IT'S WINTER, BUT I GOT DONNA SUMMER ON MY MIND.

Can someone please explain to me when Apple is going to stop marketing YET ANOTHER one of their "must-have" trendy products? Now it's the iPad?! This is starting to get ridiculous. Yeah, I got an iPod back in 2004, but then came the six billion upgrades which I never kept up with, then came the iPhone and its upgrades, and now we got Steve Jobs shoving this new iPad down our throats. ANYTHING to get us to spend our hard-earned money on a gadget that none of us really need! Greedy American capitalism rears its ugly head yet again. And of course, the masses will buy this piece of junk and make more money for this company! BALONEY!

So I always knew Donna Summer was pretty popular back in the day, but I had no idea just how truly remarkably BIG and influential she was, and quite a sexy bitch too! Girl sold lots and lots of albums and had four #1 singles! Not bad Donna, not bad at all! Upon reading her bio, I learned she went to Europe early on in her career, and lived in Germany for quite some time! Her last name was originally Gaines, but she married some Austrian dude last-named Sommer, so she Anglicized it to what we now know her as today. Her first major album was recorded in Europe, and her first hit single was "Love to Love You Baby", which was considered shocking at the time because it featured Donna moaning and groaning as if in sexual ecstasy. Her single, "I Feel Love", is considered by many a landmark song that influenced many artists. And well, the rest is history as Donna came out with her other famous hits such as "Last Dance", "Hot Stuff", "Bad Girls", and that very famous duet with Barbra Streisand. Donna deservedly earned her eternal title of "The Queen of Disco." She could definitely sing; those were some powerful pipes.

So let's imagine those bygone days of that hedonistic disco palace Studio 54, and we're really hot and they allow us in to dance the night away:

IN SIXTY YEARS, IT WILL BE THE YEAR 2070.

Hey, where are all your comments good people? I've got a terrible case of wanting to sleep all day and staying up all night! YEESH MAN! Is my depression this bad?! Like right now, I should be asleep, but here I am typing away, wide awake eating Doritos! LOL!

I watched this movie made in 1951 called A Place in the Sun, starring the gorgeous Montgomery Clift, who was 29 years old at the time. MAMA MIA MAN! Montgomery was just so damn hot. I missed out meeting him! He had a terrible drinking and alcohol problem sadly. Anyway, I've discussed Monty before, but I can't get over what a hunk this fool was. The movie also starred Liz Taylor--she was only about 17 years old at the time! WOW! Liz looked stunning; the woman was born with good genes. Not so stunning in her role was Shelley Winters. LOLOLOL! I suppose that was the point, but STILL! And then it hit me. This film was made almost sixty years ago, which means most of the people who worked on it, or were IN IT, are DEAD. MY GOD. Liz is still around thankfully, but it really brings home the true brevity of life. Yes, in about sixty years, most of us will be dead, or barely alive! It is said that Liz Taylor had recently found out her dad was a homo, and that from that moment on, she took to getting along with gay men fabulously, including Montgomery Clift. We love Liz, our beloved living legendary FAG HAG.

Betty White got a lifetime tribute at the SAG Awards on Saturday, and here's a girl that knows how to keep on going, even after 60 years in show business! WOW! CONGRATS TO THIS AMAZING LADY! I have a feeling, that Betty will be the only Golden Girl left standing, because I recently heard poor Rue McClanahan had a minor stroke. Rue is now 75, and her health has not been too good; meanwhile Betty just turned 88 years young and is still acting up a storm! I wish Rue a speedy recovery--ya know losing Estelle and Bea in the last two years has really been hard, because I grew up with that show, and to see these ladies pass away is kind of sad. Alas, that's the way the ball bounces, but I don't want to think about youth, vitality, and life itself being so temporary...

To Rue:

I REALLY WANNA GO TO THE CAPITOL NOW.

My chiropractor showed me my X-rays on Monday, and said my neck has slight scoliosis! I gotta lower my left shoulder a bit more and correct my posture. Doc says I gotta stand tall and proud! When I was going to the gym, my posture sure did improve, but I haven't been inside one of those foreign places in like forever! Oh, and these recent visits to the chiro are due to my car accident last month--my brother's law firm has ordered me to go and get therapy as often as possible. We wanna make some money off the insurance okay? AHEM. Besides, I truly did suffer whiplash, and my poor car was dented, and the radiator was f*cked up, and yada, yada, yada...

Wait just a minute here. HOLD YOUR HORSES FOLKS. Who tha hell is Aaron Schock you ask?! Just when I couldn't keep my drool in over recently elected handsome Scott Brown to the Senate , now I read about this Aaron guy who is only 28 years old and is a member of the House of Representatives?! I gotta say, Congress is slowly but surely going to be taken by sexually attractive men! LOL! A STRAIGHT WOMAN'S/GAY MAN'S DREAM! A clip right here of Aaron if you wanna see this little dork geek stud. He is the youngest member of Congress. WOW. He sounds kind of gay doesn't he? Hey Aaron, you'd be perfect for me. Even though you're a Republican. I forgive you. I'm not the greatest cook, but I'm competent. And I'm smart, funny, and damn good in bed! I'm almost trilingual too!

I hear this song on satellite radio all the time. I really like:

PAST MID-JANUARY ALREADY?!

I think James Cameron is going to topple his previous blockbuster Titanic, with his latest film, as biggest grossing movie of all time. And yet, I still haven't made time to go see AVATAR! DARN! When adjusted for inflation though (since movie tickets are much more expensive now), the greatest money-making film of all time is Gone with the Wind. That's right Ashley Wilkes!

It's too bad the Massachusetts Senate race to take over the late Ted Kennedy's vacant seat is probably going to be won by a Republican. Not that the Democrats are any better, but at least they tend to be more liberal and open-minded. It's between this woman Martha Coakley and Scott Brown. Now lemme tell ya something though--the problem is, I am profoundly attracted to Scott Brown, the Republican. Have ya seen this guy?! SO VERY HANDSOME! A STUD! GIMME A WOLF WHISTLE OR TWO! He's in his early fifties, but damn does he look good. Anyway, they're holding the special election today. The hot dude looks like he'll win--no doubt a lot of superficial people will go for his looks. I'm so glad I'm not at all like this. LOL! I think he used to model when he was younger, and I can see why. Wonder if Scott might not even be a closet homo? Hmmm...

There was a pretty strong quake that hit Guatemala and El Salvador yesterday, but luckily there was no major damage. EEK MAN! After what has happened in Haiti, I think the seismic areas of the world are on major alert and on edge, not excluding those of here in Los Angeles. GULP! I've been watching tons of live earthquake footage on YouTube, just to prepare myself for when one of these monsters hits again. The trick ya see, is to not panic. DO NOT PANIC. PANICKING AND RUNNING LIKE CRAZY IS ONE OF THE MAJOR REASONS PEOPLE DIE. Ya gotta stay put and react as calmly as possible, despite the fact the ground beneath ya is shaking violently. Ironically, it was just this past weekend, that we had that big Northridge quake in 1994. 16 years since that fateful early morning! Our old house shook like hell back then, but I was half asleep! LOL! We were lucky to personally not have had damage or been injured, but many were not so fortunate.

Here is a hilarious vulgar reaction to a pretty strong moderate quake in Costa Rica last year. These are two native-born Americans living there doing this show live when all of a sudden:

WHERE IS HAITI?

WOW. HAITI. What a mess!

This earthquake could not have happened to a more undeserving place. They're already poor and f*cked up, and now THIS?! YEESH MAN! It's just sad. So very sad, but I think it's nice to see the world come together to send as much help as possible. It sucks that it takes something so catastrophic to unite us as human beings, but alas, that is our nature. I found a good page of where we can all donate money and stuff right here. Yeah, time to step up right? At work, I had to play geography teacher to some of my co-workers who had no idea where Haiti is on a map. UGH! "Now this is Florida, that's Cuba, Jamaica, here is the island of Hispaniola shared by Haiti and the Dominican Republic, and there's Puerto Rico." I mean, come on people-- learn your Caribbean island nations okay? LOL. I have a monumental clip right here of the quake as it happened. Man, these things are powerful, and I fear and pray for the ground beneath my own feet.

Jay Leno sucks! HE SUCKS! I've never liked him. Completely unfunny and a horrible interviewer and his show at 10p.m. has failed miserably, prompting NBC to give him back The Tonight Show at his old time slot. What is very unfair about this whole deal is the loser in all of this is Conan O'Brien, who ACTUALLY IS funny and charming. Jay Leno needs to go period, and leave Conan his new show okay, but it looks as though NBC is going to really screw him over. The real winner and the one laughing all the way to Nielsen ratings gold is David Letterman. His show has definitely benefited from this whole entire late night mess. I like David a lot, Conan rocks, Kimmel's okay, and I guess that Scottish guy is kinda funny too (although the brogue drives me a bit crazy), but LENO is just plain bad, a dullard, a BORE. UGH. My Hungarian bud in Hollywood would so agree. :) KEEP CONAN YOU STUPID ASSHOLES. Thank you.

I have a three-day weekend! HOOOOOOORAY! Yeah, my workload has increased, I need all the time away from there as possible.

The year: 1969!!! George Harrison gives us this masterful beautiful song Something, with his very famous little band The Beatles:

ALIENS, DRUGS, AND FORESKIN?!

I've been sleeping fine, except most of my desire to do it comes during the daytime! EEK! I'm nocturnal, which really conflicts with work and my other sun-loving friends, LOL!

I watched the amazingly interesting film, District 9 on DVD. The special effects and visual presentation of this movie are EXCELLENT. You can't take your eyes off the screen--never a dull moment. At times it is disturbing, violent, and very gritty--a social commentary on the stupidity of humanity. That it takes place in South Africa is quite fascinating too. There are major plot holes in the picture however. I don't wanna give it away, for I want you guys to check it out, but definitely worth seeing. And by the way, if that is what Johannesburg is really like, no thanks! What a shitty human cesspool! We got poverty and human trash here in L.A too but it does not even come close to some of these Third World nightmare cities. Cities are such a Western concept, and I'm not sure if everyone can handle them! LOL!

I am regular listener of The Howard Stern Show on satellite radio, and was shocked and upset to hear recently that Howard's on-air regular sidekick Artie Lange is under major psychiatric treatment for a serious suicide attempt over the holidays. Artie is a fat lovable funny slob with a terrible drug addiction problem, namely heroin. It's like that celebrity rehab show with Dr. Drew I've been kinda sorta watching on VH-1. These people in entertainment have been fortunate to make it in the business and have great high-paying careers I could only dream of for now, and yet they get lost with destructive hardcore drug abuse! I just don't get it, and it's quite sad. Artie didn't just try to overdose or slit his wrists, he actually stabbed himself! YIKES! All the best to him and I hope he's able to rid himself forever of those terrible demons.

Davey Wavey is Canadian, very gay, and quite funny:

TWENTY TEN.

Ladies and gentlemen, the first blog post of 2010! Despite some current personal hardships, this is going to be a RAD year okay?! Even if it is Armageddon Week on the History Channel. LOLOLOL!

So, I'm sure you've all heard of by now about the world's tallest building! It's in Dubai, and this thing is gigantic! BEHEMOTH! MONSTROUS! Not even the Death Star comes close! Okay, okay I'm exaggerating a bit, but MY GOD MAN! The late great World Trade Center in New York was tall enough, but this thing is just egregious! The irony is this skyscraper was designed by Americans, but now stands in that patch of desert over there yonder in tha Middle East. It has tons of residential space, which I think is a first? Who's even gonna live there anyway?! Take a look at this footage right here. A view from the very top. I can't stand it. My acrophobia is too much. It is marvelous what humans can do ain't it? Dubai however, is facing financial woes and the structure may remain empty for a good while. Not even God himself can...OOPS! Nevermind. I'll just keep my mouth shut and avoid cursing the building. HA.

And then I run into this news article which shockingly states:

--A new biography of the film star Warren Beatty claims that he has been to bed with 12,775 women. The author adds, usefully, that the figure 'does not include daytime quickies, drive-bys, casual gropings, stolen kisses and so on'.

Warren Beatty is a slut. A MAN WHORE. He should be ashamed of himself. But then again, I've been to bed with %^%*^%$^%#^%$@@$!!! You got that right! Listen, it's the curse of being good-looking and famous! I understand Warren completely. He just had it going on when he was young and probably has a big schwanz. And so do I. LMAO! Funny though because, I don't want any of it anymore. It'd be nice to settle down and find that one true love. That sleeping around sh*t gets old and it's not healthy nor something to truly be proud of anyway. Honest. Why the love bug has suddenly bit me I don't know, but I don't wanna get old and end up alone. That would suck. It really would. Looks fade. I won't be the most handsome man in Los Angeles forever. HAHAHAHAHHAAH! COUGH!

Here's to love...and even bigger skyscrapers. HEE.