Wednesday, April 11, 2007

QUEEN OF FRANCE, QUEEN OF PORN.

---------------------------------WARNING! THE FOLLOWING POST HAS EMBEDDED LINKS WHICH MAY OFFEND SOME SENSITIVE READERS. DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

This post is dedicated to two very important women in history! Well...sort of.

Marie Antoinette
was that most famous of French queens who lost her head after the angry poor had had enough with her lavish lifestyle/supposed uncaring demeanor towards them! Yeah, lemme tell ya man, that movie that recently came out, Marie Antoinette, was actually quite cool. Not big on plot, but what a beautiful gorgeous movie to look at; the day-to-day existence of the nobles and their problem-free lives. Excellent costumes (which did win the designer an Oscar), sets, and food visuals throughout the film. Sofia Coppola is kind of a bore, but hopefully growing as a director, thanks to the guidance of her famous Godfather director daddy, and this movie was indeed sumptuous to look at, to say the least.

Marie apparently never did utter that most infamous of lines attributed to her, "Let them eat cake." It was a tabloid thing created to rile up the French crowds and get them angry enough to start storming not just the Bastille, but the Palace of Versailles as well! Oh boy, did that sh*t work, 'cause it infuriated them enough to get the nobility out of there and onto the guillotine! Marie was just as much a victim I guess, for it wasn't her fault she was born into wealth in Austria and was forced to marry Louis XVI when the time came. She had an awfully hard time getting knocked up due to Louis' constant boredom and need of Viagra I guess. Man just couldn't get it up and they were both in a truly loveless marriage which eventually did grow into some caring, but eh. She did eventually bear him kids, but it didn't matter. The French revolted in a big way, and regardless of whether Marie said that condescending line or not, her head came off. The peasants/bourgeoisie was tired of dem haughty high-cultured well-off peoples while they had to eat rats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Her head came off as the blade swung down and into a basket Madame! How terribly sad! Mon Dieu!

In the modern era, a woman you may heard of and probably seen is Nina Hartley! Who is Nina Hartley you ask? Why, she's a very famous celebrated veteran porn star! That's right! YEEHA! Good ole'-fashioned American hardcore porn! Surely most Americans have probably seen her in some of her many many many movies in motels/hotels/and private homes across this great land showing off her really nice buttocks. Many have said Nina does have the best tush in the business and continues to slightly work in front of, "butt" mostly "behind" the camera--excuse the puns. She comes from the Ron Jeremy era of porn, and YES, did many movies with that nasty pig too. You may remember her from a couple of scenes in Boogie Nights, where she's just casually laying on the floor cheating on her husband (played by William H. Macy), as a bunch of guys just have their way with her. I often wonder if Nina was really just acting or actually having sex with those dudes! HAHA!

I remember seeing many of her films during the videotape era with lots of fascination and non-sexual curiosity at how this woman could so easily just have sex with just about anyone on camera and royally fake it too! It was fairly obvious--what, with the "OH, AH, OH YEAH, OOOOOOO, GIVE IT TO ME!" crap she'd utter time and time again. Yeah, yeah I would think. There's Nina again, being the fake whore as always. Damnit, she used to be registered nurse ya know, so she most definitely took her knowledge of human anatomy and applied it to her most famous discipline: sucking and pulling on tons of dudes and licking women left and right. My oh my. My brother Charles was a big fan, and ended up going to one of her public appearances/signings once. Even got a picture of himself holding onto her cheeks; those already very used and abused cheeks, mind you. Ahem.

Yes, from a French queen losing her head, to an expert porn star giving head.


Wow.

P.S. Check out my new blogger friend Junk Thief and his cool blog. Good stuff!

6 comments:

Scot said...

I've never unstood the stardom of Ron Jeremy. I guess it makes the straight guys feel better about themselves if a Danny Davito look alike can bang hot women and get paid for it. But I just don't get it. Like midget porn. Why?

Sebastien said...

Did you ever see that movie documentary about Ron Jeremy, chronicalling his life? He seemed like a very sad person.

Nina Hartley... I have no problems with her :)

Crazy Eddie said...

Nina Hartley is a naughty naughty woman. She has done lotz of shizz that frankly scared the crap out of my curious childhood soul.

Nina was also in Boogie Nights. She makes no apologies...

Missed ya

Besos

Bill German said...

ron jeremy makes me straight. squeal

Junk Thief said...

Being one half French, I've always had a thing/issues with Marie. Of course, she wax really faux French (a.k.a. Austrian).

I think the jeers that Sofia's take on Marie at Cannes were a bit over the top. The film's not perfect, but it's fun to look at. I was sort of mixed on the use of the early '80s soundtrack, but 50 years from now kids probably won't know the difference between Bow Wow, New Order and Mozart.

Thanks for the promo of the blog, Wat!

dave evanns said...

Oh yeah, Nina. Dear Nina. Those scenes in Boogie Nights crack me up, and I too wondered if she was really getting nailed in the bedroom scene or not.

And Ron Jeremy, my friends and I refer to him as the "hedgehog" of Porn. Nasty dude.