Friday, January 21, 2011


I have to move soon. YES. I am a victim of the disastrous housing crisis. Sometimes I feel like an utter failure for trying to own a place and not being able to continue with the outrageous mortgage and other fees after four and a half years. Oh well. At least we tried right? Life just does not turn out the way one would like at times. JUST GREAT. I'm kind of sad and feel a bit worthless. Ya gotta earn big bucks to own a place in this country, and EVEN THEN! Property taxes are ridiculous, the paperwork involved is atrocious, and the way this bank has treated me is beyond horrendous. These guys are EVIL. Pure and simple. I did everything in my power to refinance and submitted all kinds of documents to get them to help me during these tough times, and THEY DID NOT BUDGE. So, I am wishing these massive criminal A-HOLES nothing but terrible things. DIE. DIE! JUST DIEEEEEEEEEE! So what happens now? Well, my older brother Charles has to move out of his place soon too, so shall mom and her two sons live all together nice and happily ever after? LOL! Or should I move out on my own, or perhaps with a roomie?! OH MY GOD. What to do, what to do? Decisions, decisions! I am just so relieved I don't have to deal with the stress of the last few years anymore. It will be a great weight lifted off of my shoulders. I'm not looking forward to having to pack things up and moving them, but it will all be over soon; I will find a good place to put that noose on the ceiling, place it around my neck, and effectively kick the chair from underneath my feet...ahahahahhahahhaha! Saddam Hussein, you lucky bastard!

Yeah so I was stoned okay? And I wanted to prove my insane talent. This is strictly off the top of my head, so no copy was read; ten minutes of true improv. My voice changes several times, and I start off with a cheesy radio talk show and how it would sound in LA hosted by a middle-aged conservative married dickwad, the station identification for Mozart's music (I sound eerily like George Takei), a breaking news story on TV (Bernard Shaw then turns into Anderson Cooper with an awesome English dude in the mix), the stoned DJ, Spanish public access Christian talk radio, and the old Nightline intro?! LOLOL!

It's bizarre! Hope you enjoy:

Friday, January 07, 2011


How was your New Year's?! I went to Palm Springs! Yeah, that was kind of out of character for me, since I rarely if ever take a road trip by myself, but I did not want to spend YET ANOTHER boring as f*ck New Year's Eve in Los Angeles. Ya see, after ringing in 2004 and 2005 in New Orleans, I've been forever spoiled; seems to me other places have a much better vibe and energy than my hometown to welcome a new year in. The drive to Palm Springs is about 90 minutes, which is very tolerable. My bud who lives out there was kind enough to let me stay at his place for two nights. Palm Springs was so very cold, but it was fun too! I went to this hotel to a huge happening party on December 31! I still can't get over how beautiful this place is! WOW! The party was really fun and quite deafening. This is the song that will most stick with me from that great crazy night. Lots of homos from LA were there. The music man! THE MUSIC WAS SO GOOD BUT SO GOD DAMN LOUD! UGH! I could feel my internal organs vibrating within my ribcage man! I got to this shindig around 10:30pm and left at about 3am. I'll never forget the night sky as I left the party--it was so crystal clear and gorgeous; I think I saw stars and planets I'd never noticed before. I got very sentimental in Palm Springs at times; I had to let go of all the pain and suffering of 2010 and so far my new year has started off pretty nicely.

So h
ere's the deal. My late mean narcissistic father was nice to me sometimes and did once tell me long ago that I have a nice radio voice. Ever since I started doing most of the announcements and paging of people at work recently, I get compliments left and right by most of the staff there that I am one crystal clear sexy-sounding dude! This is most flattering folks! I did try my hand at some light voiceover work a while ago, but I've never really pursued it. I mean, I am in the right town for this right? I don't even know where to begin though. UGH. I often feel I have all these amazing talents and they're just wasting away. GOD. But I do need to have a real job and income folks, because even though I'm a mostly artistic individual, I can't afford to f*cking starve, so I need to begrudgingly work at a day job. And this town is so very competitive; who doesn't do voiceover work here?! The really good and lucky ones like the cast of The Simpsons make millions. Must be nice. Anyway, I guess I'll continue to enjoy my celebrity-like status at work and endless compliments from men and women alike. Actually, I believe it's mostly women who love my voice. I must be making many of them feel very erotic or something. HAHA!

Speaking of great voices -- a marvelous actor with depression issues? We're all human after all: