Tuesday, August 18, 2009

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I HAD WRITER'S BLOCK.

I bought my first ever water pipe (bong) ladies and gentlemen! It's a cute little glass thing, and very efficient. Yeah, I'm tired of smoking that tobacco (AHEM) with dem small portable pipes, because it burns and doesn't deliver the stuff as effectively. Amen. I know my beloved highly conservative anti-drug bud was upset at me for this, but it's not like I'm snorting coke or doing meth for crying out loud! I mean, I don't drink alcohol or smoke cigs at all really--my once or twice-a-week habit is perfectly under control! The wonders of nature's herb man! Yes, I know it is still illegal, but I'm not growing or selling the stuff, so get off my back! I suppose there will always be people against Jane, Mary and I guess I understand because there are those who truly do abuse the stuff and are always baked and retardedly stoned, but I am not like this at all, and know when and where to use it occasionally and truly sparingly. Incredibly, pot doesn't make me stupid at all. It actually calms my anxieties tremendously, makes me very cool, honest, and highly creative! I could write a novel or a song on that stuff if I set my mind to it! The best thing though is to get laid, eat some good grub, listen to music, then just relax. And stand-up comedy routines and jokes in general become wittier and funnier when high. HONEST! Being sober all the time sucks balls. It is mighty stressful and uncomfortable to have to face life without the help of this wonderful enhancer! I don't worry about bills, my failed career, or my skinny arms when I'm stoned! And movies/TV in high definition are amazing when under the influence! THE COLORS MAN!

Madonna went on an Italian cruise with her young virile Brazilian model boyfriend, and
brought along her two African adopted kids and Lourdes to celebrate her 51st birthday. Way ta go Madge! I'm all for it. My one gripe though is: WHERE THA HELL WAS ROCCO?! You see, Rocco is the only fully white Anglo child Madonna has! He should be in these pics/article as well, but NO! No sign of the Ritchie boy at all! Was Guy Jr. caught up with school? Maybe his dad didn't want him to hang out with all those non-white people! LOLOLOL! I'm a bit concerned to be honest! I have to say though that Lourdes is growing up to be a mighty fine pretty young lady, and looks very much like her mother, only with that strong Puerto Rican side that Madonna could never achieve, despite all the Spanish motifs in her songs and sh*t. I can't wait to see what will become of Lourdes. Will she become a pop star like mommy? Or a real fine actress, unlike mommy? LMAO! Time will tell. And dem adopted black kids! MY GOD MAN! What will they be like when they grow up?! This will only get more interesting! I hope to live long enough to see the progression of all this earth-shattering excitement!

Everyone else at the Joan Rivers Roast was hurling insults left and right (some were truly great and funny), but it was Gilbert Gottfried that masterfully told a riveting story and whom I believe was the most hysterical of them all. This Jew is a comedic genius--he calls Kathy Griffin SWAMP THING?! AHAHAHAHAHAAAAA! Hilarious:


10 comments:

sttropezbutler said...

Couldn't agree more about pot. Who cares, and imagine if it were taxed in CA and the US of A. Might end the IOU's a tad sooner no? And as for sex and pot...a fabulous combo!

I thought the Rivers Roast was a tad sad, not sure why.

Have a great week WAT!

STB

RG said...

Screw the "water pipe" - invest in a vaporizer. Although I must say, it's not too portable.

Love JR - the biggest Hag EVAH!

A Lewis said...

Shame on you, Mr. Potato Head (no, wait Mr. POT Head!). ...I'm kidding. Couldn't care more....as long as there's no addition or health issues. I do have a buddy who smokes it regularly and has developed a lovely, consistent sore throat every single day. As for me? I've only done it twice in my life...within the same week, and it did nothing for me. Today? Can't do it....drug testing.

J.A.S. said...

Gilbert really is the man!

Conclave27 said...

Sad how the article on Cannabis attempts to justify itself with historical use. If you used that logic, there is a ton of other narcotic substances as well used as aphrodisiacs and vision types purposes.
India and China, two cultures with extensive Herbal Sciences have explored various compounds and is nothing new. Sadly the article you discovered has limited knowledge on the sources of THC, which can be found in a variety of other substances.

Well IMHO you were way cool before you discovered "you" medicine... and the statements you made really do make it sound like a crutch.

I only two things two have to say....

http://www.slatev.com/index.html?bcpid=533275934&bclid=307719337&bctid=979073728

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgJdVEoVbgg&feature=player_embedded

mkf said...

fuck the critics--you get that much simple bang for the buck outta pot, then you should just smoke and fuck your skinny little ass off, and to hell with all of 'em.

me? all pot does is make me hungry and paranoid--i smoked even half as much as you, i'd be, like, 300 pounds and crouching in my basement with a tinfoil hat, warding off the black-helicopter aliens.

thank god for the relative sanity of alcohol.

yoichi5 said...

I guess I'm just really old fashioned. The once-in-awhile smoke I have is always hand rolled. Not as efficient, but it works.

Gavin Elster said...

Dear Lord Gilbert is a genius! Hope all is well neighbor!

Urban_Underclass said...

Weed is positively beneficial in moderation. Everything you wrote about it is true.
I'm a musician and when myself and my bandmates have a joint before getting down to work, everything goes smoother, whereas if there's drinking involved egos quickly get out of control.

alice said...

I truly believe that we will live to see "the mighty weed" legalized. The leanings have been more left each year, and with the medicinal values touted, the decisions will be justified. And I say, it's about time. Being a child of the sixties, I did my fair share of toking on the bong (kudos for your choice of paraphenalia (sp?)in getting the most enjoyment out of the herb...), and my habit (?) was always recreational. I would pass the doobie at parties and very occasionally buy a joint to share with a friend. There will always be individuals who abuse any practice.... drinking, eating, whatever. That does not diminish the merit that the more moderate person can receive from it. If you pay attention to your health, I say use it, as long as you receive positive results. I have no long term nasty effects, forty years after the acts.