No Palm Springs for this New Year's weekend. My BFF's boyfriend is really sick and cannot host us. I'm a bit bummed, but I'll live.
It's too bad 2009 did not end on a truly high note for me. The year started off decently, and has emotionally gone downhill the last few months. So it goes. Life is tough sometimes. I sure damn wish none of us had to suffer or shed tears, but we must bear our circumstances and ask for strength and patience sometimes. My depression/anxiety can be strong. I feel worthless. Unloved. A failure. Super unmotivated. I just wish someone would hold my hand or give me a real strong hug and say, "It's gonna be alright." And truly mean it. And then take my hand and guide me as to what to do next. For I can be weak when making certain decisions and taking control.
But ya see, I'm not worthless. I do have value. Tremendous worth as a good awesome citizen of this world! And I'm not unloved, for I know I do have people who care! And I'm not a failure, because I have survived this long, and still truly believe within my soul that my true greatness is yet to come! I have never achieved anything in life right away or instantly. I've always had to patiently wait until the light bulb goes off in my head to tell me it's time to go for the gold. SO NO DAMN IT! I SHANT give up on my own greatness, on my true potential, on my abilities to love and be loved! NO SIREE! For I hold a candle for 2010 to be the breakthrough year for WAT! No more tears! No more fears! Risks aplenty! And joy abundant! I will conquer as much as I possibly can. Please root for me, send me good vibes, pray, or wish it so. I need all the positive energy I can get.
To ye reading these words, thanks again for stopping by, and most especially to those of you who comment. I truly appreciate you visiting this blog about a simple guy like me, living in this great plastic cesspool of Los Angeles, CA.
A really great song about another year gone by with wonderful YouTube images, done by the now defunct and once brilliant group from Spain, Mecano. Happy New Year everyone: