Monday, March 31, 2008


This was a very atypical weekend. Excuse me if my writing is all over the place, but it's what's going through my mind at this dreadfully late hour when I should be asleep!

I've been a bit depressed and upset at life. It sucks to be gay at times. Heteros can hold hands in public, make out, and get married and have children. I suppose we gays can all do the same exact things in a way, but not without facing mocking comments or general disdain from the overwhelmingly hetero populace. Little things such as this issue were bringing me down. I'm also kinda mad at my neighbor for being so provocative the other n
ight and teasing me, so I had to get him back by giving him my phone number written on a note pasted to his driver's side mirror. Yeah, of course I'm flirting with him, but also getting my revenge, as in "You bastard, you have the nerve to show off and get me all worked up, well here's my number, let's see what a real man you truly are." Of course, I don't expect him to ever call, although I have seen him as of late and he does still say hi. But I prolly scared him off. Well he started it, if you read my last post!

Went to the doggy park with my beloved ex yesterday afternoon. I love me that puppy of his. So cute, so sweet, so adorable. There were other nice funny puppies at the park today, but I adore Mr. Patrick Berrenger. Amazing how one comes to truly love dogs, especially the ones one lives with or sees often. Yeah, I'm a sucker for dogs what can I say? I like cats too I suppose, but there's something about canines that melts my heart. They really are intelligent emotional creatures and they're quite funny looking. Deformed really, but that's what makes 'em so lovable!

I just got home not too long ago from a night out in rainbow-friendly West Hollywood and had a blast hanging out with my two friends, although it ended a bit odd in that I saw one of them snorting coke and the other one revealing to me that he's been doing it here and there. Who am I to fucking judge, as I love my buds and all and I got my own issues trying to quit my psychotropic med, but to realize so many gay men are doing these hardcore drugs is very sad to me and I almost wanna hold/cuddle with them and tell 'em it's gonna be o.k., that life is not that terrible that one needs to do all these drugs and alcohol. Yeah, tell that to moi who depends on his prescribed med to keep the anxiety in check. We all have issues right? We all have pain, angst, fears, and baggage. People leaving WeHo tonight looked pretty fucked up/plastered.

I feel pretty good right now actually. It helps to write coming from the heart. I was talking to one of my good buds on the way home with my cell phone stuck to my left ear and then I come home to read this article. That's just swell ain't it?!

Comment all ye can friends. I love you all for taking the time to even read my bullshit.


Anonymous said...

I love my hubby!!!!

Hang in there, sweets... xoxox.


Lewis said...

You should have been here in Portland when the city tried to rename one of our streets to Cesar Chavez Boulevard! Outrage. Upset. It didn't happen. Yet, anyway. But, I have to say, we've renamed several other streets. So it may not be far behind. And, you are so right, that it sucks to be gay once in a while....but I'm sure it probably sucks to be straight too....who knows.

Bill German said...

invite your neighbor up to your place for a beer.

Projekt R3volution said...

You and your cell 2003! Get with the times and get one of those bluetooth headsets that annoys everyone because it looks like your talking to yourself! I have to admit got me one, only really use it in the car or talking in the privacy of my apartment. Actually pretty convenient. After June, cant hold the phone while driving anyways!
Sorry your a bit bummed out lately. Maybe the neighbor will call! If not you could always get one of my world famous funshine enemas! People seem to need those things by the case load lately!

Gary said...

Wil, I hope you feel better after letting go of some of these issues by putting it into words. I have felt the downside of being gay as described in your post - it is unfair to have to deal with prejudice but things are really progressing. Maybe when being gay/lesbian becomes a non-issue then some of the self hating behaviors you described will also lessen. Dogs have the right idea, they don't judge. They love unconditionally and I have a great love for the puppies out there.

As for the cell phone issue. My friend is trying to sell me a chip that attaches to the cell phone to block bad rays or whatever. I think she is kinda nuts and has been taken in by some scheme but can she be on to something? Discuss...

Nothing but trouble said...

Cesaer Chavez, don't you mean illegal immagrant day? That evil man basically made slaves of his people in the agricultural industry by continuing to allow these bottom feeders to still work in our agricultural industry! Look at where we are now becuase of this....recession.... yes folk do some research and see how the immigrant problem has happered the U.S. economy!

On a happier note. Yes the doggy park is tons of fun. Matter of factly I went there with my ex too!
WAT you should really do a tell all on this bum you tossed aside.
Why are you still hanging around with your ex?

M- Filer said...

I think YOU are so fucking adorable. And I love it when you write from the heart. Even if it's depressing as hell and ruins my day.

Not really.

phd girl said...

You people with supposedly normal blogs have it so easy. Everyone mocks my blog and predicts it will never last!

phd girl said...

Happy Cesar Chavez Day

don't be depressed.

Darci said...

My darling Fake-Brother-In-Law,

The difference between those who snort coke and people on mood-altering medication is that taking the latter is usually not a choice, but a necessity for those with chemical imbalances, whereas the former is just exercising one's privilege to act an idiot. There's also the whole legality issue of course, which is a no-brainer and doesn't need spelling out. Nothing against your buds, I'm sure they are fine people, but...I dunno. I just have no tolerance for people who use "recreational" drugs. It not only ruins (or possibly ENDS) their lives, but it destroys the lives of everyone around them as well. It's an exceedingly selfish choice to make and anyone who thinks they can keep it under control is fooling themselves. Sorry but that sort of thing gets me really worked up. And if I were to find out any of my own friends were partaking, they'd get an earful from me, because I love them and want them to live. And I DON'T want to hold their heads over toilets or wipe up their vomit while they have bad trips...or worse.

*rant off*

Well then. On a cheerier note...uh...well...there is no cheerier note today, sorry. Luvyameanitbye! :-)

Darci Downer

LBIC said...

Awe, I love dogs. I have a puppy and she's named Llora (It used to be Yoda but Llora fits her better) and she's adorable. Really attached to me but I don't mind. Bitch is fierce.

That being said, hope you feel better after venting out your frustrations online. It certainly helps me when I've done the same.