SAY GOODBYE TO FEBRUARY.

I went back to the gym Wednesday night! I CAN'T FREAKIN' BELIEVE IT!!! The last time I set foot there was mid 2007, and I was so burned out and sick of it then, that I decided I needed a break. That was one LONG break though! I'm happy to have the motivation once again, and I am ready to get a better body this time around. After just one workout so far, I am sore, but it's a good feeling for sure. I may be imagining it, but I could swear my muscles look even nicer today! 2008 was such a depressive and lazy year for me; I had no goals, no desire for anything really, other than the basics to survive! Hmm...wait a minute. Ever since I started those gross apple cider vinegar shots, I wonder if they have anything to do with my newfound motivation? Whatever it may be, I pray to God this awesome feeling to move forward and bulk up in 2009 will continue. ¡VIVA LA MOTIVACIÓN! Watch out Chris Evans, here I come! LOLOLOL! My co-worker recommended this protein powder to gain weight and start building up my new gorgeous bod. He also wants me to work out five days a week for eight weeks straight! Sounds nice, but that kind of regimen will probably cause me to burn out or just plain drop dead! AHAHAHAHAHAHA! Imma start slow and go at least 3 times a week.

I hate to give that attention-whore "octomom" any more mention than she deserves, but I can't help it. She is an absolute mental case, and was recently seen in this footage arguing with her mother. This pathetic woman has no job, so the hospital will not be releasing those eight kids to her anytime soon they said, to add to her other six already at home. I think the father/sperm donor reared his head recently too or something. I dunno man, the whole damn story is a mess, and she's having her 15 minutes of fame for sure and loving it. On top of this whole scandalous mess, our sex friends at Vivid have made "octomom" a nice 1 million dollar offer to star in a porno and health insurance for her litter of kids. Go for it honey, 'cause we the taxpayers do not want to support your insanity! I'd wanna watch this DVD too, being the sicko that I am! AHAHAHA!

The Obamas are looking for a White House dog and they are more than likely going to adopt a Portuguese Water Hound for the girls, because one of them is allergic to most dogs, but this breed is nice in that it doesn't shed too much hair. Or will that other allergy-free Labradoodle breed end up winning their hearts instead? We'll know by spring for sure! Why don't they just adopt one of each breed right? AW! Then there'll be two cute funnee doggy friends, and they can run around the Oval Office playing with squeaky toys while the president talks on the phone with other world leaders about how to deal with the continuing collapse of the world's financial system and a nuclear Iran! HEE!

I hope he had enough hand sanitizer Tuesday night. This amount of hand-shaking and adulation is extraordinary! It took him an eternity it seems, to get from the entrance to the podium:

"MY NAME IS WAT, AND I'M HERE TA RECRUIT YOU!"

It's a bittersweet moment for me right now. My one friend is very sick and bravely battling a shitty disease, while my other good bud is doing very very well/thriving despite his illness! Go figure. I've been in a strangely decent mood the last week or so. There are some cute straight dudes at work I get to talk to who seem to enjoy my company, and I feel most fortunate to have them around my cubicle chatting it up. It's a gay man's wet dream to be surrounded by straight hotness that I can possibly turn to the dark side! LOLOL! I'm not holding my breath mind you, but one never knows! Even more flattering and encouraging were my brother's remarks to my mother recently that I had gotten very handsome as of late; that I am looking hot. OH MY GOD. My brother Charles is a fag! LOLOLOLOL! But seriously, that is so ego-boosting for realz dawg, and I think it's due to my heavy sleeping and heavy eating as of late, which has helped me put on some weight on my normally thin bod, especially on my face. Must be also the fact that I've reached my prime age: 26! Well, I look about 26 okay? SCREW YOU! WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?! HA!

I blame my bud at work for introducing me to Milo Ventimiglia. DAMN YOU! I'm trying not to fantasize already about unattainable hottie male celebs like Jakey G., Chris Evans, Ben Foster, Paul Walker, and Ryan Reynolds, and now I gotta deal with Milo?! Milo is on that NBC show I never watched called Heroes, along with that blonde pretty chick Hayden Panettiere, whom he was dating for a while, but they've split up because the age difference is too great I suppose. Hayden is about 12 years old and Milo is in his early thirties! HAHA! Yeah, YouTube has really silly clips of Milo doing silly mundane things, but I do enjoy watching them sometimes just because Milo turns me on. Damn, I am so gay. I can't bloody help it. At times, Milo doesn't look THAT hot, but I think it's his boy-next-door type look that makes him endearing, and I hear he is in nice shape. Hey Milo, if you ever get a job at my office, come to my cubicle like my other straight dude friends at work and hang out to chit chat okay? Cool deal bro! HEEHEE!

This song is so simple, so awesomely sung by lead singer Thom Yorke, and so amazing, especially when stoned! Such is the greatness of Radiohead:

NONE OF THIS CHANGES THE WORLD, BUT IT IS MIGHTY ENTERTAINING.

I was having a good weekend too, only to be ruined! ARGH! The satellite radio charger in my car broke, and in trying to recover small pieces, a spark went off which has now left my car clock and car radio also dead! No Howard Stern to and from work, or music to listen to, so now I get to enjoy the f*cking sound of traffic/wind outside my car windows as I race to work and back like my other fellow slave drones on the road.

The Academy Awards were actually pretty good this year. I thought Hugh Jackman was quite charming and had a nice opening number, which he pulled off very well. The stage was decorated beautifully, and this is the first Oscar show I got to see in crystal clear HDTV, so it was really cool to view it this way! The gals I was rooting for won! YEEHA! The superb Kate Winslet took the award for Best Actress, and most deservedly so; I know I stood up and clapped loud and hard for her. And Penélope Cruz, who has become quite a good little performer these past few years, won for Best Supporting Actress to the delight of her home country Spain, as you can see/read in this newspaper from her native land. Good job ladies, and nice acceptance speeches if I may say so myself! Heath Ledger took Best Supporting Actor as was expected, and although kind of sad to hear his family accept on his behalf, it was a nice tribute to the late great Aussie talent. The big surprise for me was Sean Penn winning Best Actor for Milk. I really thought Mickey Rourke or Frank Langella were going to win that one, so it was quite a shock to hear Sean's name, his second Oscar now. Congrats to Sean, and he too gave a cool acceptance speech, ironically about acceptance, which no doubt pissed off many conservative Americans! HA! So did probably the guy who won for Best Original Screenplay for Milk. Three years ago, they were having such a hard time with Brokeback Mountain, but this time the Academy Awards were very pro-gay and flaunting it! How quickly we've progressed!

Some three years later, I finally sat down to watch the original High School Musical, and it has got to be the cheesiest corniest dumbass story I think I have ever seen, but I enjoyed it! Zac Efron is so darn cute! Love dem purty eyes boy! LOLOLOL! Now I can maybe have a decent conversation with my 11 year-old niece about this Disney megahit franchise, without being completely ignorant about who Troy, Gabriella, Chad, Sharpey and Ryan are! AHAHAH! My God, what have I reduced myself to?! I can't wait now to see the two sequels! YEAH! Makes me wish that I had jumped into song and dance numbers for no reason whatsoever back in MY high school days. Everyone is so damn happy at East High School! Everyone is so understanding and nice to each other, and even when they are mean, they're not as cruel to each other as real high school jerks and beatches can be. Maybe they're afraid to have a Columbine-style shooting? LOLOLOL!

This folks, is good ole'-fashioned escapist wholesome clean-cut nauseating American entertainment:

TO HEATH.

GAY SUPER BOWL SUNDAY IS HERE: THE ACADEMY AWARDS!

I haven't watched most of the Oscar-nominated performances/films this year. The hype over Slumdog Millionaire has gotten nauseating though! The male actor from that movie however, Dev Patel seems like a cool dude, and is kinda cute too.

