I bought my first ever water pipe (bong) ladies and gentlemen! It's a cute little glass thing, and very efficient. Yeah, I'm tired of smoking that tobacco (AHEM) with dem small portable pipes, because it burns and doesn't deliver the stuff as effectively. Amen. I know my beloved highly conservative anti-drug bud was upset at me for this, but it's not like I'm snorting coke or doing meth for crying out loud! I mean, I don't drink alcohol or smoke cigs at all really--my once or twice-a-week habit is perfectly under control! The wonders of nature's herb man! Yes, I know it is still illegal, but I'm not growing or selling the stuff, so get off my back! I suppose there will always be people against Jane, Mary and I guess I understand because there are those who truly do abuse the stuff and are always baked and retardedly stoned, but I am not like this at all, and know when and where to use it occasionally and truly sparingly. Incredibly, pot doesn't make me stupid at all. It actually calms my anxieties tremendously, makes me very cool, honest, and highly creative! I could write a novel or a song on that stuff if I set my mind to it! The best thing though is to get laid, eat some good grub, listen to music, then just relax. And stand-up comedy routines and jokes in general become wittier and funnier when high. HONEST! Being sober all the time sucks balls. It is mighty stressful and uncomfortable to have to face life without the help of this wonderful enhancer! I don't worry about bills, my failed career, or my skinny arms when I'm stoned! And movies/TV in high definition are amazing when under the influence! THE COLORS MAN!
Madonna went on an Italian cruise with her young virile Brazilian model boyfriend, and brought along her two African adopted kids and Lourdes to celebrate her 51st birthday. Way ta go Madge! I'm all for it. My one gripe though is: WHERE THA HELL WAS ROCCO?! You see, Rocco is the only fully white Anglo child Madonna has! He should be in these pics/article as well, but NO! No sign of the Ritchie boy at all! Was Guy Jr. caught up with school? Maybe his dad didn't want him to hang out with all those non-white people! LOLOLOL! I'm a bit concerned to be honest! I have to say though that Lourdes is growing up to be a mighty fine pretty young lady, and looks very much like her mother, only with that strong Puerto Rican side that Madonna could never achieve, despite all the Spanish motifs in her songs and sh*t. I can't wait to see what will become of Lourdes. Will she become a pop star like mommy? Or a real fine actress, unlike mommy? LMAO! Time will tell. And dem adopted black kids! MY GOD MAN! What will they be like when they grow up?! This will only get more interesting! I hope to live long enough to see the progression of all this earth-shattering excitement!
Everyone else at the Joan Rivers Roast was hurling insults left and right (some were truly great and funny), but it was Gilbert Gottfried that masterfully told a riveting story and whom I believe was the most hysterical of them all. This Jew is a comedic genius--he calls Kathy Griffin SWAMP THING?! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Hilarious: