Friday, February 24, 2006

"I WANT THE TRUTH!"

I’d like to understand just what is wrong with these people: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. Yeah. The most convincing madly in love couple in Hollywood!

Looks like Katie is now a Scientologist and is very heavily involved in that whole crazy cult thing thanks to her loving amazing stud boyfriend. And of course, she’s pregnant with Tom’s child which they no doubt conceived through normal hardcore sexual intercourse. Nope, Tom is not gay at all, and this relationship proves it! He was even on Oprah jumping up and down the couch showing off how overwhelmingly in love he is with good ole’ Katie!

Frankly, I’ve never been a fan of either of these two dolts. Tom’s movies are pretty forgettable, and I remember Katie back from Dawson’s Crack with her God awful character, cheap storylines, and annoying acting. Frankly, she was the only one on that cheesy program I wanted to punch in the face most of the time.

But let’s not be hateful now. I wish these two the very best, despite the break-up rumors, Tom being gay lies, and every other little thing us envious evil celebrity gossipers are saying. And joy of joys, an artificially inseminated baby is on the way too!

I mean, er, um...

I really hope Tom Cruise doesn’t sue my poor broke skinny ass.

8 comments:

G-Man said...

They deserve all of the "celebrity gossip" that comes there way. They are of that breed of celebrity whores who will use the media and papparrizi when its for their own good. And seriously, who needs to profess their love that badly at a red carpet event? I haven't seen a relationship this concocted or ill-convincing since Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie!

Great post!

Bill German said...

i love the guys from the creek, i love most of tom's movies. i would rather have sex with katie than tom. scientology has good intentions but show me the money. as for tommy being a little fag, who gives a fuck.

Christopher King said...

Dude that's hilarious. My film crew, who know how Hollywood really works, and I laff about the "cruiser" and Ms. Holmes all the time. Many of these relationships are contrived, anyway.

What is not contrived, is my reality legal short films and the actions of the NAACP in the Northeast:

http://christopher-king.blogspot.com/2006/02/how-portland-naacp-screwed-rory.html

Christopher King said...

PS: I would f*ck the sh*t of out Lisa Marie, and Katie though =^.)

I doubt I would face much competition from Eddie Murphy these days....

lasiciliana.blogspot.com said...

hey WAT! First of all- I LOVE that you are rocking that picture of Brokeback Mountain on your blog, that is the shit!!

Tom & Katie are like thee most irritating couple in Hollywood, I cannot stand their lame, weak ass shit. From Tom's gay-ass jumping around like an animal to Katie's really raunchy feet plastered all over magazines (in open-toe shoes,I might add) they are just WRONG!! In my personal opinion, Tom would be much happier rolling with John Holmes & until he rectifies himself he's gonna continue to reck himself!

Mario said...

I haven't really followed this story, but I highly respect both Tom Cruise and K. Holmes as artits. They've done some amazing movies. Tom: Top Gun, Mission: Impossible, Magnolia, War of the Worlds, and, most notably, Kubrik's brilliant last movie, Eyes wide shut (he also produced the great "the others"). Katie: the ice storm, pieces of April, the gift, wonder boys, batman begins. And would do T. Cruise any minute, or every minute for a week. But he's taken...

Marko said...

I think Tom is an exceptional actor but hes gotten awfully wierd lately. I like Katie I think she has potential to be a great actress. I cant keep wondering how long this will last. They seem happy so more power to 'em.

ScottyFerguson said...

How long has she been pregnant? 16 months?
I'm thinkin demon.