I thought for sure I was going to have an amazing Thanksgiving weekend, but it was not meant to be. Sure, I had a nice family meal, and got to hang out with some friends here and there. But somehow, my mind could not stray away from negative/pessimistic thoughts about my life and worth in general. My levels of frustration, irritability, and hopelessness at times were and continue to be strong, and this is not good. I need a new happy pill or two or three. A new job for sure. A new sense of worth. A handsome wealthy bastard to take care of me for a bit? LOL! Oh, Lord. People are supposed to have all this figured out by my age correct?! I don't understand...I really don't and it sucks. Yesterday I could not get myself out of bed, and this is happening more frequently. I don't care about Tiger Woods' accident or his marital problems. He has lots of moola, and it helps tremendously to help deal with many of life's curve balls, so STFU already about him. He is obviously successful, something which I am frankly not. Anyway, pray or wish me well, or whatever it is you do to send me good/positive energy. Please do understand I am not trying to be a victim here or garner sympathy, but the level of despair I feel is real and profound and I would not want to wish this on anybody whatsoever. It does not help that I am very much into someone as of late and cannot get over them as easily as I would like to either. ARGH! At least my HIV test came back negative last week. Something to cheer about right?
I did watch a very good 1933 film called Dancing Lady starring Joan Crawford and Clark Gable. This was well made and fun to watch. Franchot Tone (Joan's second husband and the man Bette Davis wanted and hated Joan for), was in the movie, as well as cameos by the Three Stooges and Fred Astaire's first major film role. I love old movies, and this one was certainly entertaining and fascinating, and looked damn good on DVD.
Anyway, there were some moments of true fun and glee at least this past weekend, as evidenced by these photos: