Friday, July 03, 2009

I DON'T FEEL SO FREE THIS INDEPENDENCE DAY WEEKEND.

F*CK BEING GRATEFUL TO HAVING A JOB AND F*CK THE NEED FOR A NEW ANTI-DEPRESSANT! These ridiculous lame statments are said by conditioned people to rationalize and continue in the endless vicious cycle/trap of our f*cked up system and boring monotonous lives!

This week at work has been so depressingly hellish. My one extra day off every two weeks has been removed due to my poor attendance (thanks to my continuing anxiety/depression) and I got more paperwork to do now than ever before! I'm sure my enemies are rejoicing at the bitter news! My morale is so low right now that I could care less about my financial responsibilities here to be honest, and I would gladly quit work and fly out to Spain with the money I do have to take an amazing one month vacation to forget L.A. I rue the day I ever had to become part of the working world! I realize I have never been happy having to answer to any of these bogus people in authority, and working for others on their time/schedules is akin to losing my soul! Everything else in my life goes along quite smoothly except my lame choice of making a living! I ask God for guidance, for the way out of this tedious miserable situation, like perhaps giving some of the people I dislike at work a good heart attack or stroke, so I can at least wickedly laugh and enjoy their much deserved pain and suffering. Yes, I can be a real evil cold bastard, but only when pushed to such a demoralized degree--I can only imagine the millions who feel trapped by this shitty slave system of endless bills and taxes. To thee my sympathies, and here's to a better fairer more just system in my next lifetime I suppose, or until I find the job that works with me, instead of against me! UGH!

My poor stomach is shot to hell, and I got the next three days off with no set plans other than to get stoned when I get the chance to maybe alleviate my emotional pain and make my tummy mellow down a bit so I can eat in peace. What a joke! No wonder alcohol and drug abuse are so rampant! People are so trapped by many different circumstances and desperately looking for ways out of this sh*t. And then there are those who snap and go on killing/shooting sprees! BOY DO I GET IT NOW, MY GOD DO I EVER! The media and others are quick to call these dudes cowards for spraying so many with bullets, but what do we really know about the misery these people are feeling and how they were continously pushed by some horrid assholes to the brink?!

I'll try to enjoy the hot dogs, fireworks, and all the other phony American pride bullshit this weekend. I most definitely can't wait till Monday morning once again:


11 comments:

Conclave27 said...

Only thing I can say is "Maw". I am sorry that the pencil pushers there have got you down and stuff. As it it is a hard knocked life, but look it at this way.. the sun will come out tomorrow. I bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow there will be sun.
However, I am sorry to say this but you need to find yourself a sugar daddy or just be a trophy boy to someone. You need someone to financial take care of you so you can pursue your artistic endeavors. You no what that means... buy buy to family and friends and hook up with some rich schmoe who you will have to be monogamous and faithful too in return for his patronage. You will just learn how to be a Courtesan.

Or you can buy a doggie Ranch in Idaho and take care raise Labrador retrievers. Maw

RG said...

WAT baby, I'm scratchin' those lottery tickets as fast as I can!

You know, you can always come to Boston if you decide to pull a nutty and just not go back to work. Lord knows you'll get a break from the heat! Plenty of rain here although I don't think the lack of sunshine will do your mood any good.

However, on the upside, I would make sure that you were well taken care of for the entire time your here.

yoichi5 said...

I've often wondered about that crap. We're on the planet a few years and most of the time is spent with our tails between our legs, trying to please someone else so we can shop at Walmart. I don't get it.
That's why I went back to school, I suppose. Of course there all I do is jump through hoops for the professors, but at least I'm building up enough ammunition to go out and kick some society ass and live my life the way I want. (And that would be as a punk artist whose middle finger is permanently stuck up in the air...)

Gledwood said...

Just my fucking luck. I try to play that vid and "an error occurred; please try later" in other words utube is maxxed out

was that jennifer anniston or just a lookey likey? I dare not look and try & comment AFTERWARDS... I might get thoroughly terminated!!

o yeah... what now anxiety depression what bastards are doing that to you? can't you sue them for disability discrimination?

Bill German said...

I love your BRUTAL HONESTY. great post

Gary said...

Well...

It seems to me that you are in need of doing something (that will not harm you or others!) that will once again give you the feeling that YOU are in control. A trip to Boston (RG) or NYC/NJ (me) would not be a bad idea, perhaps.

Life is a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death. Don't fall into that group!

WAT said...

Gary: Don't worry love, I won't hurt anybody.

NOT YET.

You are a smart wise man who chose a career he loves. Here's hoping I can break free from my chains soon...

M- Filer said...

Well I was just thinking that I should check in on WAT cuz it's been a while...and not a moment too soon! I feel for ya, feeling trapped is the worse feeling there is. FREEDOM is what it's all about. I hope you find yours.

M- Filer said...

Did you get tickets for "This Is It" show?

Palm Springs Savant said...

Hang in there WAT. What you need is a weekend of relaxation and debauchery in Palm Springs. There are some great hotel deals in the summer. Lets plan something and we can all have drinks together!

alicein1derland said...

I'm so sorry that you are made to feel miserable by some power-tripper at work. When you are unhappy at your job, it colors every aspect of your life. I really hope your week-end was fun enough to lift your spirits.

Hang in there, sweetie!!