Thursday, March 08, 2007


Spanish is indubitably, one of the great and most spoken languages on Planet Earth. I, your professor, want to make sure you know what to say, just in case you ever find yourself in these situations!

I mean, you just never freakin' know! Some universal phrases for you, if perhaps the need ever arises! With an easy-to-follow audiocast and fun read-along transcript below!


1) I swallowed my gum just right now trying to stick it in.
-Me tragué el chicle ahorita tratando de meterla.

2) Hey Michael, your mom is kinda hot.
-Oye Miguel, tu mamá está algo buena.

3) Stupid ass, that's my mom you jerk-off!
-¡Pendejo, esa es mi mamá cabrón!

4) It grows every time I see you.
-Crece cada vez que te veo.

5) Once upon a time, there was a man with three legs...
-Érase una vez, un hombre con tres piernas...

6) I prefer you use my microphone.
-Prefiero que uses mi micrófono.

7) My buttocks itch after a while.
-Las nalgas me pican después de un rato.

8) I have something to confess. I was born Victor, but now you know me as Victoria.
-Tengo algo que confesarte. Nací Victor, pero ahora me conoces de Victoria.

9) You're what?! Pregnant?! Where the hell is the vacuum cleaner?!
-¡¿Estás qué?! ¡¿Embarazada?! ¡¿Dónde diablos está la aspiradora?!

10) Usually, I'm afraid of snakes, but not of yours.
-Usualmente, le tengo miedo a las culebras, pero no a la tuya.

I know, I know. Invaluable info!

Till next time...
-Hasta la próxima...


Elizabeth said...

Got to make sure Alex knows #3 fo sure! he he I'll use #10 on your bro. ha

Latin Lover (loves latins, not a latin who loves. Sorry, white guy here.) said...

I'm at work, so haven't listen to the language lab tape yet. Meanwhile, will have to learn # 4 and 5 for Friday night, and I think I heard #10 already....

Sebastien said...

Hahaha, these are freakin' classic! Love #2, great one, but they're all funny...

You should post lessons like this every once in a while, help us improve our Spanish!

M- Filer said...

God Spanish is sexy! I want to get me some Spanish.

Crazy Eddie said...

Numbers 4 and 5 are my favorite.

I can always count on your lessons WAT baby!



Christopher said...

I hope to be able to use #10 real soon!

Thanks for teaching this 'pocho' !

Mario said...

God, how did you come up with this??? I can't stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

do you talk about other things besides mexicans and Spanish... its swelling my lymph nodes.

you might want to change your blog to "enrigue inglesias now"

Gavin Elster said...

I can use two of those phrases RIGHT NOW!
Thank you.
Oh... and now that Mark at MP has done his Audiocast I guess its my turn to copy you.
I can only speak bad valley english and pig latin so my audiocasts will not sound as sexy as yours.

WAT said...


It's not my blog swelling thy lymph nodes!

You're just infected with a nasty case of syphillis! Please get to a doctor pronto!

Sincerely concerned,


Marko said...

Enrique now...huh?!


I loved those WAT!

Lorie said...

This reminds me of our favorite high school Spanish class creation - Hay una fiesta en mis pantalones...y te invito.

Dave Evanns said...

WAHHAHAHAHA - those are great! I need to write those down. I agree, you need to post more of these "need to know" phrases.

Been a while since I commented, glad to be here!