Thursday, March 29, 2007


The stereotype of course, is that your typical gay dude talks with that funny lisp (FABULUTH!), is meticulously clean, knows his fashion, cooks, and has other very effeminate qualities. Yes, while this kind of gay man does exist (as seen in that dumbass show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy), I often wonder what category I fall into.

Let's see. Let's analyze myself. I use very big flowery high vocabulary words when I speak and write. Does this make me gay? Maybe, although plenty of educated straight men do the same. I don't care for much for fashion at all either. I do like to look nice, but hate shopping for clothes/shoes. I don't care for wearing hats, scarves, or the latest jeans. F**K IT. Clothes and shoes are expensive and it's a waste of precious time to spend it in a department store, except twice a year or so. So in this regard, I don't think I'm gay at all. I do trim hair here and there, but nothing that makes me look too femme.

My taste in music is kind of in-between. I love The Beatles, Beastie Boys, Led Zeppelin, and Radiohead. That's pretty straight guy music ain't it? But then again, I ruin my straight image by also listening to Madonna, Scissor Sisters, Morrissey, and Elton John. Yeah, not too straight there. Damn. I don't really care for musicals though! Bonus points right?! Yeah, those musicals made into movies are cool, but I won't really pay money to go see people singing and dancing live onstage too often. Kind of boring really, as is that real annoying fag hag Barbra Streisand. BLAH!

I watch all kinds of movies, and am very open-minded when it comes to motion pictures. Kill Bill, The Godfather, Scarface, and The Matrix are pretty cool movies and very straight-dude oriented. But then come my film choices such as Brokeback Mountain, All About Eve, Chicago, and Torch Song Trilogy. Yeah, most straight dudes wouldn't be caught dead watching those films, and yet there I am. UGH. So gay.

I do lose lots of straight-acting points when it comes to sports. Honestly? Sports are pretty boring and a waste of time. Yeah, I'm checking out the Super Bowl only to watch who sings the national anthem and the halftime show. Basketball used to be interesting back when the Lakers were battling the Celtics in the 1980s and it's never regained my interest much since then. I really only dig the World Cup and the Olympics, and those only occur every few years anyway. So no, you won't see me often sitting in front of a big screen TV drooling over sweaty men in uniforms as they play with bouncing balls. That's such a straight man's thing to do. UH...YEAH! Real straight. Ahem.

My mannerisms are pretty straight most of the time. MOST OF THE TIME. Once in a while I will catch myself having a very effeminate moment, and it irks me, but oh well. I am what I am. It is what it is. And I do check out that straight hardcore porn, just to see how nasty those girls are getting in those scenes, but ultimately I end up checking out the dude which straight men never DO! OH NO! NOT AT ALL! UH HUH.

It doesn't help my case either that I am attracted to other dudes and like to plow the crap out of them. Yeah, pretty masculine here, but when I get laid it throws all of that out the window--or does it?

Oh well, what this post clarifies is absolutely nothing. NOTHING!

It does prove however, that I am no less a man despite whatever freakin' category I fall into, and most happy to be one.


Tuesday, March 27, 2007


Yeah, so I sat down to watch this movie called Proof, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jakey G., and Anthony Hopkins. The premise of the film is that Hopkins has just died after leaving behind a brilliant body of work in the field of mathematics. Jakey is a big fan/student of the late professor and aspires to be as smart as him by analyzing many of the notebooks this mentally ill "Einstein" wrote during his lifetime.

Unfortunately, add Paltrow's character as the mentally disturbed/distraught and always whining daughter of the mathematician, and the picture is ruined! UGH! There was a love scene where Jakey's on top of Gwyneth The Hag and I almost heaved! NOT MY JAKEY, ESPECIALLY NOT ON TOP OF THAT WHINING SCREAMING BLONDE UNDESERVING OSCAR-WINNING BONY TROLLOP! Idda rather seen a different chick in the role, but hey, GwynHAG has to work because Hollywood has made her believe she is a great actress. We love Jakey G. though. He can never do no wrong! LOL!

I also watched the 1953 motion picture Gentlemen Prefer Blondes which was pretty entertaining and funny at times, including a very obvious (not back then though) gay musical number!
Jane Russell is a hoot and holds her own in the movie; an attractive, witty, and charming character she does indeed play. Of course, I say this because she co-stars with none other than the stunning movie powerhouse Marilyn Monroe, who is a vision to behold. Wow, was this bitch gorgeous or what?! The camera obviously loved Marilyn and I can see why she became such an icon. Her blonde bimbo demeanor is priceless in this movie, and her Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend number is the stuff of legend; influencing countless female entertainers to this very day like Madonna, Anna Nicole Smith, Kylie Minogue and Nicole Kidman.

And just recently, a new report that Monroe may have actually been silenced by Bobby Kennedy! This theory, and the one also linking JFK has been the stuff of rumor for years.



Sunday, March 25, 2007


Well thanks for the overwhelming support good people regarding me getting harassed the other day at zee gym! I did call corporate office and a very nice gentleman took down my complaint, gave me two free months (so far) and will have the area director phone me very soon! So far, so good.

I was tagged by Loco Eddie as to what seven songs I'm currently listening to death, so here goes:

1) Return To Oz by Scissor Sisters - one of the most gorgeous lyrically tragic and melodically rich songs I have ever had the fortune of listening to; uses the L. Frank Baum story to describe a terrible meth addiction.

2) Anna Molly by Incubus - A terrific band, with a hottie lead singer. 'Nuff said.

3) Say It Right by Nelly Furtado- She is on fire! I love this sexy mamacita! I think I could get it up for her. This song is being used on cell phones and MySpace pages across the land! HAHA!

4) My Love by Justin Timberlake - If I have to hear SexyBack one more time, I will leap off the Golden Gate Bridge, but this song is cool. I think.

5) Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol - actually, I'm listening to lots more of their stuff, but this has been a big hit for them. Good Northern Irish/Scottish band. Not bad.

6) Read My Mind by The Killers- Although their first album was better, this latest one is not too shabby. And bisexual lead singer Brandon Flowers makes me hard. He should go to my gym. Ahem.

7) Cruz de Sal by Los Aterciopelados- Colombian duo that makes some of the best Latin songs around. Love the chick's voice and their catchy hooks. A sample of their work: here.

Friday, March 23, 2007


Where do I even begin with my insanely infuriating and bizarre story?

My gym, which is notorious for gay cruising and minor sexual activity between CONSENTING ADULTS has this new manager who happens to be black. Yes yes, this kind of activity really should not be occurring in a public place, but it kinda does only because no one there is blind or dead yet and we all know how men are after a good work-out: testosterone-filled pigs basically. Most generally just flirt or stare, but that's it. No harm, no foul really.

Here's the deal though. I'm one of the few who wears swim trunks even while showering. Most of them go in with their birthday suits and that's fine and dandy, but I just feel more comfortable so no one gets too excited at what I'm packing. HAHA! Well, this dude was in the sauna with just his towel on and rules do say u should be wearing swimwear at least in there. So tyrant new black manager comes in as I am showering with my back against the shower head and he pulls the sauna door open, peeks inside, and tells the gentlemen with just the towel on and that he cannot be in there without swimwear. Fair enough I guess, although a bit hostile.

Five minutes later he comes back as I'm leaving the shower area and in my face literally and very aggressively:



I guess he could sense the gayness on me or whatever, but his ridiculous attitude was uncalled for. I was doing nothing wrong, and the fact that I could be staring or looking at whomever or whatever was not a crime. I was even wearing swim trunks for crying out loud! Needless to say, I was very upset when he left the area, and I quickly got dressed and found him in the front lobby area and confronted him. Calmly, but sternly:

"Listen Roland, I need your supervisor's name and number. What you just did to me in there was harassment. I don't appreciate it. You can apologize now and I will let it go, or I can take this further." -WAT

"Sir, I will not apologize for doing my job, but I will write down corporate office headquarters for you." -Sgt. Asshole (who now looked a bit intimidated)

"I know you're doing your job, and the first gentleman issue you resolved was fine, but what you did to me was not. I have been a member of this gym for years and I have never been so insulted! You were assuming or harassing me for no reason other than suspicions. Thank you Roland." -as WAT walked away.

I will be calling corporate today. Any other suggestions as to what I should do? I went home really really freakin' upset, almost livid at this jerk-off.

It smells of discriminatory homophobia to me, and I have never made a big issue about many comments and insults directed my way before by other stupid people, but this incident takes the cake.


Thursday, March 22, 2007



Howard Stern played clips of this yesterday on his radio show. Apparently, shooting the film I Heart Huckabees was quite an ordeal between Lily Tomlin and the director. I never saw the film, but it's shocking this movie even got made after what one witnesses here! Most people thought the film sucked anyway. Check out cool-as-hell Dustin Hoffman and the other actors as Lily blows her fuse in subsequent scenes involving her.

Hoping YouTube doesn't pull these off! This has to be seen/heard to be believed

Tuesday, March 20, 2007


Holy cow!

There she was last night! And I was watching! Hell, let's face it, I think every huge Beatles/MACCA fan was watching Ms. Pegleg strutting her dance moves on Dancing With The Stars, just because we all wanted to see the evil one; the one causing Paul so much emotional heartache and embarrassment. There is no such thing as negative press though, and this is enormously beneficial to Heather, in a twisted way. Paul should benefit too, for everyone is practically on the genius' side! Sure helps to keep the bitter divorce/feud endlessly fascinating don't it?!

She wasn't that bad really. A bit stiff and wooden, but hey, I give her credit for doing it. I mean, so many hate her at the moment, and there she was anyway! Last year, everyone watched the show to watch hottie Mario Lopez strut his stuff, we all know why people are tuning in this season: HEATHER FACKING MILLS! This is a ratings bonanza! HOOHOOAHAHAHAHAHAH! It's kind of funny as we all await ta see if her limb will just fall or fly off! And yeah, I know the Brits are notorious for having bad teeth, but damn sister; Heather's got some real mean oogly ones! WHOA!
Her gay dance partner/trainer is super hot by the way. I'd like to bust him open and tear him up so bad, leaving him incapacitated and bleeding for a few days unable to choreograph Heather.


Monday, March 19, 2007


Well, well, well.

Leave it to Beyoncé to prove me wrong. A bud of mine showed me this clip of her appearance on Oprah, and I was most impressed with her performance of this song from Dreamgirls. I mean, really. She's been doing those cute club pop songs forever, and I've always found her a bit irritating and overhyped; now I finally get to hear the sista sing for real, and well, she got me. She is amazing. At least in this performance she is. Please tell me she ain't lip syncing! The girl owns the stage, sings from the heart, and doesn't even look like the usual Beyoncé we're all used to seeing. I had to rub my eyes a couple of times to make sure it was her.

I mean, is that really freakin' her?! It's unbelievable! Did someone else's voice invade her body at this moment for her to sound so amazing?

Have a look and listen:


Thursday, March 15, 2007


Here we go again.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Peter Pace recently stated he considers homosexuality "immoral." O.k. sir. You have every right to voice your opinion under the Constitution. However, gay rights groups also have a right to condemn and defend themselves as well. I keep reading right-wing assholes and Christian fundamentalists mad at the gay community for being upset at General Pace. Well, does the Constitution not protect them as well? Hmmm? Sorry, but if you’re gonna say something controversial, you gotta be prepared to take the hits. This isn’t the 18th century anymore. Women, gays, and minorities now have a voice. It’s just the way it fucking is. Sorry, if we can't just keep our mouths shut like we once were forced to before.

Let’s look at General Pace though. Frankly, and in all crude honesty, I actually find the man quite handsome. HAHA! Yep. Totally my type! Looks like one of those older dudes that are married to women with the kids and all that I’ve "met" or "ran" into quite often. Many men in America are hiding many more secrets than they care to admit. They watch hardcore porn (gay,str8, and bi), and are living double bisexual/gay lives. I know, ‘cause I’ve HAD MANY..ER, OOPS!!! Ahem. Why is the Internet saturated with all this porn? It can't all be gay men who are the pervs! That hetero porn is really quite shockingly nasty! I say consenting adults should be left alone!

Why must we continue the hypocrisy? Even the guy’s name: Peter. PETER. HA! What does his gesture in that pic there mean anyway? Penis size? Hmmm? So many good gay men have served in the military since our good country began. I mean, really. What is the big deal? If two dudes are caught messing around or being inappropriate, then deal with it on an individual basis. Stop trying to divide good people in uniform. If things really got bad and they needed lots of military personnel, I betcha they would allow gays to serve regardless. Kinda like when blacks were allowed to serve, even though they were heavily discriminated back in the day. I know, I know, right-wingers are the first ones to say that race and sexual orientation are different issues and that race cannot be chosen like a man who "chooses" to pillow bite. Well, I say to you: F*CK OFF. How many good gay soldiers have already died and continue to do so for this inept ungrateful country?!

Of course, I had to post some of the comments to this controversy. Once again, Americans show their true colors:

-Everybody's in an uproar because General Pace expressed his personal opinion on homosexuality. I believe that most Americans agree that most abnormal behaviors such as necrophilia, pedophilia and homophilia are in fact immoral. We have just been cowered into not expressing our beliefs publicly.

-Pace was right the first time. Societies that go gay are on the way down and will let "anything go" or anyone come in.

-Well gentlemen. When all is said and done, we must contrast two opposing facts. One is that the bible is true and all of its teachings. Thus if you follow the teachings of the bible your conclusions are very plain. Homosexuality is immoral.

-I strongly agree with General pace. It absolutely is an immoral act that serves no life purpose. Immoral and godless fools like Joseph Rotolo that posted his comment should be expelled from the United States as undesireables. If we don't start standing up to these people now, we will fall out of favor with God and rapidly fall into his wrath, as has happened several times before. Note Sodom and Gamorea. Our elected representatives that have attitudes like John Warner need to be thrown out of office. This great country is headed for the gates of Hell. Wake up, America!


-Homosexuality is intolerable. Statistics show that most Americans agree with the former statement, but the homosexual lobby has learned how to yell very loud and they are in control (or at least have influence) in the media. Shame on us for allowing this country to be tolerant of this and other abhorrent behavior.

-If you are all going to throw God into this then make sure you know the scripture. God never intended any person to bey Gay and in the Bible it talks about homosexuality and that is a sin. It is wrong and it is immoral. If God says so then i will follow Him.

-Pace all the way! The truth is the truth homosexuality is nothing but an unnatural manifestation of sexual desire. Immoral, unnatural, and just plain nasty.

-Thank God that General Pace was willing to take a stand for what is moral and right. If the amoral left ever does take over the military then my children will not serve. It's SO REFRESHING to see someone willing to take a stand for what's right. There ARE moral absolutes and people who know this will not be shouted down by the "anything goes" crowd. We will not allow our country to be destroyed. Our founding fathers must be rolling in their graves:(

-It is immoral & you can't be an upstanding Christian in your service to GOD if you break his laws repeatedly. A homosexual cannot serve in the service of GOD. And it is not discrimination, it is a choice these people have made. They have to bear the consequences. Can somebody prove to me how two openly homosexual people of the same sex can procreate without any assistance from science? Everyone who thinks otherwise has screwed-up core mores - right on General Pace!

-The lifestyle and practices of homosexuals can only be condoned by a society that has absolutely lost its moral bearings and has become too stupid to survive.

-The General has a right to believe what he wants! I believe it is a Filthy unatural act, and nobody can tell me what I can believe period.

-Homosexuality is unnatural. Pegs don't go into pegs and dump valves were never meant to serve as inlets. Only humans have learned to force themselves to override the natural functions of their bodies to suit their perversions.

-I agree with the general, Semper Fi!! As a Marine in the late 70's early 80's I had some homsexuals make advances towards me on the base. I did not appreciate it. Homosexuality is unnatural, and morally corrupting. God's word never changed. Sin is still sin.

There ya have it! Enlightening ain't it?

Some of you immoral homos might wanna consider starting a colony on the moon. I mean, with all the love in America as you can plainly see...

