Tuesday, September 04, 2007

THIS HEAT WAVE SHOULD'VE MELTED ROB ZOMBIE'S MOVIE INTO OBLIVION.

SWEET MARY JANE! We've had about six days or so of really intense heat here in L.A. Us poor folk in the San Fernando Valley always have it the worst though, with temps daily in the last week in the 100s. One day I think it even got to 113 degrees. Good God man. This heat is enough to melt one's soul! And if nighttime is supposed to be a relief, well good luck; it only goes down to the 90s or 80s. Pretty muggy, miserable, and sweltering.

Every year I feel the heat waves we get here are getting worse, and this year is no exception. This is Phoenix/Las Vegas weather man although I guess I have to remind myself that Southern California is really a desert after all. Whatever bitches! We had almost no rain this past winter! Wait till those winds start a'blowin' in October! Yer nice little house in the hills next to all that dry brush is gonna go up in flames! EEK!

Other than the fact that we got ass cheek-melting heat going on right now, Labor Day Weekend was purty cool. Y'all gotta watch this really cool suspense film on DVD starring the good-looking Wilson brother Luke called Vacancy. It was well done! Pretty creepy and an effective horror film without all the gore and brutality. Speaking of slashed necks and bashed-in heads, the new remake or retelling of Halloween was HARRIBLE! ABSOLUTELY APPALLING! Rob Zombie's own take/version of the John Carpenter 1978 classic is shockingly laughable; nothing but an exercise in gore with cheap acting, crude unnecessary cussing, a terrible white trash backstory, and terrible pacing! The young crowd clapped at the end (prolly since they don't know the difference between shit and shinola), but old geezer me was really missing the Jamie Lee Curtis version. Carpenter's film is a classic; a low-budget perfectly acted little teen slasher movie with some of the most excellent horror music ever composed! All hail the original Michael Myers!

At least we got free movie passes for our next visit thanks to my bud complaining to the theater manager that some in the crowd were being disruptive, which they actually were. So, no harm no foul I suppose except that I kept fidgeting in my seat during the showing stupidly hoping someone would replace the current version with a copy of the original instead. I'll have a tribute to the original Halloween sometime in October I suppose. The new version didn't even feel like it took place during the Halloween holiday to be honest. That's how lame it was.

And I finally saw The Omen, 31 years after it was made! A bit cheesy, but still effective! Way ta go Damien! I'd heard about this sick evil brat bastard for years, and finally got ta see what the fuss was all about.

Now it's time to watch The Omen 2006 remake and be disappointed huh?

8 comments:

Todd said...

Rob Zombie is a total white trash director. I knew Halloween would suck.

You've never seen The Omen... wow.

Christopher said...

I saw the new Halloween movie on Saturday myself...sorry for making all that noise in the theater...and I have to agree with you about the original being much better...did you notice that the entire cast from "The Devils Rejects" were in this movie?...must've been in their contracts.

Gavin Elster said...

Dear God I knew Halloween was going to suck however I didn't think it would suck that hard.
I think he has a deep seated issue with women as every woman in this film had to crawl for their life at one point or another. No men crawling just the ladies. His foreshadowing was very predictible and laughable. I dont like the fact he missed the point of the first Halloween film. Its about Laurie not Michael!

I guess he left room for a very predictable sequel opening. Since this was the champion of this weekend Dimension will call for a sequel and how much do you want to bet that Michael is not under that mask in the opening shots of that sequel.
SNORE!

Gavin Elster said...

Rob Zombie is a self loving tool who should stick to music.

Pod said...

plus jamie lee is an hermaphrodite
beat that rob zombie
i saw 'host' the other day. a korean horror film. it was a bit lame, but someof the photography was cool. maybe worth a wat watch on a hot and sticky night.....

durante vita said...

It has been very hot. What have you been doing to keep cool?

At home, we run the A/C, all the time, and I fear the upcoming electric bill.

Loren Soth said...

The Omen.... that was a funny movie. Damien is is just one of those kids on Ridilan. Darn ADD.

A scarier movie is John Carpenter's the THING! Now that gave me some nightmares. Also "The Invasion of the Body Snatchers" 70's remake was creepy as well.

Unfortunately since most of us are desensitized it's rather hard to come up with a good horror flick....

So what other movies do you have in store for this Halloween. I heard Kujo is fun, that dog from the Omen gets it's revenge.

Children of the Corn (Middle America that is scary on its own) is another good series. Then again abything with Tom Hanks or Haley Barry..... ooooo that's is scary. Especially how they murder the art of the Thespian.

Junk Thief said...

Aw, poor baby, you have my sympathy. We had a pleasantly warm (upper 70s) Labor Day in SF, and it's been pretty close to perfect so far this week. Sometimes we get the same heat when it hits down south, but so far we've been spared, at least in the city. The Mission is sort of the San Fernando Valley of SF weather wise, and when it's hot here, we're always the hottest. But at least people in Southern Cal have heard of that great invention called the air conditioner that no one in SF seems to have heard about. They do come in handy now and then. When it gets hot here, I hang out at Safeway all day hoping no one notices that I've been hovering over the display of snow peas for eight hours.