THAT SONG IS SO 2005!

How was that Easter ham?

I guess I like Seth Rogen, but is there a movie he's not in as of late?! Talk about overexposure man! Yeah, I finally watched Auntie Mame, and I enjoyed the raunchy/racy humor. I had no idea they could be this daring in 1958! Rosalind Russell was really good in the movie, and at times I thought I was actually watching Joan Crawford. Auntie Mame was a very feisty, vivacious, and fun gal; this woman was probably a really cool fag hag. And she had lots of money! YEEHA! Why couldn't I be blessed with an aunt or relative like this? There are people in my family with cash, but none of them are close or that nice to me. :(

So I like to update my iPod every few months, because I get tired of the same 5,500 songs ya know? LOL! So I just cleaned out some old stuff I don't really listen to anymore to make room for new sounds. I didn't like U2's last album at all: How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb, even though it won tons of Grammys. I found it quite boring, except for its awesome lead track Vertigo. This new one however is quite good and catchy so far, so I am fairly pleased. I have to listen a bit more to Death Cab For Cutie's latest album, but I'm still only attached to this big hit song that was played lots on the radio. I'm giving a whirl to Silversun Pickups' latest effort and so far so good; I do remember liking this song of theirs a lot just a few years ago. And then there's this amazing awesome pop/rock/Latin duo from Bogotá, Colombia: Aterciopelados, and anything they put out is sure to be fantastic. The lead singer has a beautiful voice and they are playing live here in L.A. this coming Wednesday! Will I be going? I dunno, since it is a school night and all, but the urge is there!

Speaking of live shows, I went to see Travis just this past Friday at the historic Wiltern Theatre; recorded highlights of the show are here and here! I'm liking their new album too and they were so fun live! I was loving lead singer Fran Healy's Scottish brogue. Sexy, sexy! Their opening act were The Republic Tigers and they were pretty good too; their cover of Blondie's Heart of Glass was phenomenal! Anyway, it was standing room only for those of us on the floor, and there were lots of tall white dudes blocking my view here and there, but I managed to watch most of the show decently. I took some pictures, and many of them came out blurry or too dark, due to having to stretch my arms up above all dem people's heads and the lighting. There are a few surprises here and there, so this slideshow is still worth seeing!

Enjoy:

HAPPY PASSOVER, EASTER, AND DON'T EAT THOSE DYED EGGS.

Well, at least it's Friday man. I'm supposed to go here tonight to see Scottish band Travis! I hope I'm not too tired or running late with traffic and all and can make tha show! WOOHOO! They're not super big in America, but they're a good competent entertaining little rock band.

There is a neat little Spanish word I'd like to teach you. I use it quite often, for it helps relieve stress and insult the one you love or your enemy all at the same time! I shouldn't even be giving away this little gem, but since Spanish is increasingly being spoken by more people all over the world, especially here in the United States, I might as well let the cat out of the bag a bit. The word is tarado. TARADO. It is pronounced this way. Got it? Ya gotta roll that "r" a little. The English equivalent is "dumbass", "retard", or "moron". So let's say you're trying to show someone how to pour milk onto a bowl of corn flakes and they spill the milk and you get frustrated at them, you'd kind of calmly but gently and with a bit of a heavy sigh would say, "Ay, tarado." However, if you're really pissed off at that bitch supervisor of yours or some dumbass illegal immigrant (LOLOL) just cut you off on the freeway, you could freely yell out with true gusto, "¡TARADA!" It obviously changes ending according to the person's gender, but you already know that; tarado for males, and tarada for females. This free useless and ridiculous public service announcement brought to you by the biggest tarado of them all: ME! Gracias.

It's a big religious week fellow Christians and Jews! Passover and all that yummy food; I wanna wish my Jewish brethren a happy holiday. I haven't had good Hebrew cuisine for quite some time, but it is good stuff, and those pastries man are to die for! MMMMmmmm! And then there's Easter weekend here for those who believe in Jesus as the Messiah. Frankly, I don't really celebrate Easter, except by sleeping in as usual and doing almost nothing like most of my Sundays. HAHA! I used to dye eggs as a kid, but that takes time and work, and the price of those dying kits has gone up since I was a child! MAMA MIA! Is it true some people actually eat those colored eggs? YUCK! I could never do it. Sounds gross. Anyway, congrats to everyone, whatever your religious beliefs, and peace and love to all, let's make love, let's spend the night together, let's get it on, and may all your precious dreams come true. Happy 2012 and kumbaya my Lord...

This is a remarkable well-written piece on Madonna's enormous extraordinary wealth. Even if you hate the bitch, even if you completely loathe the pop-singing whore, this article is a must-read! How does she do it?!

I wish ya a happy weekend! I leave you with a fabulous clip from Will & Grace, that tremendous sitcom that once was. This is very funny good stuff:

WAT È MOLTO PAZZESCO!

Those were some mighty good, fascinating, and sometimes hilarious comments for my last post good people. Thanks again! As usual, there is soooooo much I'd like to discuss; my overloaded brain is full, absolutely FULL and I must ejaculate it all onto this blog as much as possible for therapeutic effect!

Terremoto in Italia! Figlio di puttana! Italian is a beautiful language, very similar to español, and the world entire is following the recent earthquake and strong aftershocks in the ancient region of Abruzzo, which has devastated the area and its very ancient buildings. Man, Italy is old! LIKE, REALLY SUPER OLD, so a substantial 6.3 temblor such as this is more than enough to knock down historic brick and cement structures easily to the ground. A really wonderful story coming out of all this tragedy was the 98 year-old little old lady who was found after some 30 hours in the rubble and she was knitting for Christ's sake! LOLOLOL! Way ta go grandma! And our little beloved pop queen legend Madonna herself, has kindly and generously donated money to the cause as well, because her grandparents were actually from that region. That's pretty cool man, and I say bravo to La Ciccone for stepping up to the plate to help some of these poor suffering people right now. As someone who has been through quite a few quakes, they can be quite scary and disconcerting, and I am most fortunate to have never lost a home or to have been miserably disrupted by one, but I often wonder (as I've stated many times before) when our big shaker is going to happen here in L.A. YIKES! They need to get those prediction methods in order once and for all, or do geologists already know when one will occur but say nothing so as to not panic the population? Regardless of when, a quake here in Los Angeles is about as certain as the sun rising tomorrow morning; the price we pay for all this beautiful weather and the privilege of living near Paris Hilton. HA!

Okay. What tha hell is going on here?! GAY MARRIAGE IS NOW LEGAL IN FOUR U.S. STATES?! Iowa's Supreme Court just recently gave in, and now Vermont, joining Connecticut and Massachusetts; the other two states allowing pink triangle weddings. WOW! What gives, what's the deal?! Are times changing so rapidly right before our very eyes as to allow this impressive wind of change to blow in so strongly? You know what this means right? THIS COUNTRY WILL BE GOING TO HELL NOW FASTER THAN ABE VIGODA TO HIS GRAVE! LOLOLOL! I'm all for this social progress, and now look at my own home state of California as one real backward expensive-to-live in shithole! I and many other homos had to deal with those awful nasty lawn signs and car bumper stickers last year banning gay marriage, and ultimately that damn Prop 8 passed, but the saving grace/good news being that it only won by a very narrow margin. OH CALIFORNIA! MY PRECIOUS HOME STATE! Get with it already! We got bigger more horrid real problems to deal with, so just let Adam and Steve get married so as to no longer fornicate and live in sin. HAHA.

I work in an office where I see babies and toddlers quite often, and sometimes I feel very sorry for them, not only because some of their parents are breeding losers, but simply for the fact that they are so small and innocent and on their way to inheriting a really insane world. Some of them might grow up to be extraordinary productive citizens mind you, but so many of them I feel are going to really truly suffer and struggle ya know? I dunno if I'm making sense, but I often squeeze their cheeks thinking, "Oh ye little one, you have no idea what's in store for you in this hard life." I do wish them the best, and here's hoping none of them become America's next most wanted serial killer!

George Michael's best days are probably behind him, but he has nothing to be ashamed about, because he's a Greek-English rainbow pride member of immense talent who has given us a tremendous song catalogue worthy of repeated and continued airplay for decades to come! I still turn up the volume every time my iPod randomly plays this finger-licking good masterpiece:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyGqtNnH2Kk

SEE YA IN DOGGY HEAVEN.

This blog is visited by thousands daily, so let's get to it! That's right, I said THOUSANDS. HA!

Madonna's been told she can't adopt that girl! Our little pop queen denied?! OUCH! And yet another one of those terrible bloody mass shootings happened on Friday. Yeah man, the economy and bitterness out there is grave, and it is making lots of individual people snap! And I think Farrah Fawcett is going to die. I had a feeling she wasn't well when I read about a year or so ago that she was trying to get aggressive treatment for her cancer. Bummer, but what can we do? We are seemingly powerless mortals I'm afraid; living breathing idiots trying to keep occupied until death comes and takes us for good! I hope that you're now as happy and joyous reading these words, as I am typing them! LOLOLOL!

So what will happen to you when you pass away? Is there a heaven? A hell? Well I for one don't believe in no fiery hell anymore, but I am still holding on to the desperate hope that there is some cool nice dimension of sorts for the cool folk where we can all smoke marijuana from time to time while enjoying music and other worldly hedonistic pleasures without the suffering encountered here on Earth. I saw Religulous, and it was a pretty entertaining documentary with that loudmouthed half-Jew Bill Maher who doesn't believe in God at all. I for one agree with Bill that religion is horrible and has helped destroy humanity, and keeps otherwise powerless people feeling high and mighty, but I would not go as far as Maher to say that there should be no such thing as faith or spirituality. It's good to pray, it's good to rely on something outside of yourself I believe, and even beneficial to one's health, but it is the fundamental judgmental money-making organized religious criminals that need to be stopped. All that horrid brainwashing and fear one is raised with has got to go man! And I do believe all of that is slowly dying, especially in such a zany overly religious country like the United States has notoriously been. Bill points out in one part of the film how many of our Founding Fathers were anti-religion and believed in separation of church and state, which many of today's psycho Christians will not dare accept.

One of the most disturbing things I learned from this documentary film is the existence of an actual amusement park in Orlando, FL (Disney World is satanic I guess so here's the alternative) called The Holy Land Experience! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! THIS KIND OF DEMENTED PLACE EXISTS?! Yes, you and your family can come here, and witness Jesus getting crucified at one of the park's shows! YUCK! HOW LAMENTABLY DEGRADING AND MORBID CAN THIS BE? This place sounds like no fun, and anyone that goes there is a freak! Sounds like that awful Mel Gibson movie coming to life! I'm being too harsh I suppose, but whatever. I just can't wrap my mind around this place even existing or being entertaining! LOLOL! To each his own...

Sir Paul and Lord Ringo were in concert together on Saturday to raise some money and I thought I'd heard Howard Stern mention last week he was going to be attending this. They had other big music names there as well, so it sounds like it was probably really amazing; Stern will surely talk about it on today's satellite radio show.

I had never seen Easter Parade, but it really was a beautiful movie, pretty f*cking enjoyable if ya ask me. Fred Astaire was not that hot, but boy could that man move! Judy Garland was as cute as a button in this film. I had no idea Peter Lawford was so handsome! DAMN! And Ann Miller could move like that?! WOW! Good stuff, and many thanks to my good bud Truman for lending me his DVD:

THE NEW WAT DISORDER.

Most of you have probably not heard of Andy Hallett, but he played such a wonderful character on that Buffy the Vampire Slayer spinoff Angel series earlier this decade and now I hear the terrible news that Andy died of some heart condition just this past week! THAT SUCKS MAN! Andy was always in heavy green make-up for the show, but seeing his normal pics makes me realize just how cute and adorable he was. He was only 33 years old.

I wish it were only an April Fool's prank, but our sales tax went up on Wednesday. We have paid 8.25% on every dollar for years here, but now it's gone up by one percent! YEESH MAN! Everything is going to be more expensive now of course, and this was done because our state budget is in such a deficit. Ya know, just like the clowns and crooks at the federal level in Congress, we have some real dummies working in Sacramento, and because of their mismanagement of our tax dollars, now we have to pay for the entire mess by shelling out more of our hard-earned money! Just great man. The longer I live, the worse I feel at times to realize that most of us are on this planet to work as legal slaves at boring jobs only to pay taxes, and then we get older and die. It's a wonderful life indeed. To pepper it with hedonism is the only way to cope with this shitty deal. The American Dream! HA! What a joke.

Our beloved world leaders are in London this week, the 20 most powerful economies are chumming it up, having lavish meals, and posing for plenty of pictures. I found it funny to see a photo of the Obamas standing next to Queen Elizabeth II, who looked so tiny next to those towering two. LOL! I was worried for a sec the Queen had started shrinking due to old age, and there's that stuck-up pompous husband of hers Philip as well in some of those shots. It's nice to see our new president getting much more respect than that asshole Bush used to overseas, but I'm cynical about all this mess; these political leaders are over there to supposedly address our global economic depression, but what are they really going to do about this? The British prime minister Brown gave a speech about a new world order, and protesters are in full swing causing near riots wanting answers to severe unemployment rates and the corruption of corporations. Something is fishy here, something tells me we just don't have that much power as citizens to really change things, and that the rich and truly mighty have a big chess board with us as the pawns to move around wherever they wish. There's a conspiracy afoot my brethren!

Well, enough of my pseudo-news blog. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just regurgitating news you've all already heard of, but whatever. I gotta talk about something else besides my annoying life man!

Have a great weekend everybody, comment freely, and if you've never seen this movie, you are sorely lacking/missing out on one great sexy provocative tremendously acted film:

APRIL ALREADY?! MY GOD! MY DEAR SWEET GOD!

I'm so proud of myself! My pretty new cool cell phone went into the jacuzzi for a good five seconds, and I'm trying to dry it out, but I'm almost certain it's done for. This happened to me a while ago with another cell phone, and I am sad now and very frustrated. ARGH! I knew depending on technology was a bad idea!

