ADIOS TWO THOUSAND SIX.

Well, they let Saddam's feet swing and he is no more. What a gruesome horrid way to go. There is no year 2007 for you!

For those of us still fortunately here, the end of another year makes me and many I'm sure, very nostalgic and melancholy. I have been through a lot this year, but alas, I survived and am thankful for how truly blessed I am. Every day is a true gift, even those days that challenge my sanity.

I want to thank all my fellow bloggers and loyal readers for coming to this little blog and taking yer time to read my words. That means a lot. And your comments are very cool too. I read them all, sometimes two or three times, and let them just sink in.

A shout out:

-To Bill, you've got a great photographic eye and you're a nut, love ya!

-To La Luna Negra, yer blog needs more updates, but you will forever be my friend no matter what. Since junior high bitch.

-To Brad, yer political pro-Democratic blog makes my brain juices flow. Keep up the good work!

-The Dawg, my favorite pervert whom I wish commented more on here.

-La Siciliana, what happened girl? I miss thee!

-Dave in Aussieland, whose blog has no real description other than unique!

-To Mario, you strike me as a sweet nice dude with a strong purpose in this world.

-Mikey, who has brought tremendous important attention to HIV issues and lives life to the fullest.

-To Sebastien, a cool young dude who has a bright future ahead of him, a terrific sense of humor, and artistic talent.

-G-man, whose love of gadgets, music, photography, and his nephews never ceases, till the end of the world...

-Todd, may all your bloody gory violent Asian film dreams come true and may all yer hot models grace yer bed one day.

-To Mark and his optimistic fun nightclub-style blog that makes me escape the everyday strain of the world.

-Scotty, who lost his mind years ago and is most entertaining with a blog that is beyond bizarre but still highly informative! Disney would be proud!

-M-Filer, you political pop culture whore! You rock! A Madonna-style headstand I dedicate to you.

-Loco Eddie, you strike me as a hot good-looking dude with a big smart brain and good heart. Love from LA to NYC.

-To Pooch, you know how I feel about you. Hasta la muerte...

-My new bud Scot, smile and smile and smile ma friend! Hedwig on stage has to be better and I believe you.

-Darci, who sings her heart out and enjoys my company whenever I see her, bless you and Wifey in 2007.

-Alice, always fond of our times at the old shitty job and love for the Fab Four. Thanks for addicting me to Dawson's Creek. LOL!

-Big D, my big blood brother and protector forever. I love you and forgive you for tormenting me as kid.

-Preciosa, for keeping in touch with yer brother-in-law here and always being just so damn nice and kind towards me.

-To the Gay Guru, who needs ta slow down and gimme a chance to catch up with the greatest most informative action-packed gay blog of all time! WHEW!

I hope I didn't miss anyone, and if I did, feel free to bitch and complain and let me know in the comments section below! HAPPY 2007 TO YE ALL AND LET'S KEEP THIS PARTY GOING!

RIP GODFATHER OF SOUL, THE LEGENDARY AND INCOMPARABLE JAMES BROWN, I WILL MISS YOUR INFECTIOUS LAUGH ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW.

Amen.

JAMES DEAN IS STILL DEAD.

When a loved one or good friend dies on you, it can obviously be devastating.

Celebrities, or well-known people can also impact our lives. Through their work or artistic achievements, we come to identify with them, as if we personally knew them. No matter how rich or famous though, they too eventually die, and it can feel like a tremendous loss for a fan. James Brown just died this week, and I personally feel it's quite sad, I can't imagine what a true fan of his work must be feeling.

When JFK was shot back in 1963, the whole country mourned for days. Millions shed tears for Kennedy, as if they personally knew him, even though to most he was only a picture in the newspaper or image on television. Judy Garland attracted large crowds too, as did the death of Elvis. There was the murder of John Lennon back in 1980 and the tremendous outpouring of love from millions the world over who mourned that man like a dead brother; there were even two actual documented cases of suicide following his death. To this day, Lennon's death really bothers and saddens me, for he was part of my favorite band ever; listening to his voice in songs is not only beautiful, but hauntingly tragic at times.

Not many Americans had heard of Selena, but she became an overnight household name when she was senselessly killed by that bloated bitch back in 1995. There she was, the Queen of Tejano music on the verge of making a huge English-language crossover and at 23 years of age, was stupidly cut short. Like JFK, most Hispanics can remember where they were on that awful day. It truly was a shock. Princess Di's death was a big big deal too. Millions mourned her, like I had never seen before, maybe too much so! I love Elton John, but I could not stand that awful version of Candle in the Wind he re-released with new lyrics. UGH! And so many people bought that single; the best-selling single ever. But I did watch the funeral, as did over one billion people on Earth. I also watched Mother Teresa's funeral. I admired that lady lots. I think she did lots of good while here, and proved to be as close to a saint as humanly possible.

