Thursday, February 23, 2012


Hi! Hope you've had a good February! I've been ok here and there. I'm happiest when amongst friends or when drinking/stoned. I know, I shouldn't have to rely on substances for my happiness, but my mind wanders and thinks of the very saddest worst things when alone and sober, and then I fall into very depressive episodes which are very hard for me to get out of. Only TWO TRULY GOOD FRIENDS of mine get what I am talking about. Everyone else is so busy or tells me to get over it ya know? I guess I shouldn't blame people for being self-absorbed or selfish; they do have THEIR own lives and issues to deal with to stop and worry or care about mine. Sadness is a very powerful emotion which I constantly struggle against though. I see the beauty in life all the time: Nature. A hug. A funny TV show. Good health. A nice meal. Stuff like that I always DO appreciate. But then the grim stuff takes over: Nasty evil people. My mortality. Loving those I shouldn't. My annoying job. I wish this kind of negative thinking did not plague me, but I can't deny that it does. I look in the mirror. Do I like the man that I see? Sometimes I do! Sometimes I do see a very handsome man staring right back and I feel most fortunate for having these genes. Other times I feel I'm not tanned enough, nor muscular enough, but I live in this superficial hellhole LA, so I guess it's understandable. LOL! Anyway, nothing really new to report about my life. I still have my physical health, but mentally and emotionally I do falter sometimes. The good news? I ALWAYS MANAGE TO BEAT MY DEMONS! I ALWAYS TRIUMPH. ALWAYS!!! Now gimme a hug and a kiss...

So I've been fascinated by Greta Garbo as of late. GRETA F*CKING GARBO! The great Swedish DIVA MOVIE SUPERSTAR! This was a very very interesting lady I must say! She was very close to her family and started acting lessons and other jobs in front of the camera while growing up in Sweden. Somehow though she got noticed by Louis B. Mayer (head of MGM) and her director friend and her came to Hollywood when she was still a teenager in the early 1920's or so I believe. She was a natural beauty when shown in front of a camera. She started off in silent films, then moved on to talkies and triumphed even further as one big giant popular movie star. At one point, she was the highest paid of them all, earning about $300,000 a film in the 1930s! WOW! In those days that was a lot of cash! Hell it still is a lot of moola! She had that cool accent and very nice cheekbones, LOL! She worked for only about twenty years and made about 25 AMERICAN movies before retiring from HOLLYWOOD in the 1940s. THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE because she was only in her mid-thirties! The right roles never came again, and she was a very very private woman anyway. She hated publicity, attending movie premieres and parties, or having to sign autographs. She was quite the loner. She spent the rest of her life in NEW YORK CITY living off the money she had already made. Every time she went out, she'd wear large hats and sunglasses to keep the paparazzi from getting a good picture of her. Garbo was certainly unique for her mysterious and carefully protected private life. Many claim she had affairs not just with men but with women as well. She lived a long life and finally died in 1990 at the age of 84 with a net worth of about 32 million dollars. NOT BAD! NOT BAD AT ALL! I've seen three of her films I think: Grand Hotel, Ninotchka, and Queen Christina; the latter being my favorite.

You gotta go to YouTube directly to view this documentary on the very enigmatic Ms. Garbo, but it is pretty good: