YOU'RE SO VAIN. YOU PROBABLY THINK THIS POST IS ABOUT YOU.

I'm gonna have serious issues getting older. I already am having issues DAMNIT! My hair is starting to show lots of gray, but other than that, I still look pretty young, hip, and fresh. AHAHAHAAHHHAAH! Yeah, I'm with it baby! I need to successfully find that elusive Fountain of Youth, and quick!

I dunno. I find it horrid that the freshness of youth has to slowly but surely wither and wilt away, like a beautiful flower. I don't look forward to the upcoming changes my body will begin to show as I start pushing certain decades. I often look at people in their fifties who show me pictures of themselves when they were in their twenties and thirties and am often horrified at the dramatic changes their bodies have undergone! A woman at work who used to be gorgeous and rail thin in her twenties has now blown up to the size of a hot air balloon in her fifties! WHAT THA HELL HAPPENED, WHY, AND HOW??!! I had a hard time looking at her pictures from the 1970s and not displaying shock and awe on my face at the dramatic change! I used to have an old man as a neighbor, and he was in his eighties and looking pretty beat up. When I saw a black and white pic hanging on his wall from whence he was 25, I just about lost my lower jaw. There he was, a strapping handsome lad at one point only to look like a corpse some fifty years later. How utterly and bitterly cruel!

I know it has a lot to do with how you take care of yourself and shit, but still man. No matter how much you exercise, how well you eat, how much you sleep, drink water, you're still going to age. The skin will eventually sag, wrinkle, implode, and lose its elasticity. Extra pounds will probably come in to ruin the glorious fast metabolism you once possessed in yer youth. In my case, I'm pretty thin, so I have no idea how much I will eventually gain, if anything. But the gray hair will continue to invade my scalp and face, as I already notice it doing. And I'm really not that old age-wise mind you, it's just genetics that the men in my family go gray fairly young. I will physically change somehow as my ship sails along, but I dunno what kind of wrecking ball is going to hit me and how it will shatter my now handsome youth (modest bastard) and turn me into a decrepit old man. That is of course, if I live to see old age, which James Dean and Marilyn Monroe immortally did not!

Looking at celebrities and pics from their youth from time to time, I am amazed at how some of them have dramatically changed! Brigitte Bardot, a woman who was gorgeous in the 1950s now looks like a real cadaver! HOW AND WHY? LORD!!! WHYYYYYYYYY????!!!!!!!!! And I know you've seen Jack LaLanne and his juicer informercial. The man is in great shape of course in his eighties, but he still has aged considerably, and nothing has stopped it. NOTHING. Liz Taylor, Paul Newman, Eddie Van Halen, Warren Beatty, Robert Redford were all so hot in their prime and now look like they're ready to hop into their graves practically. I know some of them have abused their bodies and crap, but it don't matter kids. THE IMPLOSION WILL COME AND WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IF YOU LIVE LONG ENOUGH. You can grow old and age gracefully, and some do it remarkably well, but sometime eventually, the body's just gotta give.

In gay culture, turning 30 is a nightmare to many, even though it is often the best decade in a man's physical, emotional, and mental state. Youth is cherished and superficially expected. We are often bombarded with images of young, hot, well-built dudes in all kinds of ads. It is not cool to be old and homo. Perhaps maybe one of the reasons why I have this certain vanity? Even though older is better in bed and wisdom (and I have proven this), it is often perceived negatively by many in youth-obsessed gay culture.

So, whatever man. Let it be. Let time take its toll as it wishes. I'm trying to take care of myself as much as possible. I'm pretty pale, and avoid the sun often which I read is real bad for the skin. Trying to take as many pics of myself now, before it all falls apart and time begins its concerted effort on my physical mortal shell. Trying to enjoy all that blissful youth has to offer, before the ugly specter of geriatric senility hits me and I am no longer sexually attractive to anyone.

"Vanity of vanities, saith the Preacher, vanity of vanities; all is vanity." -Ecclesiastes 1:2

HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH.

That's right, another one of these special months devoted to making certain ethnic groups feel better about their contributions! LOLOLOL! What, we have low self-esteem you say? NAH!

Okay. Let's get it going. I'm an avid hispanophile as you may already know, and am going to share with you some facts I've been mulling over and want to share with you that you may not have been aware of!

Cool Facts Relating to Hispanic/Latino Culture:

--Christina Aguilera's (our little singing machine extraordinaire) father was born in Ecuador.

--Martin Sheen's (notable actor and activist) real name is Ramón Estévez. There's his son Charlie, whose real name is Carlos, and that other one who kept his original name altogether.

--The English word alligator comes from the Spanish word el lagarto, which literally means, "the lizard."

--Spain has the ninth largest economy in the world.

--One country in Africa has Spanish as its official language, a small little place called Equatorial Guinea.

--Spain was largely influenced by the Romans of course, but also received tremendous Jewish and Arab contributions as well. Fully one quarter of current Spanish words are of Arab origin, including the term, ¡Olé!

--The Philippines, were named after King Philip II (Felipe II) of Spain in the 1500s, Las Filipinas.

--Linda Carter, of Wonder Woman fame, was born to a Mexican-American mother.

--The oldest European settlement in the United States is St. Augustine, FL which was founded by the Spaniards in 1565.

--La Paz, Bolivia is the highest capital city in the world at 11,811 ft. Hope you can breathe!

--Rita Moreno, born in Puerto Rico, is one of only nine people to ever win all four top entertainment awards: Oscar, Emmy, Tony, and a Grammy.

--The late great Beatle George Harrison's widow and the mother of his only son Dhani was born Olivia Arias, in Mexico.

--Hip-shaking Colombian superstar Shakira's father is of Lebanese descent.

--Charo, the crazy and eccentric accomplished flamenco guitarist (one of the best in the world), was born in Spain with the following full name: María del Rosario Pilar Martínez Molina Baeza de Rasten.

--The city with the most Spanish speakers in the world is Mexico City.

--Fresno, is the Spanish word for ash tree.

--Desiderio Alberto Arnaz y de Acha, III was the birthname of the beloved Cuban actor who played Ricky Ricardo on I Love Lucy.

--10 Nobel Prizes in Literature have been awarded to Spanish speaking authors, including Gabriela Mistral from Chile and Miguel Ángel Asturias from Guatemala, for their contributions to world literature.

--Monica Lewinsky (famous for pleasuring Clinton and getting clothing stained), is the daughter of a Jewish doctor who was born and raised in El Salvador.

--What many consider to be the first modern novel and the greatest ever is Don Quixote de la Mancha, written by the Spaniard, Miguel de Cervantes.

--Talented actor Joaquin Phoenix was born in Puerto Rico and speaks Spanish.

--In Madonna's song Who's That Girl?, the title of the song is repeated in Spanish as "¿Quién es esa niña?" followed by the line, "Señorita, más fina", which means: "A fine little lady."

--The background vocals in The Clash's huge hit Should I Stay or Should I Go are sung in broken Spanish.

I may do a part two to this. Till then...

¡Hasta la vista!

CONFESSIONS ON A TALK SHOW.

Well.

There he was, the former governor of New Jersey, Jim McGreevey, on Oprah last week spilling his guts (albeit very uncomfortably), about his secret gay life and how it all blew up once the Israeli lover he had threatened to ruin his marriage and career. McGreevey says he had no choice but to come out of the closet and resign, as you may remember some two years ago. They kept showing his wife staring at him while he was at that podium giving his resignation speech back in 2004 and you could swear her eyes almost look demonic and distraught at the same time.

I watched the interview, and thought it was fascinating. Oprah was pretty direct and scored quite the guest. She had some of the highest ratings in her show's history. I sensed most of the women watching in the audience were quite upset and disgusted at Jim's secret life while married, especially when it came to all the gory details of his visiting of alleys, adult bookshops, and even the back of a synagogue to have anonymous hot hardcore gay sex. He even brought out his current male lover whom McGreevey says he has found complete peace and contentment with.

I found Jim to be pretty honest, and trying his best to explain the utter hell that his life was in trying to hide his sexual orientation by having married twice and having two daughters. As he stated on Oprah, he came from a strict Catholic background, wanted to rid himself of the homo tendencies as much as possible, and loved political office and felt there was no way he'd be accepted unless married and family-oriented. Although I do not agree with toying with women's emotions in order to hide your secret, I can understand societal, family, and personal pressures some guys still to this day feel to not admit they're gay and which compel them to establish relationships with women. It was worse in the old days, and should at least be easier nowadays to come out.

Remember Ennis dudes. Yeah, Ennis Del Mar from Brokeback Mountain. Look at Jim McGreevey. Trying to deny that ya like ta smoke pole or pack the fudge is the worst thing possible. Yeah, it ain't easy to admit it either, but the rewards and heartache of just accepting your true desires goes a long way in becoming a complete and honest human being.

Yeah, society will probably not fully accept us for a while (if ever fully), but strides have and continue to be made.

Till then, if you're queer dear and here,

Try and get used to it.

WHAT A BUFFOON!

How unbecoming of a statesman. Hugo Chávez goes to the UN this week and spews all this ridiculous name-calling against the President.

Even though many of us have issues with Bushy (and rightfully so), I still think the behavior of the controversial and outspoken leader of Venezuela is uncalled for. How embarrassing! The world really hates America right now. They want to see our downfall. They really do.

Dude, just give your speech (which has some good points), but have more class and decency when doing so.

¡Estúpido!

Good news for Noam Chomsky though. Looks like his book, which was mentioned by Hugo, has shot up the bestseller list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1WWaE5YX7o

En español:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCHrEBY-fyY

Jon Stewart hilariously pokes fun at this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=syhN7514v9g&mode=related&search=

A SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE C CHANNEL NETWORK:

THE C CHANNEL NETWORK
The C Channel is building a multi-interest website that brings together 3 distinct sites - Travel, Shopping and Weddings. Each one features articles, destination profiles, vendor profiles and a whole load of new tools to attract a global audience. This includes the still young Travel Forum, and the Wedding Agenda, a promising tool that will be completely free and is due out in late 2006.

The C Channel network has also recently introduced The C Directories, 5 user-friendly directories of websites, blogs, online retailers and other sites categorized under thousands of differenet subjects. Only a month old, it attracts new registrations every day of eBusinesses eager to become part of The C Channel Network. For example, in the Travel category, you can find Travel Street, a comprehensive guide to travel in Asia, Worlwide Holiday Homes with over 1,000 holiday homes in 51 countries including Spain, USA, Australia and Malaysia, plus Villa Tuscane and Tuscany Villas, the best place for holiday rentals in Tuscany.

In our Shopping Directory, we feature the likes of Teen Plus Size Clothing and Plus Size Lingerie. And if you're getting married soon, you might like to check out http://engagementrings.ws. Plus, for the best deals the Directory of Wholesalers will tell you where to look.

In the Entertainment category, you can find a great site about Mahjong, for music-lovers there's Hip Hop 100 and New York nightlife, keeps you up-to-date on the local party scene. You'll also find a site about Indie rock musician Danielle Evin, and Rakeback for poker lovers. But there's even links to Famous quotations and the Silly stuff blog. And game buffs can check out the Games Directory.

In the Health & Beauty category, we feature a myriad of sites with all sorts of information, like Cocovida Coconut Oil and Wellness News and Unique Asthma treatment secrets. In our Sports section, you'll find the best source of information about all major sports in Sports Facts. Golfers will delight over at Secret Golf training System, and motorsports fans should visit Modded Mustangs and the German im-auto.de.

In the Real Estate Category, Construction World and the Real Estate Search by City Resource Directory are 2 of the best sources for home-searchers. And if you are a new home-buyer, check out our Finance category to find the best sources to help you with your money-matters, like TSP Talk, Ledger Services, Stocks and Mutual Funds or ChexSystems & Bad Credit Solutions.

In our Tools for Webmasters Directory, we feature some of the best multimedia directories for your audio, video and photo editing work, including Multimedia downloads, Audio & Video editing, converter and burning software, Audio & Video Software tools, the powerful and user-friendly MP3 Ripper, the best tool to Burn DVD Movies, Photo Editor, Digital Video Editor, Music Software, and two of the handiest directories for Multimedia and Graphics.

We also provide links to some of the best SEO sites online such as SEO and Internet Marketing, The Webmaster SEO Blog and SEO Ireland. Plus, there's links to some of the best tools for webmasters, like Cheap domain register, Cheap domain hosting, and Webhost advisor. Learn where to find Niche articles, keep track of your backlinks with Link Checker, and Buy text links. We also feature other directories like the Alive Web Directory, Free Web Index and Submit Dot Com. Plus there's other great links like Paid Survey online, which claims to tell you how you can make some extra cash.

There's plenty to see, so pay us a visit.

TEN THOUSAND!!!

A little pat on the back here for reaching 10,000 hits on this site!

I'd like a BJ now.

Thank you.

MORE CARS THAN PEOPLE.

Everything you've heard about LA and our horrendous traffic problem is true.

Our freeways are marvelous architectural wonders that can get you almost anywhere in this immense city in the span of 20-30 minutes. HOWEVER: add in all those cars and you have the recipe for horrific extended travel times. From about 7a.m. till about 10p.m. most days now, major LA freeways are clogged with nothing but cars. We used to have a thing called rush hour here, which was basically weekday mornings and afternoons, but that has long been replaced by constant fucking traffic most of the time now on almost any day. For those unlucky to work far from their homes, this can be quite stressful, annoying, and expensive. Ya gotta make sure you have a favorite radio station, CD's, or an iPod to pass the time. No one walks here, but that's because this is such a spread out city, and driving seems to be the only viable option for most of us.

Our public transportation sucks donkey penis. Yeah, we got the buses, trains, and a limited subway system, but it's too big a city, and the wait and travel time stuck in those sardine boxes can be a nightmare. You gotta take some 47 buses, 2 trains, and perhaps even a cab to get from point A to point B sometimes. It does work for many people however, and were it not for them using the public transport system, God knows how much worse our problem would be. Usually our poor minorities ride of course, which is why Spanish is often used on our public transport signs. And taxi cabs are almost non-existent here and very freakin' expensive.

The best times to drive? Probably past 10p.m. till about 6 in the morning. Then you can really appreciate just coasting through our thoroughfares, and seeing how truly amazing these multi-laned masterpieces really are, while the rest of LA's humanity sleeps. Once they wake up, it's hell again.

Perhaps most mornings on weekends too will be quite traffic free, but now even on Saturdays and Sundays we get heavy traffic due to everyone trying to go out somewhere to have fun.

Because everyone wants to live in LA (legal or illegal) due to the opportunities this city provides (yeah RIGHT!) and our phenomenal weather (odd crazy weather if you ask me), we are the car and smog capital of America.

Nothing like doing 75m.p.h. on the 405 Freeway!

Only feasible at 2 a.m. of course.

HE'S INTELLECTUAL, HE'S HOMOSEXUAL!

You may have already heard of and seen Queer Duck. It's the very witty and raunchy cartoon that has been on the Internet now for a few years. Originally on a small website called Icebox.com that promoted independent animators with a twisted sense of humor, Showtime noticed the cartoon and then started playing it along with its hit show Queer As Folk. The cartoon has become sort of a cult favorite, especially amongst gay men of course, who can relate to its central character and his many friends and adventures, although some may be offended by its stereotypes.

Now comes the DVD called Queer Duck: The Movie, which I just finished watching this weekend, and I must say, it is pretty funny. Like the original small shorts, the film pokes fun at all things gay and is a non-stop endless assault on Hollywood celebrities. Conan O'Brien, David Duchovny, Tim Curry, and even Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker) do guest spots on the new DVD. It's worth a look. Interestingly and hilariously enough, I was told by my beloved bud that he's seen the DVD mistakenly placed in the kids' section at many stores. Parents who buy this unknowingly for their children are in for a big gay crude surprise; certainly animated, but not for the kiddies!