John Kennedy Jr. flew his plane into the sea and my mother cried and cried over that guy. "Era tan guapo", she kept saying, "He was so handsome." Just two months or so after my father's death and that shitty 9/11, another Beatle, George Harrison died of cancer. I was really depressed over that. NOT ANOTHER BEATLE! I was real upset when Nell Carter passed away. I grew up watching Gimme A Break! as a kid. I remember crying at Reagan's funeral, 'cause I felt so bad for Nancy clinging onto his coffin. Maybe I'm just a big sap.

But so it goes man. That's life. That's the way it is. We must never forget that these people we admire or look up to are humans too. Flawed in many ways despite their enormous talents or contributions, and most certainly mortal. Like a cherished individual we personally know and care for, a noted personality we identify with can also sadden us greatly when they enter immortality.

George Harrison was right. All Things Must Pass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndXJTQwazIc

"DENY ME AND BE DOOMED."

I'm late to the game sometimes.

I just watched Madonna's I'm Going to Tell You a Secret documentary and it was purty good. Not as great as her original Truth or Dare documentary back in the early 90s when she truly ruled the world, but this was interesting nonetheless. Madonna seems much kinder and nicer this time around and definitely more spiritual. Her kids are quite beautiful. Her son Rocco is adorable. Little brat! And of course, it doesn't surprise me that the accompanying concert footage of her Re-Invention Tour is spectacular. As always, Madge is just amazing on stage. She should just die there when it's her time. She does a fantastic version of Like A Prayer too, and her live vocals generally sound good.

Ah, but the big discovery this past weekend for me was my first viewing of the 2001 musical/comedy/drama film Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It is wonderful to view something like this with no expectations and come away from it feeling like you just viewed something truly marvelous. This little movie is a gem; about a rock and roll drag queen with a botched-up genital operation who performs at small diners across America with her band while her rival has taken all her fame and glory. Hedwig and the Angry Inch is a visual and musical feast; a sort of genderbending Moulin Rouge!

A funny, witty, creative, and most entertaining film based I believe on an original Broadway show; director/star John Cameron Mitchell is remarkable as the lead character Hedwig, who was born in East Germany back when there was still a Berlin Wall. He narrates his life experiences and the film brilliantly cuts to his performances of some wonderfully written songs. I loved the music so much so, that I had to download the entire soundtrack yesterday. It's that catchy; a hybrid most reminiscent of David Bowie and Elton John's early work.

This little movie is now about five years old. Where have I been? After seeing it without any prior hardcore knowledge, I went ahead and read the reviews, and without a doubt it was lauded and praised by many.

I can see why.

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS.

I can't think of anyone who does not love or get emotional when they hear John Lennon's 1971 classic song Happy Xmas (War Is Over). I've done it for karaoke every year for a while now and time and time again people come up to me and say how much that song makes them wanna cry. It is indeed a most beautiful tune, ruined unfortunately when Yoko Ono comes in and starts yelping like a mad hound. UGH! Oh well, we give the song four stars nonetheless, for its amazing and tragic message against war, most specifically against Vietnam, which was raging at the time the track was released:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8jw-ifqwkM

And then there's good ole' Tiny Tim. Remember him? R.I.P. Tim. He was so famous with that ukulele back in the 60s and was quite the strange character. He gave us this fine fine song about Santa being a bit under the weather:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Hg0T171gs

Okay, it's a bit tasteless I know, but somehow I find this wickedly funny. MOOHOOHAHA!

To all of you who are reading this, and most especially to ye faithful reader/blogger friends, have a great holiday weekend! Peace, love, and good health to ye always!

May Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump have a fantastic Christmas dinner together in loving peace and harmony! HOOHOOHAHA!

MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS!

"I DON'T WANNA DIE, SOMETIMES I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL!"

There is no greater frontman, lead singer, or representative of a rock band than the late great Farrokh Bulsara, better known to the world as Freddie Mercury. He was by far, the best lead singer/showman in rock history.

