My cousin has a serious stomach condition back in the old country and I am genuinely worried about her. Patrick Swayze has that shitty pancreatic cancer, and last I heard, Farrah Fawcett was being treated in Europe for her ailment. Money nor fame can guarantee good health nor immortality. We're in a deep recession here with the cost of living continuing to spiral out of control. I sometimes wonder just what the God damn point of all of this really is? Most of humanity is simply struggling to survive! It seems like such a constant neverending daily battle; they drive like maniacs on the freeway, our technology gets better, yet our health and moods have only gotten worse. I'm puzzled to be honest. Scratching my head at all of life's unfair and annoying circumstances. Were it not for my hedonistic pleasures such as sex, food, music, laughter, animals, love, friends, some family, and good sleep, I think I would have hung myself already. It's a wonder more of us are not crazy with all we have to put up with really. And yet, more people seem to be snapping than ever before, going on senseless mass shootings! I feel the world is truly mad. I'm crazy and have my issues, but it's so much worse out there. There are good humans, but the mad and truly insane are in a race to take us all with them down the drain!
Are all men truly created equal? No. Apparently not. Some of us struggle more than others, some of us die younger than we should, etc. There's still plenty of racism, misogyny, homophobia, greed, hunger, and malice towards others. We no longer accept what we were brainwashed with for centuries as truth. Marriage, religion, and government are no longer sacred nor held in the high esteem as they once were. We have the choice to change our lives and do with them what we wish, but DO WE TRULY? DO WE TRULY HAVE THE POWER? DON'T U FEEL MORE AND MORE LIKE A CHESS PIECE ON A BOARD BEING CONTROLLED BY THE POWERS THAT BE?! The daily job, the daily commute, the daily fucking routine! More people are thinking twice about having children in this very frightening world and upset at seeing where it is headed. Humanity has faced all these issues before, and there is nothing new here nor truly revolutionary to really be surprised or shocked about, except that it's on a much larger pervasive scale now than at any other time in our history/existence. Drug and alcohol abuse are rampant; who's really happy amidst the angst of just simply being? Maybe it's just this shitty Bush Administration! LOLOL! Save us Hillary or Obama please!
Why am I here? What is the point? I'm surviving alright. Trying to be a better person and show kindness where I can, but not letting all of this make me jaded or cynical in the process although it is very hard and it may be too late. I find humor in some of life's most God awful tragedies, only because it is the only way I can cope without breaking down and being sent to the institution like Britney. I'm sleeping fine, I eat well, I enjoy living, but not without the constant reminder that something is missing, something is out of balance, and that I feel helpless in not being to do a damn thing about it. Life is grand, but life is pain. Pain. Just keep living folks as best as ye can. I'll be okay I suppose. I'm not in any way suicidal or devastated. Just pondering really; all ridiculous absurd distractions to keep our minds busy till we croak/drop dead one day for good. There is a God right? I often feel there is, but then I doubt and feel guilty for it. Life on other planets? Or are we the only losers around?
Is this the way it really is all supposed to be?