The voice actors (which have been doing the shorts since the very beginning), are pretty first rate including Jim J. Bullock (of Too Close for Comfort fame) as Queer Duck, and a slew of other fine talented people who give this small little queer cartoon lots of life.

Not as big as The Simpsons or South Park of course, but check out one of the shorts.

Each is only about four minutes long:

http://www.sho.com/site/queerduck/home.do

http://queerduck.icebox.com/

DIDN'T WE ALMOST HAVE IT ALL?

Congratulations are in order to Whitney Houston, a woman with a beautiful voice who has finally come to her senses! YES BABY! It's about damn time you divorced that asswipe Bobby Brown! ABOUT DAMN TIME! YEAH GIRL!

Mind you, I used to like Bobby at one time too back in the late eighties. But then I started hearing about all his drug abuse problems and his increasing negative influence on our diva Whitney. I mean, Whitney was given that amazing talented voice, and seemed to be on top of the world when she famously and gloriously sang the National Anthem at the Super Bowl sometime back in 1991. Even bigger success came to her with The Bodyguard. And like our current disaster Britney, once Whitney married Bobby, it all slowly but surely went downhill from there.

We're all hoping and praying Whitney can go back into that recording studio and make a comeback. Let's face it, she's got the goods to deliver. Some two years ago I believe, at the World Music Awards, Whitney went out on stage and delivered a performance so mesmerizing, it gave the audience there and me the TV viewer chills.

Crack was nice for a while Whitney, but time to get back to business!

DANIEL WAYNE SMITH.

OH GOD. AS MUCH AS I LOVE A GOOD TIME, TRAGEDY NEVER FUCKING ENDS.

I am absolutely shocked and upset at the death of Anna Nicole Smith's 20 year-old son Daniel this week. This comes at the most ironic time too, for she just gave birth to a daughter as well. Incomprehensible! The kid just died right at the very hospital where his sister had just been born a few days earlier!

I remember watching her silly and funny as hell show on E! a few years back, and there was Daniel, always in the background, so cute and quiet. He was just adorable! I feel terrible for his mother, who must be going through a rollercoaster of emotions right now at having just given birth to a girl and losing her one and only boy.

Looks like the cause of death may be drug related, but they're not sure whether it was due to prescription meds or recreational abuse. Or was it just a freak incident? We'll just have to wait and see.

Regardless, I feel absolutely awful for Anna and all mothers who have lost a child to whatever cause of death. My aunt's beloved only son just died last week, and I have yet to make the call to offer my condolences. My cousin is gone after years of therapy for an injury, and it must be just devastating for her and my uncle. He was only 32. Earlier this year, at my half sister's wake, I felt so terrible hugging her mom as she cried. It was the worst thing to have to do, and I broke down thinking how much pain she must've been in losing her daughter to that fucking cancer at 44.

To all moms like Anna Nicole, I offer you strength and the perseverance to deal with the emotional toll of losing a child. After all, we're supposed to bury our parents, not the other way around right?

But alas, that is not always the case.

IN MEMORIAM: FIVE YEARS LATER.

Whatever ideology it was that led to all of the horror of that day and whom you believe was ultimately at fault and responsible, the fact remains that close to 3,000 people lost their lives brutally. To their loved ones, friends, families, co-workers, and all who are still alive with the pain of those they lost, I dedicate this post and wish you and our country as a whole the strength to continue healing from this painful moment in our history.

I have heard and read so many insensitively say that the number killed on that morning was pretty insignificant, and that we really dodged a bullet that more did not get killed. I say to you: 3,000 is way too many victims; people who went to work as normal, and never returned home to their families or pets. I have posted here a disturbing but necessary clip of someone who died that awful morning, Kevin Cosgrove.

IF YOU ARE TOO SENSITIVE OR EASILY UPSET DO NOT LISTEN- (sound comes in after some 25 seconds of video footage of the attacks):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EE9TLgCVLBM

THE COUPLE FROM HELL! TV REPORTER SAVAGELY ATTACKED!

BOY, SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO ADMIT WHEN THEY'VE DONE SOMETHING WRONG! AND THEY BEAT UP <--THIS REPORTER TOO! FUCKHEADS! WHAT A LOUSE! AND THE WIFE SEEMS TO BE JUST AS BAD, IF NOT WORSE! SOMEONE OUGHTTA GIVE THAT BITCH A GOOD FIST SANDWICH! WOW! THIS FOOTAGE HAS TO BE SEEN TO BE BELIEVED!

(note: if first link below doesn't work for you, try the second link, on upper right hand corner of page for video)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8d98Vjuo3zQ

http://www.fox6.com/news/unit6/story.aspx?content_id=67522AFC-D21F-4497-8BFE-2A7F82DC0094

http://www.fox6.com/news/unit6/story.aspx?content_id=3D35A99B-F10A-45D9-91DB-7507B48FE677

"OTHER CITIES, MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A DORK!" --MADONNA

Okay. I'm an LA kind of dude. Born and raised totally on the West Coast. I know New Yorkers look down on LA, but both cities rule the country, so can't we all just get along? I'll write my in-depth analysis of Los Angeles (the second greatest American city) some other time though.

New York City is indisputably THEE greatest American city. Even though I have never been, we all know it, thanks to the incredible amount of attention it receives in the media; on TV and in countless motion pictures, who doesn't know its many world famous landmarks: the Empire State Building, Rockefeller Center, Broadway, Radio City Music Hall, Central Park, Times Square, The Statue of Liberty, the Brooklyn Bridge, and the list goes on and on. Ah yes, the Big Apple. Feels like we've all been doesn't it? In an ironic twist, many shows filmed in LA are supposedly set in New York City! Now that's saying something!

It sounds like an amazing place really. Heavy with traffic and people, on the constant go, and with an incredibly vibrant social and cultural scene, New York is most definitely the supreme American city par exellence. Howard Stern airs his show every morning from NYC, and I feel a connection of sorts with the place and their everyday colorful speech patterns.

Not that I don't worry constantly over Los Angeles mind you, regarding a terrorist attack or earthquake, but New York is extremely troubling to me. They brought down the World Trade Center (sorely missing from the skyline now) five years ago, and I often wonder when the city will be attacked by terrorists again, perhaps even nuclear terrorism since it is so densely and heavily populated. As recently featured on a National Geographic special I was watching, New York City is also at great risk for a Category 3 hurricane in the near future that would cause massive property damage and loss of life. YES, A HURRICANE!

I hope to visit this magnificent sounding place sometime soon. For now, here I am, on the West Coast.

Living vicariously in New York through our media as usual.

THE DEATH OF THE CROCODILE HUNTER.

This is already one big news story that just keeps growing.

Steve Irwin (better known as The Crocodile Hunter to millions on TV) was hit in the chest by a stingray and killed while making a documentary in the waters off of Australia. Unbelievable, and yet hardly shocking at the same time. The man did deal with some very dangerous animals, and was constantly putting his life at risk.

Already I'm reading some truly mean comments from certain people that say he once put the life of his baby in danger while feeding a croc, and that all he did was intrude on natural environments. Come on people! Give the dead man a break! He loved animals and was only trying to expose them to the world for conservation purposes. He sure was a little nutty, but obviously loved what he did, and died doing it apparently.

I feel so bad for his wife and two kids. She especially, must be devastated.

So R.I.P. mate.

A short but extraordinary life indeed.

SURF'S UP DUDE!

Jack Johnson has been around for some five years now, but it's only recently that I really started paying attention to his music ya know? A lot of his songs have the same sound or style, but he's quite good and very catchy. Born and raised in Hawaii of all places, he used to professionally surf, until he suffered some bad injuries apparently and he took up songwriting. Well whaddyoo know? He's made quite a good decent name for himself. And I can almost bet he's got a good set of groupies following him, because he just happens to be kinda good looking too.

Anyway, I discovered this hidden gem on his very first album Brushfire Fairytales, and I am impressed at the relative simplicity and lyrical wordplay of this fine fine song. I freakin' love this tune man! Please go to the link, have a listen and tell me whats ya think!

It's All Understood by Jack Johnson:

http://media.putfile.com/Its-All-Understood