Friday, November 02, 2012


Halloween was quiet and spent with a friend watching all kinds of silly TV, but I enjoyed myself tremendously nonetheless!  Must've been the enhanced chocolate I had.  Catch my drift? LOL!  Thank God for THC!  It makes me very giggly, hungry, and super horny.  MY MY!  

I haven't blogged much the last few months because I've been busy thinking too much and not being able to put it into words.  There is so much going on really.  Summer was horrendous here in L.A.  For weeks, temperatures were very hot and nights were really really humid.  Even as of this date, we are still going through pretty warm temps, but at least the nights have cooled down considerably, making sleep a little easier.  Werk has been dismal!  We have a new supervisor in charge who started off very sweet and phony, but soon revealed her true colours as a micro-managing whore of epic proportions!  OMG!  I cannot stand this woman!  She's Eastern European and her English is atrocious, but she's calling some heavy shots now and I have to answer to this bitch!  UGH!  How horrid!  How utterly horrid!  Yes, she's doing her job alright and I need to take my job more seriously than I do and I should be grateful to be employed in this economy and blah blah blah!  OH LORD!  My hedonistic leisurely mind/brain just don't want to process all this boring retarded reality.  It truly depresses me.  Depresses me so much to have to live in this world full of so much hypocrisy, lies, and sh*tty f*cking people.  There are times when I have really cool plans to hang with friends and I feel dreadfully sad and weepy, but I still have to put on a happy face despite my sometimes treacherous bleak moods.  The irony being, I look better than ever!  LMAO!  I even went to the opera twice in early October, dressed to the nines baby!  How can a man like myself look so good, and feel so tortured sometimes?!  I have stopped going to many bars/clubs due to the fact I'm no longer enjoying myself at these places and feel quite lonely there, opting instead to hang with a friend or two at their house/apartment; I'd much rather watch TV or a movie these days than spend an evening with gay dudes that are way too young and narcissistic or trolls who are past their prime and want young meat.   

I know Mitt Romney is a douchebag, but I'm afraid Obama is not much better, and this coming election will not stop the continuing collapse of the economy.  Americans still want to blindly believe in our lame political process, but do not want to see what our corrupt politicians have done to destroy our country.  The downfall began on 9/11 and continues to this day.  Europe is in ruins, and we are not that far off unfortunately.  Anyway, the two-party polluted system is still the norm, and it frustrates me to not have a third or fourth choice to pick from with a viable chance of winning!  ARGH!  And now ya got this really bad storm Sandy that has wrecked the East Coast and the mainstream media forgot all about the poorer countries like Haiti and Cuba of course, and NYC got all this amazing coverage like it's the center of the f*cking universe and I know there's been terrible damage, but SHUT UP ALREADY!  I'm actually willing to donate money to help the cause, but watching the hurricane coverage as it happened was so nauseating!  The news anchors are all retarded and fake!  

Listen, I'm a very fun, sensual, highly erotic, funny, witty and intelligent dude, but I want you to know I have a very dark morbid sarcastic and all-too realistic side which bothers and offends many people who want to see the glass as half full.  This country is in deep sh*t, there are mean narcissistic people out there, life is full of annoying frustrating setbacks, and we're all going to age and die.  And yet, I still keep on trying and hoping for the next fun and good moment to make life worth living all over again.  I'm always making a new cool friend or two or three so I still believe in people somehow right?

I'm becoming the late great George Carlin!  THE MAN HIT IT RIGHT ON THE HEAD:

Thursday, August 16, 2012


And we're back!

There is so much on my mind as of late, but I am generally in a positive mood this week.  I don't know if you know this, but I have songwriting abilities.  YES!  And I discovered this hidden talent of mine about a decade ago.  I recorded about four demos of my own songs, which I still have and I think it's high time I recorded them with better equipment.  My demos are pretty good; I believe my keyboard playing and "production" skills are not too shabby.  LOOK OUT GEORGE MARTIN, GUS DUDGEON, AND TIMBALAND!  LMAO!   Thanks to my co-worker/bud who is also very musical and plays guitar, it looks like both of us might be working together very soon!  OH MA GOD! Lyrics are the hardest thing to write, but I think after years of bombarding myself with Lennon/McCartney, John/Taupin, and Paul Simon, I think I can write a good line or two.  I've been rather dormant the past decade because of LIFE getting in the way, but I have never lost my desire to sing and have been regularly doing it at karaoke just to keep that creative spirit within me alive.  Gotta work the day job to keep paying the bills, but the time to act on my musical side may just very well be here!  I am excited, and while I am definitely not expecting worldwide fame or success from this; it'll be interesting to hear what my friend and I can come up with.  Sadly, I feel most music today fails to match the greatness of music in the past and it seems like everything has been done already, but it never hurts to try!  I've got more than adequate a voice and it's time I recorded it so that once I am dead, future generations will marvel at how such a fine talent like myself could have even existed.  LOL!  Listen man, I've been singing since I was about four years old,  My mom tells me I used to sing the Bee Gees.  Not that I'm old or anything.  COUGH!

I was a bit stoned the other night and somehow got caught up reading about the history of fast food.  HAHA!  It's absolutely amazing how earth-shattering and global this industry has become.  Americans spend something like 110 billion or more on this kind of food a year, and it has now gone global as one of our greatest exports of all time!  It's mind-blowing to learn all this really!  McDonald's, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's, Subway, Pizza Hut, Carl's Jr, KFC, etc.  The list goes on and on!  As delicious and addictive as this grub can be, the modern era has revealed just how unhealthy most of this stuff is to our bodies, and many of these chains have been maligned in recent years--blamed for making America fat and for cruelty to the animals used to feed an increasingly obese nation such as ours.  It's hard to believe that at one time all these places did not even exist, but the 1950s is where the burgers and fries truly began to become mass produced.  Sometimes I think of fast food joints as eye sores on the American landscape; just try and drive on any freeway anywhere across this country and you'll always see one of these places on the side of the road.  EEK!  One of the interesting facts most people don't realize is the reason why fast food became so popular in the last fifty years or so is because more women had to leave the house to go to work, so the home-cooked meal has essentially become a thing of the past.    Interestingly enough, In-N-Out Burger, which is primarily in the Southwestern U.S. is one of the highest rated and "healthiest" of all the fast food places currently in existence for their use of very natural ingredients.  I tells ya, their burgers are really delicious!  

Damn it!  I wish I'd written this song!  From 1975:


Thursday, July 26, 2012


Last Thursday was a big BIG day!  This blog turned EIGHT years old!  WOW!  COME ON NOW!  HOW ABOUT A LITTLE COMMENT CONGRATULATING THIS LITTLE SPACE ON THE INTERNET?!  EIGHT YEARS MAN!  Not only that, but it was also my 22nd birthday!  WOOHOO!  I'm still so young and hung, and full of...LIFE!  LMAO!

Yeah so I won't mention that evil dude specifically by name who went into the movie theater and killed all those people last Friday.  Gun violence is a terrible thing folks.  And this country is world famous for breeding psychos who go postal and kill folk in one heinous rampage such as what we witnessed yet again last week!  Our laws are retarded, and where we should be strict and harsh we are not!  Now they'll spend all this money keeping this creep locked up, feeding him, giving him free health care, and having all kinds of shrinks and so-called mental health professionals studying him and trying to understand what went wrong and why he was sent over the edge as to amass such a large arsenal of weapons in his apartment and then on to killing those people at the movies.  Why did the poor baby lose it and decide to murder twelve average Americans (including a six-year old girl); how can it be prevented to never happen again?!  OH THE HORROR OF YET ANOTHER MASS SHOOTING!  Listen to me you dumbf*cks!  Stop the freakin' questions and stop the waste of taxpayer money and put the clown to death already!  THIS IS HOW YOU STOP THIS MADNESS FROM HAPPENING AGAIN!  TIME TO BE STRICT AND HEARTLESS!  I often find nowadays the victims are the ones who don't get justice whilst the criminals get all kinds of perks and special treatment!  The Norwegians are still trying to figure out and sympathize with their mass shooting creepo a year after he murdered all those teens!  REALLY?!  WHAT THE HELL?!!  FRY HIS ASS ALREADY!  FRY HIM!  TORTURE AND SEND HIM TO THE STAKE, NO FURTHER QUESTIONS!  GUILTY BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT RIGHT?!  UGH!  But our justice system is supposed to be the fairest and most reasonable.  Yeah okay.  YUCK!  What do I know about human rights, and do I even care?  All I know is that our time here is so very temporary and that we can be taken at any moment.   I don't understand or know why we are so vulnerable or mortal, but it's reality and all this negativity humans like to create is pointless and worthless when we're just gonna end up in an urn or coffin in the end!  You can call me a conspiracy theorist, but part of me wonders if this guy even acted alone.  Hmmm...

Ever since the Olympics came to Los Angeles in 1984, I've always been a big fan.  I mean, to see these very young people in such excellent shape doing such extraordinary things is a real treat to me.  As I grew older and began to realize my true sexual orientation, it also became pretty evident I wanted to watch the Olympics for the dudes and their hot bods.  AHAHAHAHAHA!  Let's face it, those gymnasts are very short and look stunted but they got some really nice muscular builds.  The real eye candy though, comes with the swimmers and divers.  MAMA MIA!  Those long tall sleek and perfect lean bodies are something to behold!  I sometimes regret not having trained to become an Olympian, but what poor shy Latino kid like myself do you know of that ever really makes it to the Olympic Games?  Besides, I never really learned how to swim.  I know, it's embarrassing to admit, but I had a bad near-drowning incident when I was about four that I never got over, but it's never too late to learn right?!  Hey, maybe that should be a goal for me this summer: to learn how to finally freakin' swim!  OMG!  LOLOL!  I've been saying this for years, but I will become as great as that nerd/geek Michael Phelps before I die!  Speaking of Michael, he is so damn hot!  I know he's got weird teeth and a dorky face, but I'd take him in a heartbeat!  Michael likes weed here and there, and that makes him cool in my book, but he also has the perfect swimmer's bod.  Well, the big day is tomorrow, as London hosts the 2012 Games.  WOW!  There's a city I'd love to visit as well.  Man, so much to do before I finally croak!  SO MUCH!  And by the way, those divers are often gay.  SO VERY GAY.  Like really really homosexual.  LOLOL!

