I had an upset stomach on Tuesday and now I have some sort of allergy/cold and one of my teeth is in severe pain that comes and goes! Sensitive tooth?! DAMN I HOPE IT ALL F*CKING GOES AWAY! ARGH!
Yeah, I was pretty sad to hear of Elizabeth Taylor's passing, but the gal lived a good full amazing life, so it's bearable. We all gotta die one day and poor Liz was terribly weak and sick and in lots of pain so it was time. 79 years old. Not a bad run at all for one of the most famous women in history. I'd blogged about Liz before hereand here. A great heart and soul and EYES to die for of course! R.I.P.
The reason the Japanese were hit by that massive quake is because they are being punished for their perversions! I'm kidding of course. Did the Japanese invent the Fleshlight? I'd like to buy one of these contraptions and try it out. Hey, the life of a single man is tough ok? And then a bud of mine points out these hysterical masturbation toysthat WERE invented in Japan. JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER! LOL! I had seen them recently at the local sex shop but truly had no idea what they were until he explained it all to me this week. Mighty tempting! And then there's this thingthat looks like some sort of device one would use in outer space! AHAHAHAHAHAH! All I need now is an astronaut suit, a helmet, and I'm ready to be launched in a rocket to the moon with my sex toy...
This blog post is short, but sweet. Let's look back at the once stunning Elizabeth! Yep, that's her late best bud MJ singing:
Long week at work, but all is well I suppose. Another video clip follows for you kids. Hope you enjoy! I started doing push-ups at work whenever I get the chance thanks to inspiration from my co-worker/friend Rivers, and I've gotten quite strong! I could barely do five when I first started last week and now I'm up to doing twenty in a row almost effortlessly! WOW! Muscle memory they call it? I'm even starting to look a little more toned, or is it my imagination? I know I'm eating a lot, and other co-workers are shocked by the amount of food I shove into my mouth--it's a combination of having a fast metabolism, stress, and the recent exercise I've been doing that is making me so hungry. Now I gotta get some squats and crunches into my "workouts" and I'll be on a roll. I've gained some weight too, which is great news for a such a lean dude like myself, but I'm also starting to see a bit of a gut, which is actually kind of sexy. LOLOL! Okay, watch this and tell me what you think:
I finally have a decent camcorder thanks to my new smartphone, although I'm learning that I have to keep my clips within a reasonable time frame in order to successfully upload them to YouTube. Ya see, in my own twisted warped NARCISSISTIC mind, I am a very smart funny witty important superstar individual with interesting things to say and talk about and I could go on and on and on like some long-winded Oscar acceptance speech. In reality, much of what I have to say is a bunch of baloney BS, but I want you to please watch and comment anyway. Please enlighten and entertain me just as much as I do you. Thanks! Oh yeah, this clip does end quite suddenly as I accidentally pushed a wrong button or something, but it certainly is a fitting parting shot:
he Fleshlight? I'd like to buy one of these contraptions and try it out. Hey, the life of a single man is tough ok? And then a bud of mine points out these hysterical masturbation toys that WERE invented in Japan. JUST IN TIME FOR EASTER! LOL! I had seen them recently at the local sex shop but truly had no idea what they were until he explained it all to me this week. Mighty tempting! And then there's this thing that looks like some sort of device one would use in outer space! AHAHAHAHAHAH! All I need now is an astronaut suit, a helmet, and I'm ready to be launched in a rocket to the moon with my sex toy... 
