Friday, January 13, 2012

TIM TEBOW LOVES JESUS.

How's yer 2012 so far? Mine has been cruising along...

I am about 6ft. 2 inches tall and have now reached a nice healthy weight of abou
t 175lbs! This is most exciting to me because I've been so painfully thin most of my life, and in 2010 when I was going through terrible heartbreak, I went down to about 150lbs. It was quite horrible lemme tells ya; I looked HOLOCAUSTIC and very ill. Just this past week, two different people remarked that I'm sporting quite a beautiful bod these days. IS THIS NOT WONDERFUL TO HEAR?! OF COURSE IT IS! WHY LIE?! To hear genuine compliments is very uplifting. This world is full of so many mean nasty horrible jealous people; when one runs into honest praise, it can really make a difference in one's self-esteem. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family, and compliments were not passed around very often; then came the mean kids in school of course! One thing I was often told when I was a kid was that I was intelligent and my dad reassured me when I was a teen that it did not matter that I was skinny, he said I would get far because I have a big d*ck. LMAO! Well, the old man was right I suppose, but I want to be the complete package now into my adulthood! Here in my late thir...TWENTIES (excuse me), I think I've reached the best looks of my life yet. All I need now is some laser resurfacing to remove some acne scars on my face. Maybe a good airbrush tan would help? I know I know, I'm trying to be all HOLLYWOOD now, but why not? Why not take pride in one's looks? I'd like to whiten my choppers a bit more as well, but that is definitely going to be painful because I have very sensitive teeth. Maybe the fake tan will take care of it and make my teeth seem super white for good. LOL! So I've now achieved a very nice lean, but toned look, thanks in part to my daily routine of push-ups in the morning. Push-ups are a godsend and I do them much more effortlessly than even a year ago! They really do give ya a nice athletic look. Someone else just a few months ago remarked I had achieved a nice V-shape look to my torso. AHAHAHAHHAAHAA. It's taken a long time to reach this gay milestone my friends. Eat your heart out Adam Levine!

I'm going to talk abo
ut poppers. If you're a homo, I'm only stating the obvious. These little bottles of what they call "video head cleaner" or "liquid incense" are very powerful inhaled chemicals that bring a rush of euphoria and sexual desire to the user. It used to be amyl nitrate I believe, which was used for those suffering from angina, but then the gays somehow discovered them and they became all the rage in the 70s when disco was QUEEN and free sex was enjoyed in all its glory. Then AIDS came around and there were theories that poppers were the direct cause of AIDS, but it wasn't true, it was just that they made ya hornier and more prone to having unsafe condomless sex. Anyway, poppers are fun and they relax your butthole and turn you into a raging ravenous SEXUAL BEAST. I had never tried them, nor was I interested for many many years. But then I was stoned out of my mind once and inhaled a bit and the rest is history. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! The combination of 420 and poppers has got to be the most exhilarating sexual experience in the history of humanity. By themselves, I get a headache and dizzy, but on weed they are marvelously erotic. They can't be good for you though. They must do some sort of long-term damage which I am not fully aware of yet, nor can anyone prove it through many articles I have read. UGH! Whatever man. Something will kill ya one of these days! MIGHT AS WELL ENJOY THIS SHORT BIZARRE RIDE RIGHT?! Mind you, many gay men DO NOT like poppers because they complain of the headaches and other side effects, so it is not for everybody. You still gotta have the right chemistry with your sexual partner, or it will inevitably be lame sex anyway, despite the brief moment of DESIRE you feel. Nothing replaces true sexual or relationship chemistry, no matter what drug you use! It's the closest thing to meth sex, without the horrors of becoming a speed addict. I'd love to hear your thoughts on POPPERS! REALLY!

I LOVE THIS JEW! I REALLY DO! ONE OF THE FUNNIEST MEN ALIVE:


2 comments:

D1RTY said...

Big Mother Fucking Dick, another Tobar curse or blessing ?? You're catching up to me in weight there foo I'm right at 250 lbs.

Gary said...

You make a good argument for push-ups. They are effective and you can do them anywhere. I'll get right on it!