Thursday, July 12, 2012


I would have never moved in here had I known!  I've got the neighbors from hell.  These people are the trashiest, most obnoxious, loudest and worthless wastes of space I've ever had the displeasure of living next to.  I've only lived here a year since I became a victim of the housing crisis, but it's been enough to make me wish for something terrible to happen to these barbarians.  My place is nice and cozy and charming, and the whole entire block here is full of pretty respectful and hard-working people who keep their homes looking pretty nice and clean.  BUT THESE NEIGHBORS?!  EEK!  These heathens are drug addicts, foul-mouthed, and have at least eight children who are all under the age of 10!  I've lost count, but I think the two sisters live in the complex with their kids and one of them has her sperm donor there, but then again both of the sisters just had babies and the kids are from different daddies and their mother is there too and their landlord lives in the back but he recently got evicted and it's just a never ending nightmare from these rats.  Yes, they're rats!  Some days are actually pretty peaceful and quiet, but those are rare.   Every day those kids are out playing and making noise.  The sisters battle each other or their respective baby daddies.  Epic cussing from everyone there, including the kids!  Every time I leave my house I walk away from that cursed dwelling and avoid them at all costs!  These savages must be on welfare, but recently someone was smart/brave enough to call Child Protective Services on them and the police to get them in trouble!  AND IT WASN'T ME BELIEVE IT OR NOT!  LMAO!  Oh, how I cannot wait for these people to be murdered!  Yes, including the children!  The kids like to talk sh*t as one walks by their place and act just as bad as their parents!  Look at the way they're being raised; what possible future can one expect from these spawns?  NONE!  All the houses on my block look nice, but theirs?! Devoid of any grass or trees and there's always trash all over the place.  It looks like something you'd find in a horror film! LOL!  As I write this, the two sisters are fighting each other and one of the babies is crying!  So when is the law going to take care of these losers?!  OH PLEASE BABY JESUS, SMITE THEM WITH ALL YOUR POWER AND GLORY, THESE DEMONIC SATAN-POSSESSED HUMANOIDS FROM HELL!  Quite frankly, they don't really ever mess with us directly, but it's the noise and disturbance they cause that makes it unbearable.  If this doesn't cease, I'll have no choice but to move; I've actually started to look for a new place.  Crossing my fingers daily they will all die during the night and peace at last will come with the next sunrise...

I wish I had as many readers and comments like I used to get back in the heyday of this blog, but I guess ever since I had my heart ripped and crushed to shreds back in 2010 + the brutal recovery and beyond, my posts have never been the same.  Some have accused me of being too negative or not moving on or focusing too much on NARCISSISM.  Yes okay, perhaps I have spent way too much time on dreary and all too-real material, but I never foresaw learning the painful, yet VALUABLE lessons I have in the past three years or so!  It has been nothing short of eye-opening my friends, and I'm afraid I'll never be the same again!  I don't wanna give up on love or people either mind you!   Because no matter what, I truly do believe that there are good humans out there still!  So ya see?  I'm not that embittered YET!  I do however recognize and am much more cautious about who to allow in my life and into my heart from now on.  ANYONE WHO DISPLAYS AWFUL RED FLAG NARCISSISTIC WARNING SIGNALS simply does not make it past a few words with me anymore.  I cannot stand abusive, controlling, or petty folk.  Gay men that are interested in tearing down others because of the way they dress or look turn me off, as do those who focus only on reality shows and stupid FAKEBOOK trivial nonsense are immediately disqualified from my life.  I want people to have a heart, a mind, and a soul!  EMPATHY!  A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOUR!  I want people to be kind, generous, and show some caring!  I want people to be smart and intelligent and can talk about art, world events, and our strange incredible existences!  I want to be enriched and my self-esteem to be lifted, not dragged down by some awful toxic person.  So often, emotionally giving people like myself miss these negative clues because we want to be tolerant or kind to others, but F*CK that.  NO MORE.  I'm not saying I've become an asshole or a jerk, but I have learned to draw more healthy boundaries.  At least I hope I have.  I'm obviously not perfect, nor will I ever be, but I am trying my best to not get steamrolled ever again by bad humans.  One will always run into sh*tty individuals at work or in public, but the trick is to not allow them to make you miserable!  Always keep calm and do not allow their toxicity to ruin your happiness!  Maybe my terrible neighbors are yet another lesson in humility?! LOL!




Great song and this video is purty neat:

Thursday, July 05, 2012

SUMMER 2012.

I just bought a new laptop!  My friend Larry was nice to help me choose a cheap, yet quite effective Toshiba!  I really needed a new one, because my old Dell was just embarrassing; speakers were blown out, the battery only lasted five minutes, my DVD player was broken, I had tons of viruses, etc.  I promise to take care of my new laptop ok?  I dropped the other one quite a few times, but it was so ridiculously heavy!  My new one is pretty light and seems more disposable (Made in China, LOL), but it will do!  I'm typing my first ever blog post on it!  As my friend back in Kentucky would say, "RIVETING."  LOLOLOLOL!

Oh kids, in two weeks I'm having yet another birthday.  MY GOD!  How time flies.  Yesterday was Independence Day, and I went to a local barbecue in the afternoon and got to hear my ghetto neighborhood turn into a war zone at night as everyone set off their illegal fireworks!  Oh brother!  At least my mom and I got to see the professional show in the distance from our front doorstep, which was actually a nice treat/surprise.  I tells ya what, it makes me very grateful sometimes to have been born in these United States.  Despite the fact I'm not rich, I have so many things to be thankful for.  This country has been a remarkable economic, technological, cultural, social, and creative marvel/force unlike anything the world has ever seen!  The opportunity to become anything you really want no matter what class you were born into has really been a wonderful ideal--the American Dream.  I don't want to get into how all this has gone down the toilet in the last decade or so and how America is now becoming a country of super rich elites where the middle class is being wiped out and all those great democratic ideals have now been torn to pieces and we have effectively pissed all over our Constitution--I'd like to think of this country as what it used to be; where everything was possible and there were seemingly no limits to one's potential.  I know that slavery was shitty and that women and gays had no rights, so for all that social/civil progress we have achieved I am happy I am living now, but I don't like the direction this once GREAT nation is going.  So much divisiveness, growing poverty, lack of jobs, corruption, greed, selfishness, and increasing crime.  Democrats and Republicans are all in bed together, yet people are still stupid enough to believe in these two parties!  Congress is full of greedy corrupt filthy rich millionaires who don't give a crap about the common working American!  We need a REVOLUTION damn it!  Those brave Founding Fathers that stood up to the English king; you won't find leaders like that anymore.  It's sad, but no one has the balls to die for the cause in these times!  We're all f*cking cowards!  Patrick Henry said it best, "Give me Liberty, or give me Death!"  Americans now are happy to take it up the rear as long as their favorite crappy reality show is on television!  UGH!  We're a nation of brainwashed dolts, seemingly unaware of how much this awesome country is now tanking!  We've become lazy and complacent.  Spoiled rotten really.

