I GOTTA PAY THE BILLS, BUT...

I hate my job.

It's a bore, full of utterly despicable pretentious people. I've been wasting away at a cubicle now for six years, and have bitched about this place many times in blog posts before, but I guess it's that time again. It's not like I haven't tried finding new employment mind you, but it's tough out there and the options seem worse than what I already have and am currently dealing with. The days off and benefits here are terrific, but they come at a terribly annoying price.

What scares me even more is that this job is not any different than jobs I've held in the past. They seem fine and interesting for the first year or so, then suddenly they lose their luster and become routine and quite tedious. And the people become even more heinous. At first they're all nice and charming, but then I discover all their terrible faults and they become quite ugly and wicked to me. I begin to see them for the true hypocrite phonies that they are, and that really brings me down.

It has turned me into sort of a misanthrope really. I kind of welcome natural disasters, terrorist attacks, and other ills befalling humanity at this time, only because it makes me think of the necessary purging of our planet of all the muck. That is a terrible thing to say I know, for I do not wish anyone to suffer the pain and loss of a loved one, but I take a look around my office and often think how much better the world would be without some of these really crummy people! LOLOLOL! Hell, if I have to die in the process, so be it I guess, but MAN! The gossiping, pettiness, and shit some of my co-workers display is downright disappointing and sad. GO TO HELL, THE WHOLE LOT OF YOU!

They're not any different than my other workplaces. Most of my other previous co-workers were just as effed up. Alas, I guess the hope lies in that there are a few who are worthy and become my friends, which is a bit inspiring. I only pray and wish for a miracle though. I really do. This is what I call, "cubicle death." All my wonderful artistic talent, wasting away here. I've made some dumb choices in life. It's ultimately my fault I think. Boy does that make me feel worse! I need to smoke some pot this weekend. AHAHAHHAHHAAH!

And oh yeah, I'm in the final two of Blogger Idol! WOOHOO! Thanks for all the support, and here's hoping we win! Voting continues till 5am tomorrow and the winner will be crowned! I was reading over there that some think my blog is headache-inducing due to all the stuff I have on here. We like that. We really do, especially with how we currently feel about people and all:

http://www.greggoconnell.com

WHEN THEY WAS FAB.

Here's some RARE visual treats with music provided by some dumbass band that just happened to write terrific music back in the day.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcCMGkYpSMs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCnoK4cXlew

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ovMj6IE2dYs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnmQCM-2hu0

And don't forget to keep voting as much as possible! YEEHA!

NEW WAT AUDIO ON THIS ADDICTIVE SILLY CONTINUING CONTEST!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AUDIO:

http://media.putfile.com/BLOGGERIDOL

O.k. My campaign manager E, says my older brother R.A. in Georgia is getting a little threatening. Uh, yeah bro, tone down the language will ya? SHEESH! No need to offer an ass whoopin' over a fun little contest! MAN! Here we go again. Down to the final 4! Two more will be eliminated this weekend. THAT'S THREE FULL DAYS OF VOTING FOR MONDAY'S SHOCKING FINALE! Will we be saying goodbye, or will we go on to make the top two? Our other terrific competitors are shocked to death we've made it this far! We're not surprised, for we know your loyalty well! Vote, vote, vote, vote, till you can't vote no more! ONWARD TO ANOTHER DAY/WEEKEND OF VICTORY AND TO THE FINAL!

VOTE AT:

http://www.greggoconnell.com

WE SURVIVE YET ANOTHER DAY OF BLOGGER IDOL! TODAY IS DAY FOUR!

YOU MUST BE SICK OF IT BY NOW. I KNOW I AM! BUT THIS COMPETITION IS FIERCE! FIERCE MY LITTLE ONES! YESTERDAY WEDNESDAY HAD A WHOPPING 10,000 PLUS VOTES ALONE! UNREAL! THANK YOU TO ALL MY WARRIORS WHO PUT UP A GOOD FIGHT AND VOTED AWAY! YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!

TODAY THURSDAY, I IMPLORE YOU, BEG YOU, AND INSPIRE YOU TO CONTINUE THE BATTLE . THIS IS ALL MEANINGLESS AND TRIVIAL IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS, BUT IT DOESN'T HURT TO ADD A LITTLE FUN TO OUR LIVES DOES IT? NAH! SO DO IT! VOTE AND VOTE AND VOTE AND GET YER FRIENDS AND OTHERS WHO MAY CARE ABOUT OUR LITTLE BLOG. I SAY "OUR" BECAUSE THIS BLOG BELONGS TO US ALL--TO ANYONE WHO HAS READ, COMMENTED, OR FOLLOWS THESE PAGES, THIS BLOG IS YOURS--TO ENJOY, TO SHARE YOUR IDEAS, TO ENRICH MINE AND YOUR LIVES. O.K. CHEESY BULLSHIT, BUT JUST BUY INTO IT OK?

NOW VOTE TODAY LIKE MAD! IT'S GONNA BE TIGHT AND STIFF! AND NO, NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY EITHER! WE ARE DOWN TO THE LAST SIX! TWO WILL BE ELIMINATED TODAY. BACK AT 0% WE START AGAIN, AND UP AND UP AND UP WE MUST GO!

VOTE HERE:

http://www.greggoconnell.com

GOOD LUCK AGAIN LITTLE BLOG! YOU HAVE PROVEN YOU CAN DO IT!

QUEEN OF FRANCE, QUEEN OF PORN.

---------------------------------WARNING! THE FOLLOWING POST HAS EMBEDDED LINKS WHICH MAY OFFEND SOME SENSITIVE READERS. DISCRETION IS ADVISED!

This post is dedicated to two very important women in history! Well...sort of.

Marie Antoinette was that most famous of French queens who lost her head after the angry poor had had enough with her lavish lifestyle/supposed uncaring demeanor towards them! Yeah, lemme tell ya man, that movie that recently came out, Marie Antoinette, was actually quite cool. Not big on plot, but what a beautiful gorgeous movie to look at; the day-to-day existence of the nobles and their problem-free lives. Excellent costumes (which did win the designer an Oscar), sets, and food visuals throughout the film. Sofia Coppola is kind of a bore, but hopefully growing as a director, thanks to the guidance of her famous Godfather director daddy, and this movie was indeed sumptuous to look at, to say the least.

Marie apparently never did utter that most infamous of lines attributed to her, "Let them eat cake." It was a tabloid thing created to rile up the French crowds and get them angry enough to start storming not just the Bastille, but the Palace of Versailles as well! Oh boy, did that sh*t work, 'cause it infuriated them enough to get the nobility out of there and onto the guillotine! Marie was just as much a victim I guess, for it wasn't her fault she was born into wealth in Austria and was forced to marry Louis XVI when the time came. She had an awfully hard time getting knocked up due to Louis' constant boredom and need of Viagra I guess. Man just couldn't get it up and they were both in a truly loveless marriage which eventually did grow into some caring, but eh. She did eventually bear him kids, but it didn't matter. The French revolted in a big way, and regardless of whether Marie said that condescending line or not, her head came off. The peasants/bourgeoisie was tired of dem haughty high-cultured well-off peoples while they had to eat rats for breakfast, lunch, and dinner! Her head came off as the blade swung down and into a basket Madame! How terribly sad! Mon Dieu!

In the modern era, a woman you may heard of and probably seen is Nina Hartley! Who is Nina Hartley you ask? Why, she's a very famous celebrated veteran porn star! That's right! YEEHA! Good ole'-fashioned American hardcore porn! Surely most Americans have probably seen her in some of her many many many movies in motels/hotels/and private homes across this great land showing off her really nice buttocks. Many have said Nina does have the best tush in the business and continues to slightly work in front of, "butt" mostly "behind" the camera--excuse the puns. She comes from the Ron Jeremy era of porn, and YES, did many movies with that nasty pig too. You may remember her from a couple of scenes in Boogie Nights, where she's just casually laying on the floor cheating on her husband (played by William H. Macy), as a bunch of guys just have their way with her. I often wonder if Nina was really just acting or actually having sex with those dudes! HAHA!

I remember seeing many of her films during the videotape era with lots of fascination and non-sexual curiosity at how this woman could so easily just have sex with just about anyone on camera and royally fake it too! It was fairly obvious--what, with the "OH, AH, OH YEAH, OOOOOOO, GIVE IT TO ME!" crap she'd utter time and time again. Yeah, yeah I would think. There's Nina again, being the fake whore as always. Damnit, she used to be registered nurse ya know, so she most definitely took her knowledge of human anatomy and applied it to her most famous discipline: sucking and pulling on tons of dudes and licking women left and right. My oh my. My brother Charles was a big fan, and ended up going to one of her public appearances/signings once. Even got a picture of himself holding onto her cheeks; those already very used and abused cheeks, mind you. Ahem.

Yes, from a French queen losing her head, to an expert porn star giving head.

Wow.

P.S. Check out my new blogger friend Junk Thief and his cool blog. Good stuff!

DAY TWO OF VOTING FOR THIS BLOG! VOTE MULTIPLE TIMES PLEASE!

THIS IS THE LITTLE BLOG THAT COULD! AFTER THE FIRST DAY OF FAN VOTING FOR "BLOGGER IDOL" WE WENT FROM A MERE 1% TO A WHOPPING 28% OF THE VOTES! THANKS TO ALL YE FANS WHO FEVERISHLY VOTED AND REFRESHED BROWSER PAGE MULTIPLE TIMES! LET'S KEEP DOING THIS NOW ON DAY TWO! REMEMBER, WE'RE BACK TO ZERO AGAIN ( I THINK) ON THIS SECOND DAY SO LET'S GET IT GOING! WHATEVER! JUST VOTE PERIOD! TIME AND TIME AGAIN! GO HERE:

http://www.greggoconnell.com/

AN EVEN MORE INCONVENIENT TRUTH.

It's terribly sad and upsetting to hear yet more bad news about the environment. Get yer Prozac out for this one, or celebrate humanity's most-deserved demise like I am!

The rapid melting of the polar ice sheets and glaciers is really freakin' happening. 60 Minutes had a report about a week ago, and the reporter got to see chunks of ice just cracking off glaciers and crashing into the water at an alarming unprecedented rate; this is something that someone would have never really seen happen so easily some thirty years ago--it prolly would've been as boring as watching grass grow, but no more, for it really is melting right before our very eyes. Oh pity the polar bear, seal, and penguin. And there goes some of our dry land! JUST GREAT!

Another report I heard on the radio was about the dying and bleaching out of the coral reefs in the world's oceans, which are an enormous food supply and vital to fish for their survival. Coral reefs are like the tropical rain forests of the seas. We're losing so many of these "forests", and in turn the fish are dying out too. I don't rely on fish as food supply really, but so many millions do, and it affects us all in the end regardless as a huge ecologial disaster if this is continues unabated. It's a real-life Finding Nemo, alright! UGH!

The most terribly shocking and worrisome of all these environmental doomsday scenarios though is the dying out of bees. We hardly stop and think of this one little critter's amazing value in our crop diversity and how important they are (little painful stinger and all) to not just our honey production but to the cross-pollination of our flowers. With the massive disappearance now being noticed by farmers worldwide of bees, this will create serious food shortages in the future, if not worse--the end perhaps of certain fruits and vegetables!

Global warming, coral reef bleaching, bees dying out, nuclear proliferation, water shortages, wars over oil, massive fossil fuel burning, overpopulation, and humanity's greed/selfishness continue...

