Well.There he was, the former governor of New Jersey, Jim McGreevey, on Oprah last week spilling his guts (albeit very uncomfortably), about his secret gay life and how it all blew up once the Israeli lover he had threatened to ruin his marriage and career. McGreevey says he had no choice but to come out of the closet and resign, as you may remember some two years ago. They kept showing his wife staring at him while he was at that podium giving his resignation speech back in 2004 and you could swear her eyes almost look demonic and distraught at the same time.
I watched the interview, and thought it was fascinating. Oprah was pretty direct and scored quite the guest. She had some of the highest ratings in her show's history. I sensed most of the women watching in the audience were quite upset and disgusted at Jim's secret life while married, especially when it came to all the gory details of his visiting of alleys, adult bookshops, and even the back of a synagogue to have anonymous hot hardcore gay sex. He even brought out his current male lover whom McGreevey says he has found complete peace and contentment with.
I found Jim to be pretty honest, and trying his best to explain the utter hell that his life was in trying to hide his sexual orientation by having married twice and having two daughters. As he stated on Oprah, he came from a strict Catholic background, wanted to rid himself of the homo tendencies as much as possible, and loved political office and felt there was no way he'd be accepted unless married and family-oriented. Although I do not agree with toying with women's emotions in order to hide your secret, I can understand societal, family, and personal pressures some guys still to this day feel to not admit they're gay and which compel them to establish relationships with women. It was worse in the old days, and should at least be easier nowadays to come out.
Remember Ennis dudes. Yeah, Ennis Del Mar from Brokeback Mountain. Look at Jim McGreevey. Trying to deny that ya like ta smoke pole or pack the fudge is the worst thing possible. Yeah, it ain't easy to admit it either, but the rewards and heartache of just accepting your true desires goes a long way in becoming a complete and honest human being.
Yeah, society will probably not fully accept us for a while (if ever fully), but strides have and continue to be made.
Till then, if you're queer dear and here,
Try and get used to it.
3 comments:
Thank you for the encouraging words you left on my blog!
This is an amazing story. It shows how far we are willing to bend ourselves because of pressure, whether it's from religion, society, family, our job, friends... I'm glad he finally accepted his truth, although it was painful for his family and himself, ultimately it is the most rewarding path, at least I imagine it is.
I actually thought Oprah was way hard on him and the women in the audience seemed to be chomping at the bit to draw and quarter him. As a straight woman with THREE gay ex boyfriends...I didn't understand the level of malevolence. I can't begin to know the struggle homosexuals of McGreevey's generation and prior have gone through. Hopefully today it's getting better for someone to come out and not feel obligated to live a lie, but precisely because I do NOT understand the turmoil that must cause a person, I didn't find myself reacting in anger or hatred when my former boyfriends came out to me. Granted...I wasn't married to any of them and to my knowledge none of them were so shitty as to cheat on me, but somehow I find it hard to believe that all 100-plus womeon in that audience had ever even experienced dating or marrying a closeted man - so what were they so worked up about? Sorry, I ramble. It just pissed me off.
Anyway. What do I know?
I didnt get a chance to see him on Oprah but I did see him on Larry King.
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