Monday, December 01, 2008

"WAS A LONG AND DARK DECEMBER..."

Hey. I'm having a lame few days here. Please hold my hand. Tell me it will be okay. I'm sick of the bills, the job, the commute, grooming myself; of the enormous task it takes just to keep myself afloat in this individualistic society. Ya ever feel like ya just wanna throw in the towel and just give up? Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, I'm just overwhelmed/exhausted. I'm sick too. Strep throat I think. My ears itch like mad. Gotta visit the doc in a bit to see what they say, but I feel crummy.

I had all of last week off, and to be back at work today is soooooo lame. Yes yes, grateful to have a job, yada, yada, yada...Everything bugs me/frustrates me right now, except when I'm just hanging out lying down watching TV or just casually listening to the radio.

Enough about my lame whiny skinny ass. What's bugging you?! Don't lie, unless your life is truly blissful, which mine right now just isn't.

It's the holidays isn't it? This is what has me feeling so annoyed. One more month and 2008 is gone for good. At least gasoline is cheap, relatively speaking. December, please be kind to me.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

How about donating your time to starving people in africa, adopting a kid in south america for 24. a mohth and dumping some mashed potatoes into a homeless persons plate this xmas. It might make you feel better!

Gary said...

Life is full of ups and downs. The downs make the ups that much sweeter.

It is great that you are venting and expressing yourself. I will gladly hold your hand (and groom you if need be) until you are feeling better both mentally and physically.

M- Filer said...

I'm with you WAT. This is the hardest time I have ever experienced post sobriety. It is fucking scary. I have never felt this insecure about the future. I have NO MONEY!

I feel like running off the monastary to meditate and peel carrots.

Todd said...

Man, don't get sick! It'll make matters worse. I'm in the final two weeks of the semester, papers to write, projects to finish and no sleep until dead day.
That is what's bugging me.

Conclave27 said...

LOL.... seriously donating time to starving people in Africa or feed the Homeless? Only thing I can say is blow up Africa and Soylant Green!

WAT... things will be better, if you need someone to hold you hand find someone. I think you need to have a special someone in your life to balance out. You've been single way to long... was it not more tolerable when you had someone there to hold you? Maybe that what your missing in your life. That stable person who can provide hope and stuff... that person who can be there for you, and knowing that despite everything they are always there....

Bill German said...

drink plenty of fluids(ahmmm), take 2 aspirins, and dont forget to gargle(?)

alice said...

I'm sorry that you are not feeling well. When you are sick, the absence of seratonin becomes more acute and it's almost impossible to get happy. And I think you feel more vulnerable and alone when you are not physically strong. Just keep telling yourself that it's temporary. When you are not feeling so ill, the optimism can return and everything will not look so hopeless.

I understand people feeling insecure right now - these are scary and unstable times - especially economically. I have to believe that is temporary too.

Hang in there, sweetie.