6 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME.

Because good ole' Sebastien tagged me, I gots ta comply. Here goes kids:

1) Even though I'm gay, I think if I were straight, I'd wanna marry someone like Jennifer Garner. I find her so adorable, so cute, and purty. Aw shucks Earl, I'm blushing now! I don't even watch her show ALIAS at all and have only seen her in a few films here and there, but I think the girl's very attractive and has an incredible glowing personality that comes across on screen. I have seen her in interviews and she seems like the nicest sweetest girl. Good choice Ben Affleck. Even though I think you're a boring actor in tons of horrible motion pictures,you married the right girl. And Jennifer, you did marry quite a good looking dude too.

2) I love stuffed animals. Yep. I often imagine them as actual living creatures with hearts and souls. I hate to see them torn to pieces, mistreated, or beaten. It's as if a real animal were getting abused or something. I know it's silly, but stuffed animals are very comforting. Yeah, I know, a grown man like myself admitting this, but I was tagged okay?! SHEESH! I freakin' cried at the end of A.I. when that talking stuffed bear just sits there as the camera pans out the window. Devastating!

3) I love to eat applesauce and cottage cheese. Ya ever tried it? It's freakin' good. Yep. A couple of tablespoons of nice old-fashioned Mott's Applesauce and Knudsen Cottage Cheese in a cereal bowl and damn! That's some good shit. And healthy! Also like the cottage cheese with that fruit cocktail and all that venomous syrup that comes in those cans. YUMMY!

4) I believe I was a hardcore liberal hippie that died of a drug-induced suicide back in 1970 or so in my past life. I couldn't deal with The Beatles breaking up or something! And I also knew Mozart in a past life. My name was Justin Braunhilius and I helped him write down opera notes and crap in some of the theaters where they were rehearsed/performed. I also knew Jesus of Nazareth! That's right! I was Simon Peter, and who are you to judge or question me?! LOL!

5) I get very self-conscious sometimes having to get a haircut. Yeah. There she/he is. Staring at my freaking head. Cutting it. Looking at my face. I have to sit still. With that God awful tight cape thang/towel around my neck. While the artiste does their job. And alls I can do is stare into the mirror. Am I sweaty? Do I smell? What are they thinking of me as they cut my hair and stare right directly at me? They can see my moles or current breakout! It really is quite an invasive procedure!

6) And last but not least on this list of bizarro facts about me: I write some brilliant ass tunes in my head, just as I'm about to go to sleep or even as I'm dreaming. No joke! I can hear the completed original pop/rock song in my head, perfectly produced as you would hear it on an album. It's just that when I wake up, I don't really remember them anymore. The trick would be to jolt myself out of near sleep or deep sleep itself, get a small tape recorder and hum them into it and then play them out on a portable keyboard and record them and shit, but I don't make time, although I often say that soon I will record again, and gosh darnit, I really should. I did do some demos six years ago from songs that just burst out of me consciously. But it's near and during real sleep that my masterful Beatles/Radiohead/Scissor Sisters/Elton John songwriting brain comes to life. HAHA!

The end.