CARPE DIEM!

I couldn't go to work today! I just couldn't! I'm burned out, exhausted! I needed to get away from my spectacularly rewarding amazing thrilling job and just stay home. I'll prolly go to Target a bit later and enjoy a nice time shopping for some stuff. I could use a haircut too, although my hair right now actually looks kind of rad to be honest. Long, coarse, and very healthy-looking with some gray here and there, but not too bad. With enough gel and hairspray, I think I look supercool. LOLOL!
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2012 is coming; the big year the Mayans foretold as dramatically Earth-changing. Remember how freaked out people were back in the year 2000 that it was all gonna fall apart? Mind you, we're still here somehow, but frankly this decade has not been that great now has it? I mean, 2001 came and ruined it all; my parents' homeland had two major killer quakes, I had a nervous breakdown, my father was killed, and the U.S. got terrorist-attacked. It was a terrible terrible year. Thanks to prescription meds and the discovery of marijuana by yours truly, the years after that have been much more tolerable, but still. STILL! It hasn't really gotten any better has it? Everything is more expensive, and people are walking around pretty stressed-out and worried. It's really hard to be optimistic about the future. That's pretty f**king sad kids! I don't wanna bring y'all down or anything, but these are really empty nihilistic times we live in! Or maybe it's just me? Maybe I'm just going insane little by little and am THIS CLOSE to ending up in a padded room? Oh Harvey! Harvey! Where are you my imaginary rabbit friend? Uh. Yeah.
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Phil Hartman was a pretty cool funny guy. I used to watch him a lot on Saturday Night Live back in the late 1980s. I was reading about him recently and the psycho woman he was married to. Jesus! She shot the poor dude several times while he was asleep in the face, ending a brilliant comedic career! This was 10 years ago already! Alas dear friends, we just never know when our time is gonna be up in this strange world/dimension. I'm fixated on this idea of my time here being temporary, because it truly is. No matter how rich, how famous, how successful, no one is gonna make it out of here alive! And generally, old people die the most of course, but young and vibrant full-of-life folks still can and DO croak as well! James Dean, Marilyn Monroe, Heath Ledger, and Selena all died young! Gotta spread the love and kindness while still here, because God forbid my wife shoots me in the face while I'm asleep and ends my fantastic life! Oh wait. I'm gay. I don't have a wife. Well, HAHA! Well, thank goodness! One less way to kick the bucket!
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I leave you with The Shins. A great great band for the millennium from Albuquerque, New Mexico.

WE MEET AGAIN DR. JONES.

My cold never fully materialized, but I still felt kind of blah all weekend. I'm usually lazy as is, but it's been worse the last three days or so. I'm definitely behind on many of yer blogs, but will visit them whilst at work this week for sure.

So here I am, begrudgingly back at work. I gotta keep in mind how fortunate I am right? God bless my co-workers, even though at times I feel like I've run out of things to talk about with them! LOL! I mean, I see them all the damn time, and there comes a point where I don't even know what to say to them anymore without sounding monotonous or mundane! Karaoke last night sucked, in that I couldn't sing as well because I was fighting a respiratory bug and this older gentleman who hangs out at the bar from time to time had to point out how bad I sounded on stage, even though he never has the balls to go up and sing himself. The nerve! The utter nerve of some people! I never once even stopped to think of and appreciate the extra day off and what it means to our men and women who have served in the military, so here's a bit of a belated thank you to those who have fought and fallen for the cause!

O.k. I braved the crowds and went to see the new Indy movie. I liked it. It had some great visuals and good action scenes, but I wasn't wowed or mesmerized by it like I was with the other ones. Cate Blanchett is terrific playing a black wig-wearing Russian chick, but that goes without saying because she is amazing in almost every movie role I have ever seen her in. Harrison Ford is definitely looking his age, but that's okay because he's gonna pass the franchise onto the adorable Shia LaBeouf who will be the new Indiana Jones I suppose. There's a truly great scene in this new film where a nuclear weapon is used, and I was drooling and loving every minute of it because I have a strange fascination with nukes going off; the sheer power and devastation one of those things unleashes in a matter of seconds is frightening and quite divine! They also mentioned Spanish conquistador Francisco de Orellana in the film as part of the plot, and I can only imagine how truly brave and courageous these Spaniards were back in the day when they were going out of their way to explore and search for gold in these "new lands" that they encountered. Many of them died in the New World and never made it back home to Spain. Greed and curiosity are greater I suppose than the fear of death?

