Wednesday, May 30, 2007


Well, the other day my churchgoing old-fashioned mother came at me with something that almost made me laugh out loud.

Mom: "¡Dos muchachos en la iglesia dicen que salieron de sus cuerpos y vieron a John Lennon en el infierno!" --"Two young men at church said they went out of their bodies and saw John Lennon in hell!"

WAT: "¡¿Qué?! Yo no creo eso para nada. John Lennon no hizo nada para merecerse el infierno." --"What? I don't believe that at all. John Lennon did nothing to deserve going to hell."

Mom: "¡No, es cierto! ¡Dicen que lo vieron gritando y llorando quieriendo salir de allí!" --"No, it's true! They said they saw him screaming and crying wanting to get out of there!"

WAT: "No es posible eso. No creo en esas babosadas." --"That's not possible. I don't believe in that crap."

I mean come on! John Lennon in hell!? How dare they?! Mind you, my mother is not as gullible, but sometimes she falls for it--God bless her. She said she thinks his hardcore drug use and his remark back in the day about his band being bigger than Jesus might have sealed his fate, even though she was a huge Beatles fan in her day. Uh huh. O.k. Whatever. I'm sure lots of fire and brimstone Christians out there believe Lennon is partying with Satan, but it's a bunch of baloney! If there is such a place as hell, I would hope asswipes like Hitler, Ted Bundy, and Timothy McVeigh are there roasting away.

Not John Lennon though! He wrote some brilliant songs during his lifetime which brought joy and happiness to millions the world over, and continue to do so to this very day--a body of work unequaled in all of pop/rock music history. I mean, he was an activist for peaceful causes and social justice and was married only twice, having only two children. So he did drugs, BIG WHOOP! So he claimed his band was bigger than Jesus! O.k! Wasn't there a big public backlash, the burning of records, and an apology from John? And poor John got shot to death, which was hell enough--for him, his family, and fans the world over.

However, he did marry Yoko, and that should be reason enough to send anyone to hell for!

O.k. I'm just kidding.


"Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try; no hell below us, above us only sky." - John Lennon


Todd said...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. First you have to believe in the whole heaven/hell thing. And second, sounds like a wet dream for those guys. I bet they woke up with major boners. Fundamentalist wacking over seeing perceived sinners punished is probably common. "Oh yeah, burn in hell, you bad, bad boy.... oh yeah suffer some more so I can shoot my load all over your face and make you eat it."
And why Lennon? Why not Falwell? Christians don't even know their own doctorine when they talk of such things. There can be no hell, since there is no evil, which I learned in my painful philosophy class last semester. (Ok, that's just an idea, but it goes with proving a god exists.)

DARKNESS said...

Maybe I'll see him when I get there.

Preciosa said...

Uh yea I doubt John Lennon is in hell. Like you said it's reserved for the "asswipes like Hitler, Ted Bundy, Timothy McVeigh and Darkness." Well I added one. he he ;)

Gavin Elster said...

I can't get beyond "Two young men at church said they went out of their bodies..." What? Did they die? Why did they go to hell? What horrible thing did these two men do in order to leave their bodies and go to hell AND return with this as the only story? How old are these boys? Was Lennon the only one there? Was yoko there too? Was it the young John Lennon or the older one? I want pictures!

I want to meet these kids so I can smack em upside the head.

Zhu said...

Love this bilingual story !

John cannot be in hell. However, I know a Japanese lady who might end up there... :D

Where is your family from ? Mexico ?

Junk Thief said...

Have you seen the long profile on Paul McCartney in the current New Yorker? It's pretty insightful and not the usually glib celebrity piece.

molly said...

i personally dont believe in hell
and i dont think it says anywhere in the bible that thou shalt not take drugs
thou shalt not claim thoust is bigger than jesus

sounds like those kids need a shrink or something

Loren Soth said...

It's really true. Don't you people watch South Park? I bet those kids did too. I mean all the cool people go to hell... Ghandi.. Princess Di... Mother Teressa, Michael Landon. We all know only Mormons and Saddam are in Heaven....

Okay for you guys the "Visiting Hell" Phenom does happen as an out of body experience. Now there are some reasons why people visit hell:

1) God's warning them.. repent or you will end up there!
2) Not an out of body experience, maybe demon possession instead.
3)People have a natural or assisted chemical imbalance (drugs).

Now another things we must take into consideration is... demons lie. So they may have not seen John Lennon. 2) It could of been any guy with a beard and glasses. Did anyone say it was John Lennon? 3) Ummm... if there is a Heaven/Hell... I don't believe John's actions would warrent damnation. Especially from a pentacostal protestant group, which according to the Protestant flavor of the week... they are damned for not worshipping God the right way.....

Oo oo oo oo, yup they might be damned cause they are breaking the 10 Commandments.... they worship a book and Jesus! Yuppers friends... hardcore interpretation does state.. and Jesus said it himself "I am not, it is you who have said I am".

So they be busted!

Bill German said...

it was probably his love-in with yoko at the amsterdam hilton. That would send me to hell?

Palm Springs Savant said...

hey topic here, but wanted to say nice blog. first time here. also a jake fan btw. stop by and say hi sometime