Tuesday, February 28, 2006



As if my sensitive teeth didn’t make me suffer enough back in December! One of my fillings fell out in January, got redone, and just happened to fall out yet again this past weekend! UGH! NOT AGAIN I THOUGHT! NOT FREAKIN’ AGAIN!

In order to avoid strangling my regular dentist, I decided to do some research and go to a brand new dentist that was competent and covered by my insurance. Oh I found him all right, and today’s three and a half hours in that office was about as enjoyable as open heart surgery, and not just the physical experience, but I had a lot more to pay out of my own pocket than usual. Thanks insurance for almost nothing!

My God this doc is good. Phenomenally good, and oh so thorough and a perfectionist. My mouth has not been that agape and hideously opened, prodded, and abused in my entire life! I had X-rays taken, pictures, air blown, a small camera inserted, my gum topically numbed, two injections of Novocain sickeningly jabbed into my piehole, my tooth redrilled, my gum pulled down, my tooth then rebuffed, cleaned, scraped, cured, refilled, then polished! He took quite a few breaks in between to tend to his other patients and let my jaw rest I’m sure during all of this. JAYSUS CHRIST.

He identified a number of other problems I supposedly have to take care of, but I don’t even wanna hear it or think about it, my main goal was to get this filling redone right. He made my teeth sound like a disaster, and I was wondering if it wasn’t his excited joy of bilking my insurance co.

I’m so sore, and oh how my jaw is throbbing. I have to put this all into perspective, it could be worse, it could be so much worse…

Time for Advil.

Sunday, February 26, 2006


I really really like my new laptop and the dude in this pic! WOOHOO! Check it out: WAT’s new laptop. I kept joking with my friend William at work that it’s more of a chesttop to me since I can now use it to view online hardcore porn whilst in my room and on my bed lying down. Yes, we’re crude bastards I know.

And oh yeah, please, and I mean PULEAZE make some time to watch this fully informative and must see PBS online program from Frontline that was just posted about two days ago. It’s about the current God awful violence in Iraq. Very very riveting if you ask me and a must-see to understand the true nature of this awful beast.

And kudos to Frontline for making their programs always very simple and enjoyable to watch. Divided into four parts, each segment is about twelve minutes long, and very very educational:


Friday, February 24, 2006


I’d like to understand just what is wrong with these people: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Yeah. The most convincing madly in love couple in Hollywood!

Looks like Katie is now a Scientologist and is very heavily involved in that whole crazy cult thing thanks to her loving amazing stud boyfriend. And of course, she’s pregnant with Tom’s child which they no doubt conceived through normal hardcore sexual intercourse. Nope, Tom is not gay at all, and this relationship proves it! He was even on Oprah jumping up and down the couch showing off how overwhelmingly in love he is with good ole’ Katie!

Frankly, I’ve never been a fan of either of these two dolts. Tom’s movies are pretty forgettable, and I remember Katie back from Dawson’s Crack with her God awful character, cheap storylines, and annoying acting. Frankly, she was the only one on that cheesy program I wanted to punch in the face most of the time.

But let’s not be hateful now. I wish these two the very best, despite the break-up rumors, Tom being gay lies, and every other little thing us envious evil celebrity gossipers are saying. And joy of joys, an artificially inseminated baby is on the way too!

I mean, er, um...

I really hope Tom Cruise doesn’t sue my poor broke skinny ass.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

صدام حسين عبد المجيد التكريتي

Dare I say it man? DARE I SAY IT???!!!

I’m now starting to believe that Saddam Hussein should’ve been left in power in Iraq. What is it with these ridiculous shocking horrible daily headlines coming out of that country which seems to be spiraling out of control ever since the American invasion back in 2003?

From the Associated Press today:

Shrine Bombing Brings Deadly Reprisals
AP –
SAMARRA, Iraq - Insurgents detonated bombs inside one of Iraq's holiest Shiite shrines Wednesday, destroying its golden dome and triggering more than 90 reprisal attacks on Sunni mosques. The president warned that extremists were pushing the country toward civil war, as many Shiites lashed out at the United States as partly to blame. As the gold dome of the 1,200-year-old Askariya shrine lay in ruins, leaders on both sides called for calm: But the string of back-and-forth attacks seemed to push the country closer to all-out civil war than at any point in the three years since the U.S.-led overthrow of Saddam Hussein

Yeah, that great big giant bastard Saddam might be insane and ran that country like a Hitlerian psychopath, but it seems like he kept all these warring Moslem groups in check. They knew the consequences of stepping over the line, and the country was not in the grave disarray that it now finds itself in. Do these people even want freedom? Democracy? It sure doesn’t look like it.

I love America. I love this country. We make serious mistakes though. And this just may be the biggest since Vietnam. Our precious hot soldier stud boys dying, different Islamic tribes at each other’s throats, journalists/peacekeepers getting kidnapped and murdered, and it goes on and on, despite the new Iraqi president and constitution, which seem to be worth zilch.

Get that hilarious entertaining madman loon Saddam out of that courtroom and put him back in his palace in Baghdad.

‘Cause this shit just keeps getting uglier.

Monday, February 20, 2006


I finally sat down Saturday night, and watched this so-called "masterpiece", Crash.
The film has an impressive cast, with excellent performances by all, and a gorgeous very haunting musical score. Who did the score by the way? Whoever it was, it was excellent. There were compelling tense and riveting scenes in the film, and I found myself being very involved in many of them.

That being said however, Crash is a deeply flawed picture, a movie trying to preach the ugliness of prejudices and racism, by focusing on several main characters over the course of one day in the city of Los Angeles, with stupid dialogue and way too many exaggerated moments. Yeah, this is my hometown mind you, a city I know well enough to know that many of the storylines in Crash are ridiculous and contrived. How these characters keep running into each other and how they all connect is really quite preposterous, and kind of insulting to this city. I mean really!

Ludacris, is mouthing off to his buddy about the injustices of being black, yet then has the nerve to go and carjack someone? PULEAZE! And he hits a Chinese immigrant smuggler? Absolutely ludicrous, if you pardon the pun. Sandra Bullock’s character screaming at the top of her lungs about her Latino locksmith being a thug and gang member, with the guy within clear earshot able to hear her go off like this? I think not man! I know of no one in L.A. who is brave enough to mouth off their prejudices this way! Matt Dillon runs into the very same black woman he fondled the night before during a search only to save her life in her overturned SUV the next day? U KIDDING ME??!! The Persian vandalized store owner plotting revenge on his Latino locksmith, that ends with a most laughable supposed shooting of a little girl and a very cheesy slow motion sequence complete with over the top acting? HOW REHEARSED! HOW CONTRIVED! HOW TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE AND UNNECESSARY! All this within the span of 36 f**kin’ hours?! Uh huh. Yeah, right. L.A. is not that exciting lemme tell you.

Crash asks us to suspend disbelief way too many times, and I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. It is a film that had potential, that needed to really focus on one or two crucial storylines, instead of trying to bring in this messy hodgepodge all at once. It is a movie that tries to say something, but in the end does not say a thing. It only makes racism and prejudices worse, by continuing to glorify and encourage this insidious type of behavior in its characters. How it could be nominated for so many Academy Awards is beyond my comprehension.

You want better superior films based in Los Angeles that are truly believable and gritty? Try Internal Affairs, Heat, or Training Day.

I hope writer/director Paul Haggis can perfect his craft in his next film and learn from the crucial mistakes made in his latest hyperbolic disaster of a film.

And the Oscar goes to...Brokeback Mountain.

If there’s any justice.

Saturday, February 18, 2006


An obscure and highly underrated Beatles' song off their now famous 1968 masterpiece,The White Album.

Written and sung by George Harrison, with all the other Beatles performing, except John Lennon! How about that?

A very quiet, but gorgeous song. It helps to turn up the volume a bit:

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Friday, February 17, 2006


Some of my favorite hot athletic dudes from the Winter Olympics so far:

At the very top: Snowboarder Seth Wescott

Bottom Left: Speedskater Joey Cheek

Middle: Speedskater Chad Hedrick

Far Right: Alpine Skier Bode Miller


Tuesday, February 14, 2006


So, it’s Valentine’s Day, and I find that many gay men out there are blogging about how miserably lonely they are being single or how ignored they feel by the dudes they’re dating or truly in love with.

Ah yes...reminds me of a certain Oscar-nominated masterpiece, Brokeback Mountain. Shhh...don’t tell anyone, but I ran into an Academy voter’s DVD copy of the film and I got to see it again outside of my original trip to the theater back in December. Wow, upon a second viewing I truly realize what a great freakin’ film this truly is. The dynamic chemistry between Ennis Del Mar (Heath Ledger) and Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal) is enormously convincing and moving. I mean, really man!

I know there’s people out there who will not budge. Who will stand firm and refuse to go see this film. Extremely closed-minded straight men will stand firm against it till the day they die. Howard Stern himself, gave the film a rave review just last week, after being quite uncomfortable with the idea of having to sit through it. But he caved in, and said it was a great film that only reiterated the ridiculousness of the Right in trying to keep gays and lesbians from leading fulfilling romantic lives.

I got that other Oscar-nominated powerhouse film Crash from Netflix in my mail today. Let’s see how it holds up to the already impressive, successful, critically-acclaimed cultural juggernaut that is Brokeback Mountain.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

"Tell you what... truth is, sometimes I miss you so bad I can hardly stand it..." - Jack Twist.

