ADIOS TWO THOUSAND SIX.

Well, they let Saddam's feet swing and he is no more. What a gruesome horrid way to go. There is no year 2007 for you!

For those of us still fortunately here, the end of another year makes me and many I'm sure, very nostalgic and melancholy. I have been through a lot this year, but alas, I survived and am thankful for how truly blessed I am. Every day is a true gift, even those days that challenge my sanity.

I want to thank all my fellow bloggers and loyal readers for coming to this little blog and taking yer time to read my words. That means a lot. And your comments are very cool too. I read them all, sometimes two or three times, and let them just sink in.

A shout out:

-To Bill, you've got a great photographic eye and you're a nut, love ya!

-To La Luna Negra, yer blog needs more updates, but you will forever be my friend no matter what. Since junior high bitch.

-To Brad, yer political pro-Democratic blog makes my brain juices flow. Keep up the good work!

-The Dawg, my favorite pervert whom I wish commented more on here.

-La Siciliana, what happened girl? I miss thee!

-Dave in Aussieland, whose blog has no real description other than unique!

-To Mario, you strike me as a sweet nice dude with a strong purpose in this world.

-Mikey, who has brought tremendous important attention to HIV issues and lives life to the fullest.

-To Sebastien, a cool young dude who has a bright future ahead of him, a terrific sense of humor, and artistic talent.

-G-man, whose love of gadgets, music, photography, and his nephews never ceases, till the end of the world...

-Todd, may all your bloody gory violent Asian film dreams come true and may all yer hot models grace yer bed one day.

-To Mark and his optimistic fun nightclub-style blog that makes me escape the everyday strain of the world.

-Scotty, who lost his mind years ago and is most entertaining with a blog that is beyond bizarre but still highly informative! Disney would be proud!

-M-Filer, you political pop culture whore! You rock! A Madonna-style headstand I dedicate to you.

-Loco Eddie, you strike me as a hot good-looking dude with a big smart brain and good heart. Love from LA to NYC.

-To Pooch, you know how I feel about you. Hasta la muerte...

-My new bud Scot, smile and smile and smile ma friend! Hedwig on stage has to be better and I believe you.

-Darci, who sings her heart out and enjoys my company whenever I see her, bless you and Wifey in 2007.

-Alice, always fond of our times at the old shitty job and love for the Fab Four. Thanks for addicting me to Dawson's Creek. LOL!

-Big D, my big blood brother and protector forever. I love you and forgive you for tormenting me as kid.

-Preciosa, for keeping in touch with yer brother-in-law here and always being just so damn nice and kind towards me.

-To the Gay Guru, who needs ta slow down and gimme a chance to catch up with the greatest most informative action-packed gay blog of all time! WHEW!

I hope I didn't miss anyone, and if I did, feel free to bitch and complain and let me know in the comments section below! HAPPY 2007 TO YE ALL AND LET'S KEEP THIS PARTY GOING!

RIP GODFATHER OF SOUL, THE LEGENDARY AND INCOMPARABLE JAMES BROWN, I WILL MISS YOUR INFECTIOUS LAUGH ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW.

Amen.

JAMES DEAN IS STILL DEAD.

When a loved one or good friend dies on you, it can obviously be devastating.

Celebrities, or well-known people can also impact our lives. Through their work or artistic achievements, we come to identify with them, as if we personally knew them. No matter how rich or famous though, they too eventually die, and it can feel like a tremendous loss for a fan. James Brown just died this week, and I personally feel it's quite sad, I can't imagine what a true fan of his work must be feeling.

When JFK was shot back in 1963, the whole country mourned for days. Millions shed tears for Kennedy, as if they personally knew him, even though to most he was only a picture in the newspaper or image on television. Judy Garland attracted large crowds too, as did the death of Elvis. There was the murder of John Lennon back in 1980 and the tremendous outpouring of love from millions the world over who mourned that man like a dead brother; there were even two actual documented cases of suicide following his death. To this day, Lennon's death really bothers and saddens me, for he was part of my favorite band ever; listening to his voice in songs is not only beautiful, but hauntingly tragic at times.

Not many Americans had heard of Selena, but she became an overnight household name when she was senselessly killed by that bloated bitch back in 1995. There she was, the Queen of Tejano music on the verge of making a huge English-language crossover and at 23 years of age, was stupidly cut short. Like JFK, most Hispanics can remember where they were on that awful day. It truly was a shock. Princess Di's death was a big big deal too. Millions mourned her, like I had never seen before, maybe too much so! I love Elton John, but I could not stand that awful version of Candle in the Wind he re-released with new lyrics. UGH! And so many people bought that single; the best-selling single ever. But I did watch the funeral, as did over one billion people on Earth. I also watched Mother Teresa's funeral. I admired that lady lots. I think she did lots of good while here, and proved to be as close to a saint as humanly possible.

John Kennedy Jr. flew his plane into the sea and my mother cried and cried over that guy. "Era tan guapo", she kept saying, "He was so handsome." Just two months or so after my father's death and that shitty 9/11, another Beatle, George Harrison died of cancer. I was really depressed over that. NOT ANOTHER BEATLE! I was real upset when Nell Carter passed away. I grew up watching Gimme A Break! as a kid. I remember crying at Reagan's funeral, 'cause I felt so bad for Nancy clinging onto his coffin. Maybe I'm just a big sap.

But so it goes man. That's life. That's the way it is. We must never forget that these people we admire or look up to are humans too. Flawed in many ways despite their enormous talents or contributions, and most certainly mortal. Like a cherished individual we personally know and care for, a noted personality we identify with can also sadden us greatly when they enter immortality.

George Harrison was right. All Things Must Pass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndXJTQwazIc

"DENY ME AND BE DOOMED."

I'm late to the game sometimes.

I just watched Madonna's I'm Going to Tell You a Secret documentary and it was purty good. Not as great as her original Truth or Dare documentary back in the early 90s when she truly ruled the world, but this was interesting nonetheless. Madonna seems much kinder and nicer this time around and definitely more spiritual. Her kids are quite beautiful. Her son Rocco is adorable. Little brat! And of course, it doesn't surprise me that the accompanying concert footage of her Re-Invention Tour is spectacular. As always, Madge is just amazing on stage. She should just die there when it's her time. She does a fantastic version of Like A Prayer too, and her live vocals generally sound good.

Ah, but the big discovery this past weekend for me was my first viewing of the 2001 musical/comedy/drama film Hedwig and the Angry Inch. It is wonderful to view something like this with no expectations and come away from it feeling like you just viewed something truly marvelous. This little movie is a gem; about a rock and roll drag queen with a botched-up genital operation who performs at small diners across America with her band while her rival has taken all her fame and glory. Hedwig and the Angry Inch is a visual and musical feast; a sort of genderbending Moulin Rouge!

A funny, witty, creative, and most entertaining film based I believe on an original Broadway show; director/star John Cameron Mitchell is remarkable as the lead character Hedwig, who was born in East Germany back when there was still a Berlin Wall. He narrates his life experiences and the film brilliantly cuts to his performances of some wonderfully written songs. I loved the music so much so, that I had to download the entire soundtrack yesterday. It's that catchy; a hybrid most reminiscent of David Bowie and Elton John's early work.

This little movie is now about five years old. Where have I been? After seeing it without any prior hardcore knowledge, I went ahead and read the reviews, and without a doubt it was lauded and praised by many.

I can see why.

SO THIS IS CHRISTMAS.

I can't think of anyone who does not love or get emotional when they hear John Lennon's 1971 classic song Happy Xmas (War Is Over). I've done it for karaoke every year for a while now and time and time again people come up to me and say how much that song makes them wanna cry. It is indeed a most beautiful tune, ruined unfortunately when Yoko Ono comes in and starts yelping like a mad hound. UGH! Oh well, we give the song four stars nonetheless, for its amazing and tragic message against war, most specifically against Vietnam, which was raging at the time the track was released:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8jw-ifqwkM

And then there's good ole' Tiny Tim. Remember him? R.I.P. Tim. He was so famous with that ukulele back in the 60s and was quite the strange character. He gave us this fine fine song about Santa being a bit under the weather:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1Hg0T171gs

Okay, it's a bit tasteless I know, but somehow I find this wickedly funny. MOOHOOHAHA!

To all of you who are reading this, and most especially to ye faithful reader/blogger friends, have a great holiday weekend! Peace, love, and good health to ye always!

May Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump have a fantastic Christmas dinner together in loving peace and harmony! HOOHOOHAHA!

MERRY FREAKIN' CHRISTMAS!

"I DON'T WANNA DIE, SOMETIMES I WISH I'D NEVER BEEN BORN AT ALL!"

There is no greater frontman, lead singer, or representative of a rock band than the late great Farrokh Bulsara, better known to the world as Freddie Mercury. He was by far, the best lead singer/showman in rock history.

I was reading a bit of his bio today, and was a little surprised to find out that Freddie was born in Zanzibar to Indian parents! Yep yep. Freddie grew up eating lots of curry! HAHA! He eventually moved to his adopted homeland England and was not too keen on revealing to the world what his true background was, so many just assumed he was English; must have been the overbite, which he often said he wanted to correct, but was afraid to for fear it would do something to his voice. He would often cover his mouth when smiling or laughing, for he was a bit self-conscious of the trait.

And so, as we all know, Freddie made it very big with his phenomenal rock band QUEEN which churned out some of the finest rock songs ever made. Stadiums the world over still play We Will Rock You and We Are the Champions, which many hold as sports anthems about victory, yet ironically are nothing but songs about the gay rights movement. Yes, all those fanatical sports-loving straight boys probably have no idea. And who can forget QUEEN'S greatest song ever: Bohemian Rhapsody? A most strange ballad, operatic, hard rock masterpiece which stands as one of the supreme all-time rock songs in history. I defy anyone to try and sing this at karaoke. It's almost impossible. The other bandmates did help write some of the group's songs, but it was Mercury who had the songwriting talent above them all. Let's not discredit the other members either mind you; they were excellent musicians and Brian May's guitar-playing skills are quite impressive, severely underrated even.

QUEEN was among the pioneer bands that used stadiums/arenas for rock concerts and used to put on quite a show. The logo for the band was actually designed by Mercury himself, a most regal crest looking design indeed. The band's name was appropriate alright: they seemed bigger than life, grandiose, over-the-top, glam, and almost outrageous for their time.

Many assume that Freddie was 100% gay, but he did date and shag girls too, one in particular was his girlfriend in the 70s and he said that he had never fallen in love with anyone like her. He often searched for love, but never really found it with other men, and was thus, quite sadly, very lonely. Somehow and most unfortunately along his sexual exploits, our beloved Freddie contracted that fucking HIV, which blew up into that cruel shitty AIDS and well...in 1991 Freddie died. Gone was this spectacular entertainer with the incredible voice.

But the legacy remains. QUEEN is most def among the finest rock bands ever. Yeah yeah, they're still trying to go at it with some other lead singer, but come on. There's no way. No way it can or ever will be the same again.

Without Freddie, QUEEN is truly no more.

THOSE WERE THE DAYS.

How time flies! And how technology changes!

This year marks the tenth anniversary of my usage of the Internet! Ten freakin' years! I remember first running into the World Wide Web back in 1996 when I was a student at CSUN and in my very early twenties. What a truly remarkable creation/invention! Mind you, the Net was really primitive back then, but my first encounter with it left me purty fascinated. I was the last generation to grow up without the Internet; we had to go to the library and search for books, newspapers, magazines, and microfilm for our research papers. Kids and college students have it much easier today doggone it! In my day! Shit, I really feel old now.

I had an old computer my brother Charles passed along to me, and I remember my other older brother N coming to my house lots during that Fall of 96 to work on the ancient thang, basically helping me build it up from scratch. I was finally able to log on from home for the first time ever using dial-up and how sweet it was. Slow as hell, but sweet! There it was! Webpages! News! All kinds of information at my fingertips! And porn! Easy and accessible porn! Back then of course, it was really only still pictures, but that was enough to get me off! It was at the time too, that I was struggling with my sexuality, so this World Wide Wait was a godsend. I could go into chat rooms and talk to people I would otherwise never have met.

Yeah, and those were the days my home computer was still on the Windows 3.1 operating system. And the browser par excellence was Netscape Navigator! HOLY COW MAN! That truly was the Stone Age. Damn pages loaded up real slow though. That was pretty exasperating. I recall the hype surrounding the release of EVITA too. That movie was getting lots of attention as the big Christmas release at the time.

So all these blogs, MySpace, mp3s, iPod, and other cyber innovations, here we are...

Ten years later.

POP/ROCK MUSIC LYRICS QUIZ!!!

Okay. How well do ya think ya know your musak? HUH?! HUH??!!

Alright, this quiz is only ten questions long, but not that easy! I will accept artist alone or song title, but ideally, both. Covering all kinds of hits from the 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, and present loser decade, see if you can recognize these song lyrics:

1) "...and now it's all right, it's O.K. and you may look the other way. We can try to understand The New York Times' effect on man...."

2) "...if there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now, it's just a spring clean for the May queen..."

3) "...snap back to reality, OHH - there goes gravity OHH - there goes Rabbit, he choked he's so mad, but he won't give up that easy nope, he won't have it..."

4) "...they call me Thomas last name Crown, recognize game I'm a lay mine's down..."

5) "...the pretty nurse is selling poppies from a tray, and tho' she feels as if she's in a play, she is anyway..."

6) "...hide it in a hiding place where no one ever goes, put it in your pantry with your cupcakes..."

7) "... don't try to run I can keep up with you, nothing can stop me from trying, you've got to..."

8) "...you have to show them that you're really not scared you're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare they'll kick you, then they beat you, then they'll tell you it's fair..."

9) "...it's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are... you and me I can see us dying...are we?"

10) "...out from the barrio, you hear my rhythm from your radio, you feel the turning of the world so soft and slow, turning you round and round..."

Think you can answer this?

THE RETURN.

I've been trying to post comments on certain blogs that I regularly like to read and am unable to. What gives man?! Probably Blogger and its glitches as it moves into its Beta format which we'll all have to succumb to eventually I suppose.

So, after a five-month hiatus or so from the gym, I made my glorious return yesterday! I went kicking and screaming of course after work, and although it was a bit rough to get back into my routine, I did it! Yeah, it was nice to go back to that pervasive foot and ass smell which permeates the entire facility! Nice ta see all those dedicated hot muscular dudes doing their usual thing once again. Here I was, Mr. Punyverse, El Flaco, skinny ass me going back to try and tone up in the very least like I once was able to amazingly do back in 2003. I actually bulked up quite nicely there for a while.

This past year however has been very tumultuous for me. I moved back in May, and adjusting to a new place and shelling out more money has definitely been stressful. So my anxiety has shot up quite considerably, and contrary to most people, I lose weight when overly stressed instead of gaining it. Yeah, lucky me you say, but the last thing I want is to lose weight, when my constant goal is to gain. I have the opposite problem of Obese America, and it's just as annoying. The only thing that keeps me feeling better and regularly normal is the gym, so I felt I had to go back yesterday. Gotta burn all the negative energy and toxins. Gotta help that sex drive, appetite, and sleeping patterns. Gotta go and check out the hotties too! YAHOOEY!

I mean, there's a good number of straight people working out at this gym of mine ya know? But so many, and I mean SO MANY there are gay men with wandering eyes, especially when one hits tha sauna or showers. Yeah, yeah, I won't lie, I like to reward myself with a good look or two after a good workout. Sometimes it's not pretty though. The fat old oogly trolls are in there, fondling themselves, thinking they still got it going on as they maybe once did decades ago. Once in a while, I'll get lucky and run into a nice looking specimen. Who knows? A glance or two? Flirt here and there? OH THE DEPRAVITY!

Here's hoping I can keep my routine of at least three times a week going forever as I once did.

Wish me luck will ya?

AN INCONVENIENT AND TERRIBLY WORRISOME PROBLEM.

Former Vice President Al Gore's seminar on global warming is effectively captured on film in the documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, which I just finished watching; a movie now on DVD which ya gotta see folks!

I must say, this film provokes lots of thought and is actually quite depressing. The Industrial Revolution was a great technological advancement in the history of humanity, but it has brought with it lots of terrible consequences to our planet. The massive daily burning of fossil fuels and release of tremendous amounts of carbon dioxide into our atmosphere for decades has finally begun to take its toll on our ecosystem. Gore claims that it is due to all of this uncontrolled burning through factories, automobile use, and general human activity that we are now experiencing an alarming rise in atmospheric temperatures causing all sorts of secondary problems. The worst offender in all of this, the country with the most responsibility for this problem? You got it, The United States. Ironically, Gore does all this traveling by plane and car to spread his message! HAHA! More burning of fuel! But hey, at least he's taking positive action somehow.

The film is very effective in that Gore keeps your attention throughout the 90 minutes. He uses very good graphs, charts, and pics to prove his points. The guy has been on this bandwagon since the 1970s and knows his shit well. I would say Gore is a true hero and pioneer and has been trying to get attention in Washington D.C. on this problem for years, but says that no one wanted to listen, until only recently. He even addresses the skeptics and naysayers, often comparing them to those doctors and scientists who used to believe smoking did not cause cancer.

The dramatic before and after photographs of mountains covered with snow and once majestic glaciers is very disturbing. He shows various places that only twenty or thirty years ago were frozen, now looking like dry or almost parched land. This is very shocking indeed. The quick and rapid melting right before our eyes of the North Pole, Antarctica, and Greenland are also covered, and this spells grave danger for sea levels as Gore shows how Florida and other major places around the world will be under water soon if the melting doesn't stop. PRETTY FUCKING SCARY!

The size and intensity of hurricanes will only get worse, coral reefs are dying as ocean temps get dangerously warmer, and the worst off in all of this: animals. Our living wonderful brethren are suffering and dwindling. Penguins, polar bears, caribou, fish and other living creatures are all dying out or in disarray due to the melting of ice and other significant changes due to human activity. It almost brought me to tears to see the computer animation in the documentary of a lone polar bear drowning after having to swim for miles and miles trying to look for a decent piece of ice to rest on and finding none, which scientists say is actually happening.