Casey Affleck is the best thing about Gone Baby Gone, which was directed by his dumbass brother Ben. Yeah, interesting plot I suppose, but the focus on Boston and the white trash that lives there got on my nerves after a while. And Juno was a simple and cute little movie, which got way more attention than it deserved, but Hollywood loves to hype certain films to death, and this was one of them.

I'm such a movie critic I know. I'll try not to quit my day job...

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND 2008.

I don't even know why I should be so excited or happy today, since I'm battling an oncoming cold bug, but I guess since Memorial Day Weekend is here I have a right to celebrate a bit I suppose!

The reviews for the new Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull film have been generally positive, so I'm pretty excited now to go see it! WOOHOO! I remember watching the first two films like crazy on video back in the 1980s, and then actually going to the theater to catch the last one they made back in 1989! OMG! I was still a teenager! And River Phoenix was still alive! The years fly on by! Ya know, even the worst movie by director Steven Spielberg is still good, so you can never go wrong with the Jew. A lot of people criticize him for his commercial moviemaking style, but he is undeniably a genius filmmaker, and I always applaud him for getting good believable performances from his actors. Hey, I grew up with Spielberg's movies okay? My co-worker says she frequently sees Steven in my neighborhood by the Emmy building and he is a very nice fellow who always waves and says hello. The new movie should be a huge blockbuster hit, and I am so there baby!

I have no set plans this holiday weekend, other than to relax, hang with friends, and watch movies. Any of you crazy yakgellars got anything hot going on? Who's gonna venture out that far out of their town anyway, with gas prices being what they are right? After a hot-as-hell scorching weekend here in L.A. we're now cloudy and rainy! Go figure! No wonder I feel a bit sicky poo. I don't recall starting my 33rd year of life so upbeat or optimistically. In fact, I was kind of down and depressed, but this year 2008 has been very good to me so far, and I am impressed by my very laidback demeanor and simplicity with which I have been able to deal with life and the generally positive perspective I am taking with many of the things that used to stress me out or make me anxious. What has happened here I wonder? The latter half of being 33 has been quite wonderful! Maybe it's the prunes I now eat in high quantities! LOLOL! Maybe it's what my bud Adam said, that being three decades and three years old was actually one of the best years for a gay man. I'm doing concerts and other general outings more often now than ever before. I sure feel braver than I used to. Thank God. Thank you Lord. Please keep me as healthy as possible, is all I ask.

Have a great great holiday weekend! I expect 35 comments by Monday. HA!

I'LL KEEP MY 20 CENTIMETERS. THANKS!

I'm so bloody tired. I'm fighting a slight cold or something...

They had open mic karaoke at my local bar twice this week, on Monday and Tuesday nights. Although Monday night was more crowded and lively, I found it interesting to find gay dudes and lesbians on Tuesday night who were not that crazy about or into the legalization of gay marriage! Imagine that! Oh yes, we're a strange sub-culture aren't we? I didn't have a belt on Monday night so my pants were kind of falling down, and the sweet nice Irish bartender lent me his, even though it wasn't small enough to go around my tiny waist. He said, "I know you're self-conscious about your little waist, but you're beautiful, and you should be proud." The highlight of my karaoke adventure this week was getting the chance to sing this remarkable song; I only wish I'd had fireworks on the stage to go along with it. LOL!

This past Sunday, I watched a pretty cool movie from Spain called 20 centímetros, and although very much like the terrific Hedwig and the Angry Inch, it was still quite enjoyable and wonderful a picture! The main actress playing a frustrated pre-op transsexual is marvelous, and the witty cheesy musical numbers were fun to watch. I really really liked it, and highly recommend this wonderful little film! The masculine love interest in the film is quite the hottie too! DAMN! It's tough enough to be a gay dude, but can you even imagine what it would be like to not be happy with the gender you were biologically born with? I'm most pleased to be a guy, and would never even think of taking female hormones or chopping up my penis to turn it into a vagina. That is some heavy shit man!

