Monday, February 26, 2007

THE OSCARS: WHAT WE ARE HAPPY AND NOT SO HAPPY ABOUT.

The Academy Awards. The day after. Hollywood's big party to pat itself on the back is over.

We are happy Alan Arkin surprisingly won for Little Miss Sunshine in the Best Supporting Actor category; he was actually quite funny and outrageous in that role. Sorry Eddie Murphy, you'll probably have to wait for some lifetime achievement honorary Oscar when you're about to die. We are happy Melissa Etheridge won Best Song and got to kiss and thank her wife in front of the whole country/world; I'm sure conservatives everywhere were horrified. IN YO' FACE! We are happy for Jennifer Hudson who came out of nowhere and has now become a bigger American Idol than any of the actual AI winners. We are happy for Forest Whitaker, for being gracious in his acceptance speech, a true classy gentleman and an always consistent independent actor. We are happy Martin Scorsese finally won for Best Director and that his terrific film The Departed (which I just saw Saturday night) won for Best Picture. We are happy for Al Gore and his documentary and for Ellen DeGeneres and her decent hosting job. Yes, there's lots to be happy about.

WE ARE NOT HAPPY HOWEVER, that Pan's Labyrinth lost in the Best Foreign Language Film category. WHAT?! It won in three good technical categories, but not as a film?! WHAT GIVES?! THAT SUCKS DONKEY PENIS! We are not happy Beyoncé tried to sing alongside Jennifer Hudson and outdo her. Nah uh. It ain't happening Beyoncita. EF YOU. We are not happy Spike Lee got interviewed by celeb reporters out on the red carpet and all he could do was mention Black History Month and the whole race card thang. SHADDUP SPIKE! SHUT THE F*CK UP ALREADY! STOP TRYING TO DIVIDE US! SICK OF YO' POLITICAL RACIAL BULLSHIT ALREADY! ARGH! We are not happy at all the stupid focus on the female fashions and jewelry, when there's more important things in the world than such superficial trivialities.

The whole awards show is insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but oh well. I watch it every year nonetheless. And every year, it makes me happy.

And not so happy.

8 comments:

Todd said...

The best Oscar review I've ever read. Thanks gang...(I'm still puzzling out the plural)

Crazy Eddie said...

It was great to release the everyday stress of life and submit to the glitzy, ego-stroking Hollywood Hooplah that is the Oscars...

Reese, Gwenneth Paltrow (I usually dislike her), Celine Dion (mainly on stage when she performed) and of course... Jennifer Lopez were all ravashing. Wish I could say the same about Jennifer Hudson and Nicole Kidman (OMG).

Great coverage WAT baby!! Extremely thorough and funny as hell...

Spike Lee was a dick with a capital D.

Besos

Darci Monet said...

No we are NOT happy that Alan Arkin won! I enjoyed him immensely in LMS (he was the best part of the movie, frankly), but I felt that if there was to be a surprise upset over Eddie, it shouldn't have been him. I mean seriously...over Jackie Earle Haley, Djimon Hansou, or Mark Wahlberg (who stole every scene he appeared in in Departed). PLEASE!!! That was a "sorry we missed you the first two times" Oscar...and I SERIOUSLY got my sweat on for Jennifer Hudson after that. Cannot be happy about that. At all. It's almost as bad as freakin' Tommy Lee Jones (Fugitive) winning over Leo (Gilbert Grape) all those years ago. I'll NEVER stop being bitter about that.

Sorry. Had to vent that. At least The Departed won best picture and Marty won director. That made it possible for me to sleep, at least.

Yeah I know it doesn't matter in the scheme of things. But it's fun, regardless. :-)

Sebastien said...

Scorcese won! Can you believe it... I liked Ellen too, I've never seen her perform before. I wish I had seen more of this year's movies, but I'll get around to it. Specially looking forward to Pan's Labyrinth.

Marko said...

I didnt watch the whole thing, just bits and pieces. I was happy that Inconvienant truth won and Melissa got it for best song. Helen Mirren was well deserved as well. You have such a point about the superficial aspect of it, its getting pretty tired.

dusk&summer said...

no kidding!! pan's labyrinth should have won!! it was amazing!!

Scot said...

Do you remember this format from standardized testing?
commercials:Superbowl::red-carpet fashion:Gay-Superbowl(Oscars)
They go hand in hand, like gays at the pride parade, whether we like it or not.

Bill German said...

He should of got that for taxi driver so many years ago. Travis!