I was reading a bit of his bio today, and was a little surprised to find out that Freddie was born in Zanzibar to Indian parents! Yep yep. Freddie grew up eating lots of curry! HAHA! He eventually moved to his adopted homeland England and was not too keen on revealing to the world what his true background was, so many just assumed he was English; must have been the overbite, which he often said he wanted to correct, but was afraid to for fear it would do something to his voice. He would often cover his mouth when smiling or laughing, for he was a bit self-conscious of the trait.

And so, as we all know, Freddie made it very big with his phenomenal rock band QUEEN which churned out some of the finest rock songs ever made. Stadiums the world over still play We Will Rock You and We Are the Champions, which many hold as sports anthems about victory, yet ironically are nothing but songs about the gay rights movement. Yes, all those fanatical sports-loving straight boys probably have no idea. And who can forget QUEEN'S greatest song ever: Bohemian Rhapsody? A most strange ballad, operatic, hard rock masterpiece which stands as one of the supreme all-time rock songs in history. I defy anyone to try and sing this at karaoke. It's almost impossible. The other bandmates did help write some of the group's songs, but it was Mercury who had the songwriting talent above them all. Let's not discredit the other members either mind you; they were excellent musicians and Brian May's guitar-playing skills are quite impressive, severely underrated even.

QUEEN was among the pioneer bands that used stadiums/arenas for rock concerts and used to put on quite a show. The logo for the band was actually designed by Mercury himself, a most regal crest looking design indeed. The band's name was appropriate alright: they seemed bigger than life, grandiose, over-the-top, glam, and almost outrageous for their time.

Many assume that Freddie was 100% gay, but he did date and shag girls too, one in particular was his girlfriend in the 70s and he said that he had never fallen in love with anyone like her. He often searched for love, but never really found it with other men, and was thus, quite sadly, very lonely. Somehow and most unfortunately along his sexual exploits, our beloved Freddie contracted that fucking HIV, which blew up into that cruel shitty AIDS and well...in 1991 Freddie died. Gone was this spectacular entertainer with the incredible voice.

But the legacy remains. QUEEN is most def among the finest rock bands ever. Yeah yeah, they're still trying to go at it with some other lead singer, but come on. There's no way. No way it can or ever will be the same again.

Without Freddie, QUEEN is truly no more.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

How time flies! And how technology changes!

This year marks the tenth anniversary of my usage of the Internet! Ten freakin' years! I remember first running into the World Wide Web back in 1996 when I was a student at CSUN and in my very early twenties. What a truly remarkable creation/invention! Mind you, the Net was really primitive back then, but my first encounter with it left me purty fascinated. I was the last generation to grow up without the Internet; we had to go to the library and search for books, newspapers, magazines, and microfilm for our research papers. Kids and college students have it much easier today doggone it! In my day! Shit, I really feel old now.

I had an old computer my brother Charles passed along to me, and I remember my other older brother N coming to my house lots during that Fall of 96 to work on the ancient thang, basically helping me build it up from scratch. I was finally able to log on from home for the first time ever using dial-up and how sweet it was. Slow as hell, but sweet! There it was! Webpages! News! All kinds of information at my fingertips! And porn! Easy and accessible porn! Back then of course, it was really only still pictures, but that was enough to get me off! It was at the time too, that I was struggling with my sexuality, so this World Wide Wait was a godsend. I could go into chat rooms and talk to people I would otherwise never have met.

Yeah, and those were the days my home computer was still on the Windows 3.1 operating system. And the browser par excellence was Netscape Navigator! HOLY COW MAN! That truly was the Stone Age. Damn pages loaded up real slow though. That was pretty exasperating. I recall the hype surrounding the release of EVITA too. That movie was getting lots of attention as the big Christmas release at the time.

So all these blogs, MySpace, mp3s, iPod, and other cyber innovations, here we are...

Ten years later.

POP/ROCK MUSIC LYRICS QUIZ!!!

Okay. How well do ya think ya know your musak? HUH?! HUH??!!

Alright, this quiz is only ten questions long, but not that easy! I will accept artist alone or song title, but ideally, both. Covering all kinds of hits from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and present loser decade, see if you can recognize these song lyrics:

1) "...and now it's all right, it's O.K. and you may look the other way. We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man...."

2) "...if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May queen..."

3) "...snap back to reality, OHH - there goes gravity OHH - there goes Rabbit, he choked he's so mad, but he won't give up that easy nope, he won't have it..."

4) "...they call me Thomas last name Crown, recognize game I'm a lay mine's down..."

5) "...the pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray, and tho' she feels as if she's in a play, she is anyway..."

6) "...hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes, put it in your pantry with your cupcakes..."