Because I love her so, I am rooting for Kate Winslet. GO KATE! YOU GO! Because you have been such a fine actress in the past 11 or so years I have been following you, because you are willing to get naked in countless films, because you do American accents so well, because, and SIMPLY JUST BECAUSE...I SALUTE YOU MY ENGLISH ROSE! The Oscar is most deservedly yours, for all these great years of daring and different roles! This is your moment! Or will you be denied for years to come, a la Susan Lucci? LOLOL! This is an awesome article from Time magazine on my beloved Kate.

And last but not least, a big shout out to la española Penélope Cruz! I was never really into this bitch much before, but in recent years, she has really grown on me. I've seen her in most of her major Spanish-speaking films like Abre Los Ojos, Jamón Jamón, and Volver, and although I prefer her in her native language, I have come to realize that she is growing quite nicely in her American career, and she has gotten quite beautiful now that she's older. To you Penny! ¡Viva España y buena suerte!

Who you rooting for?

MONTY AND THE MONKEY.

Hello good fine people.

Why would anyone make the dumb mistake of keeping a chimpanzee at home as a pet?! Wonderfully intelligent creatures, but they're wild man! I suppose not all these animals lose their marbles and attack other humans, but they are known to be very aggressive at times, and when one of these things throws a tantrum, WATCH OUT! Y'all heard by now I'm sure, about the woman whose pet monkey of 14 years went off on her good friend and nearly mauled the poor lady to death! MY GOD MAN! The story and chilling 911 phone call are here. What disturbs me the most about this story is that this woman even slept with the chimp in her bed! That's kind of creepy, and I honestly pray she didn't have sex with it as well! AHAHHAHAHA! Did you know that chimpanzees are our closest relative and that we share about 93% of the same DNA? Wild crazy stuff huh?! I look in the mirror and can often see my resemblance to my chimp brothers in the wild. LOL! OH! Really awesome footage here of chimps attacking other fellow chimps in the wild to protect their territory! Stick with the clip, because the end is quite remarkable and almost shocking.

James Dean was certainly one handsome fellow, but I'm obsessed right now with Montgomery Clift. He's one of those movie stars of the past that has been in my subconscious for years, but only now do I realize how fascinating this dude really was, not to mention those awesome good looks. OH MONTY! That's Monty gracing the upper left corner of my blog by the way. Monty dated women I believe, but he was also very much into men, so I guess he's considered bisexual, although rumor has it that when that awesome lady Liz Taylor was first introduced to him, she instantly knew that Monty was really gay and she quickly became good friends with him, because Liz has always been an incorrigible fag hag. LOLOL! Sadly, Clift had a very tragic existence marred by rampant drug and alcohol abuse, and then at age 35, he was in a bad car accident which disfigured him and made him even more unhappy for the rest of his life. He was only 45 when he died of a massive heart attack. Very Judy Garlandish-type Hollywood story huh? Thank God for film and all that good footage we still have of Monty in his prime.

God, even all these years later, this classic f*cking show is still funny to me:

HOWDY PARTNER, IT'S PRESIDENT'S DAY 2009.

I'm in a bit of a rush, trying to get this entry in before the day ends.

Yeah, it's President's Day! My fav American president of all time is Franklin Delano Roosevelt. When Roosevelt took office in 1933, this country was in the midst of a horrible economic depression, but by the time he left (died really) office in 1945, the United States had not only come out of its financial turmoil stronger, but it had also won World War II and was the greatest power on Earth. Not bad FDR, not bad at all. A great man, who couldn't even walk due to the polio that had stricken him earlier in life; an amazing human being! Folks, leaders like this just don't exist anymore. Mind you, FDR did make some mistakes during his presidency, like those embarrassing Japanese internment camps, but to get a whole nation motivated, energized, and win that horrid war the way it did was a truly extraordinary feat. He was one great orator too, as you can listen to here. Only president to ever be elected four times! That goes to show you the people loved him, because he knew what he was doing!

I was watching Appaloosa yesterday, a really cool western starring Ed Harris, Viggo Mortensen, and Renée Zellweger. I like the film, but what kept going through my mind was how much I miss my father in the sense that I remember him watching lots of westerns whenever they were aired on television, especially any one of those starring Clint Eastwood or Charles Bronson, who were his two favorite actors. He used to say that he would've loved to have been a cowboy. HA! I could envision my old man being a vaquero too, what with his old style macho self and terrible womanizing ways. Yeah, it's too bad my father did not live long enough to really enjoy the awesomeness of HDTV or DVD's to have been able to enjoy these new and old movies again about the old Spanish-style Southwest in high quality! Anyway, it was nice to remember him fondly at least in this manner, because not all of my memories of my father are good, but at least I am happy to think of something positive to say about my old man, who passed on to the next dimension some seven years ago.

Well, I have much more to yap about, but I gots to run!

HUMANS ARE INSANE, LET THE AMINALS TAKE CHARGE!

I'm behind on some your blogs good people. I apologize. Life's busy. Life's hard. Thanks to Bruce for the snack suggestion by the way! I will most definitely look into it! :)

When I wrote about Joaquin Phoenix in my last post, I had no idea he was going to appear on Letterman's show that very night and cause such a massive sensation due to his recent bizarre appearance/behavior; he acted quite aloof and detached with David, as if high on something. Joaquin has lost his mind, or is this a brilliant publicity stunt? Highlights of this now legendary interview are here.

Despite the horrible loss of property and human/animal life in those Australian fires recently, some really heartwarming news has come out of all this tragedy. Many thirsty, hungry, burned, and scared animals have survived and are being cared for/rescued by some very nice people out there with good hearts. Koalas, possums, dogs, and other critters are being nursed back to health by some very compassionate volunteers, which gives me hope that our species still has some decency/kindness left. The picture that made me cry and has moved millions of hearts all over the world, the firefighter who gave this cute little koala some much needed water:Of course, humanity is right on schedule and on the road to its eventual extinction with zany stories like that of the ridiculous unemployed overbreeding mother still making headlines. She has shamelessly set up her own website accepting donations to raise all 14 of her children! Now however, she's pissed off some hardworking taxpayers, because she's received death threats! YIKES! Speaking of threats, singer Chris Brown smacking singer Rhianna earlier this week?! WHAT THA HELL?! How horrid! How scandalous! How deliciously juicy!

I would like to end this post by dedicating it to two very important people in my life who are both going through very difficult ordeals at this time . To Scarlet, whom I love despite the fact he's mean/selfish with me, but I wish him all the best regardless, and to that girl I met in junior high all those years ago now living in San Diego, who has done/sacrificed all she can to look after her parents. You have been and ARE a good daughter. Your conscience is clear my dear. God bless...

Thank you, and hasta pronto.

CHEEZ-ITS WILL MAKE IT ALL BETTER.

Thanks again to all of you who stop by to read and most especially to those of you who comment. Happy birthday to my mom by the way.

Joaquin Phoenix has given up his film career to become a hip-hop rapper? WHAT?! But he's so talented as an actor! I love Joaquin! I even went as far as to use his first name as an alias for karaoke! I know Joaquin is a bit loony, but I had no idea it went this far. I hope he wakes up from this bizarre dream soon, because he's looking like a whino as of late.

I was talking to a co-worker from Peru, and I was telling her in Spanish how scary the world is these days, and that although it would be nice to have my own child or two, that in these uncertain times, it was just not worth it. She looked at me rather perplexed, and said, "Well son, you just haven't fallen in love with the right woman (she assumes I'm hetero), and it will happen when the time is right. Besides, you need to have kids, because the Bible says we must multiply and to not do so is a sin!" Inside, I was dying just a little from hearing this ignorant statement, but I can forgive her for her old-fashioned views. I mean, she is 67 years old. Raised in high-altitude thin-aired f*cking Peru for crying out loud! It's interesting how modern Spain has a low birth-rate yet the areas it colonized are still breeding like rabbits. My co-worker's probably Catholic, and her last of four children was born in 1973. She had a much more rosy view of life back then to reproduce than I do these days. Or maybe I'm just a walking doom-and-gloom asshole, and everything is just fine, although she did admit that the state of the economy is pretty frightening.

Here's some food for thought:

Feb. 9 (Bloomberg) -- The stimulus package the U.S. Congress is completing would raise the government’s commitment to solving the financial crisis to $9.7 trillion, enough to pay off more than 90 percent of the nation’s home mortgages.

.....The $9.7 trillion in pledges would be enough to send a $1,430 check to every man, woman and child alive in the world. It’s 13 times what the U.S. has spent so far on wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to Congressional Budget Office data, and is almost enough to pay off every home mortgage loan in the U.S., calculated at $10.5 trillion by the Federal Reserve.

Don't bet on us receiving a cent though. That would make too much sense. They want us, the average Joe and Jane to be in debt and fall apart. Where is all this fake weak borrowed money coming from? We're broke! Sigh...

I'm out of Cheez-Its. I should go to Target and buy me a couple of boxes later today to help me cope with all this mess.

ON THIS MONDAY.

I've been doing apple cider vinegar shots upon arising out of bed in the morning and right before bedtime. Diluted in some water, organic ac vinegar is supposed to cleanse the system, and it definitely has rid me of my acid reflux problem for good, but it is absolutely disgusting to down the stuff. YUCK! Going on two weeks of this, but I don't know how much longer I can stand it.

When I look back at my high school years, there are some bittersweet memories here and there. I had horrible acne, I was really gangly, and I was most definitely not a fashion icon. It is these grotesque memories I sure would like to erase. I do miss however learning in a classroom with a good teacher. I do miss having silly friends to shoot the breeze with and misbehave. I miss living a fairly carefree life with absolutely no financial responsibilities whatsoever. I was much too naive and ignorant back then however, and extremely sexually repressed and confused. Yeah, it sucks one cannot have all the great wisdom and knowledge of today applied to those days. Why couldn't I be the Charlie Bartlett of my era? Why couldn't I dispense incredible psychological advice to the student masses and be adored for it? I was popular in my own way mind you, but not enough to really stir/move my high school as if it were own kingdom!

Don't ask me why I have been taken all of a sudden by Ayn Rand. It's not like I even agree with the author's egotistical philosophy, but she was a truly fascinating person nonetheless. Originally from Russia, Rand became a naturalized American citizen and loved free market capitalism and the idea that humans were the supreme of all creatures, with absolutely no God to speak of. A firm atheist, anti-Communist, and completely against altruism, Rand was extreme in her views, and almost quite selfish if you ask me. Her most famous books, The Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged still continue to sell well today, and are studied by high school and college students all across America. I found a really good interview with her on the old Donahue show here, if you have the time or care to watch.

There's much more to get into, like Obama trying to appoint all those tax evaders to high Cabinet positions, but I've said enough.

CHRIS EVANS ON TOUR!

As California and the rest of these once great United States continue plunging into the greatest economic depression of all time, I'd like to devote a little bit of blog space to this handsome man:Yes, that is actor Chris Evans, whose movies up to this point are really not that extraordinary, but being able to watch/admire him in all his manly stud glory is good enough. LOL! I think the first time I saw Chris was in Not Another Teen Movie, where he was already looking mighty fine, but he still had not begun to massively work out. Then came those horrible Fantastic Four films starring that boring ashamed-to-be-Latina bitch Jessica Alba, but I was willing to overlook her just to get a glimpse of the new and improved Chris Evans, all pumped up and looking like a million bucks. I dare say, he might just give my beloved Jakey G. a run for his money, although Jakey is the superior actor in far better movies than Evans, but still! LOOK AT CHRIS! DROOOOL! You go whiteboy! See Chris in his new film opening today, Push. I should go see it, because the premise sounds pretty cool, but I also think it's probably mindless enough to best wait for it on DVD. Also see the new Dakota Fanning in her awkward puberty stage! AHAHAHAHAH!

Elton John and Billy Joel are in concert together next month I believe. Britney Spears is also coming to town, as are the awesome Scottish band Travis, but I have yet to buy tickets for any of these events. I dunno. Not too excited about live shows this year as I was in 2008. Gotta be careful with the cash right now right? Oddly, 2008 was a great year for the concert business, they actually posted a profit! Go figure. And I actually went to eight concerts in 2008 myself, which is a record for me. It does get expensive though, and sometimes I end up sitting next to really annoying retarded people. And parking can be so irritating as well! UGH! But I have to say, I did enjoy most of the shows I attended last year, so I guess all the fuss is worth it. I'll only live once in this mediocre dimension, so I might as well start planning to attend a concert or two. BRITNEY HERE I COME! I can't believe I'm even considering a Britney show! I have truly lost my mind, but this will probably be her most awesome tour yet, as the girl is truly in her prime.

Sir Paul genius McCartney was on The Colbert Report recently. Thanks to my bud Vito for the heads up. Very very funny:

http://www.comedycentral.com/colbertreport/full-episodes/index.jhtml?episodeId=217066

MIKEY PHELPS IS HIGH. WAIT, I MEAN...IN HIGH-DEFINITION.

I'm soooo annoyed at life right now. But I digress...

Did any of you drive by a Denny's yesterday? That free Grand Slam breakfast promotion had people waiting in really long lines! Jesus!

That sexy geekalicious Olympic champion Michael Phelps was caught smoking pot! OH MY GOD! THE END OF THE WORLD IS HERE! Big whoop! So the kid likes to party a bit. Give him a break. I mean please! I had heard that even at the Olympics, marijuana was not on the list of substances that disqualify you from competing. You read that right! So why all the fuss? Mikey Phelps has worked hard his whole life to get this far, and proved himself in the pool, give him all those endorsement millions already will ya? I mean, if I have to be an ordinary working stiff with bitterness issues in this lifetime, I think someone as extraordinary as Phelps should be showered with all the money in the world that I wish I had at this very moment but don't because I just didn't have enough ambition earlier in my life like I should have, and I am grateful to even have a job in this economy, but somehow I am still pissy because I'd like to buy all that yummy delicious healthy stuff at Whole Foods which is overpriced, yet tastes so damn good! OOPS! I'm rambling here...

My beloved ex got a really cool brand new high-definition LCD television! WOW! It is sooooo cool! 42 inches of pure unadulterated visual joy! I have watched many a film on his regular television throughout the years, but watching Kinky Boots and 54 on this new TV screen was fascinating! I am spoiled for life now! The picture detail is astoundingly crystal clear, and the colors are so vivid and purty; watching The Wizard of Oz on a screen such as this was like discovering the movie for the very first time. All the praise in the world to actor Chiwetel Ejiofor by the way, who is tremendous as a drag queen in Kinky Boots. And 54 was really interesting, presenting an era long gone, of the most famous discothèque of all time. Sounds like the kind of debaucherous degenerate depraved place I really would have enjoyed going to, if I were allowed to get in, because apparently not just anyone could get into the club. Excess was the word here and then some! My god, an eighty year-old drugged-up grandma dancing the night away, people having sex on the balcony, and celebrities galore! This was the place! The IRS of course, came and ruined all the fun, and so did the dawn of AIDS. One cannot be hedonistic I'm afraid, without consequences. BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Life is just cruel and unfair.

The perfect pop song, much better than her first annoying hit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X75mry1LcFg

WHAT I LOOKED LIKE YESTERDAY.