Oh yeah, this could be it folks. Are we the last generations of humanity that will enjoy the Earth as we've known it?

Only the roaches and Cher will be left ya know.

"If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe, then man would only have four years of life left." - Albert Einstein.

THE WORLD IS YOURS.

The 1970s had the Godfather films, the 1990s saw Goodfellas and Casino, but it was in the 1980s that Brian De Palma directed not only the wonderful The Untouchables, but also his now celebrated cult-classic gangster masterpiece about the Miami cocaine drug scene, Scarface.

The film's plot is simple: Tony Montana is a Cuban refugee who along with other friends makes it to Miami and establishes his criminal empire as a drug kingpin--his slow meteoric rise from the very bottom to the wealthy top is what makes the film so compelling to watch--the American Dream in action. The performances themselves, by Pacino as Tony Montana, Steven Bauer as his best friend Manolo, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio as his sister Gina, the sultry Michelle Pfeiffer (in the movie that made her a star) as his love interest Elvira, and Robert Loggia as Montana's mentor are first-rate and terrific. All of the actors are truly wonderful and give themselves fully to each of their roles; Al Pacino to this day continues to say, that it is the favorite of all his film performances.

The lavish excess of the 1980s is beautifully captured, with a brilliant synthesizer-heavy soundtrack/score by Italian music producer Giorgio Moroder who worked regularly with Donna Summer during her heyday. Everything about this film is excessive: the money, the drugs, the violence, and expletives are here; two decades plus later, it still holds up as a rather shocking and convincing motion picture. It is a long film but one never feels it drag; the action is constant and storyline highly engrossing.

The film was released in 1983, but most critics at the time hated it for its extreme violence and foul language, but years later it has been reconsidered as a true gangster epic of what life really was like during the 1980s for the drug dealers of the time; Oliver Stone's strong true-to-life script was written due to his own personal battle with coke during the era. What you see here, is what some criminals really lived through or died because of.

Twenty-four years later, Scarface has been and continues to be spoofed, in particular due to its many memorable lines and quotes, such as "Say hello to ma little frien'!" The use of the Spanish language is pervasive and gives the film an edge that Italian did to the Godfather pictures--many Cubans at the time felt the movie gave them a bad name, but alas, gangsta hip-hop artists have been influenced by the film and along with others kept it alive and well into the present as a cult-favorite.

My brother Charles was hooked from the very moment he saw it in the theater and subjected me to many viewings of Scarface on videotape throughout the 80s. He used to even hold viewing parties with his friends! Looking back at it now, I can see why he loved it so, for it is a truly great classic monumental gangster film.

"Why dan't ya stick yer head up jour ass? See, if it fits." - Tony Montana.

WAT SINGS A BEATLES SONG, IN THE STYLE OF JOHN LENNON.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN:
-

http://media.putfile.com/NOREPLYWAT


Note: If playback is choppy or stalls, do not reload page! Simply drag time cursor back to the beginning and let it play; let it just flow again baby!

OBSESSION by CALVIN KLEIN.

That blue-eyed stud Sebastien has tagged me so I must comply, and plus it is a fun topic. So here we goes:

THE FIVE THINGS WAT IS OBSESSED WITH:

1) Sex - Yeah, let's just say this isn't too shocking. Porn is way too cool. Getting laid is even cooler. Add to this me being a red-blooded young semi-attractive American gay male with hardcore intense testosterone genes from men in my family bloodline and you've got a potent, almost dangerous desire to screw, plow, and bang just about anyone that looks even halfway decent.

2) The Beatles - Just as soon as I think I've had it up to here with their overplayed music, I get these terrible withdrawal symptoms when I go without them for more than a day or two. There never was nor ever will be a band so amazing, geniuses so talented, and music so glorious as to send shivers down the spine. Yes, overplayed songs like Let It Be and I Want To Hold Your Hand are all fine and dandy, but it's the obscure shit like I've Got A Feeling, Happiness Is A Warm Gun, And Your Bird Can Sing, No Reply, and I'm Looking Through You that reminds me of just how truly earth-shattering these four British men truly were and still are thanks to the magic of eternal recorded sound.

3) The Internet - I dunno how I even lived before one of humankind's greatest inventions of all time. It's all here: news, porn, blogs, MySpace, Netflix, downloadable music, instant messaging, more porn, shopping, even more porn, and more and more porn! Somehow I get all my other responsibilities taken care of, despite the enormous amount of time spent in front of the computer. Oh yeah, I forgot I gave up watching too much TV like I once used to. Now I gets it!

4) Howard Stern - So many people do not understand Howard's sense of humor. It's twisted, vile, disgusting, nasty, gross, vulgar, sexist, racist, homophobic--you name it. And yet, it is some of the funniest damn radio I have ever listened to. No, it is the funniest radio period, an amazingly charged satire and jab at American pop culture, where everyone and anyone is made fun of just for the sake of being able to laugh at ourselves. I've been a fan for about 12 years now and followed him right into satellite radio. How could I get through the miserableness of having to get up in the morning without Stern and crew? If ya wanna be informed on all topics, this is one complete radio show. The best ever by a most tolerant and quite kind-hearted big-nosed issue-ridden Jewish man. Yeah, can you believe it? Howard a kind-hearted man? Yep.

5) Death - Yes. There is a non-stop fascination I have with this--the most obviously morbid of all topics! And yet, it makes me appreciate life even more, as odd as that sounds. For though I know not when my time will be up in this dimension, I try and enjoy every precious little pleasurable hedonistic moment I have as if it were my last. Alas, when the Reaper comes for me, I wanna be able to look him straight in the face and say, "Ya know what, it sucks you have come for me, but I am tired anyway and it is time to go, but alas, I did enjoy this f*cking body I got to live in and all the experiences and people I loved and loved me in return were all well bloody worth it. Time to take that final crap in my pants now. ¡Hasta luego!"

The end.

¡VIVA MIGUEL BOSÉ! WHO??!!

Since the early 90s, I have been a very big fan of Miguel Bosé. Ya never heard of him I know, but he is a fantastic musical artist and sings in many languages, but mostly in his native Spanish. His albums have never disappointed me, except the last two or so he came out with, which were purty mediocre, compared to the great music I am accustomed to him putting out most of the time.

He was born in Panama of all places to an Italian actress mother and a Spanish bullfighter father, but most definitely raised in Spain, for he speaks with that very Castilian accent. He started out in the 1970s and was always controversial due to his very flamboyant mannerisms and feminine style of dress. Yeah, Miguel was always kind of a queen really, and seems to have become more manly as he grew older. He's in his late forties or early fifties I believe. Anyway, he has always been one of my personal favorites--sort of a cross between David Bowie, Sting, and Morrissey. Yeah, his music/voice is just plain good; awesome contemporary music in Spanish.

This video was banned in certain Spanish-speaking countries for showing erotic love between same-sex couples. Beautiful song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s_wuroMYfTA

Other clips:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fZ3RTHUnbdw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgB9UGthJfI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Eq4CxGVI7I

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNsyeIb7TAI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQYlIaU7g9M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0rm3rsAvjjA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rItE3kQH0io

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1W9wTQEhZqI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5YtKYOyuVU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zX5KMA-7uF8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yqKcrto_hU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ujgy7RfIUes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exg6st4ryvA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SUFRzSFZxNg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXgb3wVaPCw

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Yt7gXq_gk

Yeah, that should be enough. HAHA.

I just think he's awesome.

PRESENTING: MY FIRST EVER RUSTY PHOTO SLIDESHOW!

BEING A "STRAIGHT" GAY MAN, OR SO I THINK I AM.

The stereotype of course, is that your typical gay dude talks with that funny lisp (FABULUTH!), is meticulously clean, knows his fashion, cooks, and has other very effeminate qualities. Yes, while this kind of gay man does exist (as seen in that dumbass show Queer Eye For The Straight Guy), I often wonder what category I fall into.

Let's see. Let's analyze myself. I use very big flowery high vocabulary words when I speak and write. Does this make me gay? Maybe, although plenty of educated straight men do the same. I don't care for much for fashion at all either. I do like to look nice, but hate shopping for clothes/shoes. I don't care for wearing hats, scarves, or the latest jeans. F**K IT. Clothes and shoes are expensive and it's a waste of precious time to spend it in a department store, except twice a year or so. So in this regard, I don't think I'm gay at all. I do trim hair here and there, but nothing that makes me look too femme.

My taste in music is kind of in-between. I love The Beatles, Beastie Boys, Led Zeppelin, and Radiohead. That's pretty straight guy music ain't it? But then again, I ruin my straight image by also listening to Madonna, Scissor Sisters, Morrissey, and Elton John. Yeah, not too straight there. Damn. I don't really care for musicals though! Bonus points right?! Yeah, those musicals made into movies are cool, but I won't really pay money to go see people singing and dancing live onstage too often. Kind of boring really, as is that real annoying fag hag Barbra Streisand. BLAH!

I watch all kinds of movies, and am very open-minded when it comes to motion pictures. Kill Bill, The Godfather, Scarface, and The Matrix are pretty cool movies and very straight-dude oriented. But then come my film choices such as Brokeback Mountain, All About Eve, Chicago, and Torch Song Trilogy. Yeah, most straight dudes wouldn't be caught dead watching those films, and yet there I am. UGH. So gay.

I do lose lots of straight-acting points when it comes to sports. Honestly? Sports are pretty boring and a waste of time. Yeah, I'm checking out the Super Bowl only to watch who sings the national anthem and the halftime show. Basketball used to be interesting back when the Lakers were battling the Celtics in the 1980s and it's never regained my interest much since then. I really only dig the World Cup and the Olympics, and those only occur every few years anyway. So no, you won't see me often sitting in front of a big screen TV drooling over sweaty men in uniforms as they play with bouncing balls. That's such a straight man's thing to do. UH...YEAH! Real straight. Ahem.

My mannerisms are pretty straight most of the time. MOST OF THE TIME. Once in a while I will catch myself having a very effeminate moment, and it irks me, but oh well. I am what I am. It is what it is. And I do check out that straight hardcore porn, just to see how nasty those girls are getting in those scenes, but ultimately I end up checking out the dude which straight men never DO! OH NO! NOT AT ALL! UH HUH.

It doesn't help my case either that I am attracted to other dudes and like to plow the crap out of them. Yeah, pretty masculine here, but when I get laid it throws all of that out the window--or does it?

Oh well, what this post clarifies is absolutely nothing. NOTHING!

It does prove however, that I am no less a man despite whatever freakin' category I fall into, and most happy to be one.

:-)

MARILYN MONROE WAS NOT SO GOOD AT MATH.

Yeah, so I sat down to watch this movie called Proof, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jakey G., and Anthony Hopkins. The premise of the film is that Hopkins has just died after leaving behind a brilliant body of work in the field of mathematics. Jakey is a big fan/student of the late professor and aspires to be as smart as him by analyzing many of the notebooks this mentally ill "Einstein" wrote during his lifetime.

Unfortunately, add Paltrow's character as the mentally disturbed/distraught and always whining daughter of the mathematician, and the picture is ruined! UGH! There was a love scene where Jakey's on top of Gwyneth The Hag and I almost heaved! NOT MY JAKEY, ESPECIALLY NOT ON TOP OF THAT WHINING SCREAMING BLONDE UNDESERVING OSCAR-WINNING BONY TROLLOP! Idda rather seen a different chick in the role, but hey, GwynHAG has to work because Hollywood has made her believe she is a great actress. We love Jakey G. though. He can never do no wrong! LOL!

I also watched the 1953 motion picture Gentlemen Prefer Blondes which was pretty entertaining and funny at times, including a very obvious (not back then though) gay musical number! Jane Russell is a hoot and holds her own in the movie; an attractive, witty, and charming character she does indeed play. Of course, I say this because she co-stars with none other than the stunning movie powerhouse Marilyn Monroe, who is a vision to behold. Wow, was this bitch gorgeous or what?! The camera obviously loved Marilyn and I can see why she became such an icon. Her blonde bimbo demeanor is priceless in this movie, and her Diamonds Are A Girl's Best Friend number is the stuff of legend; influencing countless female entertainers to this very day like Madonna, Anna Nicole Smith, Kylie Minogue and Nicole Kidman.

And just recently, a new report that Monroe may have actually been silenced by Bobby Kennedy! This theory, and the one also linking JFK has been the stuff of rumor for years.

AND MY GOD MAN! JANE RUSSELL IS STILL ALIVE??!!

WHO KNEW?!

GYM UPDATE & MY CURRENT TOP SEVEN TUNES!

Well thanks for the overwhelming support good people regarding me getting harassed the other day at zee gym! I did call corporate office and a very nice gentleman took down my complaint, gave me two free months (so far) and will have the area director phone me very soon! So far, so good.

I was tagged by Loco Eddie as to what seven songs I'm currently listening to death, so here goes:

1) Return To Oz by Scissor Sisters - one of the most gorgeous lyrically tragic and melodically rich songs I have ever had the fortune of listening to; uses the L. Frank Baum story to describe a terrible meth addiction.

2) Anna Molly by Incubus - A terrific band, with a hottie lead singer. 'Nuff said.

3) Say It Right by Nelly Furtado- She is on fire! I love this sexy mamacita! I think I could get it up for her. This song is being used on cell phones and MySpace pages across the land! HAHA!

4) My Love by Justin Timberlake - If I have to hear SexyBack one more time, I will leap off the Golden Gate Bridge, but this song is cool. I think.

5) Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol - actually, I'm listening to lots more of their stuff, but this has been a big hit for them. Good Northern Irish/Scottish band. Not bad.

6) Read My Mind by The Killers- Although their first album was better, this latest one is not too shabby. And bisexual lead singer Brandon Flowers makes me hard. He should go to my gym. Ahem.

7) Cruz de Sal by Los Aterciopelados- Colombian duo that makes some of the best Latin songs around. Love the chick's voice and their catchy hooks. A sample of their work: here.

THE GYM INCIDENT.

Where do I even begin with my insanely infuriating and bizarre story?

My gym, which is notorious for gay cruising and minor sexual activity between CONSENTING ADULTS has this new manager who happens to be black. Yes yes, this kind of activity really should not be occurring in a public place, but it kinda does only because no one there is blind or dead yet and we all know how men are after a good work-out: testosterone-filled pigs basically. Most generally just flirt or stare, but that's it. No harm, no foul really.

Here's the deal though. I'm one of the few who wears swim trunks even while showering. Most of them go in with their birthday suits and that's fine and dandy, but I just feel more comfortable so no one gets too excited at what I'm packing. HAHA! Well, this dude was in the sauna with just his towel on and rules do say u should be wearing swimwear at least in there. So tyrant new black manager comes in as I am showering with my back against the shower head and he pulls the sauna door open, peeks inside, and tells the gentlemen with just the towel on and that he cannot be in there without swimwear. Fair enough I guess, although a bit hostile.

Five minutes later he comes back as I'm leaving the shower area and in my face literally and very aggressively:

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE?" -Sgt. Asshole

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN? CAN'T YOU SEE I WAS RINSING, SHOWERING, AND AM LEAVING? DON'T COME AT ME WITH YOUR MILITANT ATTITUDE, I AM A PAYING CUSTOMER AND YOU ARE HARASSING ME." -WAT

I guess he could sense the gayness on me or whatever, but his ridiculous attitude was uncalled for. I was doing nothing wrong, and the fact that I could be staring or looking at whomever or whatever was not a crime. I was even wearing swim trunks for crying out loud! Needless to say, I was very upset when he left the area, and I quickly got dressed and found him in the front lobby area and confronted him. Calmly, but sternly:

"Listen Roland, I need your supervisor's name and number. What you just did to me in there was harassment. I don't appreciate it. You can apologize now and I will let it go, or I can take this further." -WAT

"Sir, I will not apologize for doing my job, but I will write down corporate office headquarters for you." -Sgt. Asshole (who now looked a bit intimidated)

"I know you're doing your job, and the first gentleman issue you resolved was fine, but what you did to me was not. I have been a member of this gym for years and I have never been so insulted! You were assuming or harassing me for no reason other than suspicions. Thank you Roland." -as WAT walked away.

I will be calling corporate today. Any other suggestions as to what I should do? I went home really really freakin' upset, almost livid at this jerk-off.

It smells of discriminatory homophobia to me, and I have never made a big issue about many comments and insults directed my way before by other stupid people, but this incident takes the cake.

Motherf**ker.

ACTRESS LILY TOMLIN VS. DIRECTOR DAVID O. RUSSELL.

Wow!

Howard Stern played clips of this yesterday on his radio show. Apparently, shooting the film I Heart Huckabees was quite an ordeal between Lily Tomlin and the director. I never saw the film, but it's shocking this movie even got made after what one witnesses here! Most people thought the film sucked anyway. Check out cool-as-hell Dustin Hoffman and the other actors as Lily blows her fuse in subsequent scenes involving her.

