Friday, June 05, 2009

CAN MY SMARTPHONE GIVE ME A TAN WHILE IN AUCKLAND?

I see people everywhere now with dem Blackberry and iPhones, and I'm insanely jealous! I want one! Mind you, it isn't really something I must have and have lived without nicely up to this point, but they look so damn cool! ARGH! They're also a bit expensive and paying that ghastly amount month to month sickens me. I guess I will continue to hold off on a smartphone for a few more years, until everyone has one and the prices come down a little more I guess. Technology has come a long way and it is an amazingly wonderful enhancement to our lives, but a lot of these gadgets and stuff are really not necessary. Lord knows I'm already hooked to the Internet as it is at work and home, and I'm checking my cell phone text messages constantly; to add one of these very neat awesome smartphones to my life would only complicate things, if that makes any sense? BUT DAMN I WANT ONE! And I'm a Sprint subscriber with my basic cell phone; tomorrow ironically, they come out with the Palm Pre, which is supposed to be the most incredible smartphone yet! I'll bide my time, and wait to see what the next few years bring...

I got one of these fake spray-on moist towelette tans on me. I apply it to my whole body after a good exfoliating shower before bed; makes me smell like maple sugar oatmeal or something to that effect, due to that chemical they use. Not bad, but a bit too orange and streaky in certain spots, but overall I look okay once it settles in after about three hours. At least I'm not as pale anymore. Not that I look horrible pale, but adding a little colour to my skin makes me look betta ya know? Yeah, this is SoCal man! One must look like one has at least been to the beach every day, even though I think I only visit the beach here once every two years or so. I'm Latino, but I happen to be very white, which shocks and confuses certain people sometimes. Imma cry racism man! Latino janitors, car washers, and fast food employees all think I'm some English-only gringo due to my pasty complexion! There's no way I can speak Spanish according to many, even though ironically the first explorers/conquistadors to come here were white Spaniards. Go figure!

You wanna live in a peaceful and beautiful country? Time to move to New Zealand baby! It was rated the most tranquil of all nations in a recent study. I knew it looked cool and all in those Lord of the Rings movies.

Oh joy, it's Friday! Time to celebrate with a recent and quite hilarious Saturday Night Live skit:

11 comments:

RG said...

iPhones - go to the Apple Store online and buy a refurbished iPhone for almost a 1/3 of the cost. You get the same warranty as a brand new one. So go get teched baby.

And btw, just how Latino are the Latinos in LA? I mean really! I take one look at you and I KNOW immediately your Latino. C'mon. And for the record, you're not pasty or pale in skin tone - I'M pasty and pale in skin tone. In fact I'm so pale, that I have a hard time distinguishing where my white socks stop and my legs begin, mkay? Now THAT'S Pale bee-otche!

I've tried that tan-in-a-can stuff on my pale ass. I found out I was allergic to the preservative in it too so it's like, "Oh look here comes RG with his fake orange tan and a funky rash all over his body!" Good times. LOL Needless to say, I didn't get laid that week.

RG said...

Oh and one more thing, tan or no, you're an incredibly handsome and sexy man and if I lived in LA, I would do you in a heartbeat.

Gary said...

You put this on and smell like maple sugar oatmeal and wonder why you have ants crawling on you in your bedroom?

A Lewis said...

So, if we slept together, it'd be like sleeping with a bowl of brown sugar oatmeal? I'm gonna have to think about that one.

Conclave27 said...

See Magda from "Something About Mary" Nuff Said......

There was nothing wrong with you... that is nasty... like make up for your whole body. WOW... I would never let anyone stay lver with a fake tan..leave all this residue on my stuff....ewwww. Sorry but is seriously bad....

Bill German said...

i cant even read the blackberry screens with glasses on

Palm Springs Savant said...

I have to admit I am addicted to my blackberry. that little red flashing light makes me respond like Pavlov's dogs

Eddie said...

WAT buddy, every time I visit your blog I find that you're a guaranteed laugh for me. I enjoy you tremendously. I think you and I would get along really well if we ever meet.

As far as this whole phone shebang, I have to fully agree with you. Everyone around me are completely addicted to their cells/smart phones and it's rather pathetic. Sure, I can purchase one, but I find them completely unnecessary. My phone lies somewhere between the old and the new, and I'm content.

Can you believe that I have the same spray tanner you pictured on your post? I use it when I find that my frickin' arms have gotten tan and my chest hasn't as much. I'll spray my chest a bit and smear it in quickly and immediately wash my hands so that I don't get orange crazed out palms. It works in an emergency. There's nothing like natural sunlight. You also get your vitamin D...

Sorry I haven't been around WAT baby, I missed you terribly.

Besitos para siempre...

PS. RG is one horny bunny. He comes across a Latino and simply can't help himself. I cannot imagine what he would do if you and I visited him at the same time. LMAO. He's the best...

Pod said...

hello watty! how's it? i lived in NZ for three whole years by the sea. it was stunningly beautiful and quiet. we had orcas visit twice a year, but it was too too peaceful ultimately. maybe when i'm 60.....

RG said...

Eddie - what would I do if you and WAT visited me at the same time? Oh the mind reels from the possibilities. But let's just say, each of you would get a turn holding the camcorder Mkay? And each of you would get a turn with other things as well - multiple times.

And thanks a lot for putting the image of you and WAT naked, taking advantage of me in my mind - I have to pitch against the Los Diablos today and ALL OF THEM are fucking cute - bastard. LOL

Ladrón de Basura (a.k.a. Junk Thief) said...

I've a a Palm Treo for three years without any complaints and am considering getting the Pre. I also have an iTouch, essentially an iPhone with everything but the phone for about nine months and it's proved to be a $300 paperweight. I have to reload the software several times a week to make iTunes work which is extremely annoying.