F*CK BEING GRATEFUL TO HAVING A JOB AND F*CK THE NEED FOR A NEW ANTI-DEPRESSANT! These ridiculous lame statments are said by conditioned people to rationalize and continue in the endless vicious cycle/trap of our f*cked up system and boring monotonous lives!
This week at work has been so depressingly hellish. My one extra day off every two weeks has been removed due to my poor attendance (thanks to my continuing anxiety/depression) and I got more paperwork to do now than ever before! I'm sure my enemies are rejoicing at the bitter news! My morale is so low right now that I could care less about my financial responsibilities here to be honest, and I would gladly quit work and fly out to Spain with the money I do have to take an amazing one month vacation to forget L.A. I rue the day I ever had to become part of the working world! I realize I have never been happy having to answer to any of these bogus people in authority, and working for others on their time/schedules is akin to losing my soul! Everything else in my life goes along quite smoothly except my lame choice of making a living! I ask God for guidance, for the way out of this tedious miserable situation, like perhaps giving some of the people I dislike at work a good heart attack or stroke, so I can at least wickedly laugh and enjoy their much deserved pain and suffering. Yes, I can be a real evil cold bastard, but only when pushed to such a demoralized degree--I can only imagine the millions who feel trapped by this shitty slave system of endless bills and taxes. To thee my sympathies, and here's to a better fairer more just system in my next lifetime I suppose, or until I find the job that works with me, instead of against me! UGH!
My poor stomach is shot to hell, and I got the next three days off with no set plans other than to get stoned when I get the chance to maybe alleviate my emotional pain and make my tummy mellow down a bit so I can eat in peace. What a joke! No wonder alcohol and drug abuse are so rampant! People are so trapped by many different circumstances and desperately looking for ways out of this sh*t. And then there are those who snap and go on killing/shooting sprees! BOY DO I GET IT NOW, MY GOD DO I EVER! The media and others are quick to call these dudes cowards for spraying so many with bullets, but what do we really know about the misery these people are feeling and how they were continously pushed by some horrid assholes to the brink?!
I'll try to enjoy the hot dogs, fireworks, and all the other phony American pride bullshit this weekend. I most definitely can't wait till Monday morning once again: