Monday, June 11, 2007

PARIS ISN'T IN SPAIN.

Paris back in the slammer was the best thing possible that could happen, because it seemed for a moment there that the whole country was about to take to the streets and riot had she gotten to stay at her mansion and party under house arrest! LOLOLOLOL!

I was pleasantly surprised by the tremendous overwhelming response to my post on Brian Epstein, the amazing manager of The Beatles. Thanks to all of ye who read and commented! I did forget to mention that poor Brian was not only wrestling with his homosexuality, but he also was a very sad individual, who would drown his severe depression with drugs and lots of covert dangerous sexual escapades. Sounds like a typical gay man to me I must say, but Brian was luckier in that he didn't face the horrid threat of HIV/AIDS or anything like that back in those days--not that it matters really, as the poor guy still left the world at 32 years of age. I'm very drawn to Brian though, and had I met him, I definitely would have shown him some love by having sex with him, cause he wasn't a bad looking man by any means, or it just proves I'm a promiscuous slut as usual.

And there I was this weekend watching this romantic gay comedy made in Spain called Reinas (Queens) about these crazy silly people all struggling with the newly passed law in España legalizing homosexual marriage. It was like watching a sitcom and kind of retarded, but an insightful film nonetheless; Spain looks truly beautiful. I dunno what tha hell I'm waiting for! I need to get over there ASAP! I mean, it helps that I speak the language already! I've already watched so many movies from this country that I know their speaking style/slang very well. Did you know that they already have the eighth (or ninth?) largest economy in the world? Dem Spaniards are doing pretty well! Madrid looks really hip and modern and fun as hell! And the men! OMG! These films are loaded with tons and tons of hot young Spaniards! I must go! Tengo que ir a la patria que me llama--I must go to the land that is calling for me. Would I love it enough to even consider moving over there? I often wonder.

I mean, I haven't yet been to Chicago, Miami, New York, Houston, or Seattle--but I sometimes feel as though living in the U.S. all my life (Los Angeles specifically) has been more than enough to give me an idea of this nation. What would it be like to live in another country I ask? It's a question that nags at me. If I can work on my travel anxiety and general fears, it would be nice to be able to explore more of the world and perhaps settle somewhere else for a while and live away from home. Maybe it would make me appreciate my home more, for right now I'm not liking my job nor my daily routine bore of a life; I feel trapped by my circumstances. I need money to travel don't I? And more than money, I need to face my fears, my panic attacks.----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My therapist over the weekend said: "You will have to get out of your comfort zone, feel the fear, and do it anyway."

I pray and hope that I can finally make my real dreams come true, after almost ten years of this terrible anxious prison.

13 comments:

Todd said...

Spain is one country I absolutely have to go to before I croak. I can sympathize with the travel anxiety. I hate flying, sitting in the cramped plane for endless hours.

M- Filer said...

Your therapist is dead-on right. It's the only way to push past the fear. It's a lesson for everyone. I don't experience your fears specifically, but I have my own and your post is a reminder to mix it up a bit...and not allow myself to become too comfortable.

Bill German said...

drugs and lots of covert dangerous sexual escapades, (sounds a lot like my typical weekend)

Leiselb said...

Hey just found your blog via Sebastien's....very interesting indeed! I'll be back...

molly said...

yess i saw the commercial...i was actually walking into the kitchen for some food during the commercial break of seinfeld and suddenly out of the corner of my eye i saw him. i screamed. and it was 10:30 at night and it woke my dad up.
but it was soooo great!

Zhu said...

Hey, if you need travel advices, anytime !

Spain is a great country. It's really popular in Europe right now because of its left-wing governement, open-minded arts (Alamodovar movies...) and relaxed way of life.

Travelling is scary. I'm freaking out everytime I live for a trip abroad, even when I travel to France. But once sit in the plane, the freedom ahead is more seductive than ever...

Christopher said...

Let me know when you're ready to fly to Espana, & I'll hold your hand on the plane...and anything else that needs holding.

Sebastien said...

I really hope you get to go to Spain! That would be such a wonderful experience, I've been, and I loved that country... very attractive people living in that country too!

Maybe someday you can find a way to work there for a year, find some sort of job, any sort really, and just have fun. The only problem is leaving everything behind, I think we realize everything we had only once we've lost it!

Junk Thief said...

If you go, just remember to lisp. I'm going to Barcelona in November, technically not a part of Spain these days, and am very excited.

I've held off on seeing Reinas since the trailer looked pretty hokey, but it's a great cast.

sarissa said...

hey! i've been to spain 19 times for 6 weeks every sumer and weekend breaks and everything and it is just the BEST PLACE in the world! i've been all over it, and i love it, but some areas have become completely taken over by british tourists who think they discovered it! takes the piss, they havent even lived there like some of us, lol! go there anyway, it rocks!

Scot said...

I would have to agree with your shrink. You can always bring your panda bear along; she'll help you through it.

Pod said...

fear not young man! you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. i think the philosphical giraffe has a message for you....

Preciosa said...

You and Paris have something in common.... "promiscuous sluts". he he

Seriously, I know you will fulfill your dreams... you will know Spain.

Abrazos!!