The Academy Awards. The day after. Hollywood's big party to pat itself on the back is over.
We are happy Alan Arkin surprisingly won for Little Miss Sunshine in the Best Supporting Actor category; he was actually quite funny and outrageous in that role. Sorry Eddie Murphy, you'll probably have to wait for some lifetime achievement honorary Oscar when you're about to die. We are happy Melissa Etheridge won Best Song and got to kiss and thank her wife in front of the whole country/world; I'm sure conservatives everywhere were horrified. IN YO' FACE! We are happy for Jennifer Hudson who came out of nowhere and has now become a bigger American Idol than any of the actual AI winners. We are happy for Forest Whitaker, for being gracious in his acceptance speech, a true classy gentleman and an always consistent independent actor. We are happy Martin Scorsese finally won for Best Director and that his terrific film The Departed (which I just saw Saturday night) won for Best Picture. We are happy for Al Gore and his documentary and for Ellen DeGeneres and her decent hosting job. Yes, there's lots to be happy about.
WE ARE NOT HAPPY HOWEVER, that Pan's Labyrinth lost in the Best Foreign Language Film category. WHAT?! It won in three good technical categories, but not as a film?! WHAT GIVES?! THAT SUCKS DONKEY PENIS! We are not happy Beyoncé tried to sing alongside Jennifer Hudson and outdo her. Nah uh. It ain't happening Beyoncita. EF YOU. We are not happy Spike Lee got interviewed by celeb reporters out on the red carpet and all he could do was mention Black History Month and the whole race card thang. SHADDUP SPIKE! SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY! STOP TRYING TO DIVIDE US! SICK OF YO' POLITICAL RACIAL BULLSHIT ALREADY! ARGH! We are not happy at all the stupid focus on the female fashions and jewelry, when there's more important things in the world than such superficial trivialities.
The whole awards show is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but oh well. I watch it every year nonetheless. And every year, it makes me happy.
And not so happy.