That we are responsible for great achievements in thought, architecture, and art is horribly contradicted in the damage we've inflicted upon our one and only home: EARTH. How tragic. We are the most destructive and selfish of all the living species on here. Gore does offer hope that we can begin to change our ways and perhaps thwart or even reverse some of the damage, but the film left me feeling very doomed nonetheless. There is hope in that population growth is actually showing signs of control, but we will still go from six and half billion now to 9 billion by 2050.

Here we are, the lone blue miracle jewel in space. Our one and only home. What have we done? WHAT HAVE WE DONE?! I guess we can all do something at least now and take some action. Doing our part is better than just doing nothing right?

As Gore says, "This is a moral issue."

Yes Al, it is. It truly is.

LOVE: CD REVIEW.

Today marks yet another tragic anniversary of the senseless murder of John Lennon.

How fitting then, that yesterday, I finally went to Target and purchased the new LOVE album which is getting rave reviews. This is the music one hears at the actual Cirque du Soleil show in Las Vegas which opened earlier this year at The Mirage. It is probably the next best thing to actually going to the show, which many are calling brilliant.

My thoughts on this CD? Well, it is certainly quite beautiful to listen to. George Martin and his son have produced a most interesting sound collage: mixing Beatles songs on top of each other, blending them together, fading one track into another, and reworking classics with new digital techniques never before available. There really is nothing new here, but then again, I've listened to The Beatles ad nauseam at this point, and know their song catalogue like the back of my hand. To the ardent Beatles fan like myself, this is a satisfying piece of work, but nothing new nor groundbreaking. Many of the demos and alternate takes featured on the Anthologies are in here, which my ear by now is very accustomed to, but would sound terrific to a semi-Beatles fan.

What is fantastic here is the digital quality of some of the songs. I Am The Walrus never sounded more glorious and it's about damn time! For years, the best digital quality of that song was from the CD version of the Blue Album, and that was pretty atrocious, especially when the song goes into the bridge. On the LOVE album, it sounds crisp, clear, and downright majestic. Revolution also never sounded better, as do Here Comes the Sun, Hey Jude, Get Back, and other tunes so many of us are all too familiar with. Bass lines are enhanced, guitar licks sound fresh, new sound effects are used, and the songs sound as if they were recorded yesterday.

For the casual, amateur, or occasional Beatles fan, this CD should be a real treat. A must have. Why not shell out the fourteen bucks and get yourself something cool, something unheard of, something different? It is well worth it. As a Beatlemaniac, I would recommend this too, but don't expect anything new or super earth-shattering, except a new audio feast of some old classics.

This album gets three out of four possible stars.

Four, if you're high.

PRESIDENT RODHAM?

Damnit kids, this could be it. This could be Hillary Clinton's chance to run and actually win the highest office in the land! 2008 is well damn almost near! She's really mulling it over too. All the plastic surgery and years of living the good life have made her more appealing to the cameras too, cause she wasn't quite the looker then. Ahem.

I'm sure conservative judgmental assholes out there are barely trying to recover from the ass whoopin' they got a month ago when the Democrats took over Congress, and now comes the true possibility that Bill's wife is actually seriously considering running for the presidency. She's been Senator now for quite a few good years and they seem to love her in New York State, even though she barely knew anything at all about the damn place, yet she still won!

Personally, I feel Hillary is a phony. She comes across as a real bitch and overly power hungry. Almost insincere even. Her background with Bill was one of real scandal, especially when it came to that Whitewater shit. And yet, I would probably vote for HELLary. Yeah, I would. We need a woman in office finally. It's been way too long. Forty-three hetero white men has been enough. Bring in da bitch! Hell, I already got female supervisors up my crack at work, might as well have one running the big show at the White House. Politics is a dirty business anyway, so let her go at it. Can't be any worse than what we've been dealing with for the past six years, and Rodham would actually do much good like her husband tried to back in the 90s.

You go HELLary! Give 'em hell! Lord knows you already were kinda on top of things when yer hubby Bill was in power. So much so that you stressed the man into having affairs with all kinds of skanks! Or maybe he's just an adulterous pig like most men. HAHA! The point is, I feel Mrs. ClinTOON could get the job done regardless of how I feel about her.

Look out though. That Barack Obama is very strong. And if Oprah were to run, then Hillary can forget about ever winning! HARDEEHARHAR!

I don't know how ready America is for a female president though. This country is still so backward. Maybe we'll have a black president before a female. And certainly never a homosexual!

Certainly not.

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS AND MAJESTY.

Gwyneth Paltrow. Gwyny Gwyn Goo Goo.

She recently said that she enjoys her new life in England with her husband (the lead singer of Coldplay) and her child. She said that the English are much more civilized and that she enjoys conversing with them and spending time with the Europeans because they are much more profound and intelligent than us puny Americans. She loves the fact too, that she's practically neighbors with Madonna who lives just a few doors down from her! Imagine that!

I got something for ya bitch. A fist sandwich! Well excuse me Miss Thang! You are an American! You were born to a pretty privileged family that was already in the entertainment business! You are pretty lucky! Born and raised in these States. You gots lots o' money! Most of us can't afford a big nice mansion, let alone moving to a new high quality classy life across the Atlantic.

I think she's already apologizing and crap for this, but STILL! Why did that movie Shakespeare in Love win the Best Picture Oscar by the way? It should have gone to Saving Private Ryan back in 1998. And why did Gwyneth Paltrow win the Best Actress Oscar for that film? Everyone knows Cate Blanchett deserved it much more than Paltrow did for her tremendous performance in Elizabeth.

Oh well, the tale of another rich spoiled bitch talking trash, then trying to save face. You may love all those crumpets and tea time, but remember:

America made you.

6 WEIRD THINGS ABOUT ME.

Because good ole' Sebastien tagged me, I gots ta comply. Here goes kids:

1) Even though I'm gay, I think if I were straight, I'd wanna marry someone like Jennifer Garner. I find her so adorable, so cute, and purty. Aw shucks Earl, I'm blushing now! I don't even watch her show ALIAS at all and have only seen her in a few films here and there, but I think the girl's very attractive and has an incredible glowing personality that comes across on screen. I have seen her in interviews and she seems like the nicest sweetest girl. Good choice Ben Affleck. Even though I think you're a boring actor in tons of horrible motion pictures,you married the right girl. And Jennifer, you did marry quite a good looking dude too.

2) I love stuffed animals. Yep. I often imagine them as actual living creatures with hearts and souls. I hate to see them torn to pieces, mistreated, or beaten. It's as if a real animal were getting abused or something. I know it's silly, but stuffed animals are very comforting. Yeah, I know, a grown man like myself admitting this, but I was tagged okay?! SHEESH! I freakin' cried at the end of A.I. when that talking stuffed bear just sits there as the camera pans out the window. Devastating!

3) I love to eat applesauce and cottage cheese. Ya ever tried it? It's freakin' good. Yep. A couple of tablespoons of nice old-fashioned Mott's Applesauce and Knudsen Cottage Cheese in a cereal bowl and damn! That's some good shit. And healthy! Also like the cottage cheese with that fruit cocktail and all that venomous syrup that comes in those cans. YUMMY!

4) I believe I was a hardcore liberal hippie that died of a drug-induced suicide back in 1970 or so in my past life. I couldn't deal with The Beatles breaking up or something! And I also knew Mozart in a past life. My name was Justin Braunhilius and I helped him write down opera notes and crap in some of the theaters where they were rehearsed/performed. I also knew Jesus of Nazareth! That's right! I was Simon Peter, and who are you to judge or question me?! LOL!

5) I get very self-conscious sometimes having to get a haircut. Yeah. There she/he is. Staring at my freaking head. Cutting it. Looking at my face. I have to sit still. With that God awful tight cape thang/towel around my neck. While the artiste does their job. And alls I can do is stare into the mirror. Am I sweaty? Do I smell? What are they thinking of me as they cut my hair and stare right directly at me? They can see my moles or current breakout! It really is quite an invasive procedure!

6) And last but not least on this list of bizarro facts about me: I write some brilliant ass tunes in my head, just as I'm about to go to sleep or even as I'm dreaming. No joke! I can hear the completed original pop/rock song in my head, perfectly produced as you would hear it on an album. It's just that when I wake up, I don't really remember them anymore. The trick would be to jolt myself out of near sleep or deep sleep itself, get a small tape recorder and hum them into it and then play them out on a portable keyboard and record them and shit, but I don't make time, although I often say that soon I will record again, and gosh darnit, I really should. I did do some demos six years ago from songs that just burst out of me consciously. But it's near and during real sleep that my masterful Beatles/Radiohead/Scissor Sisters/Elton John songwriting brain comes to life. HAHA!

The end.

WHY?

--Why is YouTube always down for maintenance?

--Why is it so cold on the sunniest brightest days?

--Why is Xmas being shoved down our throats earlier and earlier every year at stores across America?

--Why did Michael Jackson screw up such a brilliant pop music career?

--Why do trendy young American women drive like maniacs?

--Why does food taste so good after 10p.m and into the wee hours of the night?

--Why doesn't the White House just admit that Iraq is in a civil war?

--Why is every website now using that Beta designation?

--Why don't all brothers and sisters from the same parents come out identical if it's always the sperm and eggs from the same two people?

--Why does Kirk Cameron seem so damn righteous?

--Why is Abe Vigoda still alive? Actually, HOW??!!

--Why does the time to get ready for work in the morning go by so fast, yet the time at work in the morning go by so slow?

--Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near? ;)

--Why do I have the worst reception with my cell phone carrier?

--Why do the front of my briefs stretch out over time?

--Why do we own so many DVD's we never really watch?

--Why can't the cool decent folk live forever and the mean evil ones die off for good?

--Why do ugly parents have nice looking kids sometimes or nice looking parents have ugly kids?

Perhaps you have the answers faithful reader/blogger or your own questions?

MY BODY IS A TEMPLE.

It wasn't bad enough that I stayed up late partying Wednesday night, but also Thursday and Friday, eating the wrong foods and going to bed at ridiculous stupid times. Well, my body kicked my ass good and by Saturday night I was violently ill.

I thought I was going to die. I have never regretted nor repented from all my mistakes/sins like I did this past weekend. Food is only barely starting to taste any good if ya catch my drift.

Dear God man. This is a wake up call. I'm supposed to be a moderate person, not an extreme stupid asshole that doesn't take care of himself.

God, you have spoken.

Lesson learned.

"IN THE EVIDENCE OF ITS BRILLIANCE."

Wow.

So I (and almost every gay man here in LA and probably across the country) watched the NBC airing Wednesday night of Madonna's Confessions Tour. I was most impressed I must say. That in her late forties Madonna can still move and dance and keep up in the manner that she displayed is downright admirable. The three hours of exercise/yoga and healthy living she adheres to on a daily basis have really have paid off. Madge looks and performs fantastically. A terrific entertainer/performer in every aspect.

I don't know if Madonna uses pre-recorded vocals, but her voice sounded pretty cool too. She never was the best singer, but after all that dancing and moving around, she still has a good decent voice. Many of her older songs were given a new disco/dance twist, and they were very pleasing to the ear: Erotica, La Isla Bonita, Like A Virgin, and Music.

Of course, my skinny gay ass could not review this show without commenting on her dancers. The boys are just so cute! Honest ta God! In perfect shape and wonderful on stage. Very ethnic, sharply dressed, and a joy to watch. Their acrobatics and intense physical prowess are quite extraordinary to witness. My two favorites in the looks department: the white boy with skater hair and the Hispanic boy with short cropped hair. Just saying, LOL!

The highlight of the show though: Madonna comes out in a feathered-collar black rocker S&M-style suit sporting an electric guitar. TRULY WICKED! LOVED IT! HELLS YEAH! She did this I believe for her I Love New York and Ray of Light numbers. That was too rad! Ya know, Madonna did start out in some amateur rock band when she was trying to make it back in the day, so seeing her like this was actually kindo cool. Definitely my favorite part of the show.