Tuesday, March 13, 2007


I've seen quite a bit of films in the past week, and wanted to share my mini-reviews with you, without spoiling them for those of you who haven't yet checked them out:

1) O.k. I went to see Zodiac. Very interesting story. Creepy. Genuinely disturbing. Love the atmospheric 70s San Francisco feel.
Robert Downey Jr. is terrific as always. Jakey G. is quite good too and adorable of course to look at, especially when he comes out of the rain. My big problem with the film however? TOO DAMN LONG! The editor needed to cut this film by about 40 minutes and dump dem scenes into the deleted section on the DVD. I mean, REALLY!

2) Then there's Babel. WOW! A profound
motion picture indeed! Brat Pitt is terrific in this and they age him a bit, but even then he looks hot. Cate Blanchett is good as always. Adriana Barraza as the Mexican nanny is wonderful as is the Japanese actress. A global motion picture in many languages with a very strong socio-political message. Really worth seeing!

3) The big box office hit in theaters now is 300. Highly entertaining! The visuals in this movie are breathtaking. Battle scenes are intense and shot beautifully. It's almost as if one is watching one of those modern video games in action on the Playstation or something. The dudes in this film are really hot and have an almost erotic quality. Based on an
actual battle that occurred between the Spartans and the Persians back in antiquity, with a fantasy feel to it. The government of Iran ain't too happy though. But I found it just cool baby! Real cool!

4) This Borat movie. Truly hilarious! I sat down to watch it with a bit of skepticism after all the hype and controversy I'd heard about it. Well, I wasn't disappointed. It had me roaring in no time. Sacha Baron Cohen's character is ignorant, homophobic, racist, sexist, uncouth, vulgar, crude, and quite shocking. Traveling across America interviewing real people is quite an eye-opener. Check out the deleted scenes too, they are quite funny as well. A WINNER!

There ya have it. The one movie to really see in the theater to capture the spectacle of it all is 300.

The rest? DVD baby.

Sunday, March 11, 2007


Because I believe Paul McCartney is a living songwriting genius, whose glorious musical output did not end with the breakup of The Beatles, here is this little treat I ran into by mistake that I wanna share with you. Notice Linda McCartney in the clips. R.I.P. Linda. You were a true friend and wife to Paul. The musical medley is fantastic. These 70s songs still sound good today.



Saturday, March 10, 2007


What tha hell is the Prez touring Latin America for?!

It's quite embarrassing really. Your own country hates yer guts; they can't stand yer ass in most of Europe, Asia, or the Middle East, and now you're touring yet another hostile region that'd like ta see yer body set ablaze?! Lame duck man. QUACK! QUACK!

From the AP:

The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil."

Let's face it, we'd be better off resurrecting Elvis and sending his zombie on tour south of the border, than our own leader. I think dem peoples would like that more; American music is loved everywhere. That would actually be quite cool; fat zombie Elvis singing all his great hits and filling up soccer stadiums to tell the people of Latin America: "You are poor, starving, and we in the U.S benefit from keeping you in the toilet, but I Elvis am here to make ya feel good, sing my great hits, and keep us all feeling united through the power of music! Look at fat me! And look at all you hungry people! Thank ya very much.
¡Muchas gracias!"

Well o.k. then.

Keep up the lame facade Busho.

As WAT makes a big giant "L" with his fingers and rests them against his forehead.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


Spanish is indubitably, one of the great and most spoken languages on Planet Earth. I, your professor, want to make sure you know what to say, just in case you ever find yourself in these situations!

I mean, you just never freakin' know! Some universal phrases for you, if perhaps the need ever arises! With an easy-to-follow audiocast and fun read-along transcript below!


1) I swallowed my gum just right now trying to stick it in.
-Me tragué el chicle ahorita tratando de meterla.

2) Hey Michael, your mom is kinda hot.
-Oye Miguel, tu mamá está algo buena.

3) Stupid ass, that's my mom you jerk-off!
-¡Pendejo, esa es mi mamá cabrón!

4) It grows every time I see you.
-Crece cada vez que te veo.

5) Once upon a time, there was a man with three legs...
-Érase una vez, un hombre con tres piernas...

6) I prefer you use my microphone.
-Prefiero que uses mi micrófono.

7) My buttocks itch after a while.
-Las nalgas me pican después de un rato.

8) I have something to confess. I was born Victor, but now you know me as Victoria.
-Tengo algo que confesarte. Nací Victor, pero ahora me conoces de Victoria.

9) You're what?! Pregnant?! Where the hell is the vacuum cleaner?!
-¡¿Estás qué?! ¡¿Embarazada?! ¡¿Dónde diablos está la aspiradora?!

10) Usually, I'm afraid of snakes, but not of yours.
-Usualmente, le tengo miedo a las culebras, pero no a la tuya.

I know, I know. Invaluable info!

Till next time...
-Hasta la próxima...

Wednesday, March 07, 2007


What tha hell is wrong with Justin Timberlake's nose?! Time for a nose job or something. It's hideous! He is a semi-attractive lad and has always photographed well, but as of late I've noticed the tip of his nose starting to point downwards, like a sort of parrot or something; a veritable melting wax candle or similar to the fake wax nose Lucy Ricardo wore in that classic I Love Lucy episode. Maybe his nose's always been that jacked up and I just finally noticed? JAYSUS!

Oh well, whatever. That toucan is on top of the world, and could give a rat's ass what I think of his disturbing proboscis. Timberlake is a mere 26 years old, comes from a successful boy band, has two hit solo albums under his belt, and is now acting in movies. He dated Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz, both of whom seem to having odd nervous breakdowns now. And we all remember that parrot helping to show off Janet Jackson's boob in that now infamous "wardrobe malfunction" incident during the Super Bowl some years ago.

JT was always stealing the spotlight along with JC Chasez while a member of 'N Sync
; he surely got the most fan mail from all those annoying screaming teen girls. His first solo album had a few top ten hits, now this latest one has had three #1 singles. ARGH! Is there no end in sight to Hawk Nose's success? The boy's a juggernaut. Even his appearances on Saturday Night Live have been pretty memorable, for Gonzo is actually quite good at comedy.

Oh well. So young. So famous. So talented. So seemingly in control. When does Gonzo lose it? When does he have a nervous breakdown? When does all this greatness he possesses begin to crumble? Frankly, I'm envious. Yeah, a tad bit.

But seriously, just look at his nose.

Just look at it.

Monday, March 05, 2007


A long time ago, in this galaxy not so far away...

-I remember the kids at school collecting those funny-as-hell twisted sick Garbage Pail Kids cards in elementary school.

-I remember watching and singing along to this show's theme song. I also remember singing along to this dumbass show's theme song too.

-I remember my first major big news story: President Reagan getting shot. Man, I couldn't watch my cartoons thanks to John Hinckley Jr.

-I remember learning about the birds and the bees when I was 10 years old. Yeah, can you believe it? How freakin' naive is that? Now I think I know too damn much.

-I remember my teacher crying hysterically when our elementary school principal announced over the PA system that the Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded.

-I remember watching Moonlighting, The Wonder Years, and Doogie Howser M.D., not only because they were pretty good shows, but because I had secret crushes on Bruce Willis, Fred Savage, and Neil Patrick Harris. Damn, how embarrassing to admit that.

-I remember drinking lots of Strawberry Quik in milk. Fuck, that stuff was nothing but sugar and the thought of drinking that now would make me gag.

-I remember Latin freestyle music being big in junior high. Yes! Artists like: The Cover Girls, Stevie B., and Exposé.

-I remember the birth of cable television when my Dad installed ON-TV in our home. There was also that SelecTV. YIKES!

-I remember begging my mom to get me the latest hit single on 45 record every weekend when I was but a pipsqueak.

-I remember using the Dudley and PAAS brand Easter Egg coloring kits.

Yeah, there's lots I remember, but that's enough remembering for now.

I feel old.

Friday, March 02, 2007




Note: If playback is choppy or stalls, do not refresh/reload page! Simply drag time marker to the beginning and let it playback again. AND YES, THE AUDIO HOST SERVER HAD BEEN DOWN AND IS ACTING UP FROM TIME TO TIME. GRRRRRRR!