I want you to enjoy every good moment you can.  I got very sick about two weeks ago and it sucked!  Stomach flu or food poisoning, but it scared me very much, because I am never that ill.  This year has been one of spiritual awakening for me.  I am a gregarious fun loving man with a dry sarcastic cynical sense of humour, but as I grow older I have come to realize that people or substances cannot be depended on for one's emotional stability or happiness.  Happiness has to come from within really, and you must cultivate your own self-esteem and confidence.  I'm not saying there aren't good people out there, but I am saying that heartbreak and disappointment caused by others is very real and sadly all too common nowadays.  I firmly believe relationships should last a lifetime, but then again maybe I'm clingy and co-dependent?  I dunno man, but I want to believe in good friendships and true love; perhaps this is why I want my faith in God to grow?  I just don't think the universe happened by itself or that the miracle of Planet Earth and all this life just evolved!  THERE HAS TO BE A GOD!  I'll go into it more some other time, when I don't feel so plagued by random thoughts, but I will say that to believe in a Higher Power offers me a comfort I cannot find in ANY human being as of late.   Faith is powerful, and should not be taken lightly!  I am emotionally and physically vulnerable!  I NEED GOD IN MY LIFE!  A LOVING TOLERANT GOD THAT LOVES AND BELIEVES IN ME!  More on this to come...

I still love Radiohead.  They're weird and brilliantly unconventional:

Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I know.  I get it.  Children are the future.  And having kids and raising them must be so satisfying.  UGH!  PLEASE!  Listen, I truly admire and understand people who want to reproduce and raise their kids right with enough money and a good education.  BUT!  We live in such a terribly irresponsible world, full of lowlives and overbreeding maniacs who think having kids is some sort of badge of honour!  WELL NO!  I TELLS YA NO!  STOP THE F*CKING INSANITY ALREADY!  The Earth is disgustingly overpopulated!  And so many people out there are not fit to take care of themselves, let alone a child.  I'm very detached from all this since I am not sexually attracted to women and perhaps do not understand why there is a such a biological sexual need to dump yer load into a warm wet vagina and knock a woman up, but I am glad in the end I don't have to deal with this burden of bringing kids into the world.  Call me bitter or cynical, but as much as life can be uplifting and full of truly great and wonderful moments, most of life is frustrating and irritating and quite boring and mundane.  And don't sit there and pretend like it's all full of charm and happiness because it is not.  I just don't want to bring kids into this cruel fucked up mortal existence.  I can barely tolerate it myself! LOL!  And to see how the world is unfolding and the way things are going makes it an even scarier prospect!  WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!  Proud of having two, three, or four kids!  UGH!  YUCK! It's like rats or rabbits gone amok!  I keep harping on this overpopulation issue, but we are up to SEVEN BILLION humans on the planet!  THAT IS EGREGIOUS AND RIDICULOUS!  OVERTAXING AND STRAINING AN ALREADY EXASPERATED MOTHER NATURE!  People need to really think twice before having kids, and one child should really be enough in this already polluted world.  At least China has taken steps to stop this madness, but INDIA and AFRICA, and LATIN AMERICA are still churning out more humans for us to contend with.  HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!  WHEN WILL THIS ALL END?!  And what about our beloved UNITED STATES of AMERIKKKA?!  There's no true birth control here!  And people piss and moan about abortion; I say THANK GOD WE HAVE ABORTIONS!  THANK GOD!  We are overpopulated enough already in this country and it just keeps getting worse.  Our economy is in the crapper, people are getting crazier doing more sick insane violent things--this is no time to be having a litter of children!  My ghetto trash neighbors have tons of kids; these people are obviously on welfare and proud of their brats I'm sure.  Bunch of stupid wastes of space.  What future can those kids possibly have?!  The chances are slim to none.  I wish to offend no one who is reading this who believes in breeding and children, but I DON'T CARE!  I JUST DON'T!  Cats and dogs get put to sleep all the time, why are we so much better or f*cking special?!  SHUT UP!  STFU!  ENOUGH!   Thank you.  If my generation has had a hard time coping with life, what will the new generation of computer and gadget-obsessed entitled kids be like?!  YIKES!  My family believes in reproducing and boy have they done a good job, but it's gone too far!  MA GOD MAN!  That's a lot of child support!  LMAO!  Ironically,  I happen to be very nice and quite good with kids since I feel sorry for them and the imperfect existence they have inherited.  If your only legacy is to have children, then something is wrong with you.  Remember, they are NOT YOUR kids.  They are their own independent-thinking individuals, but many parents never see this.  I have heard the rich elite will be doing something about all these people in the near future.  A culling of humans perhaps through war or disease?  Hmmm...

Eric Arthur Blair, better known by his pen name George Orwell, was a brilliant English writer best remembered for his immortal books, 1984 and Animal Farm.  I read both years ago and was amazed at his very dark and REALISTIC view on life and human nature.  1984 is famous for its motto "BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU" and a bleak look at the future where all our rights are taken away and we are all ruled by an all-seeing and omniscient entity.  What is perhaps most disturbing is that Orwell's fictional book has already begun to happen in the AMERIKKKA and world of today!  FAKEBOOK and GOOGLE wanting all our personal information and storing our data like some sort of evil government databases.  The TSA doing bizarre and invasive body searches at airports.  The Constitution being trampled on and ignored.  The Federal Bank and its minions getting away with crimes that any ordinary citizen would be put in jail for.  Congress being bought off by lobbyists and politicians allowing the average taxpayer to be robbed.  I don't see this country or world heading into the right direction except into some sort of total one world government.  BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.  You better believe it.  We are monitored and watched at every moment.  This blog, your mobile phone, your laptop, your Ipad, your retail purchases, etc. I know many think Ron Paul and Alex Jones are crazy or conspiracy theorists, but many of the things they have been bitching about for years have come to pass!  THAT IS WHAT MAKES IT SCARY!  If you believe NAZI GERMANY can never happen again, you are delusional and need to wake up.  History can always repeat itself.  We have achieved many civil rights and social progress, but that does not mean we are secure.  Things could go awry at any moment and nothing should be taken for granted.  Humans are fallible imperfect and evil creatures once they are dealing with money and power, and all I see is a bunch of crooks in charge of or country right now; the world period has some really crummy leaders!  LOL!  Keep your eyes peeled.  Observe how it all unfolds.  Vote for Romney or Obama, it truly won't matter now.

I like the Scissor Sisters.  Their new album is fun:

Thursday, May 24, 2012


There was an annular solar eclipse this past Sunday right?  NOW 2012 WILL TRULY TAKE OFF! MOOHOOHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...

I went to the free public health clinic with my friend last week to get all our complete thorough STD testing done.  Everything looks good so far, although the HIV test is always a bit nerve-racking, regardless of how careful I've been.  I've done this so many times now I've lost count, but as a responsible adult, one has to keep up with this at least once a year.  Lord knows I'm no longer the promiscuous pig of yesteryear, but ya never know, so it's best to get tested to make sure I don't have any bugs in my blood.  

It's amazing how time flies man!  And while I usually like what I see in the mirror these days, I am conscious of the fact I am getting older.  To be pushing my forties thirties here is worrying me just a bit.  Not because of the number, but I want to be able to hold on to my facade as long as possible!  LOLOLOL!  GOOD LAWD MAN!  I see all these celebs and their incredible amount of fame and wealth, and yet none of them can stop the hands of time, regardless of how many cosmetic procedures they pay for.  AND THEY STILL CAN'T STOP DEATH!  Steve Jobs was worth billions and cancer ate him up last year!  Whitney's drug habit was too much and she expired.  And Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys, Donnna Summer, and Robin Gibb all succumbed to cancer not long ago!  ALL OF THEM FAMOUS AND SUPER WEALTHY!  What a cruel joke!  If these larger than life people die, WHAT HOPE DO US MERE MORTALS HAVE?!  Oh boy!  I know that life has a meaning and purpose, but our species is quite a sad and conflicted one.  Our mortality should make us do great things and seize the moment, but it also makes us very vulnerable and worthless.  It's quite a dichotomy really.  I guess making a name for yourself or influencing others in a positive manner should be our primary goal.  We must not fear achieving what we want to, because we truly are on borrowed time.  This 74 year-old crazy hysterical German co-worker of mine truly believes she will live another 500 years because she says she is healthy and has a positive attitude.  She says the technology to keep us indefinitely alive will be around in the next decade or two thanks to stem cell research.  Of course I had to interject with, "But what if you're in a terrible car accident? Medicine can't save you from severe trauma to the body!"  She said the chances of that happening to her were low and that she cannot wait to live hundreds of years.  LMAO!  I hope her delusional outlook can sustain her as long as possible.  She just had to say, that because I am constantly depressed, I probably won't live as long as her.  GEE THANKS!!  I'm not depressed, I just know what reality is all about honey.  R-E-A-L-I-T-Y!  Besides, I'm not sure I want to have a long life anyway...

This Facebook going on the stock market.  I mean, hasn't this retarded social network been way overvalued!?  MY GOD!  I almost wish I'd never joined FAKEBOOK, but peer pressure did me in and it is a pretty good way to promote this amazing genius blog of mine.  I look at the design and can't get over the simple white interface with cheap blue and gray trim!  It's stupid!  JUST STUPID!  AND WE'VE ALL FALLEN FOR IT! ARGH!  They claim 900 MILLION USERS WORLDWIDE?!  THAT IS ASTONISHING!  The money they say is made from advertising, but I never really click those side ads and on mobile phones, you don't even see them. WHERE ARE THEY GETTING ALL THESE STAGGERING AMOUNTS OF CASH?!  All of these punks and beatches associated with FAKEBOOK are filthy rich! Mark SUCKERberg is OOGLY as hell but he's worth billions!  HOW?!  WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!  He stole the idea from others didn't he?  I haven't even seen The Social Network, but I've read the story behind the creation of this empire, and it all seems really fishy and dirty.  The twins claim Mark stole their idea, but then there's that Brazilian guy who got a share of it and gave up U.S. citizenship not long ago to avoid taxes; everyone involved in FAKEBOOK seems rather sketchy, corrupt, and super greedy, which is why I am kind of glad its stocks are not doing well!  I'd like to see it come down actually.  I've never used my real name or personal information there; I find it pointless and just another way to keep track of me.  Must be some sort of government database--posting my pics and having this blog is incriminating enough!  Many think FAKEBOOK is the apex of all social networks and that it is here to stay for a very long time, but then again MySpace was really big for a while too and it has come crashing down quick.  Nothing lasts forever, and the next bigger and better social network may be just around the corner.  American fads don't last long, especially in today's globally interconnected and highly mutative world.  I'm not going to join the next social network by the way.  I refuse to fall into these traps again.  I'm already monitored enough and I've divulged way too much already!  AHAHAHAHAHA!  Y'all know the size of my penis for crying out loud!  True friends and those who matter in your life will use the old-fashioned phone to contact you.  Plain and simple.

Miguel Bosé from Spain in the mid 80s.  A good-looking lad he was!  AND VERY GAY! LOL:

Thursday, May 17, 2012


I thank you for reading and most especially for commenting. It motivates me to keep on writing/posting.

