Wednesday, April 29, 2009


A happy Wednesday to ya! Or just try and fake smile like I do.

I was born and raised here in Los Angeles (WILL I EVER LEAVE THIS CESSPOOL GOD), and while it is a pretty cool big city, it gets on mee last nerve from time to time. Besides the horrible traffic an
d smog, we have some real assholes and beatches here! Looks are everything in this city, especially in the gay community! You have to dress nice, work out regularly, and tan! These are all things I just don't do! I mean, I'm already naturally devastatingly handsome thanks to my amazing genes (stop laughing) but I most certainly do not keep up with fashion, nor am I working out regularly, THE WAY I SHOULD BE AND STARTED DOING SO WELL BACK IN MARCH YOU LAZY HEATHEN! And I certainly don't tan! I mean, I hate the sun! HATE IT! It's nice to have our nearest brightest star to help our plants grow and shit, but I mean, having to be out in it all freakin' day drives me nuts! Not having perfect skin makes me very self-conscious out there! No sir, I don't like it! I know, I know, I'm such a weirdo, but it's how I roll okay? I look better at night anyway. LOLOL! Under dim lights, or out cruising the streets whilst driving in my car. Maybe this is why I'm such a night owl! I just look better in the dark! It's true! While at the Renaissance Faire on Saturday, I was irked at these dudes that looked amazing out in the sun, with perfect skin and tans! ARGH! Here I was, some pasty white skinny spic taking pictures! BOOHOO! I guess I can change this right, and look better if I really wanted to, but at least I hope I'll avoid skin cancer as I stay as white as paper.

Anyway, no one cares about my whining, and I can write all day long till the pigs give us t
he flu...OH WAIT, THAT HAS HAPPENED! Listen, I saw these two really good films, so lemme give ya the quick WAT movie reviews. This Kate Winslet is such a whore! She loves being naked on camera, and The Reader is no exception. Good film, but so heartbreaking! Excellent acting all-around! The first half is almost purely pornographic! Made even a gay slut like me blush! I love Kate though. LOVE THAT PUTA. And the second movie to recommend is Torremolinos 73, an absolutely wild wacky hardcore sexathon movie from España with lots of Scandanavian actors in the mix! OH MY GOODNESS! HILARIOUS AT TIMES! These Spaniards and Europeans in general are so open-minded, so free, so unafraid to explore it all in their movies, which is why I love foreign films so.

Okay, gotta run. Another exciting riveting fun-filled day at work awaits! YIPEE!

The Beatles. I know, you're sick of me mentioning them, but I can't help it if they altered the course of history, if they are the greatest thing to ever happen to popular modern music! Lovely to see the boys back from a long holiday as they were about to go into the recording studio to give us the masterful Sgt. Pepper album. 1967... so very very long ago:


A Lewis said...

Did you really say SPIC? Ouch. As for "dress nice, work out regularly, and tan" can come to Portland anytime. We don't tan here, we RUST. And we don't dress nice, we love our oversized hoodies and big jeans. And some of us work out....but all in good fun. We're a very layed back, casual, sort of group here. Did you say SPIC? I'm still thinkin' about that.....

Conclave27 said...

Spic... lol...reminds me of a joke...What happened when the lady of the house told her made to use Spic n' Span in the kitchen? The maid said "Tu hablas espanol tambien?" lol.... Yes L.A is a self pool of plastic people, and we are overun by ILEGALS... but hey we have safe places like.. Alhambra and the San Gabriel Valley protected and improved by our Asian Lords. At least they are better and behave. Did I happen to say how hawt some of them are. Sadly, no one gives me the time of day...I am like Koroko almost (Kabuki or No Theater anyone?). LOL why are the guys who would make the perfect husband are 80% alone and end up.... errr... lets try to keep this positive.

Look Mr. WAT... you look fine. Perhaps you just need to get out of L.A. or just build you own home to retreat to instead of being forced to share a cell with someone your unhappy with? I thought that hated minorities up in Washington/Oregon. La Raza and NAACP always say how white only the Great White North is? Although...they spew tons of useless nonsense those groups.

RG said...

OMG! Who cares what the overly tanned, bleached teeth, crystal-titty, designer gay boyz do? Really! Make your own way, own your own life. FUCK THE LA QUEENS. You're real - they're not.

Escuche mí hermoso - I'm never going to have a six pack, or a nice bubble butt, or huge arms or a deep dark tan. And guess what? I'm perfectly happy with that. I'm in shape, but I'm not a gym rat.

And for the record, there is NOTHING WRONG with your body, your skin, or your handsome face. NOTHING! But those are ONLY physical attributes.

You're smart, funny, empathetic to other's needs and a good guy. Now THOSE attributes are truly sexy.

mkf said...

wait--you're young, you're latin, you're pretty, you write an entertaining blog AND you love the beatles? hell, i'm in.

[and if you like lame-ass white guys who are prolly twice your age, then i'm totally in.]


alice said...

Ok... so you're not tan and so many others are. Maybe that makes you stand out in the crowd and be more unique. If some guys just want the "cookie cutter look", they are probably too shallow for your liking.

Speaking of the Beatles, my daughter attended Cochella, and was priveleged to witness the magic of Sir Paul. She called me in the middle of the song, "My Love"..., and held up her phone so I could hear him sing. I love my daughter.....