Saturday, September 29, 2007


Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the only review that matters of the new Beatles-themed motion picture called Across The Universe. WOOHOO! I'll keep it short & sweet because as you all know, I hate The Beatles! MAY LIGHTNING STRIKE ME FOR EVEN MAKING SUCH A JOKE ABOUT MY BOYS! ACK!

Anyhowzen, the story and general plotline was really poor. Weak, weak, weak, and did I say WEAK?! Yeah, just a cheap superficial overview of the 1960s with no real substance. Kind o' disappointing. Heck, The Wonder Years did a much better job of capturing the decade, but I guess it's harder for this 130-minute movie to do so than what that classic TV show was able to do every week. The beginning of the film shows great promise, then it kind of starts falling flat and gets a wee bit irritating by the time the Vietnam War protesting goes into overdone mode; some of the songs also seemed out of place and just thrown in at times which kinda left me a bit puzzled.

With all that being said, some of the visuals in this film are quite enjoyable and very well done! Look at the colors man! TRIPPY! I also really enjoyed some cameo appearances by some pretty big stars/celebrities that I was not expecting. They were all quite good in their individual scenes, which made the movie quite fun. Some of the Beatles covers were nicely done too, and I found myself tapping my foot and humming along here and there.

So yes the movie is flawed, but director Julie Taymor still manages to pull it off somehow with some nice casting and decent acting/singing from all.

If anything, this film reiterates just how important and glorious the music by The Beatles continues to be.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007


UGH! As I type this, there's yet another global warming show on The History Channel! I hate to say it. I really hate to say it, but: IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE! WE'VE RUINED OUR PRECIOUS PLANET FOR GOOD! Keep on trying to do your individual part I suppose, but we are royally screwed! I guess there's no choice but to start having Roman-style orgies and eating copious amounts of Taco Bell! FART all yer pains away like I am amidst this terrible set of glacier-melting events befalling humanity at this time.

Did you know that the Aztecs foretold their own demise? Hell yes they did. They saw their white-skinned God Quetzalcoatl (The Plumed Serpent) returning from the East one day. Lowe and behold, who lands on the shores of ancient Mexico in the 1500s but white-skinned smelly Catholic disease-ridden Spaniards! EEK! Aztec mythology was right after all, and in no time, their amazing empire fell. Alas, long gone but never forgotten, the Aztecs gave the world chocolate, tomatoes, and one hell of a fascinating read in the current book I'm checking out about their conquest called, Visión de los Vencidos or The Vision of the Defeated. It's a bit of a sad read, but nothing a rich strawberry milkshake with whip cream and a cherry from Carl's Jr. can't help alleviate.

And Lord Almighty, just what tha hell was that slimy president from Iran doing here in America besides maybe enjoying some delicious greasy artery-clogging McDonald's french fries? Why did Columbia University even invite that grinning creep to speak anyway? He was royally insulted by the president of the college mind you for being a Holocaust denier and war instigator, but yet he can just smirk his ass off in TV interview after interview and portray himself as a loving kind peaceful man. BOLOGNA! This guy is bad news and well on the way to inviting war with the U.S. and Israel over his country's nuclear program. He's so laughable, as when someone questioned him on gay rights and torture in Iran and he had the nerve to say that his country had absolutely NO gay people. Yes, 'cause y'all kill them! WE'RE GOING TO WAR WITH IRAN! YOU WATCH! The signs are all there! Imma need some finger foods from Jack in the Box to cope!

Weather changes, upcoming war, terrorism, the hated dorky American president, the devalued American dollar, etc. The world is in deep caca! I'm going to become a singer/songwriter that sings to happy-sounding tunes with depressing lyrics! Oh wait, Morrissey did that already! SHOOT!

I'll need to stuff my face with a Whopper with cheese no pickles from Burger King in hopes that this beautiful fast food world is truly not at its bitter end.

Monday, September 24, 2007


Did any of you catch that silly Star Wars spoof episode of Family Guy last night? I thought it was pretty clever and entertaining, but then again, I sometimes get entertained by watching bread toast so THERE!

Fall is here! The autumnal equinox has arrived! YEEHA! This is my favorite season of the year bar none! The weather's getting cooler, certain trees here in LA are losing their leaves, traffic is still a congested nightmare, my sex drive is just as healthy/perverse as ever, my favorite holiday Halloween is just around the corner, and the time has come to watch all kinds of interesting horror movies/ghost haunting shows on cable! WOOHOO! ¡Viva el otoño! Um, that's Spanish for, "Long live autumn!" Ahem. If only autumn weren't ruined by that upcoming turkeymurderfest bore of a holiday Thanksgiving! UGH!
So I was at a fast food joint this weekend, and I saw these really young thuggy-looking Latino dudes who were prolly in their early teens eating away all the delicious unhealthy junk a restaurant like this has to offer, and I could not believe the size of these kids! I am very lucky to be thin in this life, but also alarmed at the obesity rates in America! It really is a problem, and these kids I saw are proof! WHOA! Dat ain't just the tacos, enchiladas, or burritos your madre makes at home man; there's some serious extra overeating going on here!

I also started watching PBS last night and their new documentary by Ken Burns called The War. Yeah, yet another damn look and thorough ANALysis of World War II, but let's face it, everything about that war still fascinates man! The cruelty and bloody mass killings which left some 60 million people dead! Hitler and Hirohito almost took over the damn world! EEK! Thank God for the good ole' United States back then!

As for America now? EEK! I had a scary dream/vision of a terrorist nuke going off at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena! How comforting right? Nukes are bloody cool and fascinating, but unfortunately terribly destructive.

On that obvious and happy note, CHEERIO!

Saturday, September 22, 2007


At a fundraiser earlier this week, LA HILLARITA CLINTON called Vice-President Cheney none other than the evil half man/half machine dark lord of the galactic empire, the honorable and Mr. Dark Side Representative himself, DARTH VADER! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! That's kinda funny actually, but Hillary gets lots of criticism of her own of course, all the time.

Some rip-roaringly hilarious comments made by common folk about Hillary's recent jab at Cheney:

-she doesn't even realize that she's the evil one...

-I find her lack of faith..... disturbing

-Is this really newsworthy? She is such an attention whore.

-ok maybe im a giant nerd but darth vader was good turned evil turned good. cheney is just an evil face shooting republican

-Sounds like she's on her period

-I wish Cheney WAS Darth Vader, so he could crush Hillary's throat with the Dark Side of the Force. WE ARE SITH!!! The Jedi are religious fanatics a la Al Qaida.

-Is Darth bad? In the last episode, he was among the most loved and respected Jedi's - Yoda and Obi Wan :-)

-Does this mean Hitlery is Jabba the Hutt?

-At least if shes president...she will be sitting behind the desk in the oval office instead of under it like the other women did with the other president Clinton.

-I would much rather have Darth Vader on our side fighting the terrorists than Hillary. Darth could kill lots of them in short order. Hillary would just try to understand them and offer them free healthcare.

-You'd think these two would get along a little better considering that Cheney's daughter is a lesbian and so is Schrillary.

-...He may be Darth Vader, but if elected, she'll be the emperor(ess)...

-What does that make Bill? Dark Helmet???

-Hillary, I am your father.

-Cheney isn't cool enough to be called Darth Vader. He is just a mean ole white guy that would cut up your Nerf football if it fell in his yard. But I think hillary is a chump too.

-So why do felons vote democrat? Why do sex perverts vote democrat? Why do welfare whores vote democrat? Why do athiests vote democrat? Let's be honest, democrat party is the party for human garbage.

-Hillary...the wicked witch of the east...

-If the American people are stupid enough to elect this Marxist bitch they deserve the Orwellian fascist nightmare that follows.

-...Jabba-the Butt callin Cheney Darth Vader. ...Bill must be Jarjar Binks..."Me-ska hates-ska dat kuunt-ska!"

-It's impossible to imagine actually giving the keys to the kingdom to these Demoncats in a time when radical Islam is on the march. She is a turd.

-At least Darth Cheney has sex with his spouse. Old Hillary hasen't seen a dick in 20 years.

