Monday, May 30, 2005

A Memorable Memorial Day Weekend Alright!

Well, I partied quite a bit this weekend. Had all kinds of wild fun. My friend David finally lost his mind, and disappoints me tremendously for not being able to handle his dramatic immature temper.

And this very heartbreaking story:

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Tastes yucky, feels great!

I don't know why my sudden increased use of alcohol to make me feel better about my life, but it's working.

And no, I'm not a raging alcoholic, but I can now understand why people use and abuse it so...


Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I have turned to the Dark Side, but in a good way I believe...

No, I will not become a cold emotionless asshole. That's not what I mean.

What I mean is, the time hath arrived for me to cease trying to climb unreachable summits and concentrate on the hills and bluffs that I already know.

I deserve to be adulated, instead of being the adulator.

So be it.

Lord Tobar...RISE!

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

I quit!

I wish to no longer play this or any games. Therefore, I am going to shed much emotion from my being.

I have no choice, if I want to survive...

Monday, May 23, 2005


I'm really starting to feel like the main character in the movie, Office Space, BORED TO TEARS with my current job! I need to find a way to make a living that I enjoy, not yawn my way through this whole fiasco...UGH!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

"Twisted by the Dark Side was he!"

O.k. Went to early this morning's packed showing of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, and I gotta say that although it was full of some mega cheesy moments, it was the by far the very best of the prequels.

Never to match the original last episodes however. NEVER.

And oh yeah, my iPod is working again. I am now happy once more.

Wednesday, May 18, 2005


My messed-up iPod, this boring as hell job of mine, and other issues I'm going through are enough to make me feel like Anakin Skywalker and want to turn to the dark side.

If the new Star Wars film tonight/early tomorrow morning is just as bad as the last two, then my transformation will be complete.

Um, so what happened again?!

All my beautiful hard work, all my 1000 plus songs so far on my new iPod were mysteriously deleted by an apparently defective device!

I'm off to replace this puppy and get some answers today!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Bring On The Musical Revolution!


Thursday, May 12, 2005

The Challenge I Bear

I wish to describe to you these feelings which I feel
I do not know how it came to be or why the need
But there they are, truth be told, like the sunrise
Even when the clouds conceal its shining splendor

I know it can never be, but alas I always hold out the hope
That I can perhaps one day climb that high mountain
Or achieve that beloved goal of showing you
The value of your presence in my meandering journey

I wonder often if this too shall pass like the wind
Or if this is really what so many write and dream of
This simple thorn which doesn't sting, but is constantly there
Like your wide catchy smile and incredible brightness

It is with great regret that my heart can no longer refute
The limerence in which it now finds itself in
Alas, the deed and duty itself is done and irreparably fulfilled
The seal forever branded in its core and my being throughout

Break the seal, and change yours and my life forever...

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The dichotomy of human versus animal nature.

These kinds of stories bring me close to tears!

The evil of humans towards their own children:

And the greatness and love of dogs for a species like ours:

It boggles the mind really.

A most impressive film!

I saw Kingdom of Heaven Friday night into Saturday morning with my co-worker/bud William. What an impressively good historical account of the Crusades!

Bravo to the cast and crew, although for some I hear, Orlando Bloom's portrayal is not heroic enough. Oh well, the young Englishman is a star and women love him, so it is only fitting he'd get such a role over better actors out there. It's a given!

Friday, May 06, 2005


I was surfing through other people's blogs last night, amazed at the creativity and insanity of so many out there. Everyone wants to be a star, popular, and loved no matter how truly annoying and senseless they are! This is starting to make me ponder even more, WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER WITH THIS???!!! This blog shit is pretty fuckin' stupid, but I cannot stop now that I've started. It's like washing one's clothes or the car, you just gotta do it.

What is gonna happen to my blog when I die? Who owns the rights? Does it stay online forever? Will all of the ridiculous nonsense-filled vain narcissistic blog community just be deleted after 100 years as the future becomes aware that we can't possibly be alive anymore?

Or maybe that won't even be an issue. At the rate the world is going, we may not have much longer:

Thursday, May 05, 2005

BLAH! It's cinco de freakin' mayo, where's the party?!

I’m bored. And it’s cinco de mayo too. I guess I could go out to a bar, but most of my friends are probably just gonna wanna stay home like me. It’s slightly raining outside too.

David now claims to be full-blown depressed and has decided to isolate himself from us while Sonny figures out how to proceed in his serious relationship with him after catching David cheating. Hanging out with Johnny and Sonny last night was great, but not the same. I feel as though the Beatles have broken up here with all the drama that has occurred. I just hope it all works out in the end, because our little silly quartet is something I really do enjoy.

Driving to and from Johnny’s new pad in Winnetka last night had me concerned since I had to take the 101 Ventura Fwy and all throughout my trip going and coming back, I kept thinking about the recent shootings on L.A. freeways! GEEZ MAN! As if I and everyone else in the city didn’t already have enough to worry about! The media doesn’t help either, probably adding to the fear of the populace.

I cannot wait for this work week to end. It feels like an endless burden. Except when I get to see and talk to my co-worker/buddy William. He’s endlessly fascinating and too adorable to describe. Mediocre to most women, the poor guy is actually quite intelligent and cute. At least to me and to many gay men as well, who are just itching to get him out of the closet, at least bisexually! HAHA!

If only those bitches he dates knew the real William...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

All I can do is observe.

I’m having a disappointing week. Everyone around me is imploding emotionally. Mikey, my soulmate, is complaining of migraines and deteriorating health, my good friends Sonny and David (who were supposedly dating) are in serious trouble after David was caught with his hands in the cookie jar, Johnny is having problems with his family and living situation, my longtime friend Steven was dumped by his lover George, and my co-worker/buddy William cannot seem to let go of a harmful relationship with a bitch and meanwhile I get to witness and hear it all, a helpless spectator who wants nothing but everyone to be healthy and happy. Instead, it all makes me sad and disappointed.

As for myself, I could complain, but why bother? Unlike many people, I acknowledge that we humans are where we are in life most of the time due to our own choices. Here I sit at work, wondering where this twisted journey called life is taking me. Nowhere really, if I continue living the way I am.

I love my new computer, and that at least keeps me happy somewhat. Right now, my life lacks drama, but I always wonder for how long?

Hopefully forever…as life is really short and comes to such a dreadful end anyway.


Monday, May 02, 2005


It scares me folks. It really does. The United States of America is losing its position as the world's dominant economy to the Chinese. IS ANYONE PAYING ATTENTION TO THIS??!!! JUST LOOK AT WHERE MOST OF YOUR STUFF IS NOW MADE!!!