No Palm Springs for this New Year's weekend. My BFF's boyfriend is really sick and cannot host us. I'm a bit bummed, but I'll live.It's too bad 2009 did not end on a truly high note for me. The year started off decently, and has emotionally gone downhill the last few months. So it goes. Life is tough sometimes. I sure damn wish none of us had to suffer or shed tears, but we must bear our circumstances and ask for strength and patience sometimes. My depression/anxiety can be strong. I feel worthless. Unloved. A failure. Super unmotivated. I just wish someone would hold my hand or give me a real strong hug and say, "It's gonna be alright." And truly mean it. And then take my hand and guide me as to what to do next. For I can be weak when making certain decisions and taking control.
But ya see, I'm not worthless. I do have value. Tremendous worth as a good awesome citizen of this world! And I'm not unloved, for I know I do have people who care! And I'm not a failure, because I have survived this long, and still truly believe within my soul that my true greatness is yet to come! I have never achieved anything in life right away or instantly. I've always had to patiently wait until the light bulb goes off in my head to tell me it's time to go for the gold. SO NO DAMN IT! I SHANT give up on my own greatness, on my true potential, on my abilities to love and be loved! NO SIREE! For I hold a candle for 2010 to be the breakthrough year for WAT! No more tears! No more fears! Risks aplenty! And joy abundant! I will conquer as much as I possibly can. Please root for me, send me good vibes, pray, or wish it so. I need all the positive energy I can get.
To ye reading these words, thanks again for stopping by, and most especially to those of you who comment. I truly appreciate you visiting this blog about a simple guy like me, living in this great plastic cesspool of Los Angeles, CA.
A really great song about another year gone by with wonderful YouTube images, done by the now defunct and once brilliant group from Spain, Mecano. Happy New Year everyone:
6 comments:
Go for it, baby! You are on fire, and you are, and always will be, the original technicolor boy. Onward into 2010! Never forget that you are loved. -- Richard
Well keep your chin up WAT and remember hope springs eternal. (whatever that means exactly). Sorry you won't be in Palm Springs for NYE. I'll be in Pasadena actually! hope you can watch the Rose Parade Friday morning...look for the float with the skateboarding bulldog.
I am glad I popped in when I did Will. Geeze, I am sorry you have been down, but I have seen (read) you when you were up too....so I know all is possible AND you are so SMART and SEXY!. Yeah, and sexy too!
I am ALWAYS rooting for you! xoxo
You are certainly not worthless and have value ye good awesome citizen of this world! You are right, life is tough sometimes. That is a sucky reality but it is also brilliant and magnificent. It comes in waves. I don't think you are helping yourself by searching for greatness. Greatness is something best viewed in hindsight. I suggest working towards happiness and taking control.
I am sending you oodles of good energy.
A sincere and tremendous hug for you and "It's gonna be alright". I am positive, because I have great faith in you. Happy New Year sweetie. Love you.
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