-Kobar Tower bombings, embassy bombings, lst WTC bombing, bombing of USS Cole and the clinton's did NOTHING about it. At least Cheney and president Bush tried! Thank hillary and her cheating husband for 9-11. They emboldened the terrorists. They are responsible.

-So let me ge theis straight....if Cheney is DART VADER that would make President Bush the....EMPEROR?? LORD SIDIOUS...what a bunch of crap coming from the Hypocrite herself. WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME ON REPORTS LIKE THIS WHEN OSAMA IS MONTHS AWAY FROM GETTING NUKES FROM PAKISTAN and IRAN IS DEVELOPING NUKES TO DESTROY AMERICA AND ISRAEL????? The world has gone MAD.

-He looks more like a tall Yoda to me.

-Hillary Rodham Clinton. Most Un-Impressive.

-You sheeple need to wake up. This is your sheepdog speaking. Hillary and Cheney are working toward the same goal. Enslavement of America. Look up Cheney, PNAC and his former position in the Council on Foreign Relations. Bill Clinton is also a member. Hillary has attended Bilderberg meetings. It's all a facade to focus our attention on something else while they sneak us toward world government. Ever wonder why these folks are trying to take your constitutional rights on a daily basis to make you safer?

-She just wishes she had mind powers like cheney does!!!

-Hmmm... adolescent, she is. Lose the election, she will.

-Wow I wish Cheyney was president. The death star would've wiped out the sand people by now.

-"MAY THE FARCE BE WITH YOU", Mrs. Bill Clinton.

-Remember. in the very end, Darth Vader was a good guy and everyone cried when he died. At least I did. I love Dick Cheney and Pres Bush@

-She is why a woman will NEVER be president.

-Perhaps she thinks she is being treated...unfairly? She is part of the liberal alliance and a traitor, take her away!

-I hope Hillary and all her supporters die tragically and violently.

-The majority of Americans, basically mainstream Americans, know a corpse lying dead in the street would do a better job running the country than the current president.

-We need Obama Wan Kenobi!

-Huck Fillery

-Not surprising. She seems to have the oratory skill of Chewbacca. And a big harry muff as well.

Thursday, September 20, 2007


I cannot contain myself! I'm about to do a headstand, three somersaults, and play the banjo; all while naked on the 134 freeway! You mean to tell me they made a sequel to the awesome original? YEEHA! Most of the great cast and crew are back! As much as life can SUCK, I really love living when a movie studio can brighten my day with this kind o' film:

The film is set for release on October 12, which is incidentally, Columbus Day. A bit ironic, considering the "enemy" nation in the film.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007


All ye who posted on my rant about America last time are terrific conscientious thinking citizens! Keep up the good work and keep America alive and freeeeeeeeeeeeee! Or at least, let's continue pretending and deluding ourselves okay? HEEHEE!

So much for freedom. I know this dude is kind of a geeky annoying little brat of sorts, but did it really merit him getting tasered while doofusly questioning John Kerry at the University of Florida? GOOD GOD MAN! I've watched this clip several times, and I just don't think it warranted him getting messed up like this! ARGH! THE POLICE STATE IS HERE! WHAT IS THIS, NAZI GERMANY?! DAS GESTAPO IST LEBENDIG UND WOHL!

Maybe I'm just pissed off and bitter at authority right now because I'd like to choke, run over, and/or clobber my indirect supervisor at work for being a royal evil bitch, but watch and read all about this over-the-top incident. I feel the university cops went too damn far. The news articles are here. More good info. is here.

The video clips of the tasering below and on the YouTube sidebar as usual:

Tasered student even has a silly "dating" video he made a while back:

What do you think?

Monday, September 17, 2007


I suppose everyone has this kind of dilemma with the country they were born and raised in. It's just that I happen to have been born and raised in the most powerful, most watched, admired, and hated of all the world's nations: The United States of America.

How do I feel to be American? Well, when I was much younger, I often felt proud to have been born here. This is the vast land of endless opportunity, of hard work, and achievable dreams. This is the nation that has a cultural and social impact on people the world over like no other. We are raised loving our television shows, our first-rate blockbuster films, the mall, a seemingly vast food supply, our cars that can go anywhere along our highways, catchy pop music, and a rabid love of American sports. As a child and teenager, America seems like tha place ta be right? This country has certainly been a scientific, economic, technological, cultural, and social marvel unlike any the world has ever seen. WOW! What a joy to be part of this incredible historic heritage!

And while these wonderful things make America truly unique and a bit more enjoyable than most countries, it's a facade really. We no longer truly lead the world as we once did. American foreign policy is deeply flawed and has been for decades. The last justifiable war we were involved in was World War II, and everything after seems to have been done for capitalistic profit. The American Dream is all but gone. We the middle class struggle more and more as prices go up and our salaries stay the same. It's harder to make ends meet, jobs lay us off more and more, our government is greedier than ever, our military's stretched thin and its morale is low, the education system sucks, everything's made in China, our dollar is weaker and weaker, racism and homophobia are still around and sometimes worse than before, and this country continues to disappoint not just its own citizens, but the world entire.

And after all those years of foreign intervention, of replacing elected officials with dictators, of helping rebels at one point who then become American enemies, of defending greedy American capitalistic interests all over the world, how can we sit here and then wonder why terrorism a la 9/11 has now made it to our land? The world could not do anything for years, because American might was unsurpassed and the only real competitor was The Soviet Union. But with all that communism shit practically gone, other nuclear powers have emerged, and the world's disenfranchised and bitter would be happy to see an American city go up in a nuclear mushroom cloud. We've had it good way too long, we've been spoiled to think we were untouchable, and this has all changed. How many times have we cocky Americans said about an enemy nation, "Just nuke them!" Well, guess what? Others now have the potential power to say that and DO IT to US now. How sad. It pains me to see my nation so damn fucked up from within and despised by so many on the outside; it isn't normal Frenchlike envy/jealousy at work here either, but the years and years of American abuse of power. We've been lied to for so long, we believed in our government, and have been brainwashed for years, until only now do we begin to see the damage that has been done and continues, because finally we the American citizens are starting to suffer from all these horrible policies, domestic and foreign.

Am I bitter? I don't think so. Realistic? Very much so. Everyone still wants to come to our shores though. They still say America is the best damn country in the world. Despite all of our problems and continuing downfall, they all say that this is still THE PLACE.

For how much longer though, when it's all now hanging on such a thin wire?

Friday, September 14, 2007


A run-down of current interesting issues:
-Iraq. Iraq. IRAQ! IRAQ! HOW MANY MORE YEARS WILL I HAVE TO HEAR ABOUT THIS GOD FORSAKEN COUNTRY/REGION OF THE WORLD?! ARGH! Bush still defends the invasion of that shithole, we all wanna get out, but they're gonna do it gradually, and blah, blah, blah. It's all so horrid and annoying really. God help this country!

- In other news, this is kind of neat, but a bit on the creepy factor:
RICHARDSON, Texas (AP) -At 17 inches tall and 6 pounds, the artificial Zeno is the culmination of five years of work by David Hanson and a small group of engineers, designers and programmers at his company, Hanson Robotics. They believe there's an emerging business in the design and sale of lifelike robotic companions, or social robots. And they'll be showing off the robot boy to students in grades 3-12 at the Wired NextFest technology conference Thursday in Los Angeles.

Wow! Spielberg's movie A.I. is virtually a reality! Hollywood proves yet again that it isn't as far-fetched or out there as we may think! The articles are here.

-Did you hear about Hurricane Humberto? It went from a tropical storm to a major hurricane in the fastest amount of time in recorded history! YEEHA! Sure caught the Gulf Coast by surprise, and actually flooded a bit of poor New Orleans again.

-They're busting people in Kansas City, MO for having sex in public parks! What else is new?! The majority of offenders are men with men. BIG SURPRISE! AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH! The video clip is short but here.

-I remember this television show fondly not only because it was so well-written and wonderfully acted, but because it somehow gave me the chance to live the late sixties and early 70's which I wasn't around for, but often feel I had a past life in. They're currently airing reruns on this cable network.

-Last but not least, pay attention to these clips I found! WOW! WHAT A TRIP MAN! The Beatles will forever be discussed and dissected ad nauseum! PAUL MCCARTNEY IS TRULY DEAD! OMG! Well, whatever, but this guy has made some amazing very well-produced and eerie clips called The Rotten Apple Series on YouTube. There's dozens of them by now I believe, but here's some for y'all to check out when you have some free time this weekend, and more on the sidebar of each individual clip at your leisure.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007


Well, he only lived 35 years, but he more than made his mark on the world. I'm talking about that Austrian dude who composed some 600 works during his very brief but amazing lifetime. Who else, but the incomparable Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart?! WOLFIE! Some facts about this amazing man:

-His full official name was Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophillus Amadeus Gottlieb Sigismundus Mozart.

-Mozart could write music notes before he could write words.

-Mozart composed: 50 symphonies, 25 piano concertos, 12 violin concertos, 27 concert arias, 26 string quartets, 103 minuets, 15 masses, 21 opera works.

-Mozart's first compositions, a small Andante (K. 1a) and Allegro (K. 1b), were written in 1761, when he was just five years old.

-Mozart made decent money during his lifetime, but was a terrible spender and was constantly in debt and had to borrow from others.

-Like in the film Amadeus, although a genius composer, Mozart could actually be quite crude and vulgar in his behavior, and his laugh was notoriously unique.

-Many theories and myths surround his death, but it is generally accepted that he died of rheumatic fever.

-No one know where Mozart's body is buried, as he ended up in a common grave.

-Mozart was 30 years old when he met 16 year-old Beethoven.

-Was married only once to Constanze with whom he had six children, but only two survived into adulthood.

Although the 1984 masterpiece motion picture Amadeus takes many liberties and is highly inaccurate in its depiction of Mozart's supposed rivalry with the Italian composer Salieri, it is still a wonderfully enjoyable film with terrific acting and music of course:

Monday, September 10, 2007


What tha hell happened to Britney Spears last night?! She looked bored and very washed up performing on stage at her supposed "comeback" at the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards . The show was okay I suppose, with that adorably cute young Chris Brown delivering a truly terrific entertaining performance; at one point dancing like Michael Jackson used to during Billie Jean. Ah yes, those were the good ole' days, though. Alas, us old folk must make room for the new generation of kids and their musak right? GULP! I try and stay hip and with it as my hair gets grayer and grayer and frankly, EF all these music celebrities! There they were, partying it up in Las Vegas at The Palms, filthy rich and famous bastards that they are. Nelly Furtado looked gorgeous as usual though, me love that girl so much I think I would renounce my gay card for her.

Speaking of being a singing superstar, I lasted about four weeks at the first karaoke singing contest held at the local watering hole last time, and got eliminated due to lack of enough people/fans voting for me. There's a new contest starting in another week and a half or so, but I'm not sure I wanna participate at all this time. I mean, the damn thing is held on a Tuesday night and starts and ends so late. Shoot man, but don't many of us have day jobs to go to the next morning? Call me an old geezer, but I can't function on just three or four hours of sleep anymore. Maybe when I was 23, but no longer. I still consider myself young, vibrant, fresh, and virile, but I admit my body ain't just what it used ta be. Alas, time to go shopping for a walker soon. AHAHAHAH!
And tomorrow is the glorious sixth anniversary of 9/11! YEEHA! Bloody hell! Six years since that stupid day that changed all of our lives forever and ushered in the most ridiculous presidential policies since the days of Richard Nixon. Bushy was supposed to become a real leader/hero and take care of business after the World Trade Center was destroyed, but instead we've earned the utter supreme and absolute hatred of the world! This month is depressing to me also because my old man died five days before the towers came down. Whatever man. The last six years have been one of scaring people, of getting us into a lame war, of economic woes, of tragic uncertainty, and of a heavy pessimistic cloud from which it seems impossible to get away from. Yes Virginia, 9/11/01 really did happen. EEK!

Your job as well as mine, is to keep going forward in this life, for what choice do we really have? 2008 elections maybe?

Saturday, September 08, 2007


Oh ye amazing YouTube, the extraordinary little repository of instantly accessible recorded footage! Some clips that bring a smile to mee face, as I hope they do for you as well:

-This late great genius director in a very witty movie trailer; irony being that he actually hated eggs and was grossed out by them:

-I love this modern Aussie band just because they remind me so much of the boys from Liverpool:

-And speaking of the boys from Liverpool, is that John taking a toke after he sings the chorus each time in this brilliant song?

-And finally, this brilliant stand-up comedian is just terrific. But you knew that already:

Thursday, September 06, 2007


Y'all remember me meeting Lacy's good-looking George Clooney/Taylor Hicks hybrid husband at work right? Just last week, she made a comment that was really quite revealing, and proof that my gaydar is in good shape! We were discussing Senator Craig's bathroom antics, when she retorts, "He's in denial, like my husband!" WAHAT??!!! COME AGAIN?! I nearly fell out of my chair, and had to feign confusion. "I tease my husband all the time about being in the closet, because he's very popular with gay men who check him out all the time; it's a running joke we share." MMMMMM HMMMMM! I SEE! Nothing further to say on that one right?! Shit, what if she found and read my blog? ;)
And as usual, The History Channel doesn't disappoint! They got this show called Mega Disasters which presents all kinds of cataclysmic catastrophic events befalling human cities and settlements and what they would look like with really convincing CGI and boy do I love me this show! Nothing like watching havoc/chaos rain down and having thousands upon thousands killed! Yeah, it would totally suck if I were one of the dead or suffering survivors in a massive LA earthquake I know, but this program really fascinates me! Comet chunks, tsunamis, super volcanoes, earthquakes, asteroids, tornadoes, frozen airplane waste, used condoms, and torn underwear are all very real destructive scenarios that could wipe out lots of people in a bloody instant! I'm so morbid I know, but the show is well done! Several good clips to watch are here.

Luciano è morto! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Signore Pavarotti, your presence and extraordinary voice have made you forever eterno:

Tuesday, September 04, 2007


SWEET MARY JANE! We've had about six days or so of really intense heat here in L.A. Us poor folk in the San Fernando Valley always have it the worst though, with temps daily in the last week in the 100s. One day I think it even got to 113 degrees. Good God man. This heat is enough to melt one's soul! And if nighttime is supposed to be a relief, well good luck; it only goes down to the 90s or 80s. Pretty muggy, miserable, and sweltering.

Every year I feel the heat waves we get here are getting worse, and this year is no exception. This is Phoenix/Las Vegas weather man although I guess I have to remind myself that Southern California is really a desert after all. Whatever bitches! We had almost no rain this past winter! Wait till those winds start a'blowin' in October! Yer nice little house in the hills next to all that dry brush is gonna go up in flames! EEK!

Other than the fact that we got ass cheek-melting heat going on right now, Labor Day Weekend was purty cool. Y'all gotta watch this really cool suspense film on DVD starring the good-looking Wilson brother Luke called Vacancy. It was well done! Pretty creepy and an effective horror film without all the gore and brutality. Speaking of slashed necks and bashed-in heads, the new remake or retelling of Halloween was HARRIBLE! ABSOLUTELY APPALLING! Rob Zombie's own take/version of the John Carpenter 1978 classic is shockingly laughable; nothing but an exercise in gore with cheap acting, crude unnecessary cussing, a terrible white trash backstory, and terrible pacing! The young crowd clapped at the end (prolly since they don't know the difference between shit and shinola), but old geezer me was really missing the Jamie Lee Curtis version. Carpenter's film is a classic; a low-budget perfectly acted little teen slasher movie with some of the most excellent horror music ever composed! All hail the original Michael Myers!

At least we got free movie passes for our next visit thanks to my bud complaining to the theater manager that some in the crowd were being disruptive, which they actually were. So, no harm no foul I suppose except that I kept fidgeting in my seat during the showing stupidly hoping someone would replace the current version with a copy of the original instead. I'll have a tribute to the original Halloween sometime in October I suppose. The new version didn't even feel like it took place during the Halloween holiday to be honest. That's how lame it was.

And I finally saw The Omen, 31 years after it was made! A bit cheesy, but still effective! Way ta go Damien! I'd heard about this sick evil brat bastard for years, and finally got ta see what the fuss was all about.

Now it's time to watch The Omen 2006 remake and be disappointed huh?