Sooner than later I'm afraid, we are going to have a really big earthquake here, and then what?! Then how will I and millions cope without water and power for a few days if not weeks God forbid?! It will be like Hurricane Katrina over here! Yes, I could and should prepare by stocking up on necessary supplies now, but do I ever do it? NOOOOOO! Here I am confidently typing away as I try (probably in vain) to dry my poor wet mobile under a desk lamp. And somewhere here under Los Angeles or the neighboring areas, one of these freakin' faults is ready to release its tremendous energy. The reason why I'm even mentioning all this morbid quake stuff is because scientists were concerned about recent heavy tremor activity around the Salton Sea, which is right on the San Andreas Fault. Yes, that is pretty scary, but they're afraid that THAT southern part of the crack is going to give way, because it is already some two hundred years and change overdue. Not to curse our lovely sister city San Francisco up north, but I'd much rather they have that thing than us, because I really need my Internet access to remain intact! LOLOLOL! But seriously, a natural disaster such as this in a major city like L.A. or any other place is truly horrible and although I would probably survive, I'd really hate all the disruption it would cause, especially with regards to upkeeping this blog! OMG! Imagine the MySpace and Facebook narcissists who have to status update us with their lives every three minutes! They'll suffer worse! It's all this dependence on comforts and technology; psychologically very distressing when it's taken away! Oh please Lord, no major quakes and please save my mobile! AHAHAHAH! PLEASE!!!

There's this really bad computer worm/virus that is supposed to strike many of our precious machines starting today! It's called Conficker or something to that effect, and it is supposed to be the worst yet, striking randomly, without even having to open an email, and messing up computers worldwide. WHO NEEDS TO WAIT FOR 2012?! THE END OF CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT IS HERE! THE CONFICKER WORM/VIRUS WILL DISRUPT THE INTERNET AND OUR DEPENDENCE ON IT! OH HOW THE MIGHTY WILL FALL! Of course, I'm probably being melodramatic, and the damn thing won't really do that much damage after all! Howard Stern said the hackers who design these things are "assholes who have too much time on their hands and that if caught they should be thrown in prison for life." Howard must love his Internet access! HEE!

Madonna is in Malawi again trying to adopt yet another child? WHAT?! I dunno anymore. This is starting to get weird. Her daughter Lourdes looks so grown up and pretty, is she really only 12? WOW! Girl's got those hot Latin dad genes for sure and looks very much like her mother did. And Rocco's growing too! The adopted little black kid David is getting really cute. Great articles and pics here and here!

I miss single slutty whorish white trash young Madonna very much though:



P.S. Looks like my phone is going to be okay! :)

THE MADNESS OF KING WAT! LOOK AT ME! I'M URINATING!

Okay, so it was only once this past week, but I at least got myself to the gym on Saturday! I'm noticing I have a slight gut/belly though and I don't like it. Where are my abs?! ARGH! It's all diet for the most part, but how can I ever give up french fries? HOW?!

As if cell phone text-messaging, e-mail and instant messenger chatting wasn't bad enough, then came blogging, MySpace, Facebook, and now there's Twitter, the Blackberry, and the iPhone. Listen, I love all this fabulous technology just as much as the next guy/gal, but some of this is getting ridiculous! I never hesitate to admit that this blog is a bit of me trying to get some attention and notice in my otherwise pitiful boring banal ordinary life, but some of YOU people are taking your narcissism to extreme levels! I see those status updates people leave on MySpace or even worse Facebook, and it just makes me scratch my head at how often people want you to know what's going on in their quite boring lives! Some examples using fictitious names:

-"Clark Kent just had a lovely dinner and is going to watch CSI on TV."

Um, well okay! And I'm supposed to care? Well good for you Clark! Of course, in comes one or two of Clark's close Facebook friends and will leave a comment such as, "Yay! With or without your clothes on Clark?" How witty! NOT! UGH! I MEAN, REALLY! WHO GIVES A F*CK?!

-"Barbie just got off the plane and here I am in lovely Rome."

That's nice dear. Rub it in for us poor people who are not as trendy, VIP, or as special as you to be in f*cking Italy at this time like your special little self. I hope you get run over by la polizia italiana, or a thousand of those pigeons suddenly attack you for being so haughty and annoying about your worldly travels and adventures.

MySpace was bad enough with this shite, Facebook is much worse, letting you know what everyone connected to your friends is bloody up to when I frankly do not give a rat's ass, and Twitter might just be thee worst yet; probably alerts you to the size of someone's bowel movement at any given time! Listen, I am grateful and most thankful for anyone and all who come here to this blog to visit, but at least I (and most bloggers) take some time and thought into what I am going to write in here; there is substantial work undertaken and a real exchange of ideas/info taking place. I guess you could use my arguments against me somehow and call me a narcissist as well, but whatever. WHATEVER! I at least admit to wanting attention, whereas so many out there don't and think that what they are actually doing or status updating us with is actually important! It's just not! I'm just trying to keep it real dawg. LOL!

And while it would be nice to have one of those magical portable Internet access gems such as the Blackberry or iPhone, do I really need one of those things? DO I REALLY NOW? As if I'm not already suffering from withdrawals when away from my laptop or desktop at home/work, I don't want to burden myself with yet another device that will keep me hooked to the damn Internet more than I already am! And the monthly service for having one of these things is not cheap either, and saving my money as much as I can is another reason not to get one of these portable devices at this or hopefully any time. I already have a cell phone and receive tons of text messages, a laptop, a desktop, and an iPod. I'll be fine with what I have up to this point right?

I just saw The Madness of King George and it was so insightful into royal life in the late 1700s in England! This was George III, who was still very upset at having lost the Thirteen Colonies in America, and he slowly starts losing his mind and behaving like quite a wretched barbarian! The acting is tremendous of course; the cast includes Nigel Hawthorne, Helen Mirren, Ian Holm, and Rupert Everett, all fine English actors naturally!

I love Miguel Bosé, Spain's finest trendiest artist ever; footage from a 1990 mega concert in Barcelona:

AIG EXECS SHOULD BUY US ALL LIFETIME MOVIE TICKETS!

I'm frustrated at myself because I have not been to the gym this week so far. Very behind on that. And I am frustrated I gotta be at work all those damn hours, when I could be using that energy at the gym! Pay me to go to the gym please instead of doing boring office work! Those are called "personal trainers" dude, that's their job! Okay, okay I get it! ARGH! I could use a million lame excuses but I won't...

Hey, I saw Coraline in 3D on Wednesday! WOW! This movie is beautiful to look at. Very meticulously animated. I was lost in a very neat little world I tells ya. I don't even know how these people are able to work on such a project and bring these puppets and stuff to life like this! That looks like toilsome backbreaking slow work man! It is truly astonishing and breathtaking really; I hope the animators and stuff get paid lots and lots for such incredible magnificent handmade/crafted labor. I was surprised at the story and how dark and creepy it was; some kids might be really scared by this! Well, I don't ever like spoiling movies for ye my fans, so I best leave it up to you to go see it while it is still barely in theaters, or on DVD I suppose, but it's well worth seeing it in the third dimension to give it that extra kick ya know? It was well worth the SUPERBLY EXORBITANT TICKET PRICE. I don't know how much a movie admission is costing nowadays in your 'hood, but ova here I almost fainted at having to pay $13.50 for a regular adult admission! I rarely go to the movies, so going back after a three-month hiatus, I discovered the new shocking inflated fee. I'm anything but a cheap Jew (it's a joke okay, I love that hawk-nosed bastard Howard Stern and Mel Brooks is God, LOLOLOL), but DAMN! THAT IS REALLY REALLY EXPENSIVE! I'll have to start buying tickets at a discount through our union or wherever else I can, 'cause that is ridiculous! And don't even get me started on the concessions stand! WHAT THA EF?! SIX DOLLAR NACHOS?!! ¡Tu madre cabrón! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH!

Greedy scuzballs these AIG execs and crew. The common man/folk are pissed, and rightfully so. This current economic depression is hitting so many people really hard, and I don't know one person it has not affected in some way. And to see these guys taking in all these bonuses, rewarding themselves for such a mismanaged company is downright unfair and openly criminal. They're even receiving death threats for crying out loud! A few examples I found in this article:

--"Get the bonus, we will get your children," someone identified only as "Jacob the Killer" hauntingly writes in an e-mail.

-- "All you motherf***ers should be shot. Thanks for f***ing up our economy then taking our money."

--" We will hunt you down. Every last penny. We will hunt your children and we will hunt your conscience. We will do whatever we can to get those people getting the bonuses. Give back the money or kill yourselves."

YIKES! HOOHOOHAHA! We the taxpayer, we the ones with the boring banal routine low-paying jobs are just sick of this crap! I think death threatening these fools is going too far, but I can't say I blame them either for their anger.

Well, another weekend is upon us, so enjoy it all you can fellow citizens. Do you all remember Menudo? That was the Puerto Rican boy band that hit it big in the early 80s; Ricky Martin got his young gay childhood start here. Well, in the late 70s/early 80s I was into Parchís! They were a kid's band made up of three boys and two girls from Spain! Cheesy as hell, but they were pretty popular. I used to look at the older boy in the middle a lot. Tino was his name, and...

WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?! HA:

THE MIGHTY THAI EMPIRE!

It's miércoles! That's español for Wednesday okay?

You know, I grew up with five major world cuisines: Salvadoran, American, Mexican, Italian, and Chinese. I suppose most of us grow up with most of these correct? Burgers and hot dogs =American! Tacos and burritos = Mexican! Spaghetti and lasagna = Italian! Chow mein and rice = Chinese! The Salvi food is due to my heritage, but it's not as international as the other four. In the last few years though, I've discovered this Thai cuisine, which is kick ass man! OMG! It's like Chinese food, but with an extra twist! I love that stuff, especially their iced tea which is just delicious! I used to order it with the funny gooey boba balls at the bottom (insert gay joke here ye gutter minds), but it gets a bit cumbersome sucking up those things and at times they just go up the thick straw and directly into and down my throat (one last gay joke just for you perverts!), causing a bit of a discomfort. L.A. is now loaded with Thai places, or maybe it's always been this way and I am now barely noticing these awesome establishments of culinary delight, due to my current recognition of such yummy food.

