That's bloody right! It's me! John FACKIN' Lennon! Y'all still remember me of course!? I left this dimension long ago, but have come back in spirit to check up on things around here, and my God they're not looking good at all! What tha hell is wrong with you people?! At least you finally managed to convict O.J. on something! China is a rising superpower I see; all those delicious young Asian girls!
You Americans have one stupid president! Wow! I cannot believe it! I used to butt heads with Richard Nixon back in the 70s, but this prez is ten times worse; as laughable as any song Ringo tried to write for the group during our heyday! HAHA! Sorry Ringo old chum, just teasing ya. I love ya lots. Man, what happened to Paul? He looks like a melting wax figure at Madame Tussauds! YIKES! Aging has not been kind to ya McCartney! I give ya credit though, 'cause you still can write quite a tune, even though the young kids are now more into the hip-hop than your sh*t. Careful marrying another golddigger again you DAFT fool! Linda, George, and Brian say hello! This is a happy carefree place indeed. No worries, just eternal bliss amongst other cool souls that once inhabited Planet Earth. We just don't care about race, sexual orientation, or religion here like you fools below!
I cannot believe how bad the planet is doing; apparently all that breeding, reproducing, and carrying on by humans has created quite a strain on the resources/animals/plant life and now you guys are dealing with some sh*t called global warming? What tha hell is that?! And there's a hole in the ozone layer too? Damn! I missed my chance to write awesome songs about these ills apparently! You guys have new diseases, more greedy politicians, endless wars, terrible natural disasters, increased terrorism, economic woes, and a host of other bizarre crap to contend with! Wow! Madonna sang a version of my song "Imagine", but I hated it! Stick to your own whorish tunes you aging slut! HAHA! Just kidding Madge! I think you put on a great show and are at least doing something for the world, not the very least of which is adopting black African babies! You and that Angelina Voight!
My darling beloved Yoko! You've done well managing my estate/empire, but you look like a man now more than ever before! So I had two sons, and I thought Julian was going to be big, but he gave up so quickly and didn't pursue the music business like I did. What a joke! And my other boy Sean? Don't even get me started on that loser! I love you boys though. I guess you can't repeat the greatness that your father once was! Geniuses like me only come once in a lifetime folks!
Well, I've got to go. I'll pray for ye mortals and yer obvious mishandling of the world. At the rate you're going, it's all going to end in one giant mushroom nuclear cloud bomb blast. I'll chant/pray for you heavily! Take a listen to this obscure but awesome version of "Imagine" I recorded; an unreleased take that is probably cooler than the official version:
Bravo WAT for a great amazing blog! Quite possibly the greatest blog that has ever existed! I'll probably stop by to visit/check in on you bloody dumbasses sometime soon.
Peace and love forever,