Hoping YouTube doesn't pull these off! This has to be seen/heard to be believed:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djT-RD30L7o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iASkg0ZrnDI&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VhDO9Dc-aS0&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-4_OsaA3pE&mode=related&search=

DANCING WITH HEATHER MILLS.

Holy cow!

There she was last night! And I was watching! Hell, let's face it, I think every huge Beatles/MACCA fan was watching Ms. Pegleg strutting her dance moves on Dancing With The Stars, just because we all wanted to see the evil one; the one causing Paul so much emotional heartache and embarrassment. There is no such thing as negative press though, and this is enormously beneficial to Heather, in a twisted way. Paul should benefit too, for everyone is practically on the genius' side! Sure helps to keep the bitter divorce/feud endlessly fascinating don't it?!

She wasn't that bad really. A bit stiff and wooden, but hey, I give her credit for doing it. I mean, so many hate her at the moment, and there she was anyway! Last year, everyone watched the show to watch hottie Mario Lopez strut his stuff, we all know why people are tuning in this season: HEATHER FACKING MILLS! This is a ratings bonanza! HOOHOOAHAHAHAHAHAH! It's kind of funny as we all await ta see if her limb will just fall or fly off! And yeah, I know the Brits are notorious for having bad teeth, but damn sister; Heather's got some real mean oogly ones! WHOA!

-

Her gay dance partner/trainer is super hot by the way. I'd like to bust him open and tear him up so bad, leaving him incapacitated and bleeding for a few days unable to choreograph Heather.

HOORAH!

I GOT EGG ON MY FACE THANKS TO BEYONCÉ.

Well, well, well.

Leave it to Beyoncé to prove me wrong. A bud of mine showed me this clip of her appearance on Oprah, and I was most impressed with her performance of this song from Dreamgirls. I mean, really. She's been doing those cute club pop songs forever, and I've always found her a bit irritating and overhyped; now I finally get to hear the sista sing for real, and well, she got me. She is amazing. At least in this performance she is. Please tell me she ain't lip syncing! The girl owns the stage, sings from the heart, and doesn't even look like the usual Beyoncé we're all used to seeing. I had to rub my eyes a couple of times to make sure it was her.

I mean, is that really freakin' her?! It's unbelievable! Did someone else's voice invade her body at this moment for her to sound so amazing?

Have a look and listen:

OH YOU TUBE! YOU BITCH! THEY YANKED IT OFF! TRY THIS SUCKY LINK PEOPLE:

http://www.zippyvideos.com/1319268316497706/listen/

THE NEW VIETNAM: FOUR YEARS AND COUNTING IN IRAQ.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN:

http://media.putfile.com/FOURYEARS

HOMOSEXUALITY IS "IMMORAL."

Here we go again.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Peter Pace recently stated he considers homosexuality "immoral." O.k. sir. You have every right to voice your opinion under the Constitution. However, gay rights groups also have a right to condemn and defend themselves as well. I keep reading right-wing assholes and Christian fundamentalists mad at the gay community for being upset at General Pace. Well, does the Constitution not protect them as well? Hmmm? Sorry, but if you’re gonna say something controversial, you gotta be prepared to take the hits. This isn’t the 18th century anymore. Women, gays, and minorities now have a voice. It’s just the way it fucking is. Sorry, if we can't just keep our mouths shut like we once were forced to before.

Let’s look at General Pace though. Frankly, and in all crude honesty, I actually find the man quite handsome. HAHA! Yep. Totally my type! Looks like one of those older dudes that are married to women with the kids and all that I’ve "met" or "ran" into quite often. Many men in America are hiding many more secrets than they care to admit. They watch hardcore porn (gay,str8, and bi), and are living double bisexual/gay lives. I know, ‘cause I’ve HAD MANY..ER, OOPS!!! Ahem. Why is the Internet saturated with all this porn? It can't all be gay men who are the pervs! That hetero porn is really quite shockingly nasty! I say consenting adults should be left alone!

Why must we continue the hypocrisy? Even the guy’s name: Peter. PETER. HA! What does his gesture in that pic there mean anyway? Penis size? Hmmm? So many good gay men have served in the military since our good country began. I mean, really. What is the big deal? If two dudes are caught messing around or being inappropriate, then deal with it on an individual basis. Stop trying to divide good people in uniform. If things really got bad and they needed lots of military personnel, I betcha they would allow gays to serve regardless. Kinda like when blacks were allowed to serve, even though they were heavily discriminated back in the day. I know, I know, right-wingers are the first ones to say that race and sexual orientation are different issues and that race cannot be chosen like a man who "chooses" to pillow bite. Well, I say to you: F*CK OFF. How many good gay soldiers have already died and continue to do so for this inept ungrateful country?!

Of course, I had to post some of the comments to this controversy. Once again, Americans show their true colors:

-Everybody's in an uproar because General Pace expressed his personal opinion on homosexuality. I believe that most Americans agree that most abnormal behaviors such as necrophilia, pedophilia and homophilia are in fact immoral. We have just been cowered into not expressing our beliefs publicly.

-Pace was right the first time. Societies that go gay are on the way down and will let "anything go" or anyone come in.

-Well gentlemen. When all is said and done, we must contrast two opposing facts. One is that the bible is true and all of its teachings. Thus if you follow the teachings of the bible your conclusions are very plain. Homosexuality is immoral.

-I strongly agree with General pace. It absolutely is an immoral act that serves no life purpose. Immoral and godless fools like Joseph Rotolo that posted his comment should be expelled from the United States as undesireables. If we don't start standing up to these people now, we will fall out of favor with God and rapidly fall into his wrath, as has happened several times before. Note Sodom and Gamorea. Our elected representatives that have attitudes like John Warner need to be thrown out of office. This great country is headed for the gates of Hell. Wake up, America!

-GOD BLESS YOU GENERAL PACE! NO NEED TO APOLOGIZE FOR THE TRUTH EVER!

-Homosexuality is intolerable. Statistics show that most Americans agree with the former statement, but the homosexual lobby has learned how to yell very loud and they are in control (or at least have influence) in the media. Shame on us for allowing this country to be tolerant of this and other abhorrent behavior.

-If you are all going to throw God into this then make sure you know the scripture. God never intended any person to bey Gay and in the Bible it talks about homosexuality and that is a sin. It is wrong and it is immoral. If God says so then i will follow Him.

-Pace all the way! The truth is the truth homosexuality is nothing but an unnatural manifestation of sexual desire. Immoral, unnatural, and just plain nasty.

-Thank God that General Pace was willing to take a stand for what is moral and right. If the amoral left ever does take over the military then my children will not serve. It's SO REFRESHING to see someone willing to take a stand for what's right. There ARE moral absolutes and people who know this will not be shouted down by the "anything goes" crowd. We will not allow our country to be destroyed. Our founding fathers must be rolling in their graves:(

-It is immoral & you can't be an upstanding Christian in your service to GOD if you break his laws repeatedly. A homosexual cannot serve in the service of GOD. And it is not discrimination, it is a choice these people have made. They have to bear the consequences. Can somebody prove to me how two openly homosexual people of the same sex can procreate without any assistance from science? Everyone who thinks otherwise has screwed-up core mores - right on General Pace!

-The lifestyle and practices of homosexuals can only be condoned by a society that has absolutely lost its moral bearings and has become too stupid to survive.

-The General has a right to believe what he wants! I believe it is a Filthy unatural act, and nobody can tell me what I can believe period.

-Homosexuality is unnatural. Pegs don't go into pegs and dump valves were never meant to serve as inlets. Only humans have learned to force themselves to override the natural functions of their bodies to suit their perversions.

-I agree with the general, Semper Fi!! As a Marine in the late 70's early 80's I had some homsexuals make advances towards me on the base. I did not appreciate it. Homosexuality is unnatural, and morally corrupting. God's word never changed. Sin is still sin.

There ya have it! Enlightening ain't it?

Some of you immoral homos might wanna consider starting a colony on the moon. I mean, with all the love in America as you can plainly see...

"VERY NICE!" -- BORAT SAGDIYEV.

I've seen quite a bit of films in the past week, and wanted to share my mini-reviews with you, without spoiling them for those of you who haven't yet checked them out:

1) O.k. I went to see Zodiac. Very interesting story. Creepy. Genuinely disturbing. Love the atmospheric 70s San Francisco feel. Robert Downey Jr. is terrific as always. Jakey G. is quite good too and adorable of course to look at, especially when he comes out of the rain. My big problem with the film however? TOO DAMN LONG! The editor needed to cut this film by about 40 minutes and dump dem scenes into the deleted section on the DVD. I mean, REALLY!

2) Then there's Babel. WOW! A profound motion picture indeed! Brat Pitt is terrific in this and they age him a bit, but even then he looks hot. Cate Blanchett is good as always. Adriana Barraza as the Mexican nanny is wonderful as is the Japanese actress. A global motion picture in many languages with a very strong socio-political message. Really worth seeing!

3) The big box office hit in theaters now is 300. Highly entertaining! The visuals in this movie are breathtaking. Battle scenes are intense and shot beautifully. It's almost as if one is watching one of those modern video games in action on the Playstation or something. The dudes in this film are really hot and have an almost erotic quality. Based on an actual battle that occurred between the Spartans and the Persians back in antiquity, with a fantasy feel to it. The government of Iran ain't too happy though. But I found it just cool baby! Real cool!

4) This Borat movie. Truly hilarious! I sat down to watch it with a bit of skepticism after all the hype and controversy I'd heard about it. Well, I wasn't disappointed. It had me roaring in no time. Sacha Baron Cohen's character is ignorant, homophobic, racist, sexist, uncouth, vulgar, crude, and quite shocking. Traveling across America interviewing real people is quite an eye-opener. Check out the deleted scenes too, they are quite funny as well. A WINNER!

There ya have it. The one movie to really see in the theater to capture the spectacle of it all is 300.

The rest? DVD baby.

PAUL MCCARTNEY AND WINGS.

Because I believe Paul McCartney is a living songwriting genius, whose glorious musical output did not end with the breakup of The Beatles, here is this little treat I ran into by mistake that I wanna share with you. Notice Linda McCartney in the clips. R.I.P. Linda. You were a true friend and wife to Paul. The musical medley is fantastic. These 70s songs still sound good today.

IN YO' FACE AND F*CK YOU HEATHER. SO YOU LET PAUL INSEMINATE YOU AND YA HAD A BABY. WHATEVER. LEGLESS MONEY GRUBBER.

PAUL AND LINDA FOREVER:

http://mp3how.com/paul-mccartney/video_full7663_1.html

EL PRESIDENTE BUSH EN LATINOAMÉRICA. ¡IDIOTA!

What tha hell is the Prez touring Latin America for?!

It's quite embarrassing really. Your own country hates yer guts; they can't stand yer ass in most of Europe, Asia, or the Middle East, and now you're touring yet another hostile region that'd like ta see yer body set ablaze?! Lame duck man. QUACK! QUACK!

From the AP:

The tour is aimed at challenging a widespread perception that the United States has neglected the region and at combatting the rising influence of Venezuelan leftist President Hugo Chavez, who has called Bush "history's greatest killer" and "the devil."

Let's face it, we'd be better off resurrecting Elvis and sending his zombie on tour south of the border, than our own leader. I think dem peoples would like that more; American music is loved everywhere. That would actually be quite cool; fat zombie Elvis singing all his great hits and filling up soccer stadiums to tell the people of Latin America: "You are poor, starving, and we in the U.S benefit from keeping you in the toilet, but I Elvis am here to make ya feel good, sing my great hits, and keep us all feeling united through the power of music! Look at fat me! And look at all you hungry people! Thank ya very much. ¡Muchas gracias!"

Well o.k. then.

Keep up the lame facade Busho.

As WAT makes a big giant "L" with his fingers and rests them against his forehead.

YOU JUST NEVER KNOW! ¡UNO NUNCA SABE!

Spanish is indubitably, one of the great and most spoken languages on Planet Earth. I, your professor, want to make sure you know what to say, just in case you ever find yourself in these situations!

I mean, you just never freakin' know! Some universal phrases for you, if perhaps the need ever arises! With an easy-to-follow audiocast and fun read-along transcript below!

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN:

http://media.putfile.com/SPANISHLESSON

1) I swallowed my gum just right now trying to stick it in.
-Me tragué el chicle ahorita tratando de meterla.

2) Hey Michael, your mom is kinda hot.
-Oye Miguel, tu mamá está algo buena.

3) Stupid ass, that's my mom you jerk-off!
-¡Pendejo, esa es mi mamá cabrón!

4) It grows every time I see you.
-Crece cada vez que te veo.

5) Once upon a time, there was a man with three legs...
-Érase una vez, un hombre con tres piernas...

6) I prefer you use my microphone.
-Prefiero que uses mi micrófono.

7) My buttocks itch after a while.
-Las nalgas me pican después de un rato.

8) I have something to confess. I was born Victor, but now you know me as Victoria.
-Tengo algo que confesarte. Nací Victor, pero ahora me conoces de Victoria.

9) You're what?! Pregnant?! Where the hell is the vacuum cleaner?!
-¡¿Estás qué?! ¡¿Embarazada?! ¡¿Dónde diablos está la aspiradora?!

10) Usually, I'm afraid of snakes, but not of yours.
-Usualmente, le tengo miedo a las culebras, pero no a la tuya.

I know, I know. Invaluable info!

Till next time...
-Hasta la próxima...

CYRANO DE BERGERAC IS THE KING OF POP.

What tha hell is wrong with Justin Timberlake's nose?! Time for a nose job or something. It's hideous! He is a semi-attractive lad and has always photographed well, but as of late I've noticed the tip of his nose starting to point downwards, like a sort of parrot or something; a veritable melting wax candle or similar to the fake wax nose Lucy Ricardo wore in that classic I Love Lucy episode. Maybe his nose's always been that jacked up and I just finally noticed? JAYSUS!

Oh well, whatever. That toucan is on top of the world, and could give a rat's ass what I think of his disturbing proboscis. Timberlake is a mere 26 years old, comes from a successful boy band, has two hit solo albums under his belt, and is now acting in movies. He dated Britney Spears and Cameron Diaz, both of whom seem to having odd nervous breakdowns now. And we all remember that parrot helping to show off Janet Jackson's boob in that now infamous "wardrobe malfunction" incident during the Super Bowl some years ago.

JT was always stealing the spotlight along with JC Chasez while a member of 'N Sync; he surely got the most fan mail from all those annoying screaming teen girls. His first solo album had a few top ten hits, now this latest one has had three #1 singles. ARGH! Is there no end in sight to Hawk Nose's success? The boy's a juggernaut. Even his appearances on Saturday Night Live have been pretty memorable, for Gonzo is actually quite good at comedy.

Oh well. So young. So famous. So talented. So seemingly in control. When does Gonzo lose it? When does he have a nervous breakdown? When does all this greatness he possesses begin to crumble? Frankly, I'm envious. Yeah, a tad bit.

But seriously, just look at his nose.

Just look at it.

I REMEMBER...

A long time ago, in this galaxy not so far away...

-I remember the kids at school collecting those funny-as-hell twisted sick Garbage Pail Kids cards in elementary school.

-I remember watching and singing along to this show's theme song. I also remember singing along to this dumbass show's theme song too.

-I remember my first major big news story: President Reagan getting shot. Man, I couldn't watch my cartoons thanks to John Hinckley Jr.

-I remember learning about the birds and the bees when I was 10 years old. Yeah, can you believe it? How freakin' naive is that? Now I think I know too damn much.

-I remember my teacher crying hysterically when our elementary school principal announced over the PA system that the Space Shuttle Challenger had exploded.

-I remember watching Moonlighting, The Wonder Years, and Doogie Howser M.D., not only because they were pretty good shows, but because I had secret crushes on Bruce Willis, Fred Savage, and Neil Patrick Harris. Damn, how embarrassing to admit that.

-I remember drinking lots of Strawberry Quik in milk. Fuck, that stuff was nothing but sugar and the thought of drinking that now would make me gag.

-I remember Latin freestyle music being big in junior high. Yes! Artists like: The Cover Girls, Stevie B., and Exposé.

-I remember the birth of cable television when my Dad installed ON-TV in our home. There was also that SelecTV. YIKES!

-I remember begging my mom to get me the latest hit single on 45 record every weekend when I was but a pipsqueak.

-I remember using the Dudley and PAAS brand Easter Egg coloring kits.

Yeah, there's lots I remember, but that's enough remembering for now.

I feel old.

WAT'S CRUMMY COLD WEEK AS TIME FLIES ON BY AND YOU PUT TOO MUCH SAUCE ON THE SPAGHETTI.

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CLICK HERE TO LISTEN:

http://media.putfile.com/THECRUMMYWEEK

Note: If playback is choppy or stalls, do not refresh/reload page! Simply drag time marker to the beginning and let it playback again. AND YES, THE AUDIO HOST SERVER HAD BEEN DOWN AND IS ACTING UP FROM TIME TO TIME. GRRRRRRR!