Great concert. Can't wait for the DVD, so I can watch the deleted Live to Tell cross bit. They did show her wearing the crown of thorns though. Interesting.

Fucking great show. Yes sir.

FIERCE!

IT'S ALL A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE.

"YES SIR, STAFF SERGEANT SIR!"

So I watched this movie called Jarhead over the weekend with red hot Jakey G., who's always fun to look at of course.

I've watched lots and lots of war movies over the years, and generally most of them are very violent, gory, and disturbing. The Deer Hunter, Apocalypse Now, Saving Private Ryan, and Full Metal Jacket come immediately to mind. Jarhead was different in that it focused more on boot camp and then being deployed to Saudi Arabia while awaiting to fight the first Persian Gulf War back in the early 90s. I found it most interesting to see what life is like being in the Marine Corps.

Even if you're not at war, it looks just plain miserable! MISERABLE to be enlisted! I mean, I dunno how I would feel having to get up at the buttcrack of dawn and being screamed at to follow orders. A lot of the guys enlisted are pretty low class, brutal, and cruel. It's almost as if a man's emotional side is torn to pieces and made to disappear. The behavior of these dudes closely resembles that of males in junior high who just started puberty. All these guys have left girlfriends, wives, gay lovers, parents, and others back at home and are forced to live and interact with each other. They're frustrated and sexually tense, and serving in a hot desert climate like the Middle East or the humid tropics like they did in Vietnam must not help either.

So they spend most of their days in basic training at first, then just lounging around shining their rifles, smoking, masturbating, reading, masturbating some more, probably humping each other, and all other sorts of mundane trivial diversions to pass the time. A lot of their behavior seems very very gay. Men are real weird like that. Testosterone makes them act and do really strange things, and so many of them in close quarters is not necessarily a good thing. All this seems to lead many of them to kinda lose their minds and turn into emotional wrecks. Sure, they have to hide this very well, but a lot of them seem to lose it, even while stationed out there.

So many of them come back with traumas, anxiety disorders, depression, and a general feeling of loneliness and emptiness. It's quite sad. Many who served in the first Persian Gulf War came back with strange flu-like symptoms. Others have gone on to kill family and loved ones or committed suicide. Serving in the military (as Jarhead and many other movies have shown), takes its toll on one's psyche. Coming back to live a regular life is not easy, and many are never really able to cope. They become used to holding those weapons, killing, and hanging out with their hardcore male buds.

Many come back to the monotony of the real world, to girlfriends who have perhaps cheated and moved on, or to kids and bigger responsibilities. As Jakey G.'s character pointed out however, ya never stop being a jarhead.

My respects to all serving in Iraq or those who did in the past.

It takes balls.

ON THE NEXT OPRAH!

Debra Wilson was one of the original cast members of MADtv and was on the show for quite a few years. Her impression of Oprah Winfrey was probably her best and was nothing short of hilarious!

Here are my two favorite Oprah sketches she did:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVpH0tX6kmk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f6t6jPNlw2w

CALLING 911!

This has got to be quite possibly, the stupidest most selfish ridiculous trivial banal woman ever!

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/bk.html

That's right. Someone whose life was in actual danger was blocked by this worthless c**t wasting the 911 operator's time.

Back to your SUV and pesky bratty kids you go!

UGH.

SAY NO TO DRUGS AND ALCOHOL...WELL, SORTA.

I always wondered why people liked drugs and alcohol so much...THAT was before I turned 28 however, and discovered the reasons myself.

Ya see, hanging around certain beloved friends at bars does lead to peer pressure, and well, I encountered alcohol alright. All my precious little innocent naive life, I had stayed away from the stuff, never realizing the nice buzz and serenity it could actually create. It works very well with someone like myself who suffers from anxiety disorder in really mellowing me out. The unfortunate side of alcohol for me however, is that it can actually make my anxiety worse once it wears off and leave me more depressed than I already normally am. It turns my highly existential wasteland of a mind and leaves me more screwed up, which is why I have not become an alcoholic. This is a good thing! I can drink very little and in moderation, but I gotta be careful not to overdo it! Keeps me in check baby. No AA meetings for me anytime soon.

Even more recently is my newfound relationship with marijuana. Yeah. The stuff is amazing really. The first few times it made me rather paranoid, but subsequent experiences with this herb have been rather gratifying. It certainly mellows me out considerably and makes me extremely hungry, which is great for a thin dude like myself who can afford to eat! I also love the fact that unlike alcohol, the chronic is actually very good to my stomach and leaves me with no strange or awful hangover the next day. And sex on pot? ARE U KIDDING ME?! THAT IS SOME AMAZING SHIT! Talk about incredible longlasting orgasms! I mean, it's enough to make yer toes curl, eyes pop out, and maybe even burst a vein or two in yer head.

Yeah, but besides all the sex and munching on cannabis, the most satisfying aspect of the drug has got to be listening to music. I don't know where tha hell I've been, but the stuff on my iPod never sounded so gloriously good than when stoned. No wonder so many teenage boys would lock themselves in their rooms in the 60s and 70s and get high. Listening to The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Radiohead, Gorillaz, and anything modern with lots of sound effects like Madonna's last album whilst high is downright mindblowing; every instrument sounds crystal clear, vocals are enhanced, and the songs just make perfect sense!

Yes. I finally get it. So much music was inspired by pot and even stronger drugs obviously. I have been slow to learn all these facts most of ye readers figured out when in your teens. I obviously led a very sheltered closeted life. In more ways than one, haha!

I fear anything more hardcore like crystal meth, cocaine, or acid. Those substances sound too consuming and destructive, although so many across America are seriously abusing them, including people I know, which has me kind of worried.

I understand now why: why so many use and abuse. It makes one happy. It makes one forget the reality of our banal existences. For that brief moment, one feels in control. One feels able to do it all. There is no fear. There is no self-doubt or low self-esteem. Being buzzed/drunk or high liberates so many from the pressures of daily life. Yes, I see why, but am in no way advocating anyone to use, much less abuse these drugs, for there can be terrible consequences if taken too far.

So yeah, once or twice a month I may continue trying some pot here and there without becoming a full time stoner and just sit back and relax. Hey,the Native Americans did it (or was that peyote?), so it's cool okay? Moderation is key.

Bring on the Pink Floyd.

WHAT IF WE SUDDENLY DISAPPEARED?

I've seen this on other blogs, and found it quite astounding. Ya might wanna click on the actual image to enlarge or use a magnifying glass to read it better.

And yeah, this article:

http://www.newscientist.com/channel/life/mg19225731.100

PEOPLE THAT SHOULD DIE.

George Carlin, needless to say, is a comic legend, a genius with some of the wackiest observations on human/American behavior ever. He's funny because what he says is simply so true!

He's definitely aging. He used to be so lean and cute! But his mind is as sharp and bitter as ever!

I laugh, I laugh, I laugh, and I laugh:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAW0wnj0Xi8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wA6IpfMUco

IT'S THAT STINGER AIN'T IT?

I don't necessarily believe astrology is 100% accurate or an exact science, but in my life, Scorpios have played a major role. Since I'm a Cancer, Scorpios and I are instantly attracted to each other and form immediate strong bonds/relationships as good good friends; we're in that season where all Scorpios are having birthdays.

And oh yes, Scorpios are extremely charming when I first meet them. They're quite funny, witty, and very easygoing with a slight wicked side that makes them very intriguing. This pleasant and nice side to them lasts a good while until they entrap me into hanging out with them often and doing their every whim practically.

Ah, but slowly but surely, Scorpios reveal their sick twisted evil side. And I hate it. They are extremely selfish. It's their way or no way. They only want to go to the movies they want to see, the places they wanna visit, or generally do the things they want to do. If they don't get their way, heaven help me and the rest of humanity! They'll whine, complain, and instantly turn into immature bratty 3 year-olds. It's quite irritating and disappointing really. Manipulative jealous people they be! UGH!

It's this selfishness that really turns me off to them. I am not just referring to any particular Scorpio either. At least five of the major friends I've known and loved in my life are Scorpios. And they all seem to have followed the same pattern. What gives?! Why do you always feel like you've been wronged? It's all in yer imagination! It really is! Let go of the bitterness, selfishness, and you'll be a much happier person! Really!

You evil insane bastards. Not all Scorpios of course.

But a good portion of you. Can't ya see that although us Cancers can defend ourselves real well against your onslaughts, we are very sensitive and are hurt by your stupid behavior?

THE MIDTERM REVOLUTION.

I went to vote after work. Yeah, I voted all Democratic, due to my current disgust with the conservative asshole Republican party that often likes ta make me feel like crap just 'cause I'm gay. Bunch of hypocrites! Thanks Pastor Haggard for proving the point! HEEHEE!

That idiot ex-bodybuilder movie star Arnold won his governor seat here in California again. He's just popular and had no real competition from that other bore he was running against. Oh well. One of my coworkers hilariously admitted to me that he voted for Schwarzenegger only because his signature would look great on his upcoming college diploma. OKAY DUDE!

The House is now in control of the Dems and that Nancy Pelosi chick has now increased her power to ultimately becoming Speaker of the House. Even more of a juggernaut is Hillary Clinton, who now has a real fighting chance to run for the presidency in 2008. Go Hillary! Even though I think she's a phony lying witch, I'd still vote for her. The bitch can get the job done, as was evidenced during the 90's when she ran her husband around like a puppet. So stressed was Bill from dealing with HELLary that the poor guy had to relieve his tension with Monica.

Several states had gay marriage bans, and of course they all passed, except in Arizona! Not surprising really, as most of this country still has issues with homoness. "You're all fine hairdressers, decorators, actors, musicians, singers, dancers, and friends, but please don't tie the knot okay? We don't wanna sanction your perverse lifestyle just yet." Heterosexual marriage works best of course, even though most of them end in divorce now. Uh huh. Bravo to Arizona though! Who knew all that desert could help clear tha mind?

Also voted out of office: Kevin Federline! Yeah yeah! Britney finally woke up and is ready ta throw that fool out! One of my sources tells me Federloser performed on Halloween here in LA at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival last week and was massively booed by the crowd there. How embarrassing! Good luck Federino. You dumbass louse. Now Britney can go back ta making bad, yet catchy records again!

As I write this, the control of the Senate has not yet been decided, but the last few key states look close and may just go to the Dems as well. There has been massive voter turnout today, an estimated 85 million Americans.

I never voted for Bushy, but wanted to support him regardless after 9/11. I really felt he had the power and popularity then to become a true leader. What a letdown he has been however. Maybe I gave him way too much credit? Maybe I was being too patriotic and felt hurt by the terrorists? Alls I know is that I've had it with all this censorship and conservative bullshit. That war in Iraq is just plain embarrassing now and it irks me ta have ta look at the pics of so many hot young soldiers dying there.

The Fox News Channel people look worried and freaked out; a channel that has been traditionally conservative and pro-Republican. Shepard Smith has the worst make-up/plastic surgery I have ever seen!

Well, not as bad as Greta Van Susteren of course!

But close!

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MUSHROOM CLOUD.

In case you've ever wondered what it must've been like the moment Hiroshima suffered the first ever atomic bomb dropped on humans, here's a magnificent re-creation done by the BBC for some program they did on this historic event which took place on August 6, 1945:

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/183651/hiroshima/

Many thanks to Wolfie for sending me this very interesting clip; nothing like watching people get burned, radiated, and disintegrated instantly!

Can you imagine the power of this most horrifying and awesome of weapons? And to think that the atomic bombs back then were not even as powerful as the nuclear weapons of today. Iran, North Korea, and many other nations and terrorists are now vying to own their own weapons just to prove their might and possibly drop one on the United States someday.

God I hope I'm at ground zero if that were to happen, then I can be vaporized immediately.

Like the Japanese dude in that clip there.

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO?

For a country that suffered such a devastating terrorist attack on 9/11/01, I often see that many have still not learned the valuable lesson of loving thy neighbor, nor the fact that life is truly brief. Why must there still be so many people that act stupid and mean to each other? WHY?! This is America damnit! WHY ARE WE STILL FULL OF SO MANY ASSHOLES?!

People in traffic can be so mean and nasty: they cut you off, show ya the finger, or don't allow you to merge. At work: other fellow employees will report you, supervisors will stupidly call you on ridiculous trivialities instead of noticing your good work, and there's constant issues with clients and customers coming off the street. Family can sometimes be your worst enemy too, which is why many people choose their friends as family, due to relatives always meddling or trying to tear ya to pieces. Ya try to say hello to a neighbor, and they don't respond back, even though they clearly heard you, yet they pretend not to have and give you the cold shoulder.

I just want to understand why it is so hard for some people to be kind. What's so hard about a simple smile or hello? Why not try and be nice to other fellow human beings? Why must the human species always feel the need to look down on others? Is it in our nature to be competitive? Dominant? Condescending? Combative? Racist? Selfish? Greedy? Envious? Is it in our genes to always listen to our egos and feel superior, instead of letting go? Must our insecurities translate to hurting others?

I dunno. I'm sure I'm guilty from time to time of being an asshole myself, but I often only use it as a defense mechanism, not as a way of starting out nor maintaining my relations with anyone. I am one of those people who will smile or say hello to a stranger and tries to be as down-to-earth as possible. Yet time and time again, I run into a vast sea of negative humanity, and it truly disappoints me. It makes me quite sad that people have not yet mastered the true meaning of life.

We were put onto this planet to be kind, to serve, and to help and love one another. But yet, we waste so much of it fighting, bickering, insulting, degrading, and demoralizing others, and for what? FOR WHAT?! Does humanity not see that our time on this Earth is limited? That we shall all get sick and die eventually? That at the rate our planet is being destroyed and resources being used up, that our existence as a species is in severe danger? I just don't enjoy conflict whatsoever, nor wasting my time with negativity. I often realize the big picture, which many I feel just don't. It really isn't that hard to be nice people. Ya don't have to act like a fake 1950's perfect housewife, but at least try to show some love and respect to another fellow adult like you would to a puppy or newborn child.

This all probably sounds overly corny and cheesy, but I have written it from the heart. I am severely disappointed in us as a species. For many reasons. God bless those who try and make a difference and treat their fellow human with respect and love as much as possible; they seem to be a rare and precious commodity these days.

It reminds me of a saying I often hear in Spanish: "Entre más conozco a la humanidad, más quiero a mi perro."

Which means:

"The more I get to know humanity, the more I love my dog."

"I DON'T SHUT UP, I GROW UP, AND WHEN I LOOK AT YOU, I THROW UP!"

There was a little film that came out back in 1986 called Stand By Me, which I got to see on video when it was first released, and it still stands as one of my favorite movies ever.

I'm pretty sure most of you have seen it by now. It's the very simple story of four good friends who live in a quiet rural town in Oregon, who spend the last days of their summer vacation looking for the body of a dead boy in order to get their names in the newspaper. I watched the film at a very crucial time in my life, for just as they main characters in the movie were about to start junior high, so was I as a matter of fact, which is why I have forever held the film in such high esteem.

The four main child stars are nothing short of superb in their roles. Wil Wheaton plays Gordie Lachance: a sensitive, shy, and highly intelligent kid who loves his elementary school loser foul-mouthed friends in order to be cool. The late great River Phoenix plays Chris Chambers, a real tough, yet good-hearted guy who is Gordie's best friend. Corey Feldman plays the insane and hilarious Teddy Duchamp, who can snap at a moment's notice, and there's fat crybaby Vern Tessio, played by the now handsome Jerry O'Connell. All four of them come from dysfunctional homes, smoke, cuss incessantly, and play off each other beautifully. Credit the terrific direction by "meathead" Rob Reiner and script writers Raynold Gideon and Bruce Evans for this astoundingly wonderful film, which is surprisingly based on a short story by horror writer Stephen King.

The film evokes the 1950's in its look and amazing soundtrack and takes the viewer back to a time that must've been pretty great in America, though those living then probably didn't see it that way. A true classic and masterpiece, Stand By Me is one of those films I just never tire of. Full of great lines, dialogue, humor, true drama and a great villainous performance by Kiefer Sutherland, this is a film that will live on for generations; as American as apple pie.

If you haven't yet seen it, please wear a mask in public to hide your shame until you do view the film.

T'IS HALLOWEEN EVE!

Yes kiddies!

MOOHOOHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!

I've got some creepy frightful footage for you. Here goes:

--The Queen Mary, now docked in Long Beach, CA is very very haunted:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnHEsV4qqJM

--Mexican kids playing ball run into an extraterrestrial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33v027PEnng

--A supposed UFO flying above family in car in Australia:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEKtnmnn_Tc

--A small bio on real life serial killer Ed Gein:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8bxh5xYKec

Enjoy these treats! And have a safe and Happy Halloween!

DO YOU SUFFER FROM COULROPHOBIA?

I dunno man. I don't necessarily fear clowns, but they are rather creepy and diabolical.

Y'all remember serial killer John Wayne Gacy right? He used to dress up as Pogo the Clown at kid's parties and had several murder victims in the crawl space under his house back in the 1970's! There's that scene in Poltergeist where that boy's toy clown attacks him. I read Stephen King's massive crate novel IT back in the early nineties, and the main evil character in that book was Pennywise the Dancing Clown. And who could forget Killer Klowns from Outer Space? Now there's a film that should scare you of clowns forever! These really disturbing alien clowns find all kinds of shocking ways to dispose of human beings, like dissolving you with acid cream pies.

They're supposed to delight and amuse children, lighten up the circus, but sheesh! Clowns are deceiving maniacs with a negative side just waiting to be revealed! Ronald McDonald must be a pedophile or something worse. The Joker is insane and always wreaking havoc in Gotham City as you already know. Krusty the Clown on The Simpsons is a chainsmoking foul-mouthed dude with tons of issues.

I tells ya, there is way too much negativity associated with clowns. Popular culture has run away with the idea that clowns possess an evil strange dark twisted side.

Pop culture just may be right.

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=clowns+are+evil&fr=yfp-t-501&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8