7) "... don't try to run I can keep up with you, nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to..."

8) "...you have to show them that you're really not scared you're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare they'll kick you, then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair..."

9) "...it's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are... you and me I can see us dying...are we?"

10) "...out from the barrio, you hear my rhythm from your radio, you feel the turning of the world so soft and slow, turning you round and round..."

Think you can answer this?

THE RETURN.

I've been trying to post comments on certain blogs that I regularly like to read and am unable to. What gives man?! Probably Blogger and its glitches as it moves into its Beta format which we'll all have to succumb to eventually I suppose.

So, after a five-month hiatus or so from the gym, I made my glorious return yesterday! I went kicking and screaming of course after work, and although it was a bit rough to get back into my routine, I did it! Yeah, it was nice to go back to that pervasive foot and ass smell which permeates the entire facility! Nice ta see all those dedicated hot muscular dudes doing their usual thing once again. Here I was, Mr. Punyverse, El Flaco, skinny ass me going back to try and tone up in the very least like I once was able to amazingly do back in 2003. I actually bulked up quite nicely there for a while.

This past year however has been very tumultuous for me. I moved back in May, and adjusting to a new place and shelling out more money has definitely been stressful. So my anxiety has shot up quite considerably, and contrary to most people, I lose weight when overly stressed instead of gaining it. Yeah, lucky me you say, but the last thing I want is to lose weight, when my constant goal is to gain. I have the opposite problem of Obese America, and it's just as annoying. The only thing that keeps me feeling better and regularly normal is the gym, so I felt I had to go back yesterday. Gotta burn all the negative energy and toxins. Gotta help that sex drive, appetite, and sleeping patterns. Gotta go and check out the hotties too! YAHOOEY!

I mean, there's a good number of straight people working out at this gym of mine ya know? But so many, and I mean SO MANY there are gay men with wandering eyes, especially when one hits tha sauna or showers. Yeah, yeah, I won't lie, I like to reward myself with a good look or two after a good workout. Sometimes it's not pretty though. The fat old oogly trolls are in there, fondling themselves, thinking they still got it going on as they maybe once did decades ago. Once in a while, I'll get lucky and run into a nice looking specimen. Who knows? A glance or two? Flirt here and there? OH THE DEPRAVITY!

Here's hoping I can keep my routine of at least three times a week going forever as I once did.

Wish me luck will ya?

AN INCONVENIENT AND TERRIBLY WORRISOME PROBLEM.

Former Vice President Al Gore's seminar on global warming is effectively captured on film in the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, which I just finished watching; a movie now on DVD which ya gotta see folks!

I must say, this film provokes lots of thought and is actually quite depressing. The Industrial Revolution was a great technological advancement in the history of humanity, but it has brought with it lots of terrible consequences to our planet. The massive daily burning of fossil fuels and release of tremendous amounts of carbon dioxide into our atmosphere for decades has finally begun to take its toll on our ecosystem. Gore claims that it is due to all of this uncontrolled burning through factories, automobile use, and general human activity that we are now experiencing an alarming rise in atmospheric temperatures causing all sorts of secondary problems. The worst offender in all of this, the country with the most responsibility for this problem? You got it, The United States. Ironically, Gore does all this traveling by plane and car to spread his message! HAHA! More burning of fuel! But hey, at least he's taking positive action somehow.

The film is very effective in that Gore keeps your attention throughout the 90 minutes. He uses very good graphs, charts, and pics to prove his points. The guy has been on this bandwagon since the 1970s and knows his shit well. I would say Gore is a true hero and pioneer and has been trying to get attention in Washington D.C. on this problem for years, but says that no one wanted to listen, until only recently. He even addresses the skeptics and naysayers, often comparing them to those doctors and scientists who used to believe smoking did not cause cancer.

The dramatic before and after photographs of mountains covered with snow and once majestic glaciers is very disturbing. He shows various places that only twenty or thirty years ago were frozen, now looking like dry or almost parched land. This is very shocking indeed. The quick and rapid melting right before our eyes of the North Pole, Antarctica, and Greenland are also covered, and this spells grave danger for sea levels as Gore shows how Florida and other major places around the world will be under water soon if the melting doesn't stop. PRETTY FUCKING SCARY!

The size and intensity of hurricanes will only get worse, coral reefs are dying as ocean temps get dangerously warmer, and the worst off in all of this: animals. Our living wonderful brethren are suffering and dwindling. Penguins, polar bears, caribou, fish and other living creatures are all dying out or in disarray due to the melting of ice and other significant changes due to human activity. It almost brought me to tears to see the computer animation in the documentary of a lone polar bear drowning after having to swim for miles and miles trying to look for a decent piece of ice to rest on and finding none, which scientists say is actually happening.

That we are responsible for great achievements in thought, architecture, and art is horribly contradicted in the damage we've inflicted upon our one and only home: EARTH. How tragic. We are the most destructive and selfish of all the living species on here. Gore does offer hope that we can begin to change our ways and perhaps thwart or even reverse some of the damage, but the film left me feeling very doomed nonetheless. There is hope in that population growth is actually showing signs of control, but we will still go from six and half billion now to 9 billion by 2050.

Here we are, the lone blue miracle jewel in space. Our one and only home. What have we done? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! I guess we can all do something at least now and take some action. Doing our part is better than just doing nothing right?

As Gore says, "This is a moral issue."

Yes Al, it is. It truly is.

LOVE: CD REVIEW.

Today marks yet another tragic anniversary of the senseless murder of John Lennon.

How fitting then, that yesterday, I finally went to Target and purchased the new LOVE album which is getting rave reviews. This is the music one hears at the actual Cirque du Soleil show in Las Vegas which opened earlier this year at The Mirage. It is probably the next best thing to actually going to the show, which many are calling brilliant.

My thoughts on this CD? Well, it is certainly quite beautiful to listen to. George Martin and his son have produced a most interesting sound collage: mixing Beatles songs on top of each other, blending them together, fading one track into another, and reworking classics with new digital techniques never before available. There really is nothing new here, but then again, I've listened to The Beatles ad nauseam at this point, and know their song catalogue like the back of my hand. To the ardent Beatles fan like myself, this is a satisfying piece of work, but nothing new nor groundbreaking. Many of the demos and alternate takes featured on the Anthologies are in here, which my ear by now is very accustomed to, but would sound terrific to a semi-Beatles fan.

What is fantastic here is the digital quality of some of the songs. I Am The Walrus never sounded more glorious and it's about damn time! For years, the best digital quality of that song was from the CD version of the Blue Album, and that was pretty atrocious, especially when the song goes into the bridge. On the LOVE album, it sounds crisp, clear, and downright majestic. Revolution also never sounded better, as do Here Comes the Sun, Hey Jude, Get Back, and other tunes so many of us are all too familiar with. Bass lines are enhanced, guitar licks sound fresh, new sound effects are used, and the songs sound as if they were recorded yesterday.

For the casual, amateur, or occasional Beatles fan, this CD should be a real treat. A must have. Why not shell out the fourteen bucks and get yourself something cool, something unheard of, something different? It is well worth it. As a Beatlemaniac, I would recommend this too, but don't expect anything new or super earth-shattering, except a new audio feast of some old classics.

This album gets three out of four possible stars.

Four, if you're high.

PRESIDENT RODHAM?

Damnit kids, this could be it. This could be Hillary Clinton's chance to run and actually win the highest office in the land! 2008 is well damn almost near! She's really mulling it over too. All the plastic surgery and years of living the good life have made her more appealing to the cameras too, cause she wasn't quite the looker then. Ahem.

I'm sure conservative judgmental assholes out there are barely trying to recover from the ass whoopin' they got a month ago when the Democrats took over Congress, and now comes the true possibility that Bill's wife is actually seriously considering running for the presidency. She's been Senator now for quite a few good years and they seem to love her in New York State, even though she barely knew anything at all about the damn place, yet she still won!

Personally, I feel Hillary is a phony. She comes across as a real bitch and overly power hungry. Almost insincere even. Her background with Bill was one of real scandal, especially when it came to that Whitewater shit. And yet, I would probably vote for HELLary. Yeah, I would. We need a woman in office finally. It's been way too long. Forty-three hetero white men has been enough. Bring in da bitch! Hell, I already got female supervisors up my crack at work, might as well have one running the big show at the White House. Politics is a dirty business anyway, so let her go at it. Can't be any worse than what we've been dealing with for the past six years, and Rodham would actually do much good like her husband tried to back in the 90s.

You go HELLary! Give 'em hell! Lord knows you already were kinda on top of things when yer hubby Bill was in power. So much so that you stressed the man into having affairs with all kinds of skanks! Or maybe he's just an adulterous pig like most men. HAHA! The point is, I feel Mrs. ClinTOON could get the job done regardless of how I feel about her.

