LET THE GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN.

This is one depressing lonely place for a decent relationship I'm afraid; if you're a gay man that is. The dudes in this town are highly superficial: gym bod, tan, and a career in modeling/entertainment are required, or else you're less than trash. And THOSE jocks are quite lonely themselves too, because who can stand being around a narcissist anyway right?! The really hot ones also tend to have the personality and sex skills of a sea urchin anyway. BORING! Yes, I'd like a handsome good-looking one myself with a nice face, decent body, and fresh breath/nice teeth, but I can accept a few imperfections here and there okay? UGH. I dunno man. I used to be liberated and carefree and did not care about settling down, until HE happened to me, and it's been all downhill ever since then. WHAT HAPPENED?! Is this what becoming mature is supposed to be like? I've actually grown tired of the casual sex and one-night stands?! ME?! OMG! THIS IS MADNESS! ARGH! What I really don't understand is how people can get into and out of relationships effortlessly like changing a song on their iPod. It's pretty amazing and quite frankly, I don't know how that even happens. Aren't you supposed to feel giddy feelings of being in love? Isn't that supposed to happen very rarely? I guess I don't fall that easily and don't feel that spark often at all. I must be damaged. I'm starting to lose hope. At least in L.A. In other more REAL places, I'm sure I would have found a cool hottie long ago. But dating here? A NIGHTMARE. I have no problem getting laid, but no one seems to fall madly in love with me. This makes me a bit sad and I feel very inadequate quite frankly...

Some two weeks ago, the tooth pain I was experiencing was driving me up the wall. I had to get my first ever root canal. How come no one told me that it took so long to get one done?! ARGH! Thank God my dentist is one cool awesome dude with very soft delicate hands. Anyway, I'm glad he killed the nerves and the pain has gone away. I have a temp crown for now as they manufacture my new permanent one in a lab somewhere. I'm getting new glasses soon too, after a long lengthy annoying eye exam last week. I'd been sporting this cool facial hair scruff recently, but I'm tired of having to trim and maintain the grass so I pretty much got rid of it tonight. I look five years younger already! Been doing push-ups and stuff to get some exercise into my life, and although I'm looking nice and more toned as of late, I'm still pretty thin and not meeting L.A. standards on muscle. WHY SHOULD I EVEN BUY INTO ALL THIS PHONY IMAGE BALONEY RIGHT?! Damn I'm lonely, so very lonely...

I can't get this song out of my head as of late. She's finally really grown on me I tells ya: