a food joint in my area and to stop on by to visit him. So I did. I had more in mind however; I felt it was time to tell him the truth. But how? HOW??!! Who gives a fuck right?! I have nothing to lose anymore, so I had to do it. I went to see him, and he was very happy to see me again. I could not believe how amazingly handsome he looked. Yeah, I won't lie, I was very attracted to him at that point. He shared some of his grub with me, a beer, and began to chat away about his sexual escapades with the ladies.
I got to see his new BMW, and then I proceeded to share some marijuana with him in a secluded spot nearby in his car. He seemed cool to smoke out a bit and turned up the Van Halen. He kept telling me how this one specific woman in his life was giving him drama, and this is when I seized the moment to tell him about my attraction to men. He looked horrified, almost disgusted. He says he never would have guessed nor knew at all; poor man kept fidgeting/slurring and didn't know what to do with himself. I told him I had to end the night in order to meet up with a friend. He still seemed baffled and I think his high wore off quick. He told me he wasn't being judgmental and that this didn't change anything between him and I, but that's what they all say.
I'm willing to bet that this is the last time I ever hear from or see Jay again.
16 comments:
Fuck it man true friends will stick with you (not stick it in you) no matter who you are. Same holds true for family. you know me, you know pretty much everything about me and besides all that we iz still family. I love your fagget ass( not literally) just like you love my crazy ass( again not literally)like I say fuck it dog take it or leave it. I got your back no matter what.
Congrats, but what a buzz kill- too bad you didn't tell him before the pot. Poor paranoid SOB. Hope your later escapade was more satisfactory.
I'm so sorry, that is one sucky situation. Why do people make such a big deal out of sexual orientation anyway? I've never completely understood it.
I would LOOOOOVE to be on Will and Grace but I'd rather be Karen than Grace, Grace always annoyed me and Karen is one of the funniest TV characters in recent memory. Ooh, and I would want Jack by my side 24/7. Just Jack 2007!
Not worth it if Jay doesn't accept you for YOU. Good for you for telling him, but if he's not man enough to accept you for who you are, then fuck it. I love ya!
Well, you never know... Jay might be smarter than that ! I hope anyway. Otherwise, well, too bad. You're too handsome to be bothered by jerks, let alone homophobic former co-workers ! ;)
I've always find it weird when you suddently discover that a friend doesn't share - or at least respect - your core belief. I mean, I'm open minded, but I'd be shocked to learn someone I hanged out with voted for the Nazy party or whatever. Yet, deep down, you know the person is a good person, just taking the wrong path or being narrow-minded...
I'm sorry, sweetie, that you were on the receiving end of his discomfort after learning the truth. I may not be able to relate to the lifestyle because I was born straight... but I'm certainly not going to miss out on knowing a terrific person because of their orientation. That would totally be my loss and pretty stupid.
I think you're amazing.... I don't care who you're attracted to. I just want you to be happy.
Did you say something like, "You know I like guys, right?" or more of a, "Yeah, I had a similar situation with this guy I was seeing..." The second is more my style. It irrevocably states I'm gay without making a deal about it. If the other person then makes a deal out of it, it makes them the asshole. It really shouldn't be a big deal.
You were 100% right to be honest and F him (not in a good way) if he doesn't get it. He's lucky to have you as a friend. Give it time...you never know, people can surprise you.
He's not worth your time if he isn't okay with who you are. The funny thing is that he never suspected it and was in shock.
That's just proof that people are who they are and the way they go sexually has nothing to do with the person inside.
Maybe the weed made him a little paranoid. His homophobia has nothing to do with you, more likely it has to do with HIM. Everyone knows "homophobia is so GAY".
I wouldn't be surprised if he decided he wanted to see more of your cute Mug now more than ever.
That's sad, but at the same time, if someone who is supposed to be your friend can't handle the truth about who you are, well, it's better not to hang out. Friends are friends because they accept who we are. We shouldn't have to hide and keep secrets as important as sexuality from people who supposedly care about us.
You could be surprised, ya never know~
Sorry I have been away for so long, im back kinda.
i have a confession, I am straight.
Your timing is interesting--I've never come out to someone who could be high at the time. I've come out over a beer though.
I try real hard to set the tone for these important discussions.
yeah, you never know. hopefully you will be pleasantly surprised. good on you for telling him, especially when stoned
;0o
It shouldn't matter which way you come out to a person, it's only your response to THEIR response that matters...
You are an amazing guy and I'm having difficulty understanding why ANYONE would necessarily change just because you're a big homo (kidding). Guys... especially straight guys, have that inherent fear when they find out because they themselves automatically think about having sex with you right there on the spot. They're almost afraid of getting aroused for a hot second...
Deep, intelligent straight men will probably feel weird for the first two minutes, but then get over it quickly and continue the relationship. Closet-walking STRAIGHT GUYS will run the opposite direction and never call you again. He will go home and masturbate with you in mind though... even if he's trying his damnest to think of tits and pussy...
Besos
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