Speaking of yummy food, let's talk about England! LOL! I have the utmost respect for so much of their culture, as I'm sure many across the world do right? England has been at the forefront of technology, science, the arts, law, government, etc. since the days of old, which all came together during their mighty rule over the Earth, better known in history as the British Empire! OH MIGHTY BRITAIN, THE 19th CENTURY BELONGED TO YE! I mean, what language am I now writing in for crying out loud? English! I know Scotland, Wales, Ireland, and many other former British colonies or current British regions hate England due to their greedy abusive ways, and I guess this is rightfully so, but history has spoken, and the past cannot be broken. What was it about this tiny somewhat isolated area in Europe that has spawned such international greatness? What was in their air or water that has made them so fiercely competitive and influential? The United States overtook the Brits as the most powerful nation in the 20th century, but who founded the original 13 colonies? And what language do Americans speak? English! And who are the best actors? Sir Ian McKellen, Dame Judi Dench, Kate Winslet, Laurence Olivier. And the greatest writers: Shakespeare, James Joyce, Jane Austen, Charles Dickens! And even in the modern era, the English have given the world rock gods: The Beatles, The Stones, Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, The Who, etc. I dare say old chap, I do wanna visit this land some day. As much of a Hispanophile as I am, I can't deny I gots a bit of Anglophilia as well. That sounds nasty doesn't it? HA!

This American author however, has a different, more negative view of the "glorious" English, and is tired of anti-Americanism:

SO THIS IS HOW YOU START YOUR MONDAY?!

I am behind on some of your awesome blogs good people. I'll get to them, or better yet, remind me and make me visit you! Thanks for always stopping by to say hello regardless! I love you all!

I don't know why it is when a bit stoned that I not only get horny, hungry, and relaxed (like now, LOL!), but I also tend to deal with chores and stuff to do in my room or around the house a lot easier. Getting my clothes ready for work, brushing my teeth, or other simple little tasks become almost effortless after a hit or two of Mary Jane. Is that weird/odd? When sober, I tend to get much lazier and find everything more monumentally annoying or overwhelming, whereas now that I am a bit high, I kinda feel more in tune and less irked by the stuff I gotta do before going to bed. Interesting. Speaking of pot, I saw that super retarded movie, Pineapple Express starring Seth Rogen and James Franco. This film is all over the place, quite ridiculous in some parts, but overall it had its moments I guess. It would've made more giggly/dumbass sense had I been stoned for it I suppose, but it works. Not as good as last week's hilarious Role Models mind you, but it still delivers a few genuine laffs. I dunno, I definitely think marijuana should and probably will be legalized soon, but I don't condone overdoing the herb either. Some people are constantly stoned off their ass and do nothing but smoke it all day, and that can get a little stupid ya know? And minors should definitely not be indulging in it, although they tend to go for cigs and alcohol at a much worse rate I suppose. Who am I to judge? I was 30 when I tried weed for the first time for crying out loud! To this day, I still don't really like or drink that much alcohol. I guess I'm rare in that I don't get addicted to substances that easy. Sex on the other hand has me totally addicted, but I'm not complaining, nor will I be seeking help for this carnal lust problem of mine anytime soon.

Music too for Christ's sake; I'm addicted to music I think as well, but that's a wonderful thing! Listen, even today there is some fine music still being recorded by artists such as The White Stripes, Of Montreal, The Shins, Radiohead, and Britney Spears (<---AHAHAHHAAHAH!), but there's something truly nostalgic missing nowadays. There are no more real albums anymore to speak of. Back in tha day, ya had the giant vinyl album to adore/admire/collect! Yeah, like that awesome scene in the incredible Almost Famous, where the young kid discovers his sister's album collection in a box she leaves for him when she moves out of home, and he sees all these great artists/records in there like The Who, Led Zeppelin, Simon & Garfunkel, etc. What a terrific time this used to be! Albums really meant something; effort was put into the whole entire thing, which is something kind of lacking in today's digital download music world. The front and back covers used to be works of art! What do we really get/have now? All I see is small little wee bit thumbnail pic on my iPod here and there, but it's not the same. I guess CDs were kind of okay about maintaining that old vinyl tradition, and they were much more portable, but those days are pretty long gone; I hardly buy CDs anymore really. No more booklet to really browse through. Oh well. Times do change, and this is a great thing, but it certainly makes one think about how music used to be, how it used to be marketed in the past vs. today. Bring back the old medleys and rock opera style albums where songs went on for like 9 minutes or something. :)

And lemme tells ya, when under the effects of 420, I totally understand Pink Floyd. They make perfect sense. HEEHEE! I'm sure they are much more powerful under the influence of more potent substances, but I'm okay as is:

DESPITE MY JOB, I GUESS I'M AT LEAST STILL ALIVE.

I went to the gym last night! Helps to relieve stress and makes me look better right? Some hot dudes there too. How I want and hate them at the same time. HAHA...

This week marks a glorious anniversary! EIGHT FUN-FILLED AWESOME AMAZING STUPENDOUS SUPER EXTRAORDINARY YEARS AT MY JOB! I CANNOT CONTAIN MY EXCITEMENT!!! Listen, in this economy, everyone is aware of how grateful one has to be just to even have a trabajo and steady paycheck. BUT MY JOB GOES EVEN FURTHER! MY JOB IS RIP-ROARINGLY BETTER THAN THE BEST HUGE EJACULATING SPURTING ORGASMS I HAVE EVER HAD, AND I HAVE HAD QUITE A FEW GOOD ONES I TELLS YA! I do love some of my co-workers mind you, so not all of this spiel is sarcastic; the real cool ones love me for who I am without being judgmental and engage me in some very fascinating conversations which do help the time to go by much faster. But getting back to the greatness that is my job: I love my two direct supervisors; they write in the English language much better than I do; one's a 130 year-old real Einstein from Taj Majal land, the other is a sultry sensually-voiced self-righteous super punctual middle-aged American black woman who reads her daily Christian affirmations; she always pronounces Hispanic surnames to perfection over our PA system! This fine large black woman never sneaks out of the office earlier than she should, despite what others have said/noticed! The other lovely American-born Ugly Betty lookalike Latina whom I have the utmost privilege of working with is an absolute joy; never condescending towards me and she never BARKS her orders at me. She is truly enlightened, and every day that she is there I am the luckiest young man in the world! The first three years at this job, I was there every day and was extremely punctual. The last five years, I have continued this excellent tradition, never missing a day, and always there on the dot baby! YOU KNOW IT! Thank God for Howard Stern. I know so many who say to me that Howard is overrated, but I dare say that it is Stern's show that makes me laugh out loud with gusto, and it is to him and his zany crew that I owe some of my best joyous laughs, which helps me immensely to get me up in the morning and take me through my drive to Disneyland (my job) and back. There! I could go on and on about all this terrific office cubicle joy, but I will stop now, for fear I may burst from all this gushing happiness! ¡Santo Dios y mi madre!

Listen, life is grand and horrid all rolled up into one, and now comes the hugely tragic news this week that British actress Natasha Richardson went on a simple skiing trip to Canada, somehow fell and hit her head, and within hours gets worse and is dead two days later! ARGH! Ya know, this is one shitty story. Sad. So very f*cking sad. The older I get, the more I think I'm able to cope with all this death, but I never even knew the woman, and my heart felt very heavy over this, so it's obvious I'm still not able to deal with life being robbed, most especially from such a seemingly lovely productive human being such as this. And everyone has nothing but truly nice genuine things to say about Natasha. She was married to one of my favorite quiet and consistently wonderful actors, Liam Neeson! MY GOD MAN! I LOVE LIAM! He was in one of my favorite movies ever, Schindler's List! He was also terrific in Kinsey, and he's had a slew of other great roles. I had no idea Natasha's dad Tony Richardson was a director who later came out of the closet and she nursed him till his last breath when he died of AIDS almost two decades ago. Natasha leaves behind our great Irish actor Liam and her two cute teenage sons with him, plus her thespian giants: mother Vanessa and her aunt Lynn Redgrave, and her acting sis Joely Richardson. This is one big showbiz-style family folks. Regardless, a kind pretty lady has passed away, and most out there are feeling the pain.

My good friend in Pasadena said, "I used to think Liam was hot back before he married Natasha, now she dies, and he looks nothing like he did in the past; she sucked out all his good looks, what do I want him now for?" LOLOLOL! And one very proper person commented on some webpage: "This is so sad, Natasha died way too young at 45. BTW, I hear Liam her husband has a big one." REAL CLASSY MAN! AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH! I guess it doesn't hurt to laugh a little, even with such a crappy story.

Have a great weekend everybody. I leave you with one weird wonderful lyrically-rich old tune by the great genius gender-bending glam rock guru master, the very British and immortal, David Bowie:

POLITICS AND SEX! TWO OF MY FAVORITE THINGS!

