It's one of those days I've spent reflecting on my life once again. Dangerous for me to do that. All I end up feeling is unfulfilled and depressed as a human being.
Why don't I have a better job and make more money?
Why haven't I traveled more?
Why didn't I start the gym earlier in life and bulk up, not wait till now?
Why do I still technically live at home?
Why don't I have a stable romantic relationship?
Why did I have to get socked in the gut with stupid anxiety disorder for which I'm finding it hard to get off my psychotropic medication: Effexor?
Why tha hell am I gay and still not accepted fully by many in society?
Why oh why??!! WAH WAH WAH!
Let's face it. I have so much. I really do. A roof over my head. Plentiful food. A steady decent income. A nice car. My heatlh. Decent looks. An IPOD. O.k. friends. I have much more than many in the world who are now starving and dreadfully poor. So what oh what, is missing I ask? Why all the questioning and whining? Is it the human condition to never be satisfied? Or am I just an ingrate? An ungrateful dumbass who should just shut up and shove it?!
I obviously did not make it to Sea World today did I, hence all this dark sad reflection.
Alas, tomorrow is another day...
6 comments:
Aw, thanks! I'll take your words to heart.
#1. Stop Wanting, Life is easier that way.
#2. Quit your job and travel
#3. 24hr fitness is weird, nobody talks, loud music, but working out is great for the mind and body, keep at it!
#4. Living at home is cool
#5. I will be your stable romantic relationship, as long as you dont mind an old drunk daddy troll
#6. Get the fuck off the effexor (whatever it takes) I dont believe in psycho drugs, even though I have been on klonopin for 12+ years, but that's another story.
#7. Anxiety is overrated
#8. Oh my God, your gay? Would you rather have a wife and 2.6 kids and a minivan and a house in palmdale with a white picket fence and an 80 mile comute to work to pay off your stoooopid mortgage while your wife sits at home watching Oprah and you have to pay for a private school for your .6 kid cuz palmdale schools are full of gun-totting crazies?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!! Your solutions are simple but hilarious. Thanks for the advice, I feel better now.
WAT listen to BG!
#1-he's right
#2-i couldn't quit my job, but
travel is something we should all do.
#3-i'm lazy when it comes to working out.
#4-i live at home...are you doing me too.
#5-what is a stable relationship?
#6-mota is my only drug
#7-anxiety?
#8-get over it you are faggette, fuck what people think.
I had the same kind of day yesterday, I slept and didn't pay attention to the world. sometimes we just need that.
*dogging me too
#4 ( ijust woke up cant type)
goes in there
1)As I told you many times before count your graces. You are not working at a video store or Burger King.
You want that career you harp about...then do something about it. I've been telling you for years about the annex....hell your porno career was even there too from your the gutter riden friend you have.
2) Well you have. You are still young so do some traveling if that what you want.
3) The first day I met you 8 years ago I thought you were perfect. Only the jealousy of the fat sows of the world have made you conform to there standards of being a bloated sack of shit. Ain't I Wright....
4) Well you care for the other person for one thing. You are the only one they have. Yet....
5) Becuase you don't want one. Perhaps this is bitterness talking but as you have alway said... you weren't ready for one. All my peronal opinion your BF was a sack of shit...I can't belive how he mistreated you, didn't care, and took advantage of you. Poor guy.
You had the most miserable experience ever.
6) Life happens. Yet you have over come so much. COunt your blessings. I know it is hard to get over it...but you have made so much progress. Don't fall of the wagon and loose. I know you can beat it.
7) Well you were born that way. Be true to your heart and yourself. Don't ruin another other person's life by pretending to be something your not.
Well that my 2 tokens.....but hey whjat do I know? I am just a washed up miserable old cum towl.
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