Friday, November 05, 2010


We should not hold on to resentment, because ultimately it poisons the person who clings to it, not the person it is intended for or directed at. Yes, how correct and true, but there are times it is also part of the healing process, and we must feel this inner rage and anger at having been wronged in order to come to terms with the damage done. It is normal/natural to really despise the person that treated you so poorly, and in my case this past spring and summer, I have more than enough reasons to truly loathe the creature I erroneously thought I loved. He manipulated the entire situation for his own selfish reasons, belittled me in the most subtle dark and evil ways, and then finally drops me for someone younger and better-looking whom he eventually proceeds to abuse as well. And then he wants me back as if nothing happened, as if he did not act in the most despicable manner?! This is how horrid and truly evil this individual is. There is no remorse, no empathy, no accountability for the psychological and emotional hurt caused to me or the many others he must go through like a pair of shoes. I will eliminate my rancor towards the savage, but it will take more time and little by little I have gotten stronger on a daily basis, but I won't lie or deny I am fully healed or over the pain yet. There are moments I do break down and wish him cancer or a serious car wreck, but I will slowly let this all go and let karma or God himself work their magic and teach this monstrosity a lesson. Or two. Or three.

Work has been pretty laidback as of late, and thank God for that right? I feel much less stressed here, and am very grateful for this. I have other issues that are weighing me down a bit, but onward I must go. This has been a very challenging tough year for me. WHEW! I cannot believe I am still standing and forging ahead. And so many have told me I have never looked better, more refreshed, or handsome than I do now. Ironic isn't it?! The invisible man in the sky that I try to have faith and believe in must be showing his mercy towards me at this very interesting part of my life. The world as a whole is going to hell kids. The natural disasters are going to get worse, poor Haiti just can't get a break, the economy is on course to collapse, and Lord only knows where we are headed as a species/civilization. I'm all for this f*cking mess to crash, explode, and burn for I feel this planet needs a good purging. Even if I have to die so be it. Bring forth that massive LA quake already! YEAH!

In the meantime, I'm going to simply concentrate on the present, on the very moment I am living. F*ck the future. There is none. There never was.

Like Ancient Rome, here's what our modern day lawmakers really think:


Conclave27 said...

What nothing On Michelle "Antonette" Obama and her "Let them Eat Cake" shit? My bad... healthy food.

Well I am glad that you are making strides. That is all I will say.

D1RTY said...

Let the bodycount begin. I got my guns and ammo collection started. Knives too just cause I want to enjoy the blood as I carve out hearts.

RG said...

Well, someone is in a "mood". ;)