I was so tired yesterday. Had ZERO energy. I'm overdue back at the gym again this week. Pray for my glorious return okay? No slacking off now soldier! My job helps pay the bills for sure, but I am so annoyed by it at times. What else is new? Let's talk about interesting productive crap now:

I was born in the United States, but mi familia is all from this small little Central American country named El Salvador. I have been to this beautiful mountainous volcanic country three times back in the 90s, and got to meet tons and tons of family members. Good times, good memories, but I never want to go back! It's a terribly violent horrible place now, overrun by thugs and gang members who keep the people oppressed and in fear. F*CK THAT! And have any of the past three presidents really done anything to cleap up this embarrassing mess? NOOOOOOOO! Historic elections this week however might offer new hope: a former journalist and nice-looking fellow has been elected to the presidency, and he just happens to be a leftist from the opposing socialist political party! That crazy Chávez in Venezuela is a real happy camper. Kind of cool I suppose, although will Funes really do anything to change the status quo and clean up the horrible crime wave this little place is suffering through?! El Salvador went through a terrible civil war throughout most of the 1980s, and the peace accords allowed the guerrillas their own political party, which the new prez Mauricio Funes belongs to. We shall see how it all goes down, but knowing the vicious oppressive cycle that most Latin American nations live in and are historically used to, I doubt any real changes are coming. I hope the new guy proves me wrong, or will El Salvador continue to kiss the U.S.' behind and bend to its every whim?

The drug cartels in Mexico are savagely offing people on a daily basis! YIKES! Hispanic people are so good in bed, and yet can be so violent too! LOLOL! Not long ago, there was a warning issued to crazy young drunk American college kids not to spend spring break 2009 down in Mexico, due to the current wave of violence. WHAT?! No insane partying, binge drinking, and hardcore sex in Cancún?! WHAT GIVES MAN?! I want those GIRLS GONE WILD and GUYS GONE WILD videos now okay?! AHAHAHAH! Didn't the fool that marketed those loser videos go to jail by the way? What a douche! My mother used to hate the GIRLS GONE WILD infomercials and said the girls in those clips had no morals and were nothing but tramps/sluts! LOLOLOL! My brother Charles and I used to laugh out loud at mom's reaction. Quite a hoot! Oh well, there's always Ft. Lauderdale or Lake Havasu for a raunchy good spring break time right? Ah youth. Sweet naive crazy sexually-charged youth...

Barrett Long was interviewed by Howard Stern Monday, and he claims he is fully hetero but does gay porn only for money. Well fine! So he's got a big schwanz, but he's not that hot anyway.

Your thoughts? Pretty please!

WHAT, JEALOUS OBERON? YES I AM TITANIA!

I hate to even give celebrities, and wannabe famous people any of my precious time, but I guess it's better to focus on them than my own shitty life! Wait a sec. I'm supposed to be having an extraordinary life this year right?! RIGHT! Ahem...

I'm going to complain and whine about that silver-spooned vapid bitch Paris Hilton! She's dating male model Doug Reinhardt?! WHAT?! He's so damn sexy! I guess Paris is cute in her own way too, but what does he see in HER?! I MEAN, REALLY! It's my frustrated inner jealous feelings talking; I saw her naughty vid that made her famous a few years back and she is boring as hell in bed. What kind of sex life is Doug getting out of this heiress airhead bore?! He could have a much hotter woman for sure! Unless he's bad in bed as well! LOL! Maybe he's gay! Yeah, that's it! I will rationalize Paris having such a fine man like Doug, by imagining that they're really just good friends, and that Reinhardt is really into other dudes, because there is no way on this blue floating planet that he can be in love with or into that rich spoiled dumbass Hilton. And why don't I look like Doug again?! ARGH! Thanks for all my photo shoot compliments, but I still don't look half as good as Doug Reinhardt! He prolly has a small penis anyway...

This new Star Trek movie is going to be a big deal; the trailer for it looks pretty darn good. The cast is nice-looking too, and I am intrigued, despite the fact that I've never cared for the overhyped space saga at all, but it is so ingrained into our American consciousness that I at least know some of the names/terms affiliated with the damn phenomenon. I'm much more of a Star Wars fan mind you, but now I'm fascinated by the new actor playing the young Dr. Spock. Mr. Zachary Quinto has those really thick awesome eyebrows like myself. He's kinda hot! I like! He's on Heroes like that other hottie Milo Ventimiglia. He's in his early thirties, which is a little older than me (STOP LAFFING), and I have a feeling he's one of our beloved pink triangle rainbow coalition members. In other words ye confused masses, I THINK ZACHARY IS A HOMO. Excellent! Bring it!

It was nice to watch the epic Australia on HDTV, and although the damn movie is longer than it should be, it was still enjoyable. I love Elton John's song in the credits. The Spanish-language film noir Hormigas en la boca (Ants in the Mouth) is quite good and deeply fascinating, taking place in Cuba just as Castro is about to take charge.

And the extremely hilarious Role Models, starring the incredibly hot/handsome comedic duo of Paul Rudd and Seann William Scott and an equally-as-great supporting cast . Mama mia! This is quite a funny film, with a perfect made-for-WAT reference to Paul McCartney & Wings; this song is not really Paul and his old band, but boy it sure sounds like it could've been them: