CONGRATULATIONS, YOU'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD!

I really did not get into American Idol until after the second season really, and while it’s great to see superstar talent like Kelly Clarkson come out of all of this, it’s the initial auditions that make the show for me.

The initial coast to coast auditions are just plain ridiculously hilarious! Simon Cowell, supreme asshole that he is, is remarkably funny in his directness towards bad or awful singers. Add the authentic British accent, and you’ve got the recipe for why the show is a tremendous success.

The latest season is no exception--the ratings prove the show is doing very well once again, and as Howard Stern and crew have rightfully stated, it’s Simon who makes the show. No question.

"You ah the whust singa I have eva hud."

"Yo singing is apole-ing."

"That was absolutely towchoous."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! Ah Simon. And this season, he has been especially vicious towards the questionably gay or obviously overweight, prompting certain groups to protest and many articles on the show’s current mean streak.

I dunno, I myself find it funny, only because those auditioning put themselves in the situation to be ridiculed by claiming to be great and having an ego the size of Alaska. The really good or great singer is humble, no matter what they look or act like, and in turn, they aren’t mocked.

Last night’s episode was a riot, especially that preposterous skanky black girl with the major attitude going off after being correctly rejected. Ronetta was her name? AHAHAHAHAHA!

I haven’t yet watched tonight’s episode. I don’t TIVO, so I still had to use that outdated thing: the VCR.