Monday, February 13, 2006


Ah yes, a post that actually reflects the name of this blog!

Do you ever wonder what the purpose of life is? What are we truly here for? At most, we’re given about eighty years (give or take) to accomplish certain tasks, and then we pass on to eternal rest, another dimension, reincarnation, or heaven/hell. Do you ever become aware of your magnificent miraculous existence, only to have it shattered by the realization of your certain aging and death?

Whatever your beliefs are, here we are, in this, the supposed third dimension. Breathing, walking, talking, doing our jobs, going to school, enjoying leisure time--that is, if you’re in the developed world. Others struggle tremendously to make ends meet, just to put food on the table or to have adequate clothing and shelter. So many alive today are poorer than we can possibly imagine.

Some of us come here to fulfill every possible dream, to become an entertainer, to serve others, to make a name for ourselves, or just to cruise on by with as little name recognition as possible. There are those whose actual purpose is to destroy, hurt, and cause mayhem. Certain people come to only suffer it seems, to be true martyrs, to inspire revolutions, changes, and to alter the course of history.

Albert Camus, the great French Nobel-prize winning author believed that life has its happy moments, but that they were merely temporary and that life is in the end meaningless due to our eventual deaths. Another French Nobel Prize winner, Jean- Paul Sartre claimed that humans were constantly trying to define their true roles in this most absurd world. Spanish philosopher José Ortega Y Gasset wrote extensive essays on the meaning of life too, contributing greatly to the theory of existentialism.

Is there a God after all? Or have we created this idea to appease our ultimate fear that we are alone in the end? It is hard at times to believe that all this incredible biodiversity came out of nowhere with no one to create it, that it merely just appeared, all in perfect order through the magic of evolution.

No one it seems, has ever been able to fully explain what the point of our existence really is. Perhaps there is no point, and we desperately try to waste away some time before we die, summed up best by the all-American catch phrase:

"Life’s a bitch, and then you die."

Saturday, February 11, 2006


Yes, this is me. After just having woken up today, or any other day for that matter.

This is what I look like. T'is the reason why I can't spend the night over with you boys. I would horrify just about anyone.

Thank you.

P.S. Feliz cumpleaños mamá. Dios te guarde y cuide siempre. Te quiero mucho. Happy B-Day mom. God keep and care for you always. I love you very much.

Friday, February 10, 2006


I got jo brand spankin' new Madonna video right here ---> Sorry

When tha hell did Madonna become a freakin' circus act Olympic gymnast middle-aged contortionist human pretzel? It's astounding what this woman is now able to do with her body! She really emphasizes a healthy lifestyle by following an excellent diet and exercise. Guy Ritchie must love her in the sack man for all those creative positions she can mangle herself into.

Yes, it is amazing what at 47 years of age, this icon is able to do. Can't wait ta see what she's up to at 60. WOW.

Thursday, February 09, 2006


A little bit of a cultural rant on my part for tonight, which shouldn't matter in this supposedly educated and racially open-minded country of ours:

I have this argument with friends of mine all the time. The term Hispanic/Latino does not designate a race. It’s an ethnicity. Hispanic people come in all races. YES. We do. I tell them, "I am Hispanic, but my race is white." They always seem to look at me in disbelief, even though I am as pale as ghost for God’s sake. We happen to come in all kinds of colors and from different backgrounds, which is something I often find people are not aware of.

The traditional view is that a Hispanic/Latino is brown, and that we can be spotted a mile away when we look like J Lo or George López. While it’s true that a lot of Latinos do look this way, there are many of us who don’t fit the mold. Many of us have strong European, black, Jewish, Arab and even Asian roots! Like the United States, the countries south of our border have seen immigrants settle in from all over the world. The Native American Aztecs, Mayans, and Incas were joined by those raping and pillaging Spaniards (who themselves had strong Arab and Jewish blood), who in turn brought over African slaves, intermixed, and then other immigrant groups came after.

All those baseball players you see playing in the big leagues have strong native Caribbean and African genes, which is why many of them are so dark. An actress like Cameron Diaz is very white due to her Cuban/Spanish roots. Shakira and Salma Hayek have strong Arab genes, but are Hispanic ethnically because they were born in Spanish-speaking countries. Geraldo Rivera comes from a Puerto Rican father and a Jewish mother of all things! The president of Peru at one time was of Japanese descent. It was kinda funny to watch this very Asian-looking man (another crooked politician of course) speaking perfect Spanish. The typical Spanish last names like González, López, and Hernández are dead giveaways, but you’d be surprised how many Latinos actually have last names that don’t fit that mold, whether by birth, or as they used to do in Hollywood so often, which was to change their last names to sound more Caucasian.

So basically, I’m a mutt like most of us in existence today. An ethnically Hispanic white boy of Spanish, Mayan, and German descent born in the USA. The next time ya think you know what a Hispanic looks like, think again. I’m often confused as being just another white dude who couldn’t possibly know a word of español.

You’d be surprised.


Wednesday, February 08, 2006


---From L to R: Jay-Z, Sir Paul McCartney, and Linkin Park lead singer Chester Bennington

The Grammy Awards tonight are still airing here on the West Coast. So far...

I liked the Madonna/Gorillaz opening number. She looked fantastic, but sounded kinda off. At least she’s never driven with a baby in her lap, which is why she still is the QUEEN OF POP MUSIC MISS THANG. Okay low blow on my part. Let’s face it though, Madonna could take a nap on stage and people would still get excited. She has what it takes to entertain still.

Kelly Clarkson of American Idol fame, was nicely rewarded for her work and sung beautifully during her performance of Because of You. She was crying uncontrollably when she won her first Grammy, but gave a nice acceptance speech for her second award.

I liked John Legend and his song, Jennifer Love Hewitt looked like a cheap tramp, Kanye West is annoying, and Mariah freakin’ Scarey is looking a bit chunky. And the size of her TATAS were purty impressive! DAYAM GIRL! DEM R SOME BIG JUGS! But the girl has always and can still undeniably sing.

U2 did a really cool version of their song One with a very interesting cover by Mary J. Blige who really infused the song with a lot of soul and heart. I was pleasantly surprised. It was cool. And U2 won big tonight too. Their latest album was rewarded with five awards, including album and song of the year.

But of course, OF COURSE, the true highlight of the night for me, the one that had me giddy with uncontrollable excitement, was former Beatle, ex-Wingsman, brilliant songwriter, and all-around living legend: Sir Paul McCartney.

Ah yes, it was back in November of last year at the very Staples Center (where the Grammys were held tonight) that I saw MACCA, and he was in top form at tonight's awards show during his performance of one of his newer songs and his classic Beatles song: Helter Skelter. Sweet Jesus Amen. The man had the Grammy audience on its feet when he was done.

Rapper Jay-Z (wearing that awesome John Lennon/NYC shirt) and Linkin Park did their Encore/Numb collaboration song, and then went into a hip version of Yesterday which Paul McCartney then joined in on! HOLY MOSES!

Music to my ears...

Monday, February 06, 2006


As if the Muslim world wasn’t pissed of at the West already! Whose bright idea was it to print these freakin’ cartoons??!!




Now, the Jews are gonna get spoofed or picked on, with a set of mocking the Holocaust cartoons from the Muslims:


UGH! Religions are so petty aren’t they?

Sunday, February 05, 2006


Well, the Super Bowl starts soon, and the only real interesting thing going for it would be the opening national anthem, the commercials, and the halftime show. For me, most of the freakin’ spectacle is quite a bore!

I usually don’t post to this blog on Sundays, but I feel the need to make an exception. I have been on a long hard struggle the past few years with my anxiety and ridding myself of this drug I’ve been on. I can’t lie, the drug has been wonderful and has helped me tremendously overcome lots of hurdles and negativity.

But in the end, my true goal is to be able to quit this thing one day for good. Today marks day three of not taking one single pill, and although I can pretty much manage to do this quite well when I don’t have to go to work, it’s when I am on the job that is the true test. Little things, like being the passenger in a car for an extended period of time, getting on a plane, or being amongst a large group of rowdy people can be a real challenge to my nerves.

It’s stupid really. Those of you free of panic attacks and useless negative thinking consider yourselves truly lucky and fortunate. Of course, you probably have a different set of problems that make up for mine huh? Life is cruel that way ain’t it?

I shall take comfort in that there is a God. Yes, I do believe so. I can do this. I can live a prescribed drug-free existence. I’ll do my best B.G. I really will. And if I fail this time again, it’s okay.

FDR said it best, “There is nothing to fear but fear itself.”


Friday, February 03, 2006


It’s Iran, and Israel, and Iraq, and when am I gonna go back to college, and when am I gonna get laid once again, and should I clear out all those boxes in the back of the office loaded with cases, and it’s time to get my car brakes checked, and I haven’t been to the gym all week lazy ole’ me, and my car does need to get washed, and the boy that works here is increasingly cute to me, and will I ever move out of my house and get a place of my own, and I wish I didn’t have to take that psychotropic med for anxiety anymore, and how sad that ferry sunk with 1,400 aboard, and I keep thinking about getting older and death even though I’m still young and what’s to look forward to in this world that only keeps getting more uncertain and tragic everyday it seems, and is my checkbook balanced, and why am I not in a truly successful intense relationship, and why am I not making at least $60,000 at this stage in my life being as talented as everyone else says I am, and there’s much more plaguing my fragile complex brain, but who gives a f**k anymore.

WHEW! It’s Friday.

And I need a drink.