Look out though. That Barack Obama is very strong. And if Oprah were to run, then Hillary can forget about ever winning! HARDEEHARHAR!

I don't know how ready America is for a female president though. This country is still so backward. Maybe we'll have a black president before a female. And certainly never a homosexual!

Certainly not.

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS AND MAJESTY.

Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyny Gwyn Goo Goo.

She recently said that she enjoys her new life in England with her husband (the lead singer of Coldplay) and her child. She said that the English are much more civilized and that she enjoys conversing with them and spending time with the Europeans because they are much more profound and intelligent than us puny Americans. She loves the fact too, that she's practically neighbors with Madonna who lives just a few doors down from her! Imagine that!

I got something for ya bitch. A fist sandwich! Well excuse me Miss Thang! You are an American! You were born to a pretty privileged family that was already in the entertainment business! You are pretty lucky! Born and raised in these States. You gots lots o' money! Most of us can't afford a big nice mansion, let alone moving to a new high quality classy life across the Atlantic.

I think she's already apologizing and crap for this, but STILL! Why did that movie Shakespeare in Love win the Best Picture Oscar by the way? It should have gone to Saving Private Ryan back in 1998. And why did Gwyneth Paltrow win the Best Actress Oscar for that film? Everyone knows Cate Blanchett deserved it much more than Paltrow did for her tremendous performance in Elizabeth.

Oh well, the tale of another rich spoiled bitch talking trash, then trying to save face. You may love all those crumpets and tea time, but remember:

America made you.

6 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME.

Because good ole' Sebastien tagged me, I gots ta comply. Here goes kids:

1) Even though I'm gay, I think if I were straight, I'd wanna marry someone like Jennifer Garner. I find her so adorable, so cute, and purty. Aw shucks Earl, I'm blushing now! I don't even watch her show ALIAS at all and have only seen her in a few films here and there, but I think the girl's very attractive and has an incredible glowing personality that comes across on screen. I have seen her in interviews and she seems like the nicest sweetest girl. Good choice Ben Affleck. Even though I think you're a boring actor in tons of horrible motion pictures,you married the right girl. And Jennifer, you did marry quite a good looking dude too.

2) I love stuffed animals. Yep. I often imagine them as actual living creatures with hearts and souls. I hate to see them torn to pieces, mistreated, or beaten. It's as if a real animal were getting abused or something. I know it's silly, but stuffed animals are very comforting. Yeah, I know, a grown man like myself admitting this, but I was tagged okay?! SHEESH! I freakin' cried at the end of A.I. when that talking stuffed bear just sits there as the camera pans out the window. Devastating!

3) I love to eat applesauce and cottage cheese. Ya ever tried it? It's freakin' good. Yep. A couple of tablespoons of nice old-fashioned Mott's Applesauce and Knudsen Cottage Cheese in a cereal bowl and damn! That's some good shit. And healthy! Also like the cottage cheese with that fruit cocktail and all that venomous syrup that comes in those cans. YUMMY!

4) I believe I was a hardcore liberal hippie that died of a drug-induced suicide back in 1970 or so in my past life. I couldn't deal with The Beatles breaking up or something! And I also knew Mozart in a past life. My name was Justin Braunhilius and I helped him write down opera notes and crap in some of the theaters where they were rehearsed/performed. I also knew Jesus of Nazareth! That's right! I was Simon Peter, and who are you to judge or question me?! LOL!

5) I get very self-conscious sometimes having to get a haircut. Yeah. There she/he is. Staring at my freaking head. Cutting it. Looking at my face. I have to sit still. With that God awful tight cape thang/towel around my neck. While the artiste does their job. And alls I can do is stare into the mirror. Am I sweaty? Do I smell? What are they thinking of me as they cut my hair and stare right directly at me? They can see my moles or current breakout! It really is quite an invasive procedure!

6) And last but not least on this list of bizarro facts about me: I write some brilliant ass tunes in my head, just as I'm about to go to sleep or even as I'm dreaming. No joke! I can hear the completed original pop/rock song in my head, perfectly produced as you would hear it on an album. It's just that when I wake up, I don't really remember them anymore. The trick would be to jolt myself out of near sleep or deep sleep itself, get a small tape recorder and hum them into it and then play them out on a portable keyboard and record them and shit, but I don't make time, although I often say that soon I will record again, and gosh darnit, I really should. I did do some demos six years ago from songs that just burst out of me consciously. But it's near and during real sleep that my masterful Beatles/Radiohead/Scissor Sisters/Elton John songwriting brain comes to life. HAHA!

The end.