Do you have an office cubicle job?  I do.  I work for a government agency.  Been 11 years now!  Well, 9 really if you count all the time I've taken off! LOLOL!  I tells ya what: when I first started there it was really great.  Maybe I was in the honeymoon phase?  The place was managed pretty effectively and the employees really seemed to do their best and get the job done.  But something has happened here.  Forget my mood or work ethic going down.  The hard economic times has been a boom for our office--swamped with plenty of work but everyone is losing it and really trying to do the best they can under the increasing stressful circumstances.  I get that there are decent workers in there fighting the good fight.  But they keep hiring more people and we're running out of space!  And not all the new hires are competent or efficient !  And some of the old employees are still there just taking up space because they have seniority!  GOOD LORD MAN!  Just because someone shows up every day to work and on time does not make them a stellar employee.  I mean, you actually have to work and produce right?! But I often see people sitting at their desks doing absolutely nothing but surfing the web, or reading books, or just plain gossiping the whole day away!  Like me.  WHAT THE HELL?! Is this a problem only government jobs are prone to, or do all white-collar office jobs have this going on?!  IS THIS THE HARDWORKING AMERICA I've always heard of, or is the office now a place for people to come to and get away from their house for a few hours simply to pass the time?! LMAO!  I'm not sure if I am making my point clear here, but something is amiss!  I am grateful however for this job on so many levels!  The pay is decent.  The days off are really nice.  The medical benefits are marvelous compared to what most of America gets nowadays and the security is pretty good unlike the decaying workplaces across our country.  My stupidvisor can be a nice lady and all, but she is highly incompetent on so many levels as are many in charge there!  But she has seniority!  So she gets to keep her job!  No wonder I've slacked off the past few years!  IF SHE CAN GET AWAY WITH IT, WHY CAN'T I?  Except she shows up to work daily. And on time.  Oh well.  I'm trying to reform my deviated and irresponsible ways and get back to being a good employee like I used to be; before terrible depression and apathy took over my life and nearly destroyed me some two years ago.  I should've been doing what I love (whatever that may be) years ago, but something has kept me trapped.  It's okay.  I don't beat myself up for it anymore.  I have lots to be proud of and at least have a job!  OMG!  DID I JUST WRITE THAT?!  AHAHHAHAHA!  I feel good about myself this week.  And that's just so rare nowadays!  It may be because we're finally starting to see the collapse of the WESTERN WORLD (Greece and Europe) and my twisted morbid doomsday mind is enjoying it!  I know, I'm evil.  ;-)  Capitalism is unraveling...

Mexican author Carlos Fuentes is dead.  He was one of the world's great writers and intellectuals.  He was 83 years old and succumbed to a sudden stomach hemorrhage.  There are tons and tons of articles on his passing Tuesday afternoon.  I can't even begin to link them all here, but his death has deeply saddened me and many all over the world.  I watched this 5-part series years ago on PBS called The Buried Mirror which Carlos hosted, and he was marvelous.  It is based on a book/essay he wrote originally in Spanish (El espejo enterrado) where he discusses Spain and the conquest of Latin America.  Very very interesting and enlightening stuff.  If you can read the book or watch the series, I urge you to!  It's a great historical account/perspective on why the region is the way it is now.  Carlos was a well-traveled man and was the son of Mexican diplomats.  He grew up and lived everywhere and his English was impeccable!  A true renaissance figure with fascinating insights on his beloved Mexico; his last years alive were spent discussing his fear and concern for the increasing drug violence there.  Carlos was married twice and had a daughter with his first wife who survives him.  He suffered personal tragedy losing his two children from his second wife.  His son died of leukemia and his daughter of a drug overdose I believe--both before the age of 30.  Nevertheless, he kept on writing and traveling, always enriching his mind and us with his fabulous lectures and writings.  His most famous novels are Aura, The Death of Artemio Cruz, and Old Gringo which was made into an American film starring Jane Fonda and Gregory Peck  He never won the Nobel Prize which he so richly deserved, but Hitchcock never got an Oscar either--the world is a dumber place now that he's gone, but better for having given us this incredible man and his immortal words in print. RIP sir.


Monday, May 14, 2012



I was reading old blog posts from a few years back and I used to write some very interesting essays and discuss all kinds of topics--WTF HAPPENED TO ME?!  LOLOLOL!  GOOD LORD!  Has my job and love life embittered me this much?!  I'm kind of shocked at how much I've neglected this blog and been uninspired the last year or so to even write anymore!  This dreadful depression has thwarted my creativity!  I say no more!  NO MORE!  I am still surviving and have lots to be grateful for.  I am aging like fine wine and my brain can still crank out a good post!  I've got lots I could write about.  So lemme begin:
Okay, so Europe is in big economic trouble!  BIG!  THIS IS IT FOLKS!  The Euro is collapsing.  Greece is probably going to go back to its old currency, because they are in shambles.  Spain is f*cked too.  Italy as well.  The whole damn European Union is falling apart.  The leaders don't know what to do, and everyone that has tried to implement cuts and austere measures is getting voted out.  The people have had enough of unemployment and financial woes.  Banks are crumbling and there seems to be no end in sight.  Sound like the United States?  OF COURSE!  Listen, I don't care if Mitt Romney wins, or Obama is re-elected, our country is in big economic trouble too!  Don't for a second believe the lies about unemployment going down or that things will get better, because it's just not true!  I want you to be happy and enjoy life and keep on drinking and screwing, because we are facing some serious dire times ahead!  The middle class is being wiped out and the rich are just gonna get richer.  GREED IS DESTROYING THE WORLD!  The last politician worth voting for who at least pretended to care was Bill Clinton, but something went terribly wrong after 9/11.  America was changed forever, and I think these crooks in Congress and just about anyone in authority has now blatantly shown their true colors: THEY DO NOT CARE ABOUT US WORKING CLASS PEASANTS!  Okay, so it's nice that Obama supports gay marriage, but how is this really going to change things?  He wants votes; it's all a political move and a very historic one I must say, but the reality is that we are facing much more pressing issues!  Besides the worldwide economic depression (Japan is in bad shape too), we're now 7 billion humans on Planet Earth and the overtaxing of our resources is at an all-time dangerous high.  Mother Nature seems to be getting much more destructive; is she trying to tell us something and kicking our asses for all the abuse we've inflicted on our precious home? And have you noticed how violent and crazy people have become?  To hear of mass shooting sprees and other terrible crimes is not all that uncommon anymore and growing at an alarming rate!  

