Thursday, July 15, 2010


The heat has finally hit L.A. and with a terrible vengeance too.

Some of ye kids want to get violent on my ex, but that is NOT the answer. I me
an, I won't deny that I'd like to deck him, but I do love him; sadly he has a terrible almost incurable disorder. Narcissism is selfish, controlling, hurtful, and highly toxic. You heard about Mel Gibson's horrible tantrums right? THAT'S NARCISSISM IN ALL ITS AWFUL HORRID GLORY. To the victims like me, it is a nightmare because the original charming person we fell for is gone, but to the one who is causing it, it will ultimately prove to be self-destructive, for he will end up alone. As of now, he hates me and has banished me forever, and this makes me feel awful (which is his intent), because I don't deserve it ya know? All I've done is called him on his terrible behavior and gone off on him for being such an a**hole, and so he got caught trying to cheat on the new doormat BF and now I'm the enemy. Why should I even f*cking care what he thinks of me? Why do I allow him to emotionally manipulate me like this?! WHY DO I SUFFER OVER YOU?! I'm walking around like a zombie now, functioning on automatic pilot. I don't want to get out of bed at all. I go to work when I can, and all I do is sob. And all everyone says is STOP IT ALREADY! Okay. Sure. I'll just pull out a Harry Potter wand and make it all magically go away. There I lay late at nights, and feel a tremendous pull and attraction towards him sometimes, as if he is connecting with me psychically wanting to be with me, but not having the courage enough to ever give in. Am I projecting my emotions on him? OR ARE THIS FOOL AND I REALLY COMMUNICATING? He still wants me. I know it. I F*CKING KNOW IT. I CAN FEEL IT. I want to move on, but it's so tough. Worst moment of my life ever. EVER. If you dislike me as a person, you can rejoice/enjoy my misery, because it is serious. SO DEEPLY PAINFUL. :(

25 years ago this week, Live Aid was held and guess who stole the show?! QUEEN of course! Freddie Mercury had thousands of fans at Wembley Stadium in the palm of his hand:


Conclave27 said...

First of Mel Gibson... what was said in the privacy of his home is being taken out of context. Sure he is a racist and a bigot, but she is a leech that been feeding of of him for years. when he finally admitted his career was over that when she decided to jump ship... then she provoked him... just like women usually do for entrapment and money.

As far as for your "problem"... walk away. No more contact etcetra... and if you believe in magic and psychic stuff... you do know of more than one person that can shield you if need be from the psychic vampire or go on the offensive. I always hope and pray for the best... and ironically you do know know a witch/psychic and one who has the blood of a shaman as well... cough

RG said...

I have to agree with Conclave here - walk away. Walk away and never look back.

And for the record, Mel is a douche; he's always been a douche and will continue to be a douche for the rest of his life.

Palm Springs Savant said...

start thinking positively. you control your destiny WAT, what you think projects out into the Universe and reverberates back. So put that negative out of your mind and replace it with POSITIVE thoughts? :)

Anonymous said...

I hate racists & homophobes more than anything. Esp a really powerful one that has to be taken down by any means possible, but still won't be taken down because of his power.


alice said...

I'm so sorry you are in such pain, Will. It is undeserved and the people who care about you feel helpless in trying to rescue you. Whether or not it is true that he still wants you doesn't matter - if he does, it's for the wrong reason. He is still a narcissist and he would only be using you. He doesn't want you for the sake of giving love - only what he gets out of it. Those kind of people don't understand, and never will, what it means to share themselves - they only take. Run from him, please. Don't even get near him - not physically or emotionally. He will only cause more pain because that is what he is good at. I'm rambling, but I just don't want him to have the opportunity to hurt you any more than he already has.

I know this getting stronger thing, and the growth that you will expereince as a person sucks. But you will eventually look back on this time and realize you had to go through this part to get to the next, which will be better. Honest.