Friday, January 21, 2011


I have to move soon. YES. I am a victim of the disastrous housing crisis. Sometimes I feel like an utter failure for trying to own a place and not being able to continue with the outrageous mortgage and other fees after four and a half years. Oh well. At least we tried right? Life just does not turn out the way one would like at times. JUST GREAT. I'm kind of sad and feel a bit worthless. Ya gotta earn big bucks to own a place in this country, and EVEN THEN! Property taxes are ridiculous, the paperwork involved is atrocious, and the way this bank has treated me is beyond horrendous. These guys are EVIL. Pure and simple. I did everything in my power to refinance and submitted all kinds of documents to get them to help me during these tough times, and THEY DID NOT BUDGE. So, I am wishing these massive criminal A-HOLES nothing but terrible things. DIE. DIE! JUST DIEEEEEEEEEE! So what happens now? Well, my older brother Charles has to move out of his place soon too, so shall mom and her two sons live all together nice and happily ever after? LOL! Or should I move out on my own, or perhaps with a roomie?! OH MY GOD. What to do, what to do? Decisions, decisions! I am just so relieved I don't have to deal with the stress of the last few years anymore. It will be a great weight lifted off of my shoulders. I'm not looking forward to having to pack things up and moving them, but it will all be over soon; I will find a good place to put that noose on the ceiling, place it around my neck, and effectively kick the chair from underneath my feet...ahahahahhahahhaha! Saddam Hussein, you lucky bastard!

Yeah so I was stoned okay? And I wanted to prove my insane talent. This is strictly off the top of my head, so no copy was read; ten minutes of true improv. My voice changes several times, and I start off with a cheesy radio talk show and how it would sound in LA hosted by a middle-aged conservative married dickwad, the station identification for Mozart's music (I sound eerily like George Takei), a breaking news story on TV (Bernard Shaw then turns into Anderson Cooper with an awesome English dude in the mix), the stoned DJ, Spanish public access Christian talk radio, and the old Nightline intro?! LOLOL!

It's bizarre! Hope you enjoy:


Conclave27 said...

LOL.... hmm as for your voice over... didn't you have some I.T. help from your crew... cough. These DIVAS.... always forgetting the thousands of people who help them to look fabulous.....

RG said...

I'm so sad to read about you losing your home!

You really do have a sexy voice, but your video skills suck big-time. LOL

D1RTY said...

Fuck it kid shit happens I lost my house too life moves on. Nothing to be ashamed about or feel bad about for that matter as long as we got our health and somewhat sanity. Shit you two fuckers back with moms when I come out there it would be like old times getting your ass kicked and tortured. I miss the good ole days before arrests and jail. That's all I got turd burglar peace.

mkf said...

couple things:

(1) make those bastards drag you outta that condo kicking and screaming--squeeze every last payment-free day out of it that you can.

(2) you have a very good, versatile voice--polish it up with some podcasting, whydontcha.

(3) i hate following your goddam brother, since anything i have to say seems so colorless and boring by comparison.