On Friday May 4th, a little over a week ago, I went to the Hollywood Bowl to see COLDPLAY!  I had been wanting tickets for the past few months, but they were sold out.  I got lucky though, and two days before the show, a friend who has connections got me last-minute tix and very good seats!  YEEHA!  They were not cheap, but so what?!  My crazy and very funny friend Roland went with me and we had a blast!  I had a little bit of pot brownie ok, but it was a very enjoyable and colorful show.  I was very energized, and those two 13 year-old white boys dancing and screaming and singing along next to us were a hoot!  LOVED THOSE KIDS!  We got along fab!  I was wondering if Nick & Nick (best friends I assume), are going to be future gay men, because their behavior was very suspect. LMAO!  They were so funny and full of life and cute as hell.  I loved their energy and I even told the older gentleman there with them (probably Dad), that I acted their age most of the time!  He smiled and appreciated my affection for the boys.  AND NO IT WAS NOT SEXUAL AT ALL, I merely saw them as nephews--they took me back to a time when I was full of life as they are now.  It was wonderful!  There were actually three shows that week, I ended up going to the final one.  My 14 year-old niece saw them earlier that same week and she loved it too.  My friend took lots of pictures, but he still hasn't posted them yet.  I'm bugging him to do so.  It's not easy to get into the Bowl; parking is a bitch and ya either gotta walk a lot uphill to get to the venue or endure a 15-minute ride on a shuttle that made me a little claustrophobic.  Once you're there though, it is a fun and magical place.   

See? Despite the falling apart of our world, I can still have a good time!  Someone here took some good video highlights of our show:

What say you?

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


A bit of a humming sound in this, but I hope you enjoy my new music suggestions:

Thursday, February 23, 2012


Hi! Hope you've had a good February! I've been ok here and there. I'm happiest when amongst friends or when drinking/stoned. I know, I shouldn't have to rely on substances for my happiness, but my mind wanders and thinks of the very saddest worst things when alone and sober, and then I fall into very depressive episodes which are very hard for me to get out of. Only TWO TRULY GOOD FRIENDS of mine get what I am talking about. Everyone else is so busy or tells me to get over it ya know? I guess I shouldn't blame people for being self-absorbed or selfish; they do have THEIR own lives and issues to deal with to stop and worry or care about mine. Sadness is a very powerful emotion which I constantly struggle against though. I see the beauty in life all the time: Nature. A hug. A funny TV show. Good health. A nice meal. Stuff like that I always DO appreciate. But then the grim stuff takes over: Nasty evil people. My mortality. Loving those I shouldn't. My annoying job. I wish this kind of negative thinking did not plague me, but I can't deny that it does. I look in the mirror. Do I like the man that I see? Sometimes I do! Sometimes I do see a very handsome man staring right back and I feel most fortunate for having these genes. Other times I feel I'm not tanned enough, nor muscular enough, but I live in this superficial hellhole LA, so I guess it's understandable. LOL! Anyway, nothing really new to report about my life. I still have my physical health, but mentally and emotionally I do falter sometimes. The good news? I ALWAYS MANAGE TO BEAT MY DEMONS! I ALWAYS TRIUMPH. ALWAYS!!! Now gimme a hug and a kiss...

So I've been fascinated by Greta Garbo as of late. GRETA F*CKING GARBO! The great Swedish DIVA MOVIE SUPERSTAR! This was a very very interesting lady I must say! She was very close to her family and started acting lessons and other jobs in front of the camera while growing up in Sweden. Somehow though she got noticed by Louis B. Mayer (head of MGM) and her director friend and her came to Hollywood when she was still a teenager in the early 1920's or so I believe. She was a natural beauty when shown in front of a camera. She started off in silent films, then moved on to talkies and triumphed even further as one big giant popular movie star. At one point, she was the highest paid of them all, earning about $300,000 a film in the 1930s! WOW! In those days that was a lot of cash! Hell it still is a lot of moola! She had that cool accent and very nice cheekbones, LOL! She worked for only about twenty years and made about 25 AMERICAN movies before retiring from HOLLYWOOD in the 1940s. THIS IS QUITE REMARKABLE because she was only in her mid-thirties! The right roles never came again, and she was a very very private woman anyway. She hated publicity, attending movie premieres and parties, or having to sign autographs. She was quite the loner. She spent the rest of her life in NEW YORK CITY living off the money she had already made. Every time she went out, she'd wear large hats and sunglasses to keep the paparazzi from getting a good picture of her. Garbo was certainly unique for her mysterious and carefully protected private life. Many claim she had affairs not just with men but with women as well. She lived a long life and finally died in 1990 at the age of 84 with a net worth of about 32 million dollars. NOT BAD! NOT BAD AT ALL! I've seen three of her films I think: Grand Hotel, Ninotchka, and Queen Christina; the latter being my favorite.

You gotta go to YouTube directly to view this documentary on the very enigmatic Ms. Garbo, but it is pretty good:

Friday, January 13, 2012


How's yer 2012 so far? Mine has been cruising along...

I am about 6ft. 2 inches tall and have now reached a nice healthy weight of abou
t 175lbs! This is most exciting to me because I've been so painfully thin most of my life, and in 2010 when I was going through terrible heartbreak, I went down to about 150lbs. It was quite horrible lemme tells ya; I looked HOLOCAUSTIC and very ill. Just this past week, two different people remarked that I'm sporting quite a beautiful bod these days. IS THIS NOT WONDERFUL TO HEAR?! OF COURSE IT IS! WHY LIE?! To hear genuine compliments is very uplifting. This world is full of so many mean nasty horrible jealous people; when one runs into honest praise, it can really make a difference in one's self-esteem. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and compliments were not passed around very often; then came the mean kids in school of course! One thing I was often told when I was a kid was that I was intelligent and my dad reassured me when I was a teen that it did not matter that I was skinny, he said I would get far because I have a big d*ck. LMAO! Well, the old man was right I suppose, but I want to be the complete package now into my adulthood! Here in my late thir...TWENTIES (excuse me), I think I've reached the best looks of my life yet. All I need now is some laser resurfacing to remove some acne scars on my face. Maybe a good airbrush tan would help? I know I know, I'm trying to be all HOLLYWOOD now, but why not? Why not take pride in one's looks? I'd like to whiten my choppers a bit more as well, but that is definitely going to be painful because I have very sensitive teeth. Maybe the fake tan will take care of it and make my teeth seem super white for good. LOL! So I've now achieved a very nice lean, but toned look, thanks in part to my daily routine of push-ups in the morning. Push-ups are a godsend and I do them much more effortlessly than even a year ago! They really do give ya a nice athletic look. Someone else just a few months ago remarked I had achieved a nice V-shape look to my torso. AHAHAHAHHAAHAA. It's taken a long time to reach this gay milestone my friends. Eat your heart out Adam Levine!

I'm going to talk abo
ut poppers. If you're a homo, I'm only stating the obvious. These little bottles of what they call "video head cleaner" or "liquid incense" are very powerful inhaled chemicals that bring a rush of euphoria and sexual desire to the user. It used to be amyl nitrate I believe, which was used for those suffering from angina, but then the gays somehow discovered them and they became all the rage in the 70s when disco was QUEEN and free sex was enjoyed in all its glory. Then AIDS came around and there were theories that poppers were the direct cause of AIDS, but it wasn't true, it was just that they made ya hornier and more prone to having unsafe condomless sex. Anyway, poppers are fun and they relax your butthole and turn you into a raging ravenous SEXUAL BEAST. I had never tried them, nor was I interested for many many years. But then I was stoned out of my mind once and inhaled a bit and the rest is history. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! The combination of 420 and poppers has got to be the most exhilarating sexual experience in the history of humanity. By themselves, I get a headache and dizzy, but on weed they are marvelously erotic. They can't be good for you though. They must do some sort of long-term damage which I am not fully aware of yet, nor can anyone prove it through many articles I have read. UGH! Whatever man. Something will kill ya one of these days! MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THIS SHORT BIZARRE RIDE RIGHT?! Mind you, many gay men DO NOT like poppers because they complain of the headaches and other side effects, so it is not for everybody. You still gotta have the right chemistry with your sexual partner, or it will inevitably be lame sex anyway, despite the brief moment of DESIRE you feel. Nothing replaces true sexual or relationship chemistry, no matter what drug you use! It's the closest thing to meth sex, without the horrors of becoming a speed addict. I'd love to hear your thoughts on POPPERS! REALLY!


Tuesday, January 03, 2012



Well, well, well! Lemme give ya a recap of things. November sucked! I had the flu most of the month and Thanksgiving really depressed me. Yes. I was so depressed! We had good food and all, but I was most blue. Then December came. Not much better I'm afraid. I did get over that horrible flu, but then I had to deal with a cough. And what a cough! UGH! It was very annoying and quite debilitating. I wasn't alone, as many people were quite sick as well. My mother has me a bit worried actually, she has a cough that won't quit, but Imma give her some strong meds I got last week that I never used for my cough, because mine is almost gone. So far this post is riveting ain't it?! AREN'T YOU JUST GRIPPED WITH MY WRITING?! LOLOLOL! I tells ya what, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO glad the holidays are over. Not a big fan. My cousin and her husband drove from Oklahoma to spend Xmas with us, and it was most nice to have them, but I feel like all this forced holiday cheer is bogus and BORING! Anyway, I'm on the hunt for a more fulfilling and satisfying job, so keep your fingers crossed. I have a feeling this will be THE YEAR for my career! DID YA READ THAT?! YES! HOPE FOR BETTER PROSPECTS! I can't believe it myself!

I love a new year, because it is a fresh start. A clean slate to begin with. Resolutions are a good thing! Let's be honest though people. This year is going to suck! IT IS GOING TO BITE! There are so many crazy people out there. And it is only going to get worse. Psychos that like to go on shooting sprees are becoming the norm, and it is quite disturbing. It makes me want to get armed for the first time in my life; my own gun to protect myself. This country is so violent! And the nutjobs that are not in institutions where they belong or people who are not taking their meds is at an all-time high. The economy is wrecked and going further into the toilet. Unemployment only gets higher. It's all a recipe for severe societal unrest and locos going berserk. And I don't think it's just confined to our country either. I feel it's a global issue. I don't know if Mother Earth is going to smack us with more natural disasters, but that's not what concerns me--it's the mental health of humanity as a whole that does. I'm crazy in my own way, but there are scary sociopaths out there ready to snap at any moment. A rise in crime and violence is a terrible frightening thing. Sadly, I believe this is what is coming to a decaying world and to us here in the U.S. This country has had it good for so long, but something is amiss. People are not normal and taking it out on others. I hope I am wrong, but my prediction is a rise in crime and crazies doing some awful horrible violent things.

Me personally though? I can only thrive. I feel it. I hope you do too.

What do you predict for this new year? Comments are obligatory!