I finally own a smartphone! This one to be exact. Aren't you proud of me? I think I've almost mastered how to use it in just one week's time. That's riveting WAT. So very f*cking riveting...
My car needs the front brakes repaired, new front tires, and the dents and crap fixed from that accident I had about a year ago. I need to clear all this junk post office mail from my room and just looking at it is driving me crazy. The search for a new place to live continues and the time to start cleaning out and throwing out unnecessary clutter is now. I'll tell ya the truth folks, I just don't want to get out of bed sometimes. I find my life overwhelming in many ways right now. Yes, I am overly sensitive okay?! HOW DO I STOP THAT BY THE WAY?! I easily break down or cry now like some wuss; ever since I got my heart crushed last year by that dude. UGH. I'm lucky in getting laid, but at true relationship-based love?! What a disaster! Yeah, life's really great right?! There's this dating website I recently joined and it astonishes me to sometimes read profiles where guys say they are loving life and they can't wait to welcome a new day! WOOHOO! REALLY?! LOLOLOL! That kind of amazing joy exists?! AHAHHAHAHA! Don't get me wrong I have plenty of happy moments, but Good Lord this existence annoys and frustrates me quite often. The grass always looks greener on the other side--yeah, that is so my issue. I often feel everyone else is living life to the fullest and I'm kind of just here cruising along. Actually, when I come to think of it, it's nice not to have children. I can't imagine having to support and tolerate one of those things, let alone have to bring them into this amazingly sick twisted world. I hope to return to my once carefree selfish way of living soon and forget this idea of wanting to be in love. I failed someone long ago who was very much into me and now I got punched in the face and gut and thrown into the middle of running traffic as karma perhaps? JUST GREAT. Life is good. HA.
My cousin has flown in from Oklahoma to stay with us the next few months and enrolled just yesterday into a medical assistant program at a school near downtown. Good for her I say! Jobs in the medical field are thriving, despite the still huge unemployment numbers. She said the weather out there right now is a nightmare; cold and snow everywhere. Harsh winter this season all over the country right? You'd never know it here in L.A. though. The weather has been nauseatingly beautiful. Every day there is sun and blue skies. Every day. EVERY. F*CKING. DAY. I want some clouds and rain damn it! I LOVE THE RAIN! I'm obviously living in the wrong city right? Time for Seattle or Portland baby! With my cousin in town, it will be a lot easier to move and her help will be desperately needed and appreciated. I like my cousin very much too. We get along very well and she seems to get me without judging me. We both have the same music tastes too which is very cool. She just might be my current favorite HAG. I realize I don't really have that many friends that are girls and my two favorites always keep in touch with me through the Internet. Jesus, what kind of homo am I that I don't have women friends?! I seem to gravitate towards men (gay or hetero) period! WOW. I never thought of this, but it's so true.
Damn I'm so straight and can't wait for the Super Bowl this weekend.