Monday, March 24, 2008

THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES.

Lemme tells ya, these prunes really work. I'd been a bit constipated for a while there, but eating at least five prunes or so a day as of late keeps me nice and regular. That almost sounds like a Metamucil commercial or something.

I'm not religious at all, due to the constant hatred and damnation to hell going to Protestant Christian church brings forth regarding homosexuality, so I try and avoid it at all costs, no matter how much my mother insists I should go. My brother's ex and her family are strictly Catholic, and his daughter (my niece) was baptized and stuff this past Saturday at the local church nearby. My mother, girl cousin, and myself agreed to go in order to show our support, even though none of us are Roman Catholics, but one must keep an open mind and it was all done for our precious little 10 year-old.

Little did we know unfortunately, what was in store. Not only were they going to be baptizing people, but it was also a big time Easter Saturday kind of service, so the mass was going to be pretty long. Outside of the church, they lit a bonfire and handed out candles to everyone, but my mother politely declined and caused two young women in front of us to give her dirty looks. Of course, mom made it worse by saying, "Ya conozco la verdad" which translates to "I already know the truth anyway." Yeah, that didn't go over too well, and the women gave her worse looks which spread to my cousin and me. My cousin was mortally embarrassed, and my mouth went off with, "Who cares what those beatches think!" Oh my God. Needless to say, the looks by then were pretty harsh and could've killed.

As for the service? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. We only made it an hour into the ceremony and had to leave. Thank God I'd taken my car, or else my brother would've had us trapped there for the next two hours that it still went on. My mom and cousin were very happy to leave and we went to Denny's nearby to restore our drained energies. My brother was upset the next day we left so early, but we at least made some effort right? SHEESH! WHATEVER! Yes, Pope Benedict's pic was in the church lobby, and he's got these very psycho demonic creepy eyes that unsettle me. No offense to any Catholics out there, but MASS is a BORE!

Speaking of the Pope, he baptized a leading Italian journalist who used to be a Muslim on Easter Sunday and it got lots of publicity, which will now put his life in serious danger with the terrorists! As is, Bin Laden threatened the Pope just last week, and now we have a lifelong follower of Islam converting to Catholicism calling his former religion violent and dangerous? EEK!
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Religion is so lame and exhausting. I mean, truly.

11 comments:

Bill German said...

i no longer believe in god or the bible or anything. It was all just a fairy tale. How do you explain evolution?

d. chedwick bryant said...

Not only is religion lame and exhausting, it also causes all kinds of bad troubles!

personally, I find it annoying when family members who have joined some born again cult, er church ...
just HAVE to remind me every so often that i am going to hell because of my open-mindedness etc...

loren soth said...

Ever tried going to a gay friendly church? I know of several in your area where you can be part of a loving spiritual community.

Maybe that is what is missing in your life, a sense of fellowship.
Cough... cough... only if there was someone to go with. Someone who has mentioned this many times before...cough.

mouse (aka kimy) said...

religion and dogma are lame and exhausting, but being open to spirituality and mystery is a totally different matter.

I've been a recovered catholic for 3o+ years, it took a long time for my family of origin to accept my worldview (and beliefs) after 20 years they finally quit giving me grief because I don't believe the way they do....

Todd said...

You pointed it out with the hateful looks your mother received. Christians are supposedly suppose to love everyone and be understanding. My experience with Catholics has always been decent compared to the many, man AG cult followers around here. Those people are scary, scary, scary. Not only do they bad mouth nonbelievers, they bad mouth other AG churches. It's all about hating everyone and taking everything they can since the road to heaven is rough and you need a Hummer to make it.

LBIC said...

I agree about religion. The last time I went to church was for my cousin's baptism. Everybody there was so hypocritical which I guess is the theme for religion.

J. David Zacko-Smith said...

I'm a recovering Roman Catholic - so I can very much relate. Oh . . . and PRUNES RULE! My grandma swore by 'em. Bravo, bravo!

durante said...

It doesn't seem wise to swear off religion all together. I think religion has its place. I think its important for overall health and good to hold onto in times of struggle.

I'm not very religious, and I'm trying to figure out what I'm going to do in the near future to handle that.

durante vita

Marko said...

It is exausting, great post!

alice said...

I am a Christian (wait... don't hurl things at me....) and I am in no position to judge anyone else. I have enough trouble trying to be a better human with the people I encounter. I don't believe anyone on this earth is qualified to say she is right and he is wrong, or he is going to heaven and she is not. But I will tell you that when I am experiencing trauma or "normal" life struggles, it's comforting not to feel so alone.

brad hart said...

As a an agnostic raised by a pack of feral catholics, I am not to concerned about if the pope gets whacked by terrorists. I am not really a fan of Christianity and even less so of Benny. I also have an environmental problem with catholics, the more of them there are the more resources they use and the more they pollute the environment, one less catholic especially to balance out all the new ones he is advocating the faithful breed, is a good thing.