Friday, May 11, 2007

ON THE NEXT OPRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Damn man.

I'm a bit fascinated with Oprah. To be honest, I never really watch her show 'cause I'm at work when it airs, but as an entity, icon, and rich ass beatch I do find her utterly compelling. How does she do it?! She's worth one billion plus freakin' dollars man! That is astounding! I admire her humble poor abusive roots, and obvious determination in getting to the top. A most definite astute and powerful businesswoman indeed. A fine role model for many, especially African-American women, and females in general. Yes, Oprah, you are one admirable and influential chick indeed. Just look at the way those women in the audience scream, jump, and go insane for her at the beginning of one of her shows. She is loved and admired by women all over this country, probably even more than Hillary Clinton!

HOWEVER.

There's something strange with this woman having so much power and wealth! I've watched several of her programs and she comes across as real phony sometimes. She'll laugh joyously with or hug her guests, but I often wonder if she even means it! And everyone on there seems to always kiss her ass. OH GAWD! GIMME A BREAK! Of course, she speaks perfect English with the white people, but getz all Ebonics with her black peeps! Yeah, they all claim she's a humanitarian and gives lots of money, but she strikes me as someone who is really only doing it to give herself more publicity and eventually put more money in her own pocket. She's always hanging out with that annoying best friend of hers Gayle King too! UGH! Shut tha hell up both of you! And OPRAH made Dr. Phil a star, and God only knows why! That guy is irritating beyond belief! She even held that lousy creepy Legends Ball with all those rich/famous female black celebrities and had them all served/waited on specifically by white people! That smells of reverse discrimination/racism to me! I mean, even though I don't think Oprah is truly racist, part of me feels she still has some of that lingering disdain for white people due to the past ills of slavery.

Like Oprah cares what WAT thinks! I'm jealous. Jealous of her giant oogly head/face plastered on billboards everywhere. All that freakin' cash. Man! How in tha hell does she do it? What makes OPRAH SO GOD DAMN SPECIAL?! HMMM??!!


And that creepy way she yells and draws out all her statements: "TODAY'S SHOW IS GOING TO BE FABULOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!" --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
And the loser housewives just scream and yell even louder!


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oABBG26m7MU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oaG9LK_CUx4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtLt7wFrgKE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3cJH60oiwY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-6BHJGx-UCw

http://www.ihateoprah.com/index.php

http://www.jumptheshark.com/topic/oprah-winfrey-general-comments/1494

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeDnC7dJ78U

14 comments:

Minty said...

Of course, she speaks perfect English with the white people, but getz all Ebonics with her black peeps!

WAT. I am falling in love with you. I don't believe in love, but still.

This woman gets under my skin like shards of iron. I get that her humble beginnings are very sympathy-provoking, but she's certainly lost herself as of late.

I don't know if anyone could overcome being a jackass with the ego-stroking that she gets, but still... She comes across as pompous to me.

And, I wasn't as annoyed with her until she went to Africa, promised children that she was going to adopt them, and then backed out because she didn't think she could do it...which would have been fine if she'd not gotten their hopes up.

Jerk.

Great post, WAT.

--Minty

Gavin Elster said...

Oprah never helped me. She never lifted a damn finger to help me.



so she's a bigot in my eyes.

Sebastien said...

I really haven't seen much of her, but what I did see, well, she did strike me as phony. I think when you make that much money and you always have people kissing your ass, I guess that's when you kinda start thinking you are the greatest thing ever...

Christopher said...

...and how do you feel about Martha Stewart (the white Oprah...uh...sorta)?

Sebastien said...

WAT, I would love to hear your opinion on this video, my sister sent it to me, it's a Palestinean Mickey Mouse show that teaches kids jihad... I laughed so damn hard, although it's quite scary...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AY0zE64thJ4

Scot said...

That sign had such potential....
I though you were going to say she was having Martha Stewart in for a cooking segment: how to bake in industrial size ovens.

alexgirl said...

Hah! WAT you are too f*cking hy-larious. Oprah grates me too. "Hi, I'm wearing million dollar earrings, but I totally understand what it's like to be poor, because I was" (yeah, like 30 years ago.) Ugh, and the whole "white talk" vs. the amens and hallelujahs when she has black guests. so fake.
i dont' usually like mad tv, but that was some funny shit.

alice said...

I have to agree with you about "Opera"..... she is just too correct with everything she does, and each act of kindness or charitable donation has been witnessed and recorded by the media. I mean, if she is truly a humanitarian, she might give gifts without the accolades and attention. She is one of the few that has extended her 15 minutes to a lifetime, and she almost succeeds in making an opportunist look noble. Almost, but not quite.

sir jorge said...

Oprah is weird.

Rich, but weird.

I wish I was in her audience when she was giving out cars.

Pod said...

i suggest you get some great big pictures of you blown up to oprah size, the one of you poking over the poolside is perfect, and in the dead of night go and stick them over her face on the billboard, and scrawl WAT? over it. if i were there i would help you to do this

Emma said...

And that creepy way she yells and draws out all her statements: "TODAY'S SHOW IS GOING TO BE FABULOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUS!"

I love you, WAT. RIGHT ON THE MONEY, that has always driven me batshit.

molly said...

YES!
We are kindred spirits...the music taste was only the beginning...

you're one of the few people ive met that doesnt worship Oprah!
she drives me crazy! shes so fake and i can hardly watch her show because her EQUALLY ANNOYING audience applauds after pretty much everything the guest says

durante vita said...

I've always wondered why people are so eager to hate.

Prior to her use of insider information, why did people hate Martha Stewart? Because she cooks better than everyone else?

I hope people hate meth dealers, pedophiles, etc. more than they hate the Oprah's and Martha's of the world. If not, then, well, that speaks volumes of mankind.

Crazy Eddie said...

Oprah has done well (rich whore that she is) and it's well deserved. There are 30 wagons full of billionaire men across the globe and they don't seem to be dissected to the extent Oprah has...

As for her being annoyingly phony and shizz, I fully agree. Like 50 Cent said regarding Oprah and her fame, she has lost touch with average humanity and has reached the pinnacle of robot. All that money and the countless years she's been on the air has given her plastic skin. A faded out, black plastic layer .

I love Oprah.

Besos