Wednesday, September 26, 2007

DOOMSDAY COMBO # 1 PLEASE.

UGH! As I type this, there's yet another global warming show on The History Channel! I hate to say it. I really hate to say it, but: IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE! WE'VE RUINED OUR PRECIOUS PLANET FOR GOOD! Keep on trying to do your individual part I suppose, but we are royally screwed! I guess there's no choice but to start having Roman-style orgies and eating copious amounts of Taco Bell! FART all yer pains away like I am amidst this terrible set of glacier-melting events befalling humanity at this time.

Did you know that the Aztecs foretold their own demise? Hell yes they did. They saw their white-skinned God Quetzalcoatl (The Plumed Serpent) returning from the East one day. Lowe and behold, who lands on the shores of ancient Mexico in the 1500s but white-skinned smelly Catholic disease-ridden Spaniards! EEK! Aztec mythology was right after all, and in no time, their amazing empire fell. Alas, long gone but never forgotten, the Aztecs gave the world chocolate, tomatoes, and one hell of a fascinating read in the current book I'm checking out about their conquest called, Visión de los Vencidos or The Vision of the Defeated. It's a bit of a sad read, but nothing a rich strawberry milkshake with whip cream and a cherry from Carl's Jr. can't help alleviate.

And Lord Almighty, just what tha hell was that slimy president from Iran doing here in America besides maybe enjoying some delicious greasy artery-clogging McDonald's french fries? Why did Columbia University even invite that grinning creep to speak anyway? He was royally insulted by the president of the college mind you for being a Holocaust denier and war instigator, but yet he can just smirk his ass off in TV interview after interview and portray himself as a loving kind peaceful man. BOLOGNA! This guy is bad news and well on the way to inviting war with the U.S. and Israel over his country's nuclear program. He's so laughable, as when someone questioned him on gay rights and torture in Iran and he had the nerve to say that his country had absolutely NO gay people. Yes, 'cause y'all kill them! WE'RE GOING TO WAR WITH IRAN! YOU WATCH! The signs are all there! Imma need some finger foods from Jack in the Box to cope!

Weather changes, upcoming war, terrorism, the hated dorky American president, the devalued American dollar, etc. The world is in deep caca! I'm going to become a singer/songwriter that sings to happy-sounding tunes with depressing lyrics! Oh wait, Morrissey did that already! SHOOT!

I'll need to stuff my face with a Whopper with cheese no pickles from Burger King in hopes that this beautiful fast food world is truly not at its bitter end.


9 comments:

LorenSoth said...

That's why I say kill people. Kill your enemies now and get this miserable life we live in over with. Our country is a hypocrasy, and laughable, I'd spit and burn the American if that piece of cloth meant anything anymore (Stars and Bars all the way!).

Just move to Canada.... the Great White North. We can't save the planet becuase no one really cares. The only way that can happen is if someone took over the world. If Hitler won and the stinky Jews died.... there probably wouldn't be global warning. The holocost didn't happen cause the Jews are still around... just like the so called Armenian Genocide. I admit that the Nazi experiemnted on them and only killed a measely million or so. Remember they're Christ Killers!

The President of Iran is right on many things. LALALALALALALALALALA Jahayd!!!

Gary said...

Jack in the Box is still around?

Todd said...

Yeah, tell the bitch that came within 2" of running me over with her Hummer that the world's in trouble. Does she care? No, she only cares about her hair color and clothes.

I guess eating all that fast food will kill you off fairly quickly so you don't really have to worry about the state of the world, unless you believe in reincarnation, then you're going to be screwed when you come back.

Calista*Was*Here said...

Global warming issue, we cannot stop it anymore.
We just can be more aware of it and find piece of peace for ourselves.

Aztecs, as many other ancient people are not around anymore.
Lesson?

I wander why don't you arrest Ahmadinejad while in America?!

Do it now, later will be too late.
(Saddam case)

Pod said...

the roman orgy idea could work, but Wat, i read in the sunday supplement that cow farts have done more damage to the atmosphere than cars and such, and one scientist said it would have more impact on the environment if we all went vegetarian instead of buying smart cars.
henceforth i am unsure as to your suggestion of farting the pain away.
i would, however, gladly fart on that guy
;0)

Junk Thief said...

Ahmadinejad could pass for my cousin Sheldon. He's also homophobic and grins as he makes ridiculous remarks. He's not a Holocaust denier but denies he's Jewish. He also denies that there are any homos in our family. Uh, I can remind him of that summer when I was 13 and he was 24...

molly said...

youre right...its wayy too late to do anything to save us

but do you think if people keep trying to end global warming (ha!) they can maybe slow it down?

Gavin Elster said...

In the movie "Q: flying serpent" Quetzalcoatl lives on top of the Chrysler building. Somehow that makes perfect sense.

durante vita said...

I try not to eat the fast food. I grab Subway between work and school. But I'm sure it is just as bad because I allow the cheese to be placed in the sandwich as well as the mustard, mayo, vinegar and oil.

But I feel like I'm doing something healthier than eating at Jack in the Box. That is what is important.