Politics and the past aside, I honestly feel bad for Ted Kennedy.

DO YOU SOLEMNLY SWEAR?

For the first time in this blog's almost four-year history, I have a guest blogger doing the dirty work for me! I thought I'd allow my beloved Loren Soth to write up his expertise on gay marriage and the incredible times we find ourselves in, that it has been made legal in California! Howard Stern was making me laugh out loud this morning, and was thrilled that "two men could now suck each other off legally", showing his wonderful support to the gay community!

Without further delay, here's Loren's write-up:

Thursday, May 15^th was a historical day for homosexuals in California because they have gained the privilege of being recognized as legally married. The California Supreme Court approved the gay marriage issue on the grounds that existing same-sex civil unions did not accurately reflect the privileges and responsibilities that a heterosexual marriage is afforded. Despite the “moral” proponents out there who wish to overturn the court's ruling, our governor promised he would not support any initiative to amend the state constitution.

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Regardless of whether you are religious or not, the issue of gay marriage is important. In the legal world there are three standings: divorced, married, or single. Each status has a lasting affect on how you my live your life; from issues having to do with taxes, childcare, income, job placement, family care, etc. Yet among our 50 states, committed homosexual couples are still restricted or limited from receiving benefits associated with committed aka “married” heterosexual couples. In legal terms, a “marriage” is just a recognized “civil union”, in which case it doesn’t matter whether you're hetero or homosexual. It’s a legal contract between two people who join their assets together in order to be considered a joint entity.

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Already the opposition has reared its ugly head. On Friday, I witnessed one youth with a red shirt showing the symbol of “Man + Woman = Marriage”. People are already being polarized to take these civil liberties away this coming election November in California. These people believe that such an issue should be decided by the people. W T F??? Does anyone understand how our legal system works? Do people realize that if we voted on the issue of black discrimination back in the 1950’s and 1960’s, blacks would still be non-citizens? Imagine if there was a vote to end woman’s suffrage? Not even the Northerners would support a vote to end slavery back in the 1800’s. Sometimes the majority can be wrong! Just look at what happened to a guy named Jesus around 30 A.D. We look back now and see how the majority was wrong for murdering an innocent man because some people didn’t like his message of tolerance for people.

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As for me, I want the privilege of marriage. I want to provide my loving partner the legal security to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish 'till death do us part. I have always loved my soulmate, I just want to take care of him like any good husband would.

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Anti same-sex marriage items links:

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http://www.cafepress.com/buy/anti-+gay+marriage/-/pv_design_details/pg_1/id_23828958/opt_/fpt_/c_666/

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http://www.cafepress.com/buy/anti-gay+marriage

NOT ONLY DO I WANT YOU CHANNING TATUM BUT I WANNA LOOK LIKE YOU TOO.

This post means a lot to me. I'm frustrated today. Channing, I'm green with envy that I cannot have you nor look like thee.

It's difficult enough to be a gay male in this dominant hetero world, without the added pressure exerted upon us by the media and our own superficial culture to look good. Wait a sec. You can't just look good in our world, you have to look pretty f**king great. That means nearly flawless skin, a nice natural-looking tan (if you're a pale vampire like myself), perfectly straight white teeth, and the cut up ripped gym bod. Alas, the irony is that I too am trapped by these constraints, for I will immediately veer or be attracted to those Adonises myself, but am left feeling very mediocre when stupidly comparing myself to them. What a terrible unhealthy emotional vicious cycle really. I often feel like I'm not doing enough to look like this, and am angry that I wasn't blessed with super awesome Ryan Reynolds or Chris Evans genes. Those dudes are just gorgeous and I am super jealous and envious yet have to acknowledge that besides being naturally good looking they have worked hard for their bodies. It's all about looking like an Abercrombie & Fitch model basically. HOW ANNOYING! These hot-as-hell gay dudes won't give mere mortals like me the time of day unless they're high or something.

Now don't get me wrong. I don't think of myself as ugly at all, for I do think I hold my own. I'm pretty slim, but fairly toned. Got decent masculine facial features. Many claim I have a very Eastern European look, which is kind of flattering because Czech and Hungarian porn is big in the gay world. LOLOL! I have a cool personality for the most part which doesn't please some people, but can gel with about 80% of the population. I'm tall and well-endowed. AHAHAHAHA! Yeah, as crude and laughable as that sounds, that is a BIG plus in the gay man's world. Hell, don't lie ladies, you like a dude who has the goods too and knows how to use them, so it's a BIG plus period! But there I am, time and time again, frustrated by my own insecurities about not measuring up enough. How utterly sad and wasteful of my precious time. I'm fully aware of this. I haven't been to the gym in almost a year, and my diet is decent but could use a little more work to bulk up and add some 20 more lbs. of hot well-distributed muscle. Alas, the ads in magazines, on TV, on the Internet, just continue feeding into this ridiculous vain banal existence. Whenever I visit places like Valencia, Orange County, or local L.A. beaches, the reality of me not measuring up to these hotties truly hits me. Not only do I want those dudes badly, but I feel worse for not "measuring up". Or maybe this is just Los Angeles. Maybe this is the sick plastic world of L.A. Come to think of it, these fools ain't THAT good-looking right? They're probably just photogenic and cameras like them more than they do me!

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Those Adonis hot-as-hell men are not perfect, and their youthful beauty like us all shall fade someday, rendering them even more bitter perhaps at the cruel hands of time. But they sure as hell look like they're having all the fun in the world whilst young, virile, and universally adored. I want them, and yet I hate them.

And to end this post, here's a story that I'm finding very hard to believe.

WHAT SHOULD I TITLE THIS POST?

I'm behind on your blogs my friends. I promise to get to them a.s.a.p.

Well, not much of an eventful weekend, other than we took mom out to eat Saturday night to Black Angus. YEEHA! Some damn good food! Yummy! Filet mignon, rice pilaf, a nice big salad, and some potato skins! I was in heaven. Crème Brûlée for dessert too. Mmmmmmmmm! I ate so much, I looked pretty stupid afterwards.

Natural disasters are all over the news this week. Some really bad tornadoes have been hitting our country recently. China had a major earthquake just yesterday! The cyclone in Myanmar has killed so many thousands and the military junta in control of the country has shown how completely useless and uncaring they are. All the aid coming in for those desperately in need is not being distributed. A shame really. I freak out now more than ever, praying that we here in L.A. are not next on the earthquake map! EEK! My beloved city, on this ever-so-dangerous high wire of possible seismic activity! We can handle the moderate quakes here and there, but I really hope we never experience anything like a 7.5 or above. No water or power for a few days sounds very nightmarish. I wouldn't be able to blog! OMG! HOW HORRIFYING! You'd all be wondering what happened to me and my masterful blog would be on cyberspace hold! LOL!
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And because I just watched the Oliver Stone film World Trade Center, it only reiterated how being buried alive under rubble would definitely be a terrible thing. I'm surprised that I actually liked the movie. It didn't seem overly cheesy or corny at all, and was pretty well-acted. My sister-in-law Maggie Gyllenhaal is in it! I will try to avoid large buildings as much as possible and am pretty lucky to live and work in small buildings just in case they have to collapse! HA!

OMG! I got tickets to this event at the Hollywood Bowl! Liza Minelli is going to perform! The closest I'll ever get to seeing Judy Garland! HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

No quakes por favor. Keep it calm L.A. Thanks.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY GWYN AND MADGE.

I went to see Iron Man on Wednesday, and I liked the film, but could not thoroughly enjoy it because I had one of those real annoying headaches and it was pissing me off/ruining the movie for me. Robert Downey Jr. is great and handsome as always, Jeff Bridges is almost unrecognizable, and kudos to Gwyneth Paltrow. What has this bitch done to herself? They say she has Madonna's trainer or something, and I guess being married to the lead singer of Coldplay and motherhood is helping Gwyn because she is looking mighty good as of late. I never thought much of her back when she was getting started in Hollywood, but I think I finally am starting to see some sex appeal. Good for her. The audience was loaded with a bunch of buff/gymrat hottie white dudes with attitude. I want them and yet I hate them...

Madonna has the number one CD across America and just this past week announced her new upcoming world tour. Doesn't grandma get tired of all of this? She is relentless and unstoppable! Well, since I've never seen Madge live, I think I will do my best and make an effort to go see her at least this time. For those of us here in Los Angeles, our show falls on Thursday, November 6 at Dodger Stadium of all places. This should be interesting. I'm sure tickets will be an arm, a leg, and probably one eye; very very expensive but worth paying for at least once in this lifetime. I like Madonna. I always did, and I still do. So there. Oh! I got some cool footage here of a concert once held at Dodger Stadium!

In certain Hispanic countries, tomorrow is Mother's Day. My mother genuinely apologized this morning for her remarks this past week about my embarrassing faggotry, so I guess I can let go of my pride and take her out to dinner tomorrow night.

This disaster right here sounds so monumental, so horrific, so epic. Unfathomable.

TRANSVESTITES, CYCLONES, & VOLCANOES.

Over dinner Monday night, my mother had to ruin the moment by saying how horrified she was when our new tenant/roommate showed her pictures of himself in drag. She said, "Qué feo sentí cuando lo vi vestido de mujer," which translates to, "I felt horrible seeing him dressed up like a woman." I told my mother that although I myself, do not like to dress up as woman, that everyone has a right to express themselves or do what they please as long as they hurt no one. Then she had to go into the stupid ass topic she likes to bring up from time to time about whether being gay is genetic or learned, and she just HAD to question it once again. I dunno why I even bother discussing the issue with this woman; she makes me mental, and she pretends or just refuses to understand the concept. Then she has the audacity to say, "Si de veras quiere alguien cambiar, puede hacerlo pidiéndole a Dios, y yo tengo fe de que te voy a ver con una muchacha bonita y con hijos, porque quiero nietos," which means, "If someone really wants to change (their sexuality), they can do it by asking God, and I have faith that someday I shall see you with a pretty girl and you'll have kids, 'cause I want grandchildren." I was so offended/insulted and quickly had to halt my beloved mother's ridiculous statements by leaving the dinner table, and saying to her that she really had not accepted and was ashamed of me as a son, even ten years later after knowing the truth about me. I love my mother very much, but she obviously does not love me, and am very disappointed by her recent comments. Backward Hispanic ideas which make me wanna throw the whole entire ethnic group into a boiling pot of water really.

There was a massive cyclone in Southeast Asia that officials are saying has killed at least 50,000 people. I can't even imagine those immense numbers. There's also this volcano spewing ash in Chile, which is actually kind of cool when you see it in pictures. Almost looks like a nuclear war went off or something! I keep hearing how Hillary's just gotta step aside and concede the nomination to Obama, but do ya really think homegirl is going to give it up so easily? She's stubborn and will fight to the bitter end. This f**king campaign has been long enough, and I wish it'd all be over really! I'm on page 537 of Don Quixote; I have finished the first part and am now to begin the second part of the book which is another 600 or so pages long. Aren't you proud of me? Took me five months to get here! HEE! "To dream, the impossible dream..."

A good summary and awesome pics of the Bette Davis event I attended last week are to be found here.

¡HOY ES EL CINCO DE MAYO!

Just to make things clear, today is not Mexican Independence Day! It is the commemoration of a very important battle won by the Mexicans against the invading French forces in a small little town called Puebla back in 1862. This is the significance of el cinco de mayo, and somehow it has taken a life of its own here in the United States as yet another excuse to get drunk, party like crazy, and celebrate all Hispanic culture in general. For the real Mexican Independence Day, you have to wait till September 16, for that is when Father Hidalgo proclaimed in 1821 that the Spaniards had to leave after some 300 years of colonial rule. Of course, he was executed and a difficult war was fought, but finally los españoles were thrown out and Mexico became the independent southern neighbor we now have today. Well, the United States added some of that Mexican land in the Southwest too mind you, but all this history is for another day!

I didn't do much this weekend, except watch some TV, download more new music, and shop at the drug store. I really like shopping at Rite Aid, CVS, or Walgreens. Aren't those places really fascinating? Which one of them is cheaper anyway? I get a kick out of seeing all the toiletries they have for we humanoids. All the hair products, dental care, cold relief meds, vitamins, shaving accessories, etc. Yeah, call me crazy, but drug stores are endlessly neat to me. Now that I think about it, Target is probably the best drug store with the added bonus of all kinds of other cool things, because Target is generally very very cheap when it comes to personal care items. I mean, condoms are dirt cheap there! LOL!

I'm listening to The Flaming Lips a lot as of late and how come no one ever told me this band was soooooooo good! I love them! They are so weird, but so catchy! Kudos as well to a group named Of Montreal for their very kooky 60s sound. I watched this DVD of Elton John in concert back in late 2000 at Madison Square Garden and boy is it great. They got a better show than I did! Not that I didn't witness a fine fine show, but still! I also watched There Will Be Blood, and I had to fight to stay awake during certain scenes. A good film I suppose, but it tends to drag, and is quite a bizarre movie. Daniel Day-Lewis is just plain odd/psychotic in this film. He plays a very greedy cold and calculating oil tycoon that talks/sounds like Sean Connery. AHAHAH!

I wish ye a great week. Comment like mad please. Gracias.

BETTE DAVIS IS IRON MAN!

And so, my beloved bud, my cool co-worker, and I went to a special Bette Davis tribute last night in Beverly Hills, at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Samuel Goldwyn Theater! YEEHA! What an interesting night this was; all to celebrate the centennial of the birth of this acting diva/goddess. Just $5 to get in too! A DEAL! Well, if you don't count the price for parking. LOL!

Pretty good-sized crowd and lots and and lots and lots of hot older and young gay dudes! Gee, gay men there to honor a screen legend of Hollywood yesteryear? R U SERIOUS?! HA! In the lobby area, they had some of her memorabilia, including the Oscar she won for Jezebel. What pissed me off a bit was that there were no refreshments, except for members of the press. How f**king rude! I was really craving a smoothie or nachos, but had to keep in mind this wasn't the local AMC theater. That slight annoyance aside, the host for the evening was Robert Osborne, whom you've probably seen introducing old films on Turner Classic Movies. He had lots of great anecdotes and plenty of film clips were shown like All About Eve, Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?, Dark Victory, Now, Voyager, and The Star. Intermixed with all of this were special appearances by Davis' son Michael Merrill, actress Gena Rowlands, and actress Joan Leslie.

The highlight, the ABSOLUTE apex of the night by far though, was the surprise appearance by Olivia de Havilland, who is forever immortalized as Melanie Wilkes in Gone with the Wind! WOW! This old broad still looks terrific and she's almost 92 years of age! The crowd roared and stood up when she suddenly came out from the side of the stage. My co-worker hilariously remarked that he could not take his eyes of her very big breasts and very meaty legs! AHAHAHAHAHA! She shared with everyone great stories about Bette Davis, then left the stage triumphantly with yet more thunderous applause. A major cast member from Gone with the Wind that is still alive is quite exciting to witness I tells ya.

The overall consensus from almost everyone was Bette's fiery feisty temper. She was a perfectionist, stubborn, demanding, and took her craft seriously. Yes, she could be a royal bitch! Of course, I think you all know by now she didn't much care for Joan Crawford, and yet the irony being they did make that one classic film together. Overall, a really cool night where I learned lots and got to watch film clips that peaked my interest, especially this one movie I now really want to see called The Little Foxes; this one clip they showed where Davis just maniacally sits there cruelly letting her husband die of a heart attack without helping him. That scene was terrific!
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Madonna's getting criticized in this article for being old and dancing all over "Hawk Nose" Timberlake just this past week in New York; I actually find people's disgust/comments about her pretty funny! And my boy Robert Downey Jr. is getting rave reviews for his performance in Iron Man which opens today!

I told ya before, Robert is an acting genius who never disappoints, and I really wanna see the movie now.