Somewhere Over The Rainbow...

Well, I guess all storms eventually clear up and the sun does shine once again. All my current drama seems to be subsiding. Thank God for small favors...

God, why have you abandoned me this week?

My whole life feels like it's falling apart. My personal problems are overwhelming me, I am in tears, true painful tears as I write this. I am being dumped for good, my friends are all depressed and some hate each other now, and I've been physically sick all week.

God, please don't abandon me. I need you at this moment of so much pain...

:(

Let The Pride Begin!

Well, it's Gay Pride weekend in Los Angeles. I am looking forward to tonight's huge party at the Paramount Studios backlot with all my friends and some hot boys from all over.

Thanks again to William, my metrosexual fashion expert extraordinaire for helping me shop for clothes and get a tan.

HEEHEE!

http://tomwhitmanpresents.com/events.wonderland.html

So what you're saying is...

Presently and in the not so distant future, most men are going to be fags!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20050608/lf_afp/afplifestylefashion_050608142956

Fear is a powerful thing...

I conquered it though, and made myself get checked for all kinds of STD's yesterday. If I am going to be sexually active, I might as well be responsible about it, right?

I hate clinics, hospitals, doctor's offices, nurses, and the like. But the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian Center is one of the most efficient amazing places I have ever been to.

BRAVO TO THIS GREAT PLACE. YOU GUYS ROCK.

I will be donating money to them, for such great free service and peace of mind provided.

http://www.kintera.org/site/pp.asp?c=8dJGKQNsFoG&b=374225

I am not surprised.

Onward with the destruction of our planet.

Dear God man.

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/06/04/un.atlas.reut/index.html

I hate myself in pictures, but oh well!

This is me over the just passed Memorial Day weekend!

Strawberry Fields Forever (Lennon/McCartney) --The Beatles

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20050531/en_nm/life_beatles_dc

Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to strawberry fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
Strawberry fields forever.

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see.
It’s getting hard to be someone but it all works out, it doesn’t matter much to me.

Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to strawberry fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
Strawberry fields forever.

No one I think is in my tree, I mean it must be high or low.
That is you can’t you know tune in but it’s all right, that is I think it’s not too bad.

Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to strawberry fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
Strawberry fields forever.

Always, no sometimes, think it’s me, but you know I know when it’s a dream.
I think I know I mean a ’yes’ but it’s all wrong, that is I think I disagree.

Let me take you down, ’cause I’m going to strawberry fields.
Nothing is real and nothing to get hungabout.
Strawberry fields forever. Strawberry fields forever.

A Memorable Memorial Day Weekend Alright!

Well, I partied quite a bit this weekend. Had all kinds of wild fun. My friend David finally lost his mind, and disappoints me tremendously for not being able to handle his dramatic immature temper.

And this very heartbreaking story:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20050530/ap_on_re_us/corpsman_s_life_honored

Tastes yucky, feels great!

I don't know why my sudden increased use of alcohol to make me feel better about my life, but it's working.

And no, I'm not a raging alcoholic, but I can now understand why people use and abuse it so...

CHEERS!

I have turned to the Dark Side, but in a good way I believe...

No, I will not become a cold emotionless asshole. That's not what I mean.

What I mean is, the time hath arrived for me to cease trying to climb unreachable summits and concentrate on the hills and bluffs that I already know.

I deserve to be adulated, instead of being the adulator.

So be it.

Lord Tobar...RISE!

I quit!

I wish to no longer play this or any games. Therefore, I am going to shed much emotion from my being.

I have no choice, if I want to survive...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRIIIIIIIIINGGG!

I'm really starting to feel like the main character in the movie, Office Space, BORED TO TEARS with my current job! I need to find a way to make a living that I enjoy, not yawn my way through this whole fiasco...UGH!

"Twisted by the Dark Side was he!"

O.k. Went to early this morning's packed showing of Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith, and I gotta say that although it was full of some mega cheesy moments, it was the by far the very best of the prequels.

Never to match the original last episodes however. NEVER.

And oh yeah, my iPod is working again. I am now happy once more.

"I HATE THEM! I HATE THEM ALL!"

My messed-up iPod, this boring as hell job of mine, and other issues I'm going through are enough to make me feel like Anakin Skywalker and want to turn to the dark side.

If the new Star Wars film tonight/early tomorrow morning is just as bad as the last two, then my transformation will be complete.

Um, so what happened again?!

All my beautiful hard work, all my 1000 plus songs so far on my new iPod were mysteriously deleted by an apparently defective device!

I'm off to replace this puppy and get some answers today!

Bring On The Musical Revolution!

I GOT AN IPOD! I GOT AN IPOD! I GOT AN IPOD! I GOT AN IPOD! I GOT AN IPOD! I GOT AN IPOD!

AH HA!!! Bingo!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/wendy_s_finger

The Challenge I Bear

I wish to describe to you these feelings which I feel
I do not know how it came to be or why the need
But there they are, truth be told, like the sunrise
Even when the clouds conceal its shining splendor

I know it can never be, but alas I always hold out the hope
That I can perhaps one day climb that high mountain
Or achieve that beloved goal of showing you
The value of your presence in my meandering journey

I wonder often if this too shall pass like the wind
Or if this is really what so many write and dream of
This simple thorn which doesn't sting, but is constantly there
Like your wide catchy smile and incredible brightness

It is with great regret that my heart can no longer refute
The limerence in which it now finds itself in
Alas, the deed and duty itself is done and irreparably fulfilled
The seal forever branded in its core and my being throughout

Break the seal, and change yours and my life forever...

The dichotomy of human versus animal nature.

These kinds of stories bring me close to tears!

The evil of humans towards their own children:

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050511/ap_on_re_us/girls_dead

And the greatness and love of dogs for a species like ours:

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/kenya